“She’ll Leave Me With Plain Crackers”: Guy Has To Go Hungry Because His Unemployed GF Eats Everything, He Finally Snaps
The global economy is in a very peculiar place right now, and some people are feeling their wallets getting lighter and lighter. While some food items have gotten cheaper, others have skyrocketed in price, so it’s become hard to budget. And not everyone is willing to change their eating habits to adapt to the new circumstances.
Redditor u/Wrong_Psychology5461 turned to the AITA online community for a verdict after a spot of drama at home. He revealed how he ended up yelling at his girlfriend after she ate all of his food, and then spilled the beans about her eating habits. As it turns out, money’s very tight, but she keeps eating all of their food. “Like, all of it.” Read on for the full story. Bored Panda has reached out to u/Wrong_Psychology5461 via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
When money is tight, the entire household has to be on the same page when it comes to managing expenses
Image credits:Kevin Malik (not the actual photo)
A guy revealed how he finally lost it because his girlfriend kept eating everything that she could get her hands on
Image credits:voronaman111 (not the actual photo)
Image credits:Wrong_Psychology5461
Talking about the issue didn’t seem to help before
The OP shared some context about the situation at home. His girlfriend is unemployed, having been laid off half a year ago. So, for the past six months, the boyfriend’s been the one covering their rent, utilities, and groceries. And here’s the issue: according to the redditor, his girlfriend’s eating habits mean that they “always run out of food money” before his paycheck comes in.
“She’ll eat everything she wants, and leave me with plain crackers or lettuce. I mean, everything. Even stuff I’ve specifically labeled or said I want. The cupboards will be bare and I’ll have to skip meals three days before my next paycheck because she’s eaten everything,” the OP vented on the AITA subreddit.
He finally lost it when his girlfriend ate most of the cupcakes that he’d bought for his sister’s birthday, and drank his fancy pomegranate juice. Things got slightly out of hand—he yelled at her to stop devouring everything that he buys. He pointed out that they’ve talked about her habits before, but she “shuts me down and denies it.”
Most redditors were actually on the boyfriend’s side. Of course, yelling won’t solve anything—clear communication and healthy boundaries will—but the AITA community even ended up giving him some practical advice on what to do next. Some internet users suggested getting a fridge lockbox and pointed out that, “It’s not fat shaming to tell someone to stop behaving as if they are 3/4 locust.”
Unfortunately, if talking about the issue doesn’t work, you have to find another way to show your loved one that actions have consequences. Physically locking the food is one way to do this. Only buying enough food for the day is another (though very impractical) approach. Another solution would be to encourage the partner to look for a job so that the couple has a larger food budget to work with.
Image credits:cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Some food items have gotten incredibly expensive over the past year
Over the past year, the price of eggs has risen 36% in the US, margarine went up by 33.4%, and flour got 17.5% more expensive. CNN reports that potatoes also got 9.7% more expensive, the price of cheese skyrocketed by 8.2%, and milk is 5.5% costlier than a year ago.
At the same time, some food items actually cooled down between 2022 and spring 2023. The price of bacon, for instance, fell 5.5% while the cost of fresh fruits depreciated 1.5%. But for Americans who have been battling high inflation, these are extremely small lights at the end of the tunnel. Slightly cheaper bacon won’t make up for the eggpocalypse, for instance.
Though cutting back and learning to budget for groceries can be daunting at first, it’s not the end of the world. We know that not everyone enjoys change (especially downscaling one’s quality of life), but try to think of it as a temporary setback. A challenge that you know you’ll eventually beat.
Your goal is to come up with a system where you and your family are eating enough nutritious food to stay healthy. This can include cutting back on eating out, looking for cheaper alternatives to your favorite items, and downscaling how often you can splurge on the fancier stuff. So fast food and snacks become a luxury, not a daily occurrence.
However, if you’re skipping meals just to make ends meet, you either need to get on the same page with your entire household or you may need to seek outside help—whether it’s asking your family and friends to lend a hand or getting in touch with your local food bank.
Image credits:Max Rahubovskiy (not the actual photo)
Saving on grocery costs requires a bit of creativity
Bored Panda’s written before how one of the biggest steps you can take to cut back on your food expenses is to reduce the amount of red meat that you eat. It’s expensive, and there are cheaper sources of protein available. For example, you could opt for cheaper cuts of meat or embrace beans!
Obviously, buying food in bulk helps your wallet out a lot, too! You can cooperate with your friends, relatives, and neighbors to buy larger quantities of food and then put them in the freezer for the future. So long as you freeze your groceries properly so it doesn’t spoil, you won’t lose any nutrients inside them. You can do this with meat, vegetables, and fruit.
And in case you need a go-to recipe for a quick meal, consider making a stir-fry. You can use whatever ingredients are seasonal (don’t be scared to buy discounted unaesthetic veggies), or you can grow some greens and herbs in your garden.
Image credits:Tara Clark (not the actual photo)
The boyfriend shared some more context in the comments of his post
The internet was very supportive of the guy. Here’s what some people had to say about the entire thing
Nta and I'd add the accusation of fat shaming is a form of emotional blackmail. I would be giving an ultimatum at this point.
Oh absolutely, the tears are clearly a manipulation tactic.
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NTA. I think she's eating away a depression and needs therapy. Just my opinion. She's letting him go hungry but is in total denial.
I'm not a doctor or therapist, but that was my first thought too.
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So many people say he isn't supporting her. He pays for her housing, utilities, and groceries while she isn't even looking for a job. If that isn't support I don't know what is. Supporting someone who is depressed doesn't mean taking on burdens beyond what you are capable of. It is not his job to do everything for her and unless she accepts that she has a mental health problem and does something about it she is too burdensome to deal with. If she can't do the minimum to make sure you don't starve the very least she could do is apply for SNAP, buy and eat her own food. This is coming from someone who has dealt with food insecurity, severe depression, anxiety, disordered binge eating, and an ex who was unemployed for about a year that I was feeding. There is no need for him to suffer like this.
To people trying to excuse this with mental problems. Nope. Doesn't matter. As a person being in and out for therapy, that's not how depression works. It can do horrible things to you, but it doesn't suddenly turn you into a narcissistic mooch who doesn't care for other people's wellbeing and makes you blame them for you just doing whatever you want. That's just being an inconsiderate AH. Being mentally ill doesn't excuse behaving like this. If she doesn't do a hard 180 turn, he's better off dropping her. She's showing her true self. And her true self is a lazy, inconsiderate mooch. That's it.
My sister has bipolar disorder and goes through major depressive episodes that can lasts months l,l. But she is not going to eat someone else's birthday cupcakes!!!
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The unemployment and freeloading is the problem and the food is just a symptom. This woman will never work again if she can get away with it. Op needs to think hard about how long he’s willing to live like this. I guarantee she’ll have a job within a week if he throws her out.
My advice: change the locks. As a diabetic, I used to buy sugar free foods for myself, only to come home and find my wife and daughter had eaten it all, leaving me only sugary foods to eat, because apparently people think only of themselves and don't care about anybody else, including the person paying all the bills.
Owes her an apology? Oh f**k that noise. No, MOTHER f**k that noise. OP owes his gf exactly nothing, because he's already given her everything. I hesitate to advocate ending relationships in these threads, because people are too quick to go there, but OP needs to lay down the law, and be taken seriously. And be willing to end it if she continues with this b******t. She's f****d around, let her find out. Oh and the crying? Looks to me like a classic manipulation ploy. I have an ex who used to do that, and I'll just bet that if he calls her bluff, the tears will dry in a heartbeat and be replaced by some other means of getting her way. Oh and the yelling is totally justified. I'm pissed off at her just from reading this.
Living with someone who does a total disregard for your feelings, needs, boundaries etc is emotionally exhausting. No matter how much love and consideration you show them, you get little to none in return. And if you stand up for yourself you get the guilt trip and things twisted to it being your fault. It's not a good way to live and in almost 15 years, it hasn't changed. It's a huge red flag.
No, NTA, b******t she can't help herself that is pathetic impulse control. Ditch her because if she's like this with food just wait until you get decent money flowing in. She is gonna spend like it's going out of style. Ditch her now!
Yeah, she can't be trusted with the food HE paid for, so she definitely can't be trusted with the money HE earns, if she's not pulling her own weight financially. I would suggest to this guy that he never combines finances, or never get all their funds into a joint account that they both have unrestricted access to. She's basically using him for free rent at this point, but under the guise of a committed relationship.
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This is a sad story. If she (they) can't afford food, can't afford therapy, either. Give her a real ultimatum, get a job or move out. Period. Is she over qualified get a decent job to have some income flowing until she finds what's right? What do her family and friends think about all of this?
There's depression and stress eating; then, there's leaving nothing left for your partner. She can see with her own eyes that there's nothing for him to eat! When I was unemployed during the pandemic. I took over all cooking (and housekeeping) duties. We actually saved money from me cooking nearly every meal and planning meals around what was cheap or on sale at the grocery store. Spending afternoon making tomato sauce, stew, soup, etc that can be reheated or made into another meal kept us afloat.
She's allowed to be stressed, and maybe even over indulging a little. But routinely forcing someone she supposedly loves to go without meals for days is beyond something I could sympathize with. He's tried talking to her, it didn't work. Yes she has mental health issues, but I can't imagine that he doesn't also have some depression over the whole situation as well. And to have to be without food despite being the only one working and still expected to do half the household chores on an empty stomach? This girl's definitely crossed the line into being a toxic partner. Also, if there's no food in the house for 3 days at times, why hasn't she figured out to save some for later? She's gotta be hungry those 3 days too.
Pregnant people do not let others starve because they are hungry. I think it's stress. I know someone who hates visiting her family for Christmas. Her mother makes a pot roast with carrots, celery and potatoes just for her. Why? Because her daughter has eaten a whole pot roast before without asking if anyone else would like some. When family members found out that the pot roast was gone, she said that she was hungry and also, she couldn't help it. She is 5 feet 3 inches, 135 lbs and has a flat stomach. I've talked to her privately about it and she admitted to me that she doesn't like coming over but insists that she REALLY IS Hungry. She's young. It's sad. No, she won't go to therapy.
I wonder who is doing the grocery shopping? Is it him, her, both of them? Assuming it's him (since he's the money earner) then stop buying groceries. Get just enough for each meal. At least that way you're both getting fed and the money is staying in your pocket. If you're leaving food in the house for her during the day, then it's literally just enough for that day. While she shouldn't be binging on all the food you can control that. Therapy might be out of the question since money is tight, but they really need to sit down and have a serious heart to heart. And maybe he needs to drop the B word (break up) not as a threat, but as a wake up.
Hopefully she doesn't have access to the money! Otherwise that might be another route to take to at least keep from starving.
Load More Replies... I'm absolutely not condoning her behavior, but she has all the hallmarks of clinical depression. Apathy, overeating, being out of touch with what's going on around her, etc. She should also be evaluated for hormonal imbalances that may be making her overeat. That being said, if she refuses to get help from a professional, OP needs to do what's in his best interest and start putting his needs first. He can't take care of himself or anyone else if he's suffering from malnutrition and an untrustworthy partner who's unwilling to help herself.
I'd be kicking her lazy a*s to the curb. She clearly doesn't love or respect the op. She definitely has the "But, I'm a princess" mentality.
That was in no way fat shaming. She needs help in every sense of the word. NTA.
She's stressed and eating. It happens and it sneaks up on you. Isn't she getting unemployment? That should bring in some money. Before she does anything, she should talk to a psychologist. The eating is soothing her pain. She may not even realize she's doing it, while she's eating. But that's out of control. She needs to find something that gets her out of the house. There are job postings everywhere you go now. Every store, restaurant, factory. But it won't happen by yelling at her. She may need professional help.
Yes but what about his stress levels? Where is his emotional support? I think he's supporting her a lot with patience for fitting the bills for 6 months while she does nothing but eat all the food.
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ETA, she can see that her actions are negatively affecting him and, if she is not in such a distinct mental breakdown to be unaware of her surroundings, she should try to seek help. however, it sounds like OP lost it on her after seeing these signs for a LONG time. these are very clear signs of depression and possibly an eating disorder to boot. from what OP has said, he encourages her to get a job or do more housework, but he does not encourage her to talk to family/friends/a doctor to get support. to react consistently like there isn't a root cause behind these actions and then kick her out while the symptoms are peak unbearable feels like too little too late. may not be applicable, but with the info we have, this sounds like it was put off until the last possible second.
He’s NTA, he’s starving. He’s HANGRY to the millionth power
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I'm not locking anything up at my house except the safe and the outside doors. She would have to go.
I say NTA-She's not doing anything to help pay for the bills or anything she's eating.She seems unwilling to get a job.I agree she seems to be depressed.I'm not sure the extra weight is helping anything and she doesn't seem to want to talk about it
Ummm...excuse me but how are you "taking advantage of her" after she lost her job?? And, she's not making much effort to find another job???? She's not your girlfriend anymore, she's a lazy, entitled roommate. Your not "fat shaming" her, you're pointing out her selfish gluttony. Time to reevaluate this relationship. Good luck.
I'm going to be completely blunt, and say that I don't blame him for saying that he hopes she's not pregnant when the question was asked. This woman, which I say loosely based on her behavior, can't be trusted to respect her BFs of 4 years boundaries, needs/wants, or to ensure he is well fed, or even half fed, while she only feeds herself on his dime. She puts herself and her needs above everything, I'd hate to see a child forced to eat scraps, while their mother gorges themselves, and lives off of government wellfare just because she has a kid.
It sounds like your GF is not only a bit depressed, but a lazy f*cking pig as well. If she wanted a job, she would have one. She is totally taking advantage of you.
Ok, I can say this because I'm a healthcare provider with experience treating people with mental health issues. Your GF is not AH. She is depressed. Her overeating and inability to hold a job are symptoms. Please sit down and kindly discuss this with her. Most people don't want to admit depression or anything to do with this because of the stigma. There is something in her past that ties her emotions to food. Now, for your will being, physical and emotional health, you need to consider what your future plans are with this woman. Sometimes love is not enough to sustain a relationship. This will be a LONG hard road for her and until she gets better you WILL have to (unfortunately) lock your food away. This is going to hurt her feelings and cause stress for both of you. This relationship may end. She is young enough to get past this if she is willing to do the work. I am not in a position to tell you how you feel or how dedicated you are so l won't advise you what to do.
Only you know how things were and what she was fully like before she was unemployed. Is it all a depression situation that wasn't there pre-unemployment or does she just have all day to give in to narcissistic, self indulgent tendencies she was exhibiting while she was employed as well. And eating all the food and letting the earner go hungry....that's kinda selfish, depressed or not.
She definitely needs therapy. It is hard to stay focused on a job or lean new things with a mental disorder that is flared. Step on would to go see about maybe going to the health department or calling 211 to see about free counseling. Step two is maybe doing a walking group with friends
The issue is deeper than just locking up the fridge. I sincerely believe this woman is suffering from depression, anxiety and a host of other issues revolving around her situation. Over indulgence in food is only one example of behaviours that temporarily fill that void. I'm confident that she's not doing it on purpose. Everyone deals with depression in different ways such as eating, drinking, drugs, sex or gambling. Depression rears it's ugly head in many ways that not only affects the individual, but, everyone involved. Until the depression is addressed and gets under control things won't change, they will get worse. PLEASE, if you love and care for this woman see that she seeks help. I promise once that issue is under control the rest will fall into place. I'm talking from experience. Depression does NOT get better on its own, it only progresses.
You're her partner, not her mother. If she wants to be catered to in this selfish way (and it is utter selfishness) she can move home with her parents. Keep seeing her, but i'd keep the relationship at arms length until she got her sh*t together and apologized for using you in this way. Depression is no excuse for this lazy self involvement she's descended into. I'd have broken up with her when the cupcakes happened, she's lost all respect for others at that point.
NTA, but I think he needs to try and suggest gf get some help/therapy, it sounds as if gf is using eating as a coping habit to deal with depression (i've been there and done that myself, it sucks, because then you do just, in my experience, end up feeling worse due to the weight you gain ;-; ) but she obviously can't keep literally eating him out of house and home, making OP go hungry because he can't afford to get extra food for himself, nor can he trust that anything he does get himself be left alone.
Nta. I think the gf is developing a serious ED and needs professional help ASAP. HOWEVER OP must preserve himself!
NTA. GF needs to be an "ex", and she should go live with a family member. Many of us have had career interruptions, and have taken jobs well below our skill level just to be able to pay the bills. We've all worked jobs we didn't like, but we kept a roof over our heads (and food) until we could get something better.
i would break up with her if shes still unemployed and eats everything, shes literally using the dude lol im sure she will work if they broke up
Coming from an overweight disabled person who is unable to work but still does all the chores, cooking and food stocking (ordering, I have moderate agoraphobia) - Not fat shaming, she's not trying to get a job, she's a leech, let her go. She makes people with real issues look as lazy as she is. Even with all my issues, I'll try doing cleaning jobs or ferrying jobs to earn money. But because I'm technically unemployed, I pick up all the house work and cooking, balance the bills, make sure everything is paid on time and generally make sure my husband *only* has to work. He comes home, he relaxes.
Definitely depression and eating disorder....speaking from personal experience, not professional. That does not give her the right to close herself off to her BF and outright neglect and abuse his needs repeatedly. She can plan meals and snacks ahead of time to curb things until she can afford medical aid. And a part time job is a great way to start out again! It is what I had to do. She can even try temp work. Point though she has to be willing to try. At this point the are dating, not married. If she does not openly discuss both their needs and how to address them, then she likely is not his forever relationship. Ending it so she can find the support network she needs would be the best thing for them both.
Who cares if you’re fat shaming her? Looks like she needs to feel shame…I mean, even eating birthday cakes for someone else? That’s just plain disrespectful.
One of the things that really bothers me...is that your working....but still doing 50% of the housework as well...all while starving. If she's not working...she should do all the housework, until she gets work, then I can go back to 50/50. Suggest this...and watch how fast she goes to get work. Also...it would get her moving nore, therefore loose some of the weight shes gained. As that seems to be a point of contention for her. I think she's projecting her own feelings of gained weight onto you. Seriousely though, if youre the only one working, she needs to pull more weight at home. She's the one taking advantage of your kindness. Whether she realizes it or not.
Jesus man. Kick her the f out. Pussy isn't that special, especially when it's 50 lbs heavier than when you met it. People need to harden the f up.
NTA if I ate food that wasn't mine my boyfriend would lose it too especially the subway because that's a treat for both of you. The fact she doesn't care if you starve despite you being the one working is very indicative of her feelings towards you right now. Even if you don't leave you need to put some distance so you can see if that changes anything
NTA.. but she obviously has a psychological problem. She's stress eating. In this case food is her only comfort. It's the only thing truly making her happy .. albeit short lived. She needs help. It would be good to reach out to her family or friend group and ask them to help you get her the help she needs... and if she doesn't want to seek help, then it's time for tough love and yiu need to rethink your relationship. Sounds like you're doing most of the heavy lifting in this one.
She might need mental help but clearly she's not likely going to seek it. Clearly she's stress eating from not working or some other issue but if she's stress eating from not working than the fact that she quit her job shortly after starting it means she's in an endless loop of lazyness and stress eating. Ultimately there's nothing anyone can do and you probably should cut the ties with her as long as your around she's going to keep repeating what she's doing and the only way out is to cut off any support she's receiving and maybe she'll finally get a wakeup call.
If she's eaten enough to gain 30lbs in six months she's not going to stop anytime soon unless OP gets a lockbox and sets an ultimatum.
This is a bit tough...sounds like she might have severe depression causing an eating disorder...while she shouldnt be eating things that are clearly not hers n you have a right to be frustrated with her, she also might not be able to help it if its a mental issue at foot. Id consider sitting her down n suggesting she see a therapist/doctor who might be able to give a better answer even solution to this
This is so incredibly frustrating to read. If your son was in a relationship like this what would you say to him? At the very least put a timer on it. I hope you don't wake up years from now wishing you had the time back
It's really simple. Eat out and stop bringing food home! If you have some compulsion to "feed" her out of compassion for someone who is selfish and lazy then go buy some really cheap discount items but nothing more than survival ration amounts. Tell her it's gotta last x many days then when she gorges herself and there's nothing left after about 10 minutes you must stick to your guns and refuse to cave in. I guarantee (if you're willing to persevere) that her attitude towards getting off her backside and finding work will change real quick. It may be hard to hear however you are actually enabling this poor behaviour from your gf. I dunno about your sex life (perhaps it's fantastic since you put up with this pita) but personally if I were you I would definitely kick her a*# to the curb cause she's using you and soon enough she will be clinically obese.
Why do I feel like her getting "laid off" was absolutely her fault too? If pouring coffees was too hard, do we think this person is ever going to hold down a steady job ever again, if she has BF to lean on instead? Time to start storing food outside the home until she feels she *needs* to work to eat. She'll either find a new job or a new BF, but either way, OP's starvation will end
NTA. I'd like to know what, if anything, the OP did. Stories like this make me wonder what is going on...
I'd like to know what he finally did, if anything. Stories like this really make me wonder what in the world is going on with some people.
I can understand what I call nervous eating as I experienced it myself during lockdown. I'm also chronically depressed, do that didn't help either. The reality of life is that it's not always the way we want it to be. "Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape." 😉 There are A LOT of volunteer opportunities out there, especially with non-profit organizations. A person can easily fill their week with a variety of volunteer opportunities. It's an excellent opportunity to keep busy and to be helpful. AND a person can meet people, learn new marketable skills, enhance one's resume, network. It's also quite possible to become gainfully employed as a result of volunteering. I suggest she check it out.
He needs to eat out and stop buying food for the house... pretty simple solution.
I wonder if OP has considered going vegan or plant based. I mean... Will she still eat it if it's quinoa and kale? Plant based diets are getting cheaper than those with meat. It might be a good time for a lifestyle change and if all that's available in the house is healthy foods I wonder if this would still be a problem.
He shouldn’t have to change his lifestyle for his inconsiderate gf. She needs to tighten up.
Load More Replies... Basically, she has gotten to the point that she feels so "secure" in the relationship, because it's a 4-year long relationship, that she's completely at ease treating him like her personal pantry stocker, who's not entitled to eat what he buys. In other words, at this point, he's the "help" though she's not paying him with money, and he is left with her scraps. And even then, those scraps are just lettuce and saltine crackers. Too many people are trying to pass this off as just due to depression or something similar. Someone who is depressed, regardless of gender, and who is stress eating does not go literally out of their way to eat things that are specifically requested to not be touched or are not meant for them in any way. This woman is beyond abusive, manipulative, and clearly does not respect her partner. He points out how he never gets to eat and she gaslights him by pretending that he's shaming her for her weight.
It's pathetic how in a post involving a woman eating everything with no regard for her partner, the overall consensus is stress eating, and she just needs help. In a post where the overeating partner is male and reacting the same exact way, the overall consensus would be mostly shaming him for being abusive and a manipulative gaslighter.
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You are NTA, either is she. She is depressed and grieving the loss of her job. She feels useless. My 36yo son lives with me. He works too. He eats everything in site. I buy foods for lunch and plan out my lunches for work. I buy in bulk too. He eat in bulk. I have found the only way to get food is to buy things he doesn't like. There is not much he dosent like.Money is not a big issue. I just hate having to go to the store so often. He buys a lot of junk food. I try not to eat too much of it. I have given up on juices and drinks. I just get them at the gas station when I want something.
Yeah, no. You need to do something about your situation, it’s very unhealthy.
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Seriously, throw her out. If she's on a lease, stop buying food, she will get the message. As he said she's not even trying, 6 months there is no way she's still collecting unemployment. She can get a job making sandwiches if she wants to eat. Time she starts acting like a responsible adult for once
As far as what is posted, NOBODY called the girlfriend fat. To claim that OP was fat shaming is BUĹLSHİT. Girlfriend is probably depressed because that is what happens when you sit around all day eating and not expending energy. She could get therapy, but the other thing that would solve this problem without involving medical professionals is GETTING A JOB!!!
NTA! OP needs to practice "tough love" on GF because she's literally eating him out of house and home! Start by giving her an ultimatum: get help, get a job or get out! She starts crying and claiming OP is "fat shaming"? Stand his ground and tell her to start finding a job somewhere, or leave!
I'm tired of people eating like pigs then crying "fat shaming". She's extremely rude and immature. She's not even trying to get a new job. She won't help out more around the house either. It's not depression it's laziness " no job is right" " Timmies was too hard"! Really!?! Send her home to Mommy she not ready to be an adult.
NTA. This is sounding horribly similar to my situation with an unwanted tenant. Hubs thought having a tenant would help us with the bills...long story short, she screamed at us for the dumbest c**p daily (I got yelled at for eating my own food and for coming home from work/ leaving for work) and refused to even pay for bills yet would scream at us for not having money for stuff after demanding to be taken out to eat almost daily. She would get the most expensive thing on the menu, take two bites, bring it home and let it rot in the fridge if I didn't feed it to her kid before then. But had no problem eating everything other than her leftover food. She would steal my son's diapers/pullups and our dog food/cat food/litter, even ate cupcakes I bought to try without leaving me one. I can completely sympathize! Why not try and ask her to leave you some food? I always left some food for hubs when we were tight on food, even when I was pregnant.
This sounds like major depression. My sister is like this. She can and will go months without being motivated to do anything but eat. However, she would never eat someone else's birthday cake. That's an ahole move and the gf is making it seem like her bf is the problem. He needs to ask her why she thinks it's even remotely ok for him to go to work hungry. If he does any sort of manual labor, even if he's a fry cook, he could get seriously injured.
Curious- does she smoke a lot of weed? That fact that he has asked her to not eat him out of house and home time and again and still does it. She obviously has issues. Passive-aggressiveness? He needs to dump her or at least try counseling.
NTA: she’s TA. 1. Eating everything in the house and leaving you with nothing for days is inappropriate. 2. You’ve peacefully had this discussion with her and it is still continuing. 3. You asked her not to eat your sisters birthday cake and did it anyways(this… this right here was done on purpose) 4. Everyone is saying this is an eating disorder. It’s not. This is gluttony at its finest. 5. Says it’s out of depression but refuses to get a job, I suffer from depression, CPTSD, anxiety, dyslexia(which is embarrassing) and have 2 jobs… 2 jobs… she doesn’t want to because she knows you’ll take care of her. 6. Then she tells you that your fat shaming her for asking her to stop eating so much, not to stop eating but to stop eating so much. Honestly, all I’m seeing is abuse.
BTH Sounds like you guys are barely making it yet you're eating subs. I hope not subway because for the price of 2 subs I could get a good bit of food at Walmart. Also you should qualify for assistance you can get help with this stuff don't starve each other to death. If she's hungry she's f*****g hungry. I hate people that give people a hard time for being hungry a lot. I have an ulcer and I have to eat often or I get a burning sensation in my stomach that's agony. That's so stupid. How about instead of yelling at her you go to a food bank and get help that's what they're there for. She needs to get a job but you don't have to starve or make her go hungry. You guys both are awful because she's inconsiderate and you're just dumb for not getting any kind of assistance. Also she could be depressed but she could also be pregnant and if she's pregnant you need to make sure she eats as much as she wants. If she's depressed she needs therapy not being yelled at. Poorly handled by everyone.
If you don't feel comfortable locking up your food (I know how it is, I'm currently locking up my food and other items) then just don't buy groceries anymore. Go get food for yourself, or grab something quick on your way to work. Don't buy food for the house, you don't have kids. Tell her you can't afford it to all go to waste in a day, and that if she needs food in the house she's gonna have to start bringing in the income for it. I've also had to do this. It was the only thing that would work to get the lazy m**o off his a$$. He went 4 days with nothing in the house before he got a job. I was kinda hoping he would just leave lol but didn't work that way. It's a shame when ppl we really care about show that they really don't give a rats a$$ about us in return by doing these things. Then they just make excuses saying they are stressed, and nothing's right for them. Let her be hungry a few days. Might change her mind.
Or just leave? There are 8 BILLION people, why put up with an a*****e?
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What part of walk away are you not getting? Stop sleeping with her before she does get pregnant. She would probably drink her own breast milk. It will never get better.
She is going to leave you bcuz you have proven to her that you are a puss, not a man. And just how small IS your fridge? Really, you can't come up with a solution all by yourself? You have to ask a million strangers if you are an a*****e? You deserve what you are getting. You aren't an a*****e but what are you? 12?
BOTH are a******s. Does not sound like there's that much love there. The woman is STRESS-EATING; he's FREAKING OUT at being the only provider; they're not supporting each other emotionally, at all. Being his girlfriend, and not his wife, she can file for SNAP i.e. EBT, until she gets a job that's commensurate with her skills. But fighting over food? That's beyond the pale.
No. She isnt supporting him. For christ sake she ate the birthday present for his sister and act like its nothing. She is a pure narcissistic who doesnt want to do anything, but wants everything.
Load More Replies... No. You dont need understanding for someone who jas no care for you. He tried talking to her and she blew him off. All the while he is working to support them, but can barely eat cause she shows no care.
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Maybe if you read it properly you could have seen the but where he's tried to talk about it but she shuts him down. He's saying that it's disgusting that he's paying for all the food and gets none of it. And yeah, it does sound like she's suffering with depression. I suffered with depression for years before I was diagnosed. I pissed so many people off because I was in denial. I pushed people away. Did dumb things to make people angry. I look back on that and this yeah, I was depressed. But I didn't do anything about it. And all the people who went NC with me deserved better. Sometimes we need to take responsibility even if we are suffering with mental health. Too many people use it as an excuse to get away with things.
Load More Replies... Nta and I'd add the accusation of fat shaming is a form of emotional blackmail. I would be giving an ultimatum at this point.
Oh absolutely, the tears are clearly a manipulation tactic.
Load More Replies... NTA. I think she's eating away a depression and needs therapy. Just my opinion. She's letting him go hungry but is in total denial.
I'm not a doctor or therapist, but that was my first thought too.
Load More Replies... So many people say he isn't supporting her. He pays for her housing, utilities, and groceries while she isn't even looking for a job. If that isn't support I don't know what is. Supporting someone who is depressed doesn't mean taking on burdens beyond what you are capable of. It is not his job to do everything for her and unless she accepts that she has a mental health problem and does something about it she is too burdensome to deal with. If she can't do the minimum to make sure you don't starve the very least she could do is apply for SNAP, buy and eat her own food. This is coming from someone who has dealt with food insecurity, severe depression, anxiety, disordered binge eating, and an ex who was unemployed for about a year that I was feeding. There is no need for him to suffer like this.
To people trying to excuse this with mental problems. Nope. Doesn't matter. As a person being in and out for therapy, that's not how depression works. It can do horrible things to you, but it doesn't suddenly turn you into a narcissistic mooch who doesn't care for other people's wellbeing and makes you blame them for you just doing whatever you want. That's just being an inconsiderate AH. Being mentally ill doesn't excuse behaving like this. If she doesn't do a hard 180 turn, he's better off dropping her. She's showing her true self. And her true self is a lazy, inconsiderate mooch. That's it.
My sister has bipolar disorder and goes through major depressive episodes that can lasts months l,l. But she is not going to eat someone else's birthday cupcakes!!!
Load More Replies... The unemployment and freeloading is the problem and the food is just a symptom. This woman will never work again if she can get away with it. Op needs to think hard about how long he’s willing to live like this. I guarantee she’ll have a job within a week if he throws her out.
My advice: change the locks. As a diabetic, I used to buy sugar free foods for myself, only to come home and find my wife and daughter had eaten it all, leaving me only sugary foods to eat, because apparently people think only of themselves and don't care about anybody else, including the person paying all the bills.
Owes her an apology? Oh f**k that noise. No, MOTHER f**k that noise. OP owes his gf exactly nothing, because he's already given her everything. I hesitate to advocate ending relationships in these threads, because people are too quick to go there, but OP needs to lay down the law, and be taken seriously. And be willing to end it if she continues with this b******t. She's f****d around, let her find out. Oh and the crying? Looks to me like a classic manipulation ploy. I have an ex who used to do that, and I'll just bet that if he calls her bluff, the tears will dry in a heartbeat and be replaced by some other means of getting her way. Oh and the yelling is totally justified. I'm pissed off at her just from reading this.
Living with someone who does a total disregard for your feelings, needs, boundaries etc is emotionally exhausting. No matter how much love and consideration you show them, you get little to none in return. And if you stand up for yourself you get the guilt trip and things twisted to it being your fault. It's not a good way to live and in almost 15 years, it hasn't changed. It's a huge red flag.
No, NTA, b******t she can't help herself that is pathetic impulse control. Ditch her because if she's like this with food just wait until you get decent money flowing in. She is gonna spend like it's going out of style. Ditch her now!
Yeah, she can't be trusted with the food HE paid for, so she definitely can't be trusted with the money HE earns, if she's not pulling her own weight financially. I would suggest to this guy that he never combines finances, or never get all their funds into a joint account that they both have unrestricted access to. She's basically using him for free rent at this point, but under the guise of a committed relationship.
Load More Replies... This is a sad story. If she (they) can't afford food, can't afford therapy, either. Give her a real ultimatum, get a job or move out. Period. Is she over qualified get a decent job to have some income flowing until she finds what's right? What do her family and friends think about all of this?
There's depression and stress eating; then, there's leaving nothing left for your partner. She can see with her own eyes that there's nothing for him to eat! When I was unemployed during the pandemic. I took over all cooking (and housekeeping) duties. We actually saved money from me cooking nearly every meal and planning meals around what was cheap or on sale at the grocery store. Spending afternoon making tomato sauce, stew, soup, etc that can be reheated or made into another meal kept us afloat.
She's allowed to be stressed, and maybe even over indulging a little. But routinely forcing someone she supposedly loves to go without meals for days is beyond something I could sympathize with. He's tried talking to her, it didn't work. Yes she has mental health issues, but I can't imagine that he doesn't also have some depression over the whole situation as well. And to have to be without food despite being the only one working and still expected to do half the household chores on an empty stomach? This girl's definitely crossed the line into being a toxic partner. Also, if there's no food in the house for 3 days at times, why hasn't she figured out to save some for later? She's gotta be hungry those 3 days too.
Pregnant people do not let others starve because they are hungry. I think it's stress. I know someone who hates visiting her family for Christmas. Her mother makes a pot roast with carrots, celery and potatoes just for her. Why? Because her daughter has eaten a whole pot roast before without asking if anyone else would like some. When family members found out that the pot roast was gone, she said that she was hungry and also, she couldn't help it. She is 5 feet 3 inches, 135 lbs and has a flat stomach. I've talked to her privately about it and she admitted to me that she doesn't like coming over but insists that she REALLY IS Hungry. She's young. It's sad. No, she won't go to therapy.
I wonder who is doing the grocery shopping? Is it him, her, both of them? Assuming it's him (since he's the money earner) then stop buying groceries. Get just enough for each meal. At least that way you're both getting fed and the money is staying in your pocket. If you're leaving food in the house for her during the day, then it's literally just enough for that day. While she shouldn't be binging on all the food you can control that. Therapy might be out of the question since money is tight, but they really need to sit down and have a serious heart to heart. And maybe he needs to drop the B word (break up) not as a threat, but as a wake up.
Hopefully she doesn't have access to the money! Otherwise that might be another route to take to at least keep from starving.
Load More Replies... I'm absolutely not condoning her behavior, but she has all the hallmarks of clinical depression. Apathy, overeating, being out of touch with what's going on around her, etc. She should also be evaluated for hormonal imbalances that may be making her overeat. That being said, if she refuses to get help from a professional, OP needs to do what's in his best interest and start putting his needs first. He can't take care of himself or anyone else if he's suffering from malnutrition and an untrustworthy partner who's unwilling to help herself.
I'd be kicking her lazy a*s to the curb. She clearly doesn't love or respect the op. She definitely has the "But, I'm a princess" mentality.
That was in no way fat shaming. She needs help in every sense of the word. NTA.
She's stressed and eating. It happens and it sneaks up on you. Isn't she getting unemployment? That should bring in some money. Before she does anything, she should talk to a psychologist. The eating is soothing her pain. She may not even realize she's doing it, while she's eating. But that's out of control. She needs to find something that gets her out of the house. There are job postings everywhere you go now. Every store, restaurant, factory. But it won't happen by yelling at her. She may need professional help.
Yes but what about his stress levels? Where is his emotional support? I think he's supporting her a lot with patience for fitting the bills for 6 months while she does nothing but eat all the food.
Load More Replies... ETA, she can see that her actions are negatively affecting him and, if she is not in such a distinct mental breakdown to be unaware of her surroundings, she should try to seek help. however, it sounds like OP lost it on her after seeing these signs for a LONG time. these are very clear signs of depression and possibly an eating disorder to boot. from what OP has said, he encourages her to get a job or do more housework, but he does not encourage her to talk to family/friends/a doctor to get support. to react consistently like there isn't a root cause behind these actions and then kick her out while the symptoms are peak unbearable feels like too little too late. may not be applicable, but with the info we have, this sounds like it was put off until the last possible second.
He’s NTA, he’s starving. He’s HANGRY to the millionth power
Load More Replies... I'm not locking anything up at my house except the safe and the outside doors. She would have to go.
I say NTA-She's not doing anything to help pay for the bills or anything she's eating.She seems unwilling to get a job.I agree she seems to be depressed.I'm not sure the extra weight is helping anything and she doesn't seem to want to talk about it
Ummm...excuse me but how are you "taking advantage of her" after she lost her job?? And, she's not making much effort to find another job???? She's not your girlfriend anymore, she's a lazy, entitled roommate. Your not "fat shaming" her, you're pointing out her selfish gluttony. Time to reevaluate this relationship. Good luck.
I'm going to be completely blunt, and say that I don't blame him for saying that he hopes she's not pregnant when the question was asked. This woman, which I say loosely based on her behavior, can't be trusted to respect her BFs of 4 years boundaries, needs/wants, or to ensure he is well fed, or even half fed, while she only feeds herself on his dime. She puts herself and her needs above everything, I'd hate to see a child forced to eat scraps, while their mother gorges themselves, and lives off of government wellfare just because she has a kid.
It sounds like your GF is not only a bit depressed, but a lazy f*cking pig as well. If she wanted a job, she would have one. She is totally taking advantage of you.
Ok, I can say this because I'm a healthcare provider with experience treating people with mental health issues. Your GF is not AH. She is depressed. Her overeating and inability to hold a job are symptoms. Please sit down and kindly discuss this with her. Most people don't want to admit depression or anything to do with this because of the stigma. There is something in her past that ties her emotions to food. Now, for your will being, physical and emotional health, you need to consider what your future plans are with this woman. Sometimes love is not enough to sustain a relationship. This will be a LONG hard road for her and until she gets better you WILL have to (unfortunately) lock your food away. This is going to hurt her feelings and cause stress for both of you. This relationship may end. She is young enough to get past this if she is willing to do the work. I am not in a position to tell you how you feel or how dedicated you are so l won't advise you what to do.
Only you know how things were and what she was fully like before she was unemployed. Is it all a depression situation that wasn't there pre-unemployment or does she just have all day to give in to narcissistic, self indulgent tendencies she was exhibiting while she was employed as well. And eating all the food and letting the earner go hungry....that's kinda selfish, depressed or not.
She definitely needs therapy. It is hard to stay focused on a job or lean new things with a mental disorder that is flared. Step on would to go see about maybe going to the health department or calling 211 to see about free counseling. Step two is maybe doing a walking group with friends
The issue is deeper than just locking up the fridge. I sincerely believe this woman is suffering from depression, anxiety and a host of other issues revolving around her situation. Over indulgence in food is only one example of behaviours that temporarily fill that void. I'm confident that she's not doing it on purpose. Everyone deals with depression in different ways such as eating, drinking, drugs, sex or gambling. Depression rears it's ugly head in many ways that not only affects the individual, but, everyone involved. Until the depression is addressed and gets under control things won't change, they will get worse. PLEASE, if you love and care for this woman see that she seeks help. I promise once that issue is under control the rest will fall into place. I'm talking from experience. Depression does NOT get better on its own, it only progresses.
You're her partner, not her mother. If she wants to be catered to in this selfish way (and it is utter selfishness) she can move home with her parents. Keep seeing her, but i'd keep the relationship at arms length until she got her sh*t together and apologized for using you in this way. Depression is no excuse for this lazy self involvement she's descended into. I'd have broken up with her when the cupcakes happened, she's lost all respect for others at that point.
NTA, but I think he needs to try and suggest gf get some help/therapy, it sounds as if gf is using eating as a coping habit to deal with depression (i've been there and done that myself, it sucks, because then you do just, in my experience, end up feeling worse due to the weight you gain ;-; ) but she obviously can't keep literally eating him out of house and home, making OP go hungry because he can't afford to get extra food for himself, nor can he trust that anything he does get himself be left alone.
Nta. I think the gf is developing a serious ED and needs professional help ASAP. HOWEVER OP must preserve himself!
NTA. GF needs to be an "ex", and she should go live with a family member. Many of us have had career interruptions, and have taken jobs well below our skill level just to be able to pay the bills. We've all worked jobs we didn't like, but we kept a roof over our heads (and food) until we could get something better.
i would break up with her if shes still unemployed and eats everything, shes literally using the dude lol im sure she will work if they broke up
Coming from an overweight disabled person who is unable to work but still does all the chores, cooking and food stocking (ordering, I have moderate agoraphobia) - Not fat shaming, she's not trying to get a job, she's a leech, let her go. She makes people with real issues look as lazy as she is. Even with all my issues, I'll try doing cleaning jobs or ferrying jobs to earn money. But because I'm technically unemployed, I pick up all the house work and cooking, balance the bills, make sure everything is paid on time and generally make sure my husband *only* has to work. He comes home, he relaxes.
Definitely depression and eating disorder....speaking from personal experience, not professional. That does not give her the right to close herself off to her BF and outright neglect and abuse his needs repeatedly. She can plan meals and snacks ahead of time to curb things until she can afford medical aid. And a part time job is a great way to start out again! It is what I had to do. She can even try temp work. Point though she has to be willing to try. At this point the are dating, not married. If she does not openly discuss both their needs and how to address them, then she likely is not his forever relationship. Ending it so she can find the support network she needs would be the best thing for them both.
Who cares if you’re fat shaming her? Looks like she needs to feel shame…I mean, even eating birthday cakes for someone else? That’s just plain disrespectful.
One of the things that really bothers me...is that your working....but still doing 50% of the housework as well...all while starving. If she's not working...she should do all the housework, until she gets work, then I can go back to 50/50. Suggest this...and watch how fast she goes to get work. Also...it would get her moving nore, therefore loose some of the weight shes gained. As that seems to be a point of contention for her. I think she's projecting her own feelings of gained weight onto you. Seriousely though, if youre the only one working, she needs to pull more weight at home. She's the one taking advantage of your kindness. Whether she realizes it or not.
Jesus man. Kick her the f out. Pussy isn't that special, especially when it's 50 lbs heavier than when you met it. People need to harden the f up.
NTA if I ate food that wasn't mine my boyfriend would lose it too especially the subway because that's a treat for both of you. The fact she doesn't care if you starve despite you being the one working is very indicative of her feelings towards you right now. Even if you don't leave you need to put some distance so you can see if that changes anything
NTA.. but she obviously has a psychological problem. She's stress eating. In this case food is her only comfort. It's the only thing truly making her happy .. albeit short lived. She needs help. It would be good to reach out to her family or friend group and ask them to help you get her the help she needs... and if she doesn't want to seek help, then it's time for tough love and yiu need to rethink your relationship. Sounds like you're doing most of the heavy lifting in this one.
She might need mental help but clearly she's not likely going to seek it. Clearly she's stress eating from not working or some other issue but if she's stress eating from not working than the fact that she quit her job shortly after starting it means she's in an endless loop of lazyness and stress eating. Ultimately there's nothing anyone can do and you probably should cut the ties with her as long as your around she's going to keep repeating what she's doing and the only way out is to cut off any support she's receiving and maybe she'll finally get a wakeup call.
If she's eaten enough to gain 30lbs in six months she's not going to stop anytime soon unless OP gets a lockbox and sets an ultimatum.
This is a bit tough...sounds like she might have severe depression causing an eating disorder...while she shouldnt be eating things that are clearly not hers n you have a right to be frustrated with her, she also might not be able to help it if its a mental issue at foot. Id consider sitting her down n suggesting she see a therapist/doctor who might be able to give a better answer even solution to this
This is so incredibly frustrating to read. If your son was in a relationship like this what would you say to him? At the very least put a timer on it. I hope you don't wake up years from now wishing you had the time back
It's really simple. Eat out and stop bringing food home! If you have some compulsion to "feed" her out of compassion for someone who is selfish and lazy then go buy some really cheap discount items but nothing more than survival ration amounts. Tell her it's gotta last x many days then when she gorges herself and there's nothing left after about 10 minutes you must stick to your guns and refuse to cave in. I guarantee (if you're willing to persevere) that her attitude towards getting off her backside and finding work will change real quick. It may be hard to hear however you are actually enabling this poor behaviour from your gf. I dunno about your sex life (perhaps it's fantastic since you put up with this pita) but personally if I were you I would definitely kick her a*# to the curb cause she's using you and soon enough she will be clinically obese.
Why do I feel like her getting "laid off" was absolutely her fault too? If pouring coffees was too hard, do we think this person is ever going to hold down a steady job ever again, if she has BF to lean on instead? Time to start storing food outside the home until she feels she *needs* to work to eat. She'll either find a new job or a new BF, but either way, OP's starvation will end
NTA. I'd like to know what, if anything, the OP did. Stories like this make me wonder what is going on...
I'd like to know what he finally did, if anything. Stories like this really make me wonder what in the world is going on with some people.
I can understand what I call nervous eating as I experienced it myself during lockdown. I'm also chronically depressed, do that didn't help either. The reality of life is that it's not always the way we want it to be. "Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape." 😉 There are A LOT of volunteer opportunities out there, especially with non-profit organizations. A person can easily fill their week with a variety of volunteer opportunities. It's an excellent opportunity to keep busy and to be helpful. AND a person can meet people, learn new marketable skills, enhance one's resume, network. It's also quite possible to become gainfully employed as a result of volunteering. I suggest she check it out.
He needs to eat out and stop buying food for the house... pretty simple solution.
I wonder if OP has considered going vegan or plant based. I mean... Will she still eat it if it's quinoa and kale? Plant based diets are getting cheaper than those with meat. It might be a good time for a lifestyle change and if all that's available in the house is healthy foods I wonder if this would still be a problem.
He shouldn’t have to change his lifestyle for his inconsiderate gf. She needs to tighten up.
Load More Replies... Basically, she has gotten to the point that she feels so "secure" in the relationship, because it's a 4-year long relationship, that she's completely at ease treating him like her personal pantry stocker, who's not entitled to eat what he buys. In other words, at this point, he's the "help" though she's not paying him with money, and he is left with her scraps. And even then, those scraps are just lettuce and saltine crackers. Too many people are trying to pass this off as just due to depression or something similar. Someone who is depressed, regardless of gender, and who is stress eating does not go literally out of their way to eat things that are specifically requested to not be touched or are not meant for them in any way. This woman is beyond abusive, manipulative, and clearly does not respect her partner. He points out how he never gets to eat and she gaslights him by pretending that he's shaming her for her weight.
It's pathetic how in a post involving a woman eating everything with no regard for her partner, the overall consensus is stress eating, and she just needs help. In a post where the overeating partner is male and reacting the same exact way, the overall consensus would be mostly shaming him for being abusive and a manipulative gaslighter.
Load More Replies... You are NTA, either is she. She is depressed and grieving the loss of her job. She feels useless. My 36yo son lives with me. He works too. He eats everything in site. I buy foods for lunch and plan out my lunches for work. I buy in bulk too. He eat in bulk. I have found the only way to get food is to buy things he doesn't like. There is not much he dosent like.Money is not a big issue. I just hate having to go to the store so often. He buys a lot of junk food. I try not to eat too much of it. I have given up on juices and drinks. I just get them at the gas station when I want something.
Yeah, no. You need to do something about your situation, it’s very unhealthy.
Load More Replies... Seriously, throw her out. If she's on a lease, stop buying food, she will get the message. As he said she's not even trying, 6 months there is no way she's still collecting unemployment. She can get a job making sandwiches if she wants to eat. Time she starts acting like a responsible adult for once
As far as what is posted, NOBODY called the girlfriend fat. To claim that OP was fat shaming is BUĹLSHİT. Girlfriend is probably depressed because that is what happens when you sit around all day eating and not expending energy. She could get therapy, but the other thing that would solve this problem without involving medical professionals is GETTING A JOB!!!
NTA! OP needs to practice "tough love" on GF because she's literally eating him out of house and home! Start by giving her an ultimatum: get help, get a job or get out! She starts crying and claiming OP is "fat shaming"? Stand his ground and tell her to start finding a job somewhere, or leave!
I'm tired of people eating like pigs then crying "fat shaming". She's extremely rude and immature. She's not even trying to get a new job. She won't help out more around the house either. It's not depression it's laziness " no job is right" " Timmies was too hard"! Really!?! Send her home to Mommy she not ready to be an adult.
NTA. This is sounding horribly similar to my situation with an unwanted tenant. Hubs thought having a tenant would help us with the bills...long story short, she screamed at us for the dumbest c**p daily (I got yelled at for eating my own food and for coming home from work/ leaving for work) and refused to even pay for bills yet would scream at us for not having money for stuff after demanding to be taken out to eat almost daily. She would get the most expensive thing on the menu, take two bites, bring it home and let it rot in the fridge if I didn't feed it to her kid before then. But had no problem eating everything other than her leftover food. She would steal my son's diapers/pullups and our dog food/cat food/litter, even ate cupcakes I bought to try without leaving me one. I can completely sympathize! Why not try and ask her to leave you some food? I always left some food for hubs when we were tight on food, even when I was pregnant.
This sounds like major depression. My sister is like this. She can and will go months without being motivated to do anything but eat. However, she would never eat someone else's birthday cake. That's an ahole move and the gf is making it seem like her bf is the problem. He needs to ask her why she thinks it's even remotely ok for him to go to work hungry. If he does any sort of manual labor, even if he's a fry cook, he could get seriously injured.
Curious- does she smoke a lot of weed? That fact that he has asked her to not eat him out of house and home time and again and still does it. She obviously has issues. Passive-aggressiveness? He needs to dump her or at least try counseling.
NTA: she’s TA. 1. Eating everything in the house and leaving you with nothing for days is inappropriate. 2. You’ve peacefully had this discussion with her and it is still continuing. 3. You asked her not to eat your sisters birthday cake and did it anyways(this… this right here was done on purpose) 4. Everyone is saying this is an eating disorder. It’s not. This is gluttony at its finest. 5. Says it’s out of depression but refuses to get a job, I suffer from depression, CPTSD, anxiety, dyslexia(which is embarrassing) and have 2 jobs… 2 jobs… she doesn’t want to because she knows you’ll take care of her. 6. Then she tells you that your fat shaming her for asking her to stop eating so much, not to stop eating but to stop eating so much. Honestly, all I’m seeing is abuse.
BTH Sounds like you guys are barely making it yet you're eating subs. I hope not subway because for the price of 2 subs I could get a good bit of food at Walmart. Also you should qualify for assistance you can get help with this stuff don't starve each other to death. If she's hungry she's f*****g hungry. I hate people that give people a hard time for being hungry a lot. I have an ulcer and I have to eat often or I get a burning sensation in my stomach that's agony. That's so stupid. How about instead of yelling at her you go to a food bank and get help that's what they're there for. She needs to get a job but you don't have to starve or make her go hungry. You guys both are awful because she's inconsiderate and you're just dumb for not getting any kind of assistance. Also she could be depressed but she could also be pregnant and if she's pregnant you need to make sure she eats as much as she wants. If she's depressed she needs therapy not being yelled at. Poorly handled by everyone.
If you don't feel comfortable locking up your food (I know how it is, I'm currently locking up my food and other items) then just don't buy groceries anymore. Go get food for yourself, or grab something quick on your way to work. Don't buy food for the house, you don't have kids. Tell her you can't afford it to all go to waste in a day, and that if she needs food in the house she's gonna have to start bringing in the income for it. I've also had to do this. It was the only thing that would work to get the lazy m**o off his a$$. He went 4 days with nothing in the house before he got a job. I was kinda hoping he would just leave lol but didn't work that way. It's a shame when ppl we really care about show that they really don't give a rats a$$ about us in return by doing these things. Then they just make excuses saying they are stressed, and nothing's right for them. Let her be hungry a few days. Might change her mind.
Or just leave? There are 8 BILLION people, why put up with an a*****e?
Load More Replies... What part of walk away are you not getting? Stop sleeping with her before she does get pregnant. She would probably drink her own breast milk. It will never get better.
She is going to leave you bcuz you have proven to her that you are a puss, not a man. And just how small IS your fridge? Really, you can't come up with a solution all by yourself? You have to ask a million strangers if you are an a*****e? You deserve what you are getting. You aren't an a*****e but what are you? 12?
BOTH are a******s. Does not sound like there's that much love there. The woman is STRESS-EATING; he's FREAKING OUT at being the only provider; they're not supporting each other emotionally, at all. Being his girlfriend, and not his wife, she can file for SNAP i.e. EBT, until she gets a job that's commensurate with her skills. But fighting over food? That's beyond the pale.
No. She isnt supporting him. For christ sake she ate the birthday present for his sister and act like its nothing. She is a pure narcissistic who doesnt want to do anything, but wants everything.
Load More Replies... No. You dont need understanding for someone who jas no care for you. He tried talking to her and she blew him off. All the while he is working to support them, but can barely eat cause she shows no care.
Load More Replies... Maybe if you read it properly you could have seen the but where he's tried to talk about it but she shuts him down. He's saying that it's disgusting that he's paying for all the food and gets none of it. And yeah, it does sound like she's suffering with depression. I suffered with depression for years before I was diagnosed. I pissed so many people off because I was in denial. I pushed people away. Did dumb things to make people angry. I look back on that and this yeah, I was depressed. But I didn't do anything about it. And all the people who went NC with me deserved better. Sometimes we need to take responsibility even if we are suffering with mental health. Too many people use it as an excuse to get away with things.
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