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Sooner or later, there comes a time when a couple can no longer just go with the flow and must decide what to do next. If you’ve watched FRIENDS, you should remember the calamity Ross and Mona found themselves in after they reached this point.
Reddit user MortifiedRat and his girlfriend got there in three months. She then presented him with a list of her non-negotiables. Things kept escalating, and they eventually broke up over money. Unsure about the way he navigated the situation and whether he should’ve held onto her, the guy explained his case on the internet and asked everyone to weigh in with their opinions.
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This guy was hitting it off with his new girlfriend
Image credits: farknot / freepik (not the actual photo)
But then, she issued him an ultimatum
Image credits: showtimeag / freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman doubled down on her demands and they broke up
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / freepik (not the actual photo)
After his story went viral, the guy updated his original post
Image credits: MortifiedRat
And answered people’s biggest questions
Money is a common trigger in relationships, but couples usually find common ground
Even though our Redditor’s case is a pretty distinct one, an Ipsos poll from 2024 reveals that one in three (34%) partnered Americans view money as a source of conflict in their relationship, a figure that rises to almost half (47%) among the youngest romantically committed respondents (18–24-year-olds).
More than one-third think their partner spends too much money on impulse purchases (37%) and/or admit they are untruthful about money with their spouse (36%), which may also be driving some of this conflict. Half (49%) of Americans more generally confess they often spend more than they know they should.
It’s also noteworthy that younger Americans tend to be a little more untruthful about money with their spouse, on average (18–24: 46%; 25–34: 43%).
Despite the occasional money fight, however, the vast majority (84%) of American couples are on the same page with their partner when it comes to finances in general, with almost nine in ten (87%) indicating that they are comfortable discussing finances with their partner. When evaluating their partner’s finances, Americans say they are (or would be) most concerned about their partner’s mortgage debt (41%), followed by credit card debt (36%) and credit scores (35%).
Image credits: EyeEm / freepik (not the actual photo)
You can’t build a future together without shared values and common goals
The Redditor claimed he had deep conversations with his girlfriend before the whole ordeal, but according to Damona Hoffman, host of The Dates & Mates Podcast, it’s only when couples get to the nitty-gritty of personal finance that they fully reveal their goals and values.
“You’re unlikely to be perfectly aligned on those [goals and values], but discussing them offers you an opportunity to understand your partner and find compromise on those important choices,” she said.
These values are formed long before you earn your first dollar. Everyone’s “money story” starts in childhood, and since we’re all raised differently, how we think about and understand finances can vary significantly from person to person, depending on many factors, including the example our family sets for us.
Regardless of our upbringing and how difficult these discussions might be, it’s incredibly beneficial for the relationship to talk about money. Yes, our Redditor had a sour breakup, but at least he and his girlfriend learned they were incompatible earlier rather than later.
Most who read the story said the guy didn’t do anything wrong
But a few said the breakup was his fault
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What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 12 hours ago
That last YTA is extra-unhinged. There's no hinges on it at all, in fact. If both people work (and OP did say the ex has a job) WHY is it OP's responsibility to provide his significant other's "fun money"/allowance? If you don't make enough money to provide your OWN "fun money", you don't get to do "fun money" things. You don't DEMAND 10% of your significant other's income in order to have your nails done. (Not that the ex said that was what she was going to be doing; I'm conjecturing based on that last YTA comment.)
Ace 11 hours ago
Not only unhinged but not even in the doorway. Starts with the assumption that she meant something completely different from what she said and goes downhill from there. Although in principle I agree with a simple 'everything is shared' approach, it doesn't need to have all these percentages and conditions attached.
Load More Replies...
Alexia 11 hours ago (edited)
Let's notice the subtle insult: she stated she'd never trust a man to provide for her, and that includes the OP. A healthy relationship is based on mutual trust. If you don't trust someone, why would you have a relationship (let alone a marriage) with them? Ah, for a percentage of their income, yeah - that makes sense. She needs help in terms of trauma therapy - and I say this as someone with CPTSD who underwent years of such therapy. The YTA-comentators are cringe, especially the last one.
KatSaidThat 12 hours ago
Gsus - they are three MONTHS into a relationship and she's trying to take his income? Get out, now.
Vinnie 9 hours ago
On the plus side, she cut to the chase quickly and left fast.
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 12 hours ago
That last YTA is extra-unhinged. There's no hinges on it at all, in fact. If both people work (and OP did say the ex has a job) WHY is it OP's responsibility to provide his significant other's "fun money"/allowance? If you don't make enough money to provide your OWN "fun money", you don't get to do "fun money" things. You don't DEMAND 10% of your significant other's income in order to have your nails done. (Not that the ex said that was what she was going to be doing; I'm conjecturing based on that last YTA comment.)
Ace 11 hours ago
Not only unhinged but not even in the doorway. Starts with the assumption that she meant something completely different from what she said and goes downhill from there. Although in principle I agree with a simple 'everything is shared' approach, it doesn't need to have all these percentages and conditions attached.
Load More Replies... Alexia 11 hours ago (edited)
Let's notice the subtle insult: she stated she'd never trust a man to provide for her, and that includes the OP. A healthy relationship is based on mutual trust. If you don't trust someone, why would you have a relationship (let alone a marriage) with them? Ah, for a percentage of their income, yeah - that makes sense. She needs help in terms of trauma therapy - and I say this as someone with CPTSD who underwent years of such therapy. The YTA-comentators are cringe, especially the last one.
KatSaidThat 12 hours ago
Gsus - they are three MONTHS into a relationship and she's trying to take his income? Get out, now.
Vinnie 9 hours ago
On the plus side, she cut to the chase quickly and left fast.
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