“Would You Rather Lie Or Tell The Truth?”: 12 Social Dilemmas With No Clear Answer
Would you tell your best friend their partner is cheating? We face tough social dilemmas all the time. Choosing between absolute honesty and a comforting lie is never easy.
This interactive poll will test your personal ethics against 12 agonizing moral dilemmas. Are you a brutal truth-teller or a protective liar? Cast your vote below and see how your internal compass compares to other pandas.
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Your friend starts asking you to babysit for her, and more often than not, she brings the 6-year-old to your house. At first, you don’t really mind, but the visits become more frequent. You find out she’s been asking you to babysit because she’s been lying to her new date for 3 months, saying she doesn’t have any children. Babysitting is starting to tire you out, and when you first meet your friend’s new boyfriend, they make a passing joke about hating children, while your friend gives you a worried look.
Your sibling is always favored by your parents because they started a small business by themselves, while you struggle with keeping a job. However, you know that your sibling quietly avoids certain regulations to stay financially afloat. Their customers are satisfied, and no one has been directly harmed, but some authorities begin poking around and asking questions, and you are in a position to confirm or deny what you know. You know it’s big enough to potentially shut down the business, but lying will perpetuate the favoritism that you can’t stand in your family.
You discover that a patient has only a few months to live. The patient has explicitly told you they don’t want to know the prognosis if it’s bad because they’d rather live peacefully instead of becoming a “living pity party” for their family and “an experiment for the next newest treatment.” The patient’s family privately begs you to tell them how it is so they can look for ways to improve their relative’s comfort and stay with them for their last days. You come out of your office and find both the patient and their family waiting for the news.
Cite doctor/patient privilege and patient will let them know what they need to know.
This should have been the third choice given above. Tell both parties the truth separately. Tell the truth of his condition to the patient. Tell the family the truth that you can't share that information with them. So you are lying to no one.
Load More Replies...Decline to speak to the family and adhere to the patient's request.
Agree with not saying anything to the family. But I don't know if that's a request that they can honour. There are decisions that need to be made in regards to the prognosis and if the patient doesn't want their family knowing, they have to be the informed ones.
Load More Replies...HIPAA, in the US at least, says you keep your mouth shut when it comes to the family. I would talk to the patient privately so they could get their affairs in order, i.e. make/update their will, sign a DNR, power of attorney, etc., and so they can prepare to deal with the final stage(s) illness. I would also let them know what treatments are available to manage the condition's symptoms and give them the best quality of life possible but make it clear that any decision to pursue any form of treatment is decision alone.
Without consent, I cannot discuss it with the family, and I specifically do not have consent.
None of these so far are black and white. There's much more than lie or truth to these
I wouldn’t blurt out the prognosis because the patient specifically requested that he not be told. Ask to speak to the patient privately, reiterate and document the previous instruction not to be told, then if asked by the family, refer them to the patient. If the patient chooses to lie to his family—which I think is horrid and hurtful—then that is his decision.
The patient is apparently with the family, so it isn't breaking HIPAA to tell the family if the patient is in the room with them. If the patient stood up and said, "No, I don't want to know", and the provider proceeded to tell the family then, that would be different. (Unless, of course, the patient signed a waiver stating that certain can be told medical information.) It just doesn't feel ethical to outright lie to the PATIENT.
Lie - anything else is unethical. You tell the patient, it's up to them what they want to do with the information. Telling others? Well that's a whole enormous minefield right there.
Neither, you go out and taser gun the awful rich uncle who put the patient in this circumstance in the first place.
You’re not allowed to lie as a doctor !! It you also can’t divulge anything to anyone but the patient themselves either so that bits easy, the not telling the patient themselves erm hmm I’d never want to be in that position tbh
Uh... follow the ethical guidelines? (1) Ms Eliza is 100% correct that you could cite doctor/patient privilege, (2) I don't see anything that would tempt me to override the patients's wishes. But (3), can you fulfill your legal and ethical obligations without letting the patient know? Are we talking about something which would absolutely doom the patient, and there is absolutely no treatment for it so that you wouldn't be liable for failing to at least try something? Suppose the patient had Huntington's, and somehow you could know no-one else in the family had it, how long before it became evident. If it were a time-b**b heart defect, could you avoid a lawsuit when the b**b goes off?
Talk to the patient first. The patient is your priority, and the one who decides about their health and life. The family must accept what the patient wants.
As political tensions in your town rise, you come home from work to find a refugee in poor shape hiding in your living room. He begs you in tears to stay silent, but before you can answer, authorities come knocking on your door. They might have seen you entering your home just now. Two officers ask you if you’ve seen a person, as they show you a picture of the man in your living room. They tell you he’s potentially dangerous, but you notice that it doesn’t say so next to the picture, and the officers’ knuckles seem heavily bruised.
You know that your team will be laid off in two months, but you’re instructed by upper leadership to keep it confidential and avoid panic. As you ponder this, you learn that a few members of your team are making major life decisions, such as planning to buy real estate. A couple of others are facing huge medical bills after an accident and are heavily relying on their health insurance to avoid debt. Withholding the information becomes increasingly stressful, as the team discusses declining other job offers because they feel happy and secure where they are. Telling them early might cost you your managing position.
During your friend Pamela’s baby shower party, you notice that Alan, the soon-to-be father, is making weird moves on Pamela’s sister. At first, you don’t make anything of it, but as time passes, it becomes increasingly uncomfortable. When Alan confronts you about staring and tells you to mind your own business, you bump into Pamela, right before someone drags Alan by the hand into the bathroom. Pamela looks extremely happy, but asks you why you look like you’ve just seen a ghost. You’re unsure if Pamela knows, but it seems hard to miss.
Your elderly father with dementia frequently asks about your mom, forgetting that she’s passed away. From frequent visits, you know that lying might preserve his emotional stability in the short term, but it further distorts his understanding of reality, while telling the truth each time causes fresh grief and confusion, making the conversation difficult.
You discover your business partner has hidden significant debt that could threaten your company. As investors ask you directly about the company’s financial health, you realize that confronting your business partner directly could destroy trust and potentially collapse the business, but ignoring it risks even deeper financial disaster later.
Your new coworker confides in you that they secretly started running a side business using company time and resources. Their work performance is excellent, on par with yours, and management frequently praises them. Reporting it would likely result in their termination, while ignoring it would allow an unfair advantage and the misuse of company assets to keep your new coworker well-off. During a one-on-one meeting with your direct manager, they ask you what you think about the new hire.
This is not strictly a truth vs lie scenario. You could tell the truth i terms of his performance but decline to proffer additional information that was not requested.
Your partner bakes a delicious cake for your birthday, and you both have an amazing day together. You frequently show your appreciation during the day and tell them how much you enjoyed the cake they made. You think to yourself that it’s second only to your mom’s signature chocolate cake. At the end of the day, your partner jokingly asks if they’ve finally surpassed your mother’s cooking. They’re laughing, but their facial expression seems serious.
You applied to the same university as Joanna. You don’t make it, but Joanna does, and you learn that Joanna cheated on the entrance exam and secured the prestigious scholarship that could have gone to you. When you talk, Joanna insists it was a one-time mistake and promises to “make it up to you.” Later the same day, you receive a call from the university informing you that your paper was pulled from the race due to suspicions of cheating, but it might have been mixed up with someone else's.
How would your paperwork get mixed up? I don't get the scenario, it's not realistic.
You’re a lead researcher who discovers that a newly approved, life-saving drug causes severe, fatal organ failure in about 4% of patients due to a genetic anomaly. The drug is currently saving tens of thousands of terminal patients. Publicizing the truth will cause regulatory bodies to pull the drug globally. You decide you need more time to think about it, but the next day, your colleague asks you about the papers you left on your table.
You don't always have to choose to lie or tell the truth. Deflecting works, and citing privacy concerns does too. There's a way out without actually lying.
Too many of these would be better with a third options of keep your mouth shut or talk about something different whilst ignoring the question. I've used both of these before, as I will not lie for anyone. But I can use either of the above if the consequence of telling the truth is bad for someone I care about or telling the truth is not the Right Thing to do (but then we dip into ethics, which is a tough subject). A closed mouth gathers no foot.
I gave up after the first few as things aren't often this "cut & dry"... I'm unlikely to lie for someone I don't know and whose business I am not involved in. Example: I'd scream like a loon if I found a stranger in my lounge as I live alone with two cats- the authorities chasing the person wouldn't need me to confirm anything, as they'd have heard my terrified outburst. Don't care who you are- don't break into my house and expect my cooperation.
Almost all of these are scenarios where you just can't win either way.
You don't always have to choose to lie or tell the truth. Deflecting works, and citing privacy concerns does too. There's a way out without actually lying.
Too many of these would be better with a third options of keep your mouth shut or talk about something different whilst ignoring the question. I've used both of these before, as I will not lie for anyone. But I can use either of the above if the consequence of telling the truth is bad for someone I care about or telling the truth is not the Right Thing to do (but then we dip into ethics, which is a tough subject). A closed mouth gathers no foot.
I gave up after the first few as things aren't often this "cut & dry"... I'm unlikely to lie for someone I don't know and whose business I am not involved in. Example: I'd scream like a loon if I found a stranger in my lounge as I live alone with two cats- the authorities chasing the person wouldn't need me to confirm anything, as they'd have heard my terrified outburst. Don't care who you are- don't break into my house and expect my cooperation.
Almost all of these are scenarios where you just can't win either way.
