“Two Fronts Formed”: A Man’s Absence From A Wedding Causes Chaos, As The Reason He Didn’t Attend Splits The Family
The truth shall set you free, but it might also cause a great deal of infighting among those close to you. This was the experience of one internet user who wanted to detail the time being honest and ended up causing quite a stir.
A man shared his chaotic experience with texting his family after not being invited to his brother’s wedding. His sister-in-law-to-be had a somewhat traditional family that wouldn’t approve of a male guest bringing their boyfriend, so OP was asked to stay home. Not wanting to cause a stir, he complied, only to get confused texts from his parents asking him where he was. So he decided to tell them exactly why he couldn’t come.
Being truthful is almost always the right choice, but people might not always take information well
Image credits: Renate Vanaga (not the actual photo)
A man told his family why he wasn’t at his brother’s wedding and caused a massive argument
Some of his family thought the brother was out of line, and quickly two sides had formed
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia (not the actual photo)
Image source: Charming_Educator612
Honesty can be tricky, and unpleasant, but is almost always the best course of action in the long run
Despite any number of difficulties, pressure, conflict-aversion, and people-pleasing, honesty is generally the best practice. Our cultural history is chock-full of advice to just tell the truth, though normally this is tied into some dilemma. All sorts of classic scenarios, often involving confessing to a misdeed, where honesty will cause some punishment. Thinkers and creatives of all sorts have made appeals for people to avoid lying, from William Shakespeare, who wrote “No legacy is so rich as honesty” in Act 3, scene 5 of “All’s Well That Ends Well, though this doesn’t necessarily mean that the bard believed it himself. Thomas Jefferson once said that “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom,” so we can believe that he did absolutely believe in its virtues.
So to OP’s credit, he did the wise and honorable thing, though his situation was a lot more straightforward. In a perfect world, his brother would have stood up for him over his bride-to-be, but ultimately OP was reasonable enough to decide that this hill was not worth dying on. The sad truth is that a brother who wouldn’t take his side maybe wasn’t close enough to cause a marital battle over. After all, it was the bride’s family with the conservative beliefs, and it’s unlikely that just seeing an openly bi man would have changed their opinion. Similarly, it might even be hard to enjoy a wedding party if there are only bigoted people about, judging you from the sidelines.
Being confronted with your own words should be a cause for introspection, not anger
While there are a lot of details missing, it’s pretty telling that OP’s brother, having learned that OP simply told the parent’s exactly what was said to him, flipped out. Screaming at someone just for repeating exactly what you said should be a good time for introspection. If you tell someone something that you absolutely don’t want to be repeated, you should really think your actions through. OP’s brother, unfortunately, wanted to have his cake and eat it as well. He wanted to satisfy his wife’s demands and also maintain his standing as a good brother in front of his parents. Compromise is hard and when confronted with the consequences of his choices, he unloads his anger on the one person who decided to be reasonable.
Despite the lack of details we actually have about OP’s relationship with his brother, this experience might shed some light on why it seemingly wasn’t that hard for him to just skip the wedding. But it’s also heartwarming to see that OP’s family stood up for him so readily and surprising that the brother had caved to his wives’ family wishes so quickly. OP deserved better, but hopefully, this experience has shown him that most of his family is on his side, and would be happy to be with him.