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Man Refuses To Turn His Baby Into Stepmom Memorial Using Her Name, Gets Blasted By Furious Relatives
Pregnant woman and partner interact warmly by a large window, symbolizing family and grandbaby as a sign from late wife.

Man Refuses To Turn His Baby Into Stepmom Memorial Using Her Name, Gets Blasted By Furious Relatives

Interview With Expert

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Naming a baby should be fun, like picking out a cute onesie, but for their whole identity. But somewhere between honoring Grandma Mildred and avoiding names that sound like a failed skincare brand, it turns into a real family drama.

Everyone suddenly becomes a baby name consultant—grandparents, cousins, and even the neighbor’s cat groomer seems to have an opinion.

And that’s exactly what one Redditor had to deal with when his very pushy, grieving dad demanded he name his baby after his late wife, who he never even liked.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Grief has many stages, but apparently the final one is hijacking your grandkid’s name

    Cluster of white and purple flowers blooming at a graveyard symbolizing grandbaby seen as a sign from late wife.

    Image credits: Pixabay / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    One dad-to-be refuses to name his baby after his late stepmom, who he never liked, despite being pressured by his dad and half-siblings

    Text about a dad seeing grandbaby as a sign from his late wife and opposing naming the child after her.

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    Text describing a dad seeing his grandbaby as a sign from his late wife and demanding the son name him after her.

    Text excerpt about a dad wanting his grandbaby named after his late wife, but son refuses quickly.

    Young couple smiling and holding hands while discussing dad seeing grandbaby as a sign from late wife at home.

    Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    The man and his wife announce they are expecting their first baby just a few weeks after his’s dad’s wife of 20 years passes away

    Text excerpt discussing a dad demanding his son name his grandbaby after late wife, but son rejects the idea firmly.

    Text on white background stating a father sees grandbaby as a sign from late wife and disagrees with naming demand.

    Text about honoring late mom through grandbaby’s name, dad views grandbaby as sign from late wife, disagrees with name choice.

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    Dad and son sharing a moment by a large window, reflecting on grandbaby as a sign from late wife and naming conflict.

    Image credits: Toa Heftiba / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

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    The man’s dad and his teenage half-siblings try to force the dad-to-be to name his baby after his late stepmom

    Text image showing a statement about refusing to choose his son's wife's name for their grandbaby.

    Text about a dad seeing grandbaby as a sign from late wife and son rejecting naming demand.

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    Text excerpt showing a son rejecting his dad’s demand to name his child after late wife, reflecting family naming conflict.

    Man in glasses and a red turtleneck expressing strong emotions while discussing grandbaby as a sign from late wife.

    Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    The man gets labeled an insensitive jerk for not giving into his dad’s demands of naming his first baby after his late wife

    Text excerpt discussing family tension after coming out, highlighting a dad's reaction about grandbaby and naming demands.

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    Text about a dad ranting to relatives insisting his grandbaby be named after late wife, but the son shuts it down fast.

    Text post asking if the person is wrong for firmly rejecting dad’s demand to name grandbaby after late wife.

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    The man refuses to name his baby after his dad’s late wife, and chooses to honor his own mom by naming his daughter after her favorite flower

    The OP (original poster) and his wife announced they were expecting their first baby, just a few weeks after his dad’s wife of 20 years had passed away. A tragic loss, no doubt. So, the OP’s dad and his 3 half-siblings, all teenagers, immediately decided this baby was a divine sign—the universe’s way of saying, “Hey, name this baby after your dearly departed stepmom.”

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    First name, middle name, or heck, even a boy version if it’s a son. The OP’s dad practically handed him a nameplate and said, “Don’t fight destiny, son.” But the OP wasn’t on board. At all. He told his dad that his late wife was not his mom. He only had one mom, who sadly passed away when he was just a kid.

    So, the OP and his wife decided to instead honor his own late mother in a more subtle and meaningful way by naming their daughter after a flower she loved. Sweet, right? Thoughtful even! But OP knows his dad will see right through it—and the fact that the name won’t honor his late wife is apparently a huge insult.

    When the OP decided to go full “line in the sand” mode, with no polite refusals, and no vague replies, the family flipped out. Now he’s being called insensitive and cold-hearted. His dad is ranting about, completely ignoring the fact that the OP literally says he didn’t even like her that much, so, of course he’s not going to name his baby after her. Because naming a baby is a very personal choice, not a family group project.

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    Man in blue shirt showing emotional distress, reflecting on grandbaby as a sign from late wife in a dimly lit room.

    Image credits: Gül Işık / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    To find out more about this topic, Bored Panda reached out to Taylor A. Humphrey, a seasoned baby-naming consultant at What’s in a Baby Name. She shared insights on how modern parents are redefining what it means to give a name that truly resonates.

    When it comes to choosing a name, Humphrey emphasizes that emotional connection should take center stage. While it’s common for parents to consider the name’s meaning, family history, or cultural significance, the most important factor is how the name makes them feel when they say it aloud.

    “When you say the name: does it spark joy? Does your heart feel happy, calm, excited, bursting with pride? Do you experience an inner sense of truth and peace? Does the name simply feel right? These are helpful indications that you’ve found the right name for your baby,” Humphrey explained.

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    Interestingly, Humphrey believes there’s no such thing as a mistake in baby naming. The process is highly personal, and as long as the choice holds meaning for the parents, it’s the right one. This mindset helps take the pressure off and allows for more creativity and freedom during the decision-making process.

    We asked Humphrey how parents can pay tribute to a loved one without using their exact name. She had plenty of imaginative suggestions. One is to turn a relative’s last name into a first name, which adds a stylish, modern twist. Another is to draw inspiration from the person’s initials or create a variant that still carries the emotional weight—like using a diminutive, nickname, or the original name’s meaning to spark a fresh idea.

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    “For example, if you had a Grandma Ethel Hayes, or a Grandpa Eugene Dutton, you might opt for Hayes or Dutton. Surnames-As-First Names can be strong, gender-neutral options that work for either gender,” she explained.

    When it comes to naming a child after a loved one who passed away, Humphrey considers this one of the most powerful decisions a parent can make. While some cultures welcome this tradition and others shy away from it, she believes that a name can serve as a beautiful tribute and emotional bridge between generations.

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    We were also curious about trends in modern baby naming, and Humphrey confirmed that nature-inspired names are having a moment. Instead of strictly sticking to family names, many parents now choose names that reflect their values, aspirations, or even their connection to the natural world. Names like River, Wren, and Sage aren’t just trendy—they represent a deeper desire for serenity, renewal, and harmony.

    What do you think of this story? Should the poster name his baby after his late stepmom? Drop your thoughts and comments below!

    Netizens side with the man, saying he is not a jerk for choosing to honor his biological mom instead of his stepmom

    Screenshot of a Reddit conversation discussing a dad seeing his grandbaby as a sign from his late wife and a naming dispute.

    Man sets boundary after dad demands son name grandbaby after late wife, protecting family's emotional space.

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    Reddit conversation about dad seeing grandbaby as sign from late wife and his demand to name the baby after her being rejected.

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    Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a dad demanding his son name the grandbaby after his late wife and being shut down quickly.

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    Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a dad seeing grandbaby as a sign from late wife and naming conflict with son.

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    Reddit comment about dad wanting son to name grandbaby after late wife and son firmly refusing the request.

    Comment text on a social media post debating naming a grandbaby after late wife, and the father's strong reaction.

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    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

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    Monica Selvi

    Monica Selvi

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi! I'm Moni. I’m a globetrotting creative with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other. I’ve lived in 4 different countries, an visited 17, soaking up inspiration wherever I go. A marketer by trade but a writer at heart, I’ve been crafting stories, poems, and songs, and creating quirky characters since I was 7.

    What do you think ?
    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another story where there really is no argument. Parents name their children, no-one else gets a say (although I know some countries have limits). Move on.

    marcelo D.
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    must be nice living in a world were people don't make everything about them when is not about them, but most of us don't live in that utopic world.

    Load More Replies...
    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Naming a child is nobody's business but the parents. Everyone else needs to keep their noses out of it.

    Shannon Donnelly
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The audacity of people when it comes to how much their opinions should matter when it comes to naming other people’s children never fails to boggle my mind. If you want to name something or someone so badly, have your own child or adopt a pet or even a plant. But what gives people the right to think they get to name someone’s child???

    Load More Replies...
    Vinnie
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The father refers to the baby as a gift from his late wife because of the timing. What if his father starts to imagine that the baby is the reincarnation of his wife? Grieving people sometimes have unusual thoughts and actions, but forcing the issue goes well beyond seeing small signs of the spirits of the dead or spending a few bucks trying to contact the dead. Those can be part of the grieving process, but it's wrong to turn a baby into a shrine.

    Sarah Belt
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could see it escalating to this, especially given the whole side of the family's bizarre obsession with the idea. My money is on them calling the baby by the late wife's name anyway. Good thing OP is so forceful on this from the start.

    Load More Replies...
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The test of questions like this is to turn it around on the ones doing the asking. Therefore, OP should ask Dad and the half-siblings how they would feel if OP tried to coerce them into naming their child after HIS mother—-the woman their dad was also married to at one point, but who was not THEIR mother? You know damned well that would go over like a lead ballon with them, and they would ask the same “Why would I name my child after someone I not only am not related to, but who I also don’t (like/know/care about, take your pick)?” as OP did.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look, OP's dad is still grieving the death of his wife. I get that. That's legitimate. But that's where the sympathy ends; OP's dad does not get any more grace beyond empathy for losing his wife. OP's dad's wife was NOT OP's mother. Dad's wife had three children (presumably with OP's dad since OP refers to them as half-siblings) who can honor their dad's wife with tribute-names if any of them choose to have children in the future. It's incredibly sad, but I think OP is about to "lose" their father over this, so to speak, after already losing their mother as a child.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The father might also lose his son and grandchild over his complicated grief.

    Load More Replies...
    Lyoness
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did this not stop at "We aren't doing that Dad/sibling and that's final." If there's a repeat question, "We've already told you our answer and we won't discuss this again." Add an "I'm not going to talk about this." And do it every time they bring it up, on repeat. We had an issue like this with a parent and it took a month or so but they finally realised no meant no.

    Boo
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The way that OP's father and half-siblings are behaving, I don't think that method would work. They don't seem to be the types to let go of this or accept OP's no. Some people are like dogs with a bone....they aren't going to give it up.

    Load More Replies...
    Orysha
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Your baby, your choice".

    Sue Ellen
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd just tell them that the actual children of stepmom should have more claim to the name for their own future children and Stepmom would have wanted it that way.

    jasper
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG, people seriously need to f* the h* off when it comes to other people's children. I don't understand this at all. My kid. Not yours. You have NO say. Period.

    Kristen Woehlke
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wasn't fond of your wife, who wasn't my mother! Why would I name my child in any way shape or form after her to remind me of someone I wasn't fond of??

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A gift from the step mother , NO , ITS A GIFT FRIM HIS REAL MUM !! end off , I lost my mum when I was a baby to 8 mth old n the father (his fault she died ) re married when I was two , I hated her ! thankfully didn’t live with them , n if I’d been asked to do this then hell no !!! !!!! Bang outta order they,ve got three other kids , they can make their kids after her , I’m also a step mother n I’d NEVER ask them to do this either !! I guess father dearest won’t wanna see his first grandchild then 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️. NTA OP n congrats on the new trial x

    Sara Shamsabadi
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just don't understand how someone setting a clear boundary of theirs in a respectful way is grounds for a debate?!

    Day Andie
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No is a complete sentence. After that, there needs to be no more discussion. Cut it off. I'd tell them they're about to become no contact if the harassment continues. And as far as their flying monkeys, tell them to butt out and *they* can name their next child, grandchild, dog, or houseplant that woman's name if it matters so much to them.

    Robin Roper
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am so glad my family is not crazy like these people. Parents get to name their children, and we hope they chose a name that isn't awful. If they do, still no one else gets and an opinion.

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly. My brother and his wife had originally picked out a weird name for my niece. We didn't like it, but it's 100% their choice and our opinion didn't matter. They ended up choosing a different one, after a late relative, and it suits her perfectly.

    Load More Replies...
    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your baby, your choice and like you said she had kids and 1 of them can use her name. You didn't really like her and they can all just get over themselves.

    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another story where there really is no argument. Parents name their children, no-one else gets a say (although I know some countries have limits). Move on.

    marcelo D.
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    must be nice living in a world were people don't make everything about them when is not about them, but most of us don't live in that utopic world.

    Load More Replies...
    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Naming a child is nobody's business but the parents. Everyone else needs to keep their noses out of it.

    Shannon Donnelly
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The audacity of people when it comes to how much their opinions should matter when it comes to naming other people’s children never fails to boggle my mind. If you want to name something or someone so badly, have your own child or adopt a pet or even a plant. But what gives people the right to think they get to name someone’s child???

    Load More Replies...
    Vinnie
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The father refers to the baby as a gift from his late wife because of the timing. What if his father starts to imagine that the baby is the reincarnation of his wife? Grieving people sometimes have unusual thoughts and actions, but forcing the issue goes well beyond seeing small signs of the spirits of the dead or spending a few bucks trying to contact the dead. Those can be part of the grieving process, but it's wrong to turn a baby into a shrine.

    Sarah Belt
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could see it escalating to this, especially given the whole side of the family's bizarre obsession with the idea. My money is on them calling the baby by the late wife's name anyway. Good thing OP is so forceful on this from the start.

    Load More Replies...
    Tabitha
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The test of questions like this is to turn it around on the ones doing the asking. Therefore, OP should ask Dad and the half-siblings how they would feel if OP tried to coerce them into naming their child after HIS mother—-the woman their dad was also married to at one point, but who was not THEIR mother? You know damned well that would go over like a lead ballon with them, and they would ask the same “Why would I name my child after someone I not only am not related to, but who I also don’t (like/know/care about, take your pick)?” as OP did.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look, OP's dad is still grieving the death of his wife. I get that. That's legitimate. But that's where the sympathy ends; OP's dad does not get any more grace beyond empathy for losing his wife. OP's dad's wife was NOT OP's mother. Dad's wife had three children (presumably with OP's dad since OP refers to them as half-siblings) who can honor their dad's wife with tribute-names if any of them choose to have children in the future. It's incredibly sad, but I think OP is about to "lose" their father over this, so to speak, after already losing their mother as a child.

    Vinnie
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The father might also lose his son and grandchild over his complicated grief.

    Load More Replies...
    Lyoness
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did this not stop at "We aren't doing that Dad/sibling and that's final." If there's a repeat question, "We've already told you our answer and we won't discuss this again." Add an "I'm not going to talk about this." And do it every time they bring it up, on repeat. We had an issue like this with a parent and it took a month or so but they finally realised no meant no.

    Boo
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The way that OP's father and half-siblings are behaving, I don't think that method would work. They don't seem to be the types to let go of this or accept OP's no. Some people are like dogs with a bone....they aren't going to give it up.

    Load More Replies...
    Orysha
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Your baby, your choice".

    Sue Ellen
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd just tell them that the actual children of stepmom should have more claim to the name for their own future children and Stepmom would have wanted it that way.

    jasper
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG, people seriously need to f* the h* off when it comes to other people's children. I don't understand this at all. My kid. Not yours. You have NO say. Period.

    Kristen Woehlke
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wasn't fond of your wife, who wasn't my mother! Why would I name my child in any way shape or form after her to remind me of someone I wasn't fond of??

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A gift from the step mother , NO , ITS A GIFT FRIM HIS REAL MUM !! end off , I lost my mum when I was a baby to 8 mth old n the father (his fault she died ) re married when I was two , I hated her ! thankfully didn’t live with them , n if I’d been asked to do this then hell no !!! !!!! Bang outta order they,ve got three other kids , they can make their kids after her , I’m also a step mother n I’d NEVER ask them to do this either !! I guess father dearest won’t wanna see his first grandchild then 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️. NTA OP n congrats on the new trial x

    Sara Shamsabadi
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just don't understand how someone setting a clear boundary of theirs in a respectful way is grounds for a debate?!

    Day Andie
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No is a complete sentence. After that, there needs to be no more discussion. Cut it off. I'd tell them they're about to become no contact if the harassment continues. And as far as their flying monkeys, tell them to butt out and *they* can name their next child, grandchild, dog, or houseplant that woman's name if it matters so much to them.

    Robin Roper
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am so glad my family is not crazy like these people. Parents get to name their children, and we hope they chose a name that isn't awful. If they do, still no one else gets and an opinion.

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly. My brother and his wife had originally picked out a weird name for my niece. We didn't like it, but it's 100% their choice and our opinion didn't matter. They ended up choosing a different one, after a late relative, and it suits her perfectly.

    Load More Replies...
    Beth Wheeler
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your baby, your choice and like you said she had kids and 1 of them can use her name. You didn't really like her and they can all just get over themselves.

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