Woman Contacts “Jerk” Granddad Just To Make Sure She Gets His Inheritance: “It’s Pretty Savage”

No matter how much you prepare for it, reconnecting with estranged family members might not go the way you expect. There are just too many unknowns.

When Reddit user Ihananakki messaged her grandfather (whom she hasn’t talked to in years), the woman had a clear goal—to set herself up for inheriting his possessions. But instead, she learned that she had an aunt she didn’t even know existed!

And the more she heard about this mysterious relative, the stronger her desire to meet her grew.

This woman uncovered a surprising family secret: she has an aunt her own age

Young woman in a green plaid shirt looking at her phone, focused on finding information about her grandfather and inheritance.

Image credits: Mint_Images/Envato (not the actual photo)

What’s more, the two of them also shared a bunch of uncanny similarities

Text excerpt about looking up a long-lost grandfather to secure inheritance, expressing emotional turmoil and loss.

Text excerpt about reconnecting with a long-lost grandfather to ensure inheritance and family legacy.

Text excerpt about inheriting nan’s diaries revealing her difficult life and distrust of grandfather’s abusive behavior.

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Text describing looking up long-lost grandfather online, finding disturbing posts on his public social media accounts.

Text on a plain background stating entitlement to dad's portion of inheritance according to home country's law.

Person reading a message about looking up long-lost grandfather to secure inheritance and prepare necessary paperwork.

Message written to long-lost grandfather to confirm identity and secure inheritance after nan's passing and missing her dearly.

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Text message conversation illustrating a manipulative person trying to confirm inheritance from a long-lost grandfather.

Text about uncovering family reputation and long-lost grandfather while ensuring inheritance is secured.

Text describing a man sharing stories about his costly divorces, money, and lifestyle related to inheritance and long-lost grandfather.

Text excerpt showing a granddaughter explaining how she looked up her long-lost grandfather to secure his inheritance.

Text expressing emotional reaction after looking up long-lost grandfather to secure inheritance and reconnect with family.

Text excerpt about discovering a long-lost grandfather’s family and inheritance details after a divorce.

Elderly man with mustache wearing a blue cap and checkered shirt, representing long-lost grandfather and inheritance theme.

Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages/Envato (not the actual photo)

Text describing discovering a long-lost grandfather and ensuring to get his inheritance through social media research.

Text about a woman awarded for rescuing people, recently lost weight, career driven, and loving pets, linked to inheritance search.

Text describing sleeplessness after messaging, reflecting thoughts on long-lost grandfather and inheritance concerns.

Text about feeling guilty for reaching out to grandfather, hoping to learn about family and inheritance truth.

Image credits: ihananakki

Family estrangement is fairly common

A family of five sitting on a log overlooking mountains, symbolizing reconnecting with a long-lost grandfather.

Image credits: Roberto Nickson/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

“Humans are wired to want connection with our family, however, sometimes this reality doesn’t align,”  New York City-based grief therapist Natalie Greenberg told Bored Panda. “Sometimes estrangement is necessary to maintain our boundaries and dignity. Breaching this boundary can evoke an emotional rollercoaster, perhaps confirming why the estrangement existed in the first place.”

In the second half of 2022, a set of YouGov polls explored American family relationships, and the findings concluded that vast majorities of Americans — at least eight in ten — consider children, parents, siblings, and spouses to be immediate family members, while slightly fewer — though still a solid majority of roughly two-thirds — believe grandparents and grandchildren are also immediate family members.

Cousins, in-laws, aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews are more often thought of as extended rather than immediate family. The most divisive category is children-in-law: 46% consider them extended family members, while 35% consider them immediate family.

More than one in four Americans — 29% — report being estranged from an immediate family member. This figure is slightly higher for men (31%) than for women (27%).

Sexual orientation also appears to be a factor, with higher rates of estrangement reported by gay men (49%), lesbian women (55%), and bisexual people (38%) compared to heterosexuals (27%).

Interestingly, grandparents were the category of family that respondents were the least estranged from (5%).

However, it often ends

Elderly man wearing glasses and a purple sweater sitting on a couch, portraying a long-lost grandfather concept.

Image credits: Nima Sarram/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Research suggests that very few estrangements are permanent. For example, Karl Pillemer, PhD, is a professor of human development at Cornell University and author of Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them.

Of the 300 estranged “sets” interviewed, 100 had attempted reconciliation, and of those 100, many were successful and generally credited professional counseling for being a vital part of their happy ending.

This post is just one example of why people want to reconnect: whether the desire comes from an egotistical place or a genuine longing for resolution, it’s hard to shut the door on your closest kin forever.

About three-quarters of Americans (73%) rate spending time with family as one of the most important things to them personally, regardless of how much time they actually devote to it.

90% say they view it as either one of the most important things or a very important thing, outranking other priorities, such as being physically active (74%), being outdoors and experiencing nature (72%), or having a successful career (66%).

But when it comes to establishing contact with a relative you didn’t even know before, it’s probably best to keep yourself grounded and not put too much hope in it. “Expectations can lead to disappointment,” therapist Natalie Greenberg explained to us.

“I would advise having low expectations for a response, as you don’t know this individual and what they are going through, and they might need more time to process information that you have already had time to process.”

As her story went viral, the woman answered some of the biggest questions people had for her

Reddit user discussing long-lost grandfather’s character and inheritance based on diaries and personal accounts.

Comment discussion about staying distant from a long-lost grandfather to secure inheritance and manage toxic relationships.

Screenshot of a conversation discussing looking up a long-lost grandfather’s social media for background checks and inheritance.

Her honest confession has received many different reactions

Reddit conversation discussing hope for a response after looking up a long-lost grandfather to get inheritance.

Reddit comment discussing looking up long-lost grandfather to secure inheritance and potential family bond or payout.

Online conversation discussing journaling and family importance related to looking up a long-lost grandfather inheritance search.

Screenshot of a comment discussing the complexity of a grandfather’s character and family relationships.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment about never touching booze or having a single beer, with hiccup and burp text effects.

Screenshot of online comment about hoping aunt and user have a wonderful life getting to know each other, referencing long-lost grandfather inheritance.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing feelings about finding a long-lost grandfather and potential inheritance outcomes.

Comment about reconnecting with long-lost grandfather and ensuring inheritance while learning family stories.

Comment discussing the complexity of reaching out to a long-lost grandfather about inheritance with empathy concerns.

Screenshot of a comment about looking up a long-lost grandfather to ensure inheritance and family connection.

Comment about looking up long-lost grandfather with hope to connect and secure inheritance in a supportive online discussion.

Comment on a forum thread, with username jucaarm, expressing good luck wishes for someone's endeavors, related to inheritance search.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing the importance of connection when looking up a long-lost grandfather for inheritance.

Comment about contacting long-lost grandfather to secure inheritance and possibly build a meaningful family relationship.

Text post about family inheritance and bitterness over father leaving money to his girlfriend’s children instead of his own.

Comment discussing talking to a long-lost grandfather to learn about his life and inheritance insights.

Comment discussing the experience of having a narcissistic dad who is a good and supportive grandfather to nieces and nephews.

Comment text on a social platform offering support about looking up a long-lost grandfather and inheritance.

Eventually, she shared an update with the latest news

Text update about family background and a conversation with grandfather, related to long-lost grandfather inheritance search.

Text on white background describing a difficult conversation while looking up a long-lost grandfather for inheritance purposes.

Text on screen expressing gratitude for encouraging messages after a confusing day and sleepless night related to long-lost grandfather.

Middle-aged woman with blonde hair checking phone, focused on looking up long-lost grandfather for inheritance.

Image credits: Beth Macdonald/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text message conversation showing a reply from an aunt after looking up long-lost grandfather to get inheritance.

Text excerpt about reaching out to a long-lost grandfather to secure inheritance and family distance issues.

Text about reaching out to a grandfather with a calm and comforting voice note in a personal inheritance story.

Text excerpt discussing a person's health struggles while managing daily life, related to long-lost grandfather and inheritance.

Text excerpt describing exchanging family stories and photos while looking up long-lost grandfather to secure inheritance.

Text excerpt about not messaging a grandfather, reflecting on family drama while searching for long-lost grandfather inheritance details.

Text about inheritance law and splitting assets fairly, related to ensuring grandfather's inheritance is secured.

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