Guy Discovers What’s On His GF’s Laptop That She “Guards With Her Life”

Trust is the foundation of every relationship, and the slightest chink in that armor can cause everything to crumble. It could be much worse if that broken trust happened after unveiling a distressing secret. 

A man had been with his girlfriend for six months when he stumbled upon her “blackmail folder.” What bothered him the most was seeing his initials in one of the files.

His discovery has left him paranoid, and he fears she may intrude on his privacy. He now asks the Reddit community for some sane advice. 

Broken trust can cause irreparable damage to a relationship

Woman in a plaid blazer stands with arms crossed, looking out of a window, contemplating something private on her laptop.

Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels (not the actual photo)

A man had been with his girlfriend for six months with no issue until it all changed one day

Text conversation about a blackmail folder on girlfriend's computer.

Text about a guy and girlfriend's personality differences and her work challenges.

Text about control and decision-making, related to a guy's surprise about his girlfriend's laptop.

Man in striped pajamas looking shocked while using a laptop, expression of surprise.

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

He stumbled upon his significant other’s “blackmail folder” with his initials in one of the files, leaving him in a confused state

Text message revealing a shocking discovery on girlfriend's guarded laptop, mentioning a blackmail folder.

Text discussing shocking laptop contents kept private by girlfriend.

Text discussing a guy's concerns about his girlfriend's guarded laptop and potential privacy violations.

Image credits: ThrowRA_littlepatkaa

Image credits: Anna Shvets / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Dark secrets are borne from deep shame

The girlfriend may also be embarrassed by having a blackmail folder and likely feels the burden of hiding it. 

“If someone is experiencing shame or fear, they create an internal marketplace for secrets,” NYC-based psychologist Dr. Nando Pelusi tells Psychology Today. 

Columbia University professor Michael Slepian also brings up an important point: keeping a secret, especially one that could shatter your image with a loved one, depletes your mental resources and eventually drains you. 

“(If we feel depleted), other things out there in the world seem to require more effort,” Slepian explains. “That lowers our motivation to take on tasks.”

Apart from her personal issues, the woman may have suffered greatly because she kept a secret blackmail folder. On top of that, her boyfriend no longer trusts her enough to feel secure in their relationship. 

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Rebuilding trust means creating a brand-new relationship

The author still seems open to carrying on with the relationship. However, rebuilding that broken trust could mean starting from scratch. 

“Once trust has been broken, the old relationship cannot exist anymore,” licensed marriage and family therapist Elisa Blair, LMFT, explained in an article for her site.

Step one is accepting the possibility of getting hurt again, which Blair recognizes as a tall and challenging task. However, it’s about telling yourself everything will be fine if it happens. 

Healing will happen over time, including the trust issues caused by betrayal. However, it requires a lot of hard work. Blair recommends individual and couples therapy as tools for processing difficult emotions. 

“The very foundation of your relationship needs to be rebuilt. Therefore, it is a new relationship. Just like a new house after a terrible termite infestation,” Blair wrote. 

The author has two choices: confront his girlfriend about the folder and persuade her to fix things through therapy, or leave the relationship and move on. The worst thing he can do is ignore the problem and sweep it under the rug. 

Commenters didn’t hold back with their advice

Text advice about breaking up due to vengeful behavior found on girlfriend's laptop.

Comment discussing dramatic reaction to discovering contents on girlfriend's laptop.

Screenshot of a comment advising someone to copy a folder, delete it, end the relationship, and block the girlfriend.

Reddit comment discussing a girlfriend's laptop and advice to end the relationship.

Comment questioning moral character and attitude of GF.

Comment on a shocking discovery related to a girlfriend's laptop secrets.

Guy receives shocking advice about girlfriend's laptop, suggesting caution and protection after a surprising discovery.

Reddit comment about a girlfriend's laptop, suggesting to carefully plan a breakup.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment reacting to a shocking discovery on a girlfriend's guarded laptop.

Internet user's comment reacting to shocking laptop discovery by a guy about his girlfriend.

Comment sharing advice on discovering shocking laptop contents.

Comment responding to a shocking laptop discovery involving a girlfriend.

Comment on shocking laptop discovery, advising a restraining order.

Text exchange about girlfriend guarding her laptop, suggesting caution.

Comment discussing handling sensitive situations related to personal secrets.

Reddit user comment about shocking laptop discovery in relationship context.

Comment reaction to shocking discovery on girlfriend's guarded laptop, calling it crazy behavior.

Others shared similar experiences

Reddit comment about someone's negative experience with a friend, related to a shocking laptop discovery.

Text screenshot discussing a shocking middle school friend's behavior and secrets uncovered.

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