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Man Doesn’t Understand Why GF Is Upset He Wants Her Out Of The House, Gets A Reality Check
We all have our ways of dealing with distractions. Some people wear noise-canceling headphones and listen to slow jazz on repeat. Others turn off social media and streaming apps during the entire duration of their work hours.
However, the man in this story takes a more drastic approach: He keeps his girlfriend out of their shared home for six to seven hours daily. Things came to a head when he also kicked her out of her usual hangout spot in the house.
After an argument ensued, the author turned to the AITA subreddit to ask if he was wrong for wanting his partner to accommodate his work schedule and needs.
RELATED:
Some people view their romantic partners as distractions, which can be problematic
Image credits: Anete Lusina / pexels (not the actual photo)
A man had been living with his girlfriend, who recently lost her job and is constantly home
Image credits: Anete Lusina / pexels (not the actual photo)
He found her presence distracting and asked her to leave the house daily as he works
Image credits: Stephanie Hau / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Things came to a head during an argument at lunch
Image credits: throwaway89348593479
Relationships may enhance work productivity, according to research
While it may not seem to be the case for the author, studies show that relationships may help boost productivity at work. Researcher Rob Cross surveyed 160 people from different backgrounds and later published the results in Harvard Business Review.
They revealed that people with mundane or demanding jobs felt the same satisfaction as those in “fun” professions if they “proactively invest” in existing harmoniously with those around them.
Cross also highlighted a study linking social connections to a sense of purpose and well-being at work. The findings suggest that healthy personal relationships positively impact learning, spark innovation, and reduce burnout.
“Relationships outside work broaden our perspective and tap into aspects of our identity that don’t rise and fall with how well things are going in the office,” Cross wrote.
However, the author’s view of his partner as a hindrance to productivity could signify a bigger problem. In an article for Psychology Today, educator Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. pointed out a study that links lower relationship satisfaction with people blaming their partners for performing poorly at work.
Prioritizing the relationship is vital in balancing romantic life and work
Image credits: Ba Tik / pexels (not the actual photo)
The author appears to be struggling to balance his work and romantic relationship. Based on his account, the latter is suffering more. The couple could avoid their current scenario if the man prioritized his relationship more.
Licensed marriage and family therapistErika Boissiere defines this as reserving “a few gallons in your gas tank” for your partner. Her article for Forbes reminds us about the importance of checking in on your partner even when you’re having a bad day.
“You do this even if your big deal fell through, even if you’re facing an impossible deadline, even if your boss chewed you out after lunch,” she wrote.
Boissiere likewise advises blocking off time for your partner and planning a weekly movie night or a quarterly getaway. Take the time to unwind and forget about life’s stressors for a few moments while focusing on spending time together.
The author, however, seemed perfectly comfortable with the distance between him and his girlfriend. It doesn’t help that he is pushing her away, which could only lead to them drifting further apart.
Unless he’s no longer interested in strengthening their connection, it would benefit them both if he prioritized his relationship more.
What do you think, readers? What could the author have done differently?
Most commenters thought the author was out of line
While a few sided with him
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What do you think ?
Northlander72 1 year ago
"While a few sided with him...." *Completely misses that the first NTA comment is a subtle, but still sick burn on OP*
Livingwithcfs 1 year ago
What a horrible person this young man is. I hope she sees it and tells him to take a flying jump
General Anaesthesia 1 year ago
"...so many side hustles to earn money..." tells me you should go out and get a real job, if that's legal on your visa. If it isn't, your future is in Canada anyway, so go home. Your girlfriend deserves much better than your "me first forever".
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
He’s in America and living with his American girlfriend. That tells you everything. I would bet good money that it was already her apartment in the first place, and she let him move in because she thought they were in a real relationship. But he’s just using her for a cheap and comfortable place to stay. Bet she does the lion’s share of household chores to boot, so he’s also treating her like the maid. It worked while she was leaving the house to go to her job. But once that job was history and she had a lot of spare time on her hands, he started telling her where she could be during the day in her OWN home! How TF is she supposed to job hunt when he’s shutting her in the bedroom and telling her to be quiet every day? He’s using her, and I sure hope she wakes up to it and throws his a*s out long before his visa is up.
TribbleThinking 1 year ago (edited)
Your attitude would be fair if you paid all the rent and you were letting her crash for free, which is how you're currently treating her(as if she isn't an equal co-habitee). Smaller criticism of her - what's that with not being able to shut up for a few hours? You're an adult.
Negatoris Wrecks 1 year ago (edited)
It's not fair in the other case either. He wants half off rent, a maid, and affection on tap, just like a lot of other entitled pieces of c**p do. She probably doesn't talk nonstop, most likely dude is just a self centered user trying to make him self look like a victim before breaking up with her when the lease runs out.
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CanadianDimes 1 year ago
“I want to spend time with you and to prove it, I don’t want you anywhere near me”
Featherking 1 year ago
The sacrifice of OTHER people, mind. Not OP. Never OP.
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RP 1 year ago
Why can't he just work in the bedroom? Headphones on, door shut. That way she could actually use the living areas and kitchen freely. I did over 10 years in a bedsit, not even a separate bedroom and it does sometimes make you want to inflict violence on the other person for sound of their chewing, but you grind your teeth and get over it. Sounds like the BF needs to grow up a bit before getting into the next relationship
AMaureen Dance 1 year ago
That's what my daughter does. When he's home during work time, her hubby gets the rest of the place. The person who's not working at the moment has more need of space to move about.
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Natasha Clark 1 year ago
Lol! YTA! You don't have to do anything for her... she's NOT your wife. Also you can break up with her at anytime instead of complaining to the internet about this. She doesn't have shackles attached to your ankles right?? You're more concerned about earning a green card or dual citizenship over anything else to be honest. Remember... your visa is almost up & American "girlfriend" is not the cleanest who annoys you during work.
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
I'm sure the reasons are thus, he can't break up with her bc it's her place, she's the reason he can stay here for his visa, he's using her but wants to feel vindicated about it like he's not a bad person really here's my excuses and was hoping to use positive internet comments to him against her
Load More Replies... Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 year ago
"Most thought he was out of line": 38,200 points, 12,000 points "While a few sided with him": 192 points, 1 point, 0 points, 1 point. Yeah, such an even divide...
Acruss 1 year ago
The "192 points" didn't even sign with him, he was against him too
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Stacy Jones 1 year ago
NAH but there is also No Relationship Here. He's a hustle/grind-culture devotee, she's not. She's into loving, talking, being-around-each-other-constantly type relationships, he's not. They can't be productive in the same room. He asks her to leave during the day, he leaves at night. They're roommates. And that arrangement doesn't seem to be working for either of them.
Traveling Lady Railfan 1 year ago
You are Canadian. You can be in the USA fur a while then you HAVE to leave (unless you marry the gf). You know this. You shouldn't have even gotten into a relationship with someone who is sharing the rent, knowing you HAVE to leave. That's unfair. You work all day, you work all night. You say when gf is within sight she's distracting, so you try to banish her to the bedroom. When you're working...all day and all night. And you're leaving the country SOON. What's she going to do? Will she have to support the apartment rent 100% until you come back in 6 or 9 months (I forget the rules, but he can't come back immediately after that long a stay). You want to come back to the USA, enjoy the lifestyle, work a lot of side hustles and make money? Next time, stay single. You're selfish
laura lee 1 year ago
He's using her, probably can't work on his visa even, thus all the side hussles not real jobs.
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Alexandra 1 year ago
This guy is starting at the wrong end of things. Why is his family reliant on him to pay for his grandma's medical costs? And why does he think it's his responsibility rather than his parents'? And why does he think it's okay to involve his girlfriend to such an extent in his financial woes? Of course, girlfriend should look for a job asap, but since this guy hasn't a cottage industrial type of thing going, why can't he work with his laptop somewhere else? Also, asking someone to go eat in the kitchen might sound innocent, but the kitchen is where the staff eats and gf probably felt insulted. And why all the side-hustles? Doesn't he have a proper job that pays enough not to necessitate doing side-hustles? Does he prefer side-hustles despite the obvious strains this has on his relationships? This story is not at all straightforward.
Verena 1 year ago
"The kitchen is where the staff eats" .... seriously? All around the world is is totally normal to eat in the kitchen, if it is possible to have a table or bartop there. Many families have either kitchens big enough for placing a dining table (and don't have a separate dining room) or even have open plan kitchens.
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Solandri 1 year ago (edited)
I know people make a big deal about Canada's "universal" health care. But it only provides a certain level of care at no charge. If you want a higher level of care (or shorter wait times), you need to pay for it yourself. There's even health insurance you can buy which covers this higher tier of service. (I used to live/work in Canada, and helped a good friend when his dad was hospitalized and eventually died there. I got to see all aspects of Canada's health care system - both good and bad. After his dad reached a state where the doctors felt he only had a short time to live, the government sent people tasked to convince families to let go. My friend was furious because they'd been paying their taxes all their lives while rarely visiting the hospital. And now that it was the government's turn to "pay them back" by doing everything they could, they were telling him to let his dad die. The guy's grandma is probably in a similar state - needs some treatment that the government will not cover. So he has to pay for it himself.)
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Melissa anderson 1 year ago
Why does he keep saying he’s doing it for her when he admits he’s doing all this work for his family back home? He’s a liar and a control freak.
Ephemera Image 1 year ago (edited)
This guy is so far up his own a*s he will never see daylight again. What an absolute ... I can't use the word I'm thinking about. She needs to get rid of precious little lord Fauntleroy.
Jean Grey 1 year ago
He's TA. He isn't trying to find GOOD compromise. He just wants everything on his terms. She pays half the rent, she should be able to do what she wants in her own space, same as him. Honestly, he doesn't sound ready to be in a committed relationship to me. They should break up and move on. He can buy a sex worker or a fleshlight if he wants release, but otherwise leave women alone. His life isn't in a place where a relationship will work - especially with his attitude about a significant other being a 'bother' to him. I think GF needs to pack up and move on. I think OP needs to focus on his personal and financial growth without a relationship. That's the compromise that works here for everyone.
Nancy Whiting 1 year ago
If you were working in an office instead of at home, do you REALLY THINK you'd have the totally other-human-free, totally silent environment? I call B******T.
kansasmagic 1 year ago
1) You are the a*****e for trying to rally randos on the internet to side with you against your girlfriend. 2) I think when you start arguing over how many hours a day you spend together, it's time for both of you to move on.
kansasmagic 1 year ago
Just a friendly reminder: AITA stories are *always* one-sided, and *always* try to show the poster in the best light. This guy reeks of assholery. Just imagine what he's *not* telling us. Like, dude, if your family relies on you so much, why do you have a one-year visa to the U.S. instead of getting an actual job (with a salary and benefits) in Canada? This guy just wants to b***h about his GF and get a bunch of incels to rally around him.
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P.L. Packer 1 year ago
Girlfriend needs to be out looking for work. Boyfriend needs to set up his "office" in the bedroom where he can close the door for his "quiet time" . As long as she is paying her share, it's her house, too. He is TA!
SamIam 1 year ago
Maybe look into the fact that you may have ADHD? I am like this and after being diagnosed with ADHD( at 29) I realized this is a characteristic that is related to it. People moving around me makes me lose my concentration, and I am not able to really work with people in my room, but I have learned how to adapt and so should you.
Margaret Shannon 1 year ago
He's Canadian, his family live in Canada, but he has to work in the US to pay grandma’s medical bills? Canada has excellent taxpayer-supported healthcare. Many times I've read here on BP that Canadians paid only to park their cars at hospital. Methinks OP isn’t telling the truth.
B Cosgrave 1 year ago
the last nta comment has the same entitled mentality as op, like "oh no the other person who lives here is always here" like if you want to be alone either live alone or find your own secluded area but the main shared living area is not it lmao
Marsha Chace 1 year ago
YTA and one of the biggest ones ever to post here. Your private workspace with no distractions is up to YOU. Nobody should have to leave for 6-7 hours while you "work". Sorry, not sorry but there's something more going on here, especially when you made your GF eat elsewhere instead of asking your female "friend" to move from your girlfriend's spot. Go back to Canada where you belong and let this woman find the kind of man she deserves. You, obviously are a child who can't handle adulting.
Niloufar Khanoom 1 year ago
Why can't he go to the bedroom to work? Why does he have to be in the middle of everything to work? Don't get it! If you don't want to be distracted while working then you shoulf lock yourself in the room! In my school years when i lived with my family i would NEVER sit in the living room or kitchen to study, I would be in my room so both me and my family could do what we wanted in peace! Such a guy way of thinking and acting *smh
Niloufar Khanoom 1 year ago
Why can't he go to the bedroom to work? Why does he have to be in the middle of everything to work? Don't get it! If you don't want to be distracted while working then you shoulf lock yourself in the room! In my school years when i lived with my family i would NEVER sit in the living room or kitchen to study, I would be in my room so both me and my family could do what we wanted in peace! Such a guy way of thinking and acting *smh*
Chelsea McKee 1 year ago
This does not sound like a healthy relationship at all. Some of you people have never cohabitated with another person and it f*****g shows.
Stephanie 1 year ago
I understand both the need for a quiet space and the feeling like someone's watching over your shoulder while working. I also understand that that's a ME problem. This is a HIM problem and HE needs to figure it out without controlling anyone else's movements or access to the home they pay for.
AMaureen Dance 1 year ago
My daughter WFH. She lives in a small one bedroom apartment with her husband. Not even a house, a little apartment. So, she set up a desk in the bedroom, the one place least likely to be a problem during the day. Hubby has pretty much the rest of the place when he's home. He may pop his head in around noonish, to ask what she wants for lunch. Why can't OP set up in the bedroom?
Vanessa MacKenzie 1 year ago
why can't HE work in the bedroom, and give her the run of the rest of the house? Totally a*s move to confine her to one room for the entire day. Is she allowed to use the bathroom/kitchen or is that too much of a "distraction:?
Steve Hall 1 year ago
Why would anyone stay in a relationship like that? And why does he need to take care of his parents and grandma, Canada has plenty of social services for that. This whole post sounds like a line of BS.
Joanne Wright 1 year ago
Does your Gramma live in Canada? If so, why does she need help wth healt care bills?
Broadredpanda 1 year ago
What TF have I just read. You said "she was pissed because you asked her to go into the kitchen to eat" HELLO I'd need to be pissed to live with you!!!!!! I can't believe how f*****g horrible you are? Is this real?? I think you should go home (I'm not racist) I mean it literally. This girl is seeing the future of your controlling ways. Yippee!!!
Lori Beauchamp 1 year ago
Lol. Dude isn't a naturalized Canadian. He's bringing cultural baggage into the convo.
Mama Penguin 1 year ago (edited)
All in all, he's being more of an a*****e here. I completely understand needing a quiet workplace, but confining her to the bedroom for hours in an apartment that she pays half the rent for is a bit much. He needs noise canceling headphones and to stop this restrictive, controlling behavior. And she needs to leave him alone during work hours and distract herself while he's working. Maybe they can also set aside a lunch hour together so it doesn't feel like such a long stretch of silence.
Margie T 1 year ago
How about YOU spend your time working in the bedroom? YTA and I'm surprised she didn't move out. Obviously when you said you were Canadian you're only looking for a wife to stay. Even your parents are telling you to hurry up so he can stay. Either you grow a pair and leave the apt for the day, tell him your half of the rent will be cut. He's just using you hun, that's written all over your post clear as day. My ex used to say " it's for our future". Once he got what he wanted, plus using all my savings, I was done. Didn't see the writing on the wall. He knew how to manipulate anything he wanted with the way he said what he said. If you put up with it NEVER marry him. He's smart not stupid. You'd be TA if you did.
Northlander72 1 year ago
"While a few sided with him...." *Completely misses that the first NTA comment is a subtle, but still sick burn on OP*
Livingwithcfs 1 year ago
What a horrible person this young man is. I hope she sees it and tells him to take a flying jump
General Anaesthesia 1 year ago
"...so many side hustles to earn money..." tells me you should go out and get a real job, if that's legal on your visa. If it isn't, your future is in Canada anyway, so go home. Your girlfriend deserves much better than your "me first forever".
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
He’s in America and living with his American girlfriend. That tells you everything. I would bet good money that it was already her apartment in the first place, and she let him move in because she thought they were in a real relationship. But he’s just using her for a cheap and comfortable place to stay. Bet she does the lion’s share of household chores to boot, so he’s also treating her like the maid. It worked while she was leaving the house to go to her job. But once that job was history and she had a lot of spare time on her hands, he started telling her where she could be during the day in her OWN home! How TF is she supposed to job hunt when he’s shutting her in the bedroom and telling her to be quiet every day? He’s using her, and I sure hope she wakes up to it and throws his a*s out long before his visa is up.
TribbleThinking 1 year ago (edited)
Your attitude would be fair if you paid all the rent and you were letting her crash for free, which is how you're currently treating her(as if she isn't an equal co-habitee). Smaller criticism of her - what's that with not being able to shut up for a few hours? You're an adult.
Negatoris Wrecks 1 year ago (edited)
It's not fair in the other case either. He wants half off rent, a maid, and affection on tap, just like a lot of other entitled pieces of c**p do. She probably doesn't talk nonstop, most likely dude is just a self centered user trying to make him self look like a victim before breaking up with her when the lease runs out.
Load More Replies... CanadianDimes 1 year ago
“I want to spend time with you and to prove it, I don’t want you anywhere near me”
Featherking 1 year ago
The sacrifice of OTHER people, mind. Not OP. Never OP.
Load More Replies... RP 1 year ago
Why can't he just work in the bedroom? Headphones on, door shut. That way she could actually use the living areas and kitchen freely. I did over 10 years in a bedsit, not even a separate bedroom and it does sometimes make you want to inflict violence on the other person for sound of their chewing, but you grind your teeth and get over it. Sounds like the BF needs to grow up a bit before getting into the next relationship
AMaureen Dance 1 year ago
That's what my daughter does. When he's home during work time, her hubby gets the rest of the place. The person who's not working at the moment has more need of space to move about.
Load More Replies... Natasha Clark 1 year ago
Lol! YTA! You don't have to do anything for her... she's NOT your wife. Also you can break up with her at anytime instead of complaining to the internet about this. She doesn't have shackles attached to your ankles right?? You're more concerned about earning a green card or dual citizenship over anything else to be honest. Remember... your visa is almost up & American "girlfriend" is not the cleanest who annoys you during work.
laura lee 1 year ago (edited)
I'm sure the reasons are thus, he can't break up with her bc it's her place, she's the reason he can stay here for his visa, he's using her but wants to feel vindicated about it like he's not a bad person really here's my excuses and was hoping to use positive internet comments to him against her
Load More Replies... Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 year ago
"Most thought he was out of line": 38,200 points, 12,000 points "While a few sided with him": 192 points, 1 point, 0 points, 1 point. Yeah, such an even divide...
Acruss 1 year ago
The "192 points" didn't even sign with him, he was against him too
Load More Replies... Stacy Jones 1 year ago
NAH but there is also No Relationship Here. He's a hustle/grind-culture devotee, she's not. She's into loving, talking, being-around-each-other-constantly type relationships, he's not. They can't be productive in the same room. He asks her to leave during the day, he leaves at night. They're roommates. And that arrangement doesn't seem to be working for either of them.
Traveling Lady Railfan 1 year ago
You are Canadian. You can be in the USA fur a while then you HAVE to leave (unless you marry the gf). You know this. You shouldn't have even gotten into a relationship with someone who is sharing the rent, knowing you HAVE to leave. That's unfair. You work all day, you work all night. You say when gf is within sight she's distracting, so you try to banish her to the bedroom. When you're working...all day and all night. And you're leaving the country SOON. What's she going to do? Will she have to support the apartment rent 100% until you come back in 6 or 9 months (I forget the rules, but he can't come back immediately after that long a stay). You want to come back to the USA, enjoy the lifestyle, work a lot of side hustles and make money? Next time, stay single. You're selfish
laura lee 1 year ago
He's using her, probably can't work on his visa even, thus all the side hussles not real jobs.
Load More Replies... Alexandra 1 year ago
This guy is starting at the wrong end of things. Why is his family reliant on him to pay for his grandma's medical costs? And why does he think it's his responsibility rather than his parents'? And why does he think it's okay to involve his girlfriend to such an extent in his financial woes? Of course, girlfriend should look for a job asap, but since this guy hasn't a cottage industrial type of thing going, why can't he work with his laptop somewhere else? Also, asking someone to go eat in the kitchen might sound innocent, but the kitchen is where the staff eats and gf probably felt insulted. And why all the side-hustles? Doesn't he have a proper job that pays enough not to necessitate doing side-hustles? Does he prefer side-hustles despite the obvious strains this has on his relationships? This story is not at all straightforward.
Verena 1 year ago
"The kitchen is where the staff eats" .... seriously? All around the world is is totally normal to eat in the kitchen, if it is possible to have a table or bartop there. Many families have either kitchens big enough for placing a dining table (and don't have a separate dining room) or even have open plan kitchens.
Load More Replies... Solandri 1 year ago (edited)
I know people make a big deal about Canada's "universal" health care. But it only provides a certain level of care at no charge. If you want a higher level of care (or shorter wait times), you need to pay for it yourself. There's even health insurance you can buy which covers this higher tier of service. (I used to live/work in Canada, and helped a good friend when his dad was hospitalized and eventually died there. I got to see all aspects of Canada's health care system - both good and bad. After his dad reached a state where the doctors felt he only had a short time to live, the government sent people tasked to convince families to let go. My friend was furious because they'd been paying their taxes all their lives while rarely visiting the hospital. And now that it was the government's turn to "pay them back" by doing everything they could, they were telling him to let his dad die. The guy's grandma is probably in a similar state - needs some treatment that the government will not cover. So he has to pay for it himself.)
Load More Replies... Melissa anderson 1 year ago
Why does he keep saying he’s doing it for her when he admits he’s doing all this work for his family back home? He’s a liar and a control freak.
Ephemera Image 1 year ago (edited)
This guy is so far up his own a*s he will never see daylight again. What an absolute ... I can't use the word I'm thinking about. She needs to get rid of precious little lord Fauntleroy.
Jean Grey 1 year ago
He's TA. He isn't trying to find GOOD compromise. He just wants everything on his terms. She pays half the rent, she should be able to do what she wants in her own space, same as him. Honestly, he doesn't sound ready to be in a committed relationship to me. They should break up and move on. He can buy a sex worker or a fleshlight if he wants release, but otherwise leave women alone. His life isn't in a place where a relationship will work - especially with his attitude about a significant other being a 'bother' to him. I think GF needs to pack up and move on. I think OP needs to focus on his personal and financial growth without a relationship. That's the compromise that works here for everyone.
Nancy Whiting 1 year ago
If you were working in an office instead of at home, do you REALLY THINK you'd have the totally other-human-free, totally silent environment? I call B******T.
kansasmagic 1 year ago
1) You are the a*****e for trying to rally randos on the internet to side with you against your girlfriend. 2) I think when you start arguing over how many hours a day you spend together, it's time for both of you to move on.
kansasmagic 1 year ago
Just a friendly reminder: AITA stories are *always* one-sided, and *always* try to show the poster in the best light. This guy reeks of assholery. Just imagine what he's *not* telling us. Like, dude, if your family relies on you so much, why do you have a one-year visa to the U.S. instead of getting an actual job (with a salary and benefits) in Canada? This guy just wants to b***h about his GF and get a bunch of incels to rally around him.
Load More Replies... P.L. Packer 1 year ago
Girlfriend needs to be out looking for work. Boyfriend needs to set up his "office" in the bedroom where he can close the door for his "quiet time" . As long as she is paying her share, it's her house, too. He is TA!
SamIam 1 year ago
Maybe look into the fact that you may have ADHD? I am like this and after being diagnosed with ADHD( at 29) I realized this is a characteristic that is related to it. People moving around me makes me lose my concentration, and I am not able to really work with people in my room, but I have learned how to adapt and so should you.
Margaret Shannon 1 year ago
He's Canadian, his family live in Canada, but he has to work in the US to pay grandma’s medical bills? Canada has excellent taxpayer-supported healthcare. Many times I've read here on BP that Canadians paid only to park their cars at hospital. Methinks OP isn’t telling the truth.
B Cosgrave 1 year ago
the last nta comment has the same entitled mentality as op, like "oh no the other person who lives here is always here" like if you want to be alone either live alone or find your own secluded area but the main shared living area is not it lmao
Marsha Chace 1 year ago
YTA and one of the biggest ones ever to post here. Your private workspace with no distractions is up to YOU. Nobody should have to leave for 6-7 hours while you "work". Sorry, not sorry but there's something more going on here, especially when you made your GF eat elsewhere instead of asking your female "friend" to move from your girlfriend's spot. Go back to Canada where you belong and let this woman find the kind of man she deserves. You, obviously are a child who can't handle adulting.
Niloufar Khanoom 1 year ago
Why can't he go to the bedroom to work? Why does he have to be in the middle of everything to work? Don't get it! If you don't want to be distracted while working then you shoulf lock yourself in the room! In my school years when i lived with my family i would NEVER sit in the living room or kitchen to study, I would be in my room so both me and my family could do what we wanted in peace! Such a guy way of thinking and acting *smh
Niloufar Khanoom 1 year ago
Why can't he go to the bedroom to work? Why does he have to be in the middle of everything to work? Don't get it! If you don't want to be distracted while working then you shoulf lock yourself in the room! In my school years when i lived with my family i would NEVER sit in the living room or kitchen to study, I would be in my room so both me and my family could do what we wanted in peace! Such a guy way of thinking and acting *smh*
Chelsea McKee 1 year ago
This does not sound like a healthy relationship at all. Some of you people have never cohabitated with another person and it f*****g shows.
Stephanie 1 year ago
I understand both the need for a quiet space and the feeling like someone's watching over your shoulder while working. I also understand that that's a ME problem. This is a HIM problem and HE needs to figure it out without controlling anyone else's movements or access to the home they pay for.
AMaureen Dance 1 year ago
My daughter WFH. She lives in a small one bedroom apartment with her husband. Not even a house, a little apartment. So, she set up a desk in the bedroom, the one place least likely to be a problem during the day. Hubby has pretty much the rest of the place when he's home. He may pop his head in around noonish, to ask what she wants for lunch. Why can't OP set up in the bedroom?
Vanessa MacKenzie 1 year ago
why can't HE work in the bedroom, and give her the run of the rest of the house? Totally a*s move to confine her to one room for the entire day. Is she allowed to use the bathroom/kitchen or is that too much of a "distraction:?
Steve Hall 1 year ago
Why would anyone stay in a relationship like that? And why does he need to take care of his parents and grandma, Canada has plenty of social services for that. This whole post sounds like a line of BS.
Joanne Wright 1 year ago
Does your Gramma live in Canada? If so, why does she need help wth healt care bills?
Broadredpanda 1 year ago
What TF have I just read. You said "she was pissed because you asked her to go into the kitchen to eat" HELLO I'd need to be pissed to live with you!!!!!! I can't believe how f*****g horrible you are? Is this real?? I think you should go home (I'm not racist) I mean it literally. This girl is seeing the future of your controlling ways. Yippee!!!
Lori Beauchamp 1 year ago
Lol. Dude isn't a naturalized Canadian. He's bringing cultural baggage into the convo.
Mama Penguin 1 year ago (edited)
All in all, he's being more of an a*****e here. I completely understand needing a quiet workplace, but confining her to the bedroom for hours in an apartment that she pays half the rent for is a bit much. He needs noise canceling headphones and to stop this restrictive, controlling behavior. And she needs to leave him alone during work hours and distract herself while he's working. Maybe they can also set aside a lunch hour together so it doesn't feel like such a long stretch of silence.
Margie T 1 year ago
How about YOU spend your time working in the bedroom? YTA and I'm surprised she didn't move out. Obviously when you said you were Canadian you're only looking for a wife to stay. Even your parents are telling you to hurry up so he can stay. Either you grow a pair and leave the apt for the day, tell him your half of the rent will be cut. He's just using you hun, that's written all over your post clear as day. My ex used to say " it's for our future". Once he got what he wanted, plus using all my savings, I was done. Didn't see the writing on the wall. He knew how to manipulate anything he wanted with the way he said what he said. If you put up with it NEVER marry him. He's smart not stupid. You'd be TA if you did.
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