This Story About A First Date Going Off The Rails Is Exactly Why Dating Is More Difficult Than It Needs To Be

“Getting yourself out there” often involves going on at least a few bad dates. Normally, this ends with an awkward goodbye and then both parties simply never messaging each other ever again. But some people feel that’s not enough and will go to bizarre lengths to get out of it.

A woman asked the internet if she was wrong to block a guy who, on their first date, decided that faking a family emergency was a good way to get out of it. When she called him out on it later, he claimed it was a test. We reached out to her via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

There are a lot of things that can go wrong on a first date

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But one woman was unpleasantly surprised when her date got a call about his mom

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Image credits: Camandona / Freepik (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Yunus Tuğ / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

First dates tend to be awkward

Navigating the modern dating scene often feels like walking through a minefield. However, there is a distinct difference between a date that simply lacks chemistry and one that veers into the territory of psychological warfare. When a first meeting shifts from a pleasant exchange of anecdotes to a series of calculated maneuvers you’re witnessing the dissolution of basic social decency. While most people look for common interests or shared values, savvy daters have learned to keep an eye out for “the vibe shift,” that moment when the person across from you stops being a potential partner and starts being a performance artist.

One of the most glaring indicators that a date is heading south is the introduction of a “test.” In healthy dynamics, trust and character are built over time through consistent, honest interactions. When someone bypasses this organic process to stage a simulated crisis or emotional stress test, assuming they are actually “testing,” it’s normally a sign that they have some strange ideas about dating. These tactics are often rooted in deep-seated insecurities or a desire for control. The moment a date manufactures an emergency, whether it’s a fake phone call about a collapsed relative or a staged disagreement, they have signaled that they value their own sense of security over your emotional well-being. This kind of behavior is a hallmark of manipulative personality traits that usually escalate long after the bill is paid.

Another subtle but significant sign of a failing date is “calculated smoothness.” We often praise people for being charming, but there is a specific brand of charisma that feels scripted, almost as if the person is reciting lines from a pickup artist handbook rather than engaging in a real conversation. If the responses are too perfect, the timing too precise, and the flattery too frequent, it can indicate a lack of authenticity. Real human connection is messy, it involves stutters, pauses, and the occasional awkward laugh. When someone is “always on,” they might be masking a highly defensive or narcissistic personality that cannot handle the vulnerability of a genuine interaction.

Image credits: Mary Taylor / Pexels (not the actual photo)

There are really no reasons to trust what this man had to say

The way a person handles the end of a date is perhaps the ultimate reveal of their character. In a standard “bad date” scenario, two adults might realize the spark isn’t there, finish their coffee, and go their separate ways with a polite text. However, when a date goes truly off the rails, the exit strategy often involves gaslighting. If you find yourself being told you are “overreacting” or “failing a test” simply because you reacted with human empathy to a fake tragedy, you are dealing with a classic gaslighting technique. This is designed to make you doubt your own perceptions and morality, shifting the blame from the liar to the person who was lied to. It is a massive red flag that suggests the person is incapable of taking accountability for their actions.

Furthermore, the “social media slip-up” has become the modern era’s greatest truth-teller. In an age where people feel the need to document their every move, the disparity between what someone says in person and what they post online can be jarring. Finding out that a “family emergency” was actually a “happy hour” via an Instagram story is just a display of total disrespect for your time and intelligence. It shows a person who is so comfortable with deception that they don’t even bother to cover their tracks.

A good first date should be a low-stakes exploration of compatibility. If it starts feeling like an interrogation, a stage play, or a loyalty test, the best move is the one that leads directly to the exit. Trusting your gut, that sinking feeling in your stomach when a story doesn’t add up, is the most powerful tool you have. You aren’t “failing a test” by walking away from someone who plays games, you are passing the most important test of all: the one where you choose to respect yourself.

Some readers thought the man’s “plan” was unhinged

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