Woman Is Unsure Whether To Stay With Her Generally Useless Boyfriend, While Netizens Say “Run”

Sometimes even a person you think you’ve known very well for a long time can surprise you by turning out to be not what you expected. Whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a partner – people can be unpredictable. 

Like in the case of today’s author – before getting into a relationship with her boyfriend, she had known him for years. Yet, when they moved in together, she saw how lazy and even mean the man actually was. It drove her to the point that she started seriously considering ending it all.

More info: Mumsnet

Sometimes, even someone you believe you know well can turn out to be different from what you expected

A woman sitting on a bed, holding hands with a man, looking concerned about laziness issues.

Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)

A woman got into a relationship with her friend she had known for years, only to learn how different he is as a live-in boyfriend

Text about considering leaving a partner due to ongoing issues, highlighting relationship concerns.

Text message describing issues with a boyfriend's laziness and lack of support.

Text about woman doing most housework and working full-time while partner is unemployed and unmotivated.

Text discussing stress from reduced income and inactivity.

Woman in pink gloves feeling exhausted in kitchen, symbolizes issues with a lazy boyfriend.

Image credits: pixel-shot.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)

For instance, he barely helped her with the chores – only doing them when asked and imagining that it was enough

Text from frustrated woman about her boyfriend's laziness despite his lectures on it.

Text discussing a recurring problem and lack of tidying, related to laziness and responsibility issues.

Text describing a messy home, highlighting laziness and chores undone by woman's boyfriend.

Text about a mother's struggle with her son’s tantrum over chores and a boyfriend's laziness.

Man relaxing on a couch, symbolizing laziness, with a closed book on his chest and a remote in hand.

Image credits: Trzykropy / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Or barely contributing to the living expenses, as he was always either between jobs or sick and not working

Text discussing partner accusing son of laziness for not helping, threatening to withhold games unless behavior changes.

Text excerpt highlighting conflict over parenting and accusations of laziness in a relationship.

Text discusses a boyfriend's lack of help and defensiveness about laziness.

Text excerpt describing a woman’s issues with her boyfriend not helping or shopping, and rushing her and son.

Man lecturing a boy about laziness while the boy covers his ears at home.

Image credits: namii9 / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Besides that, he also mistreated the woman’s son – parenting him in a way his mom didn’t like, scolding him with no proper reason, and being mean to him overall

Text exchange about a lazy partner lecturing a woman's son, highlighting household responsibilities.

Text describing a disagreement over laziness with a partner storming out, witnessed by the narrator's son.

Text discussing a woman's boyfriend's defensiveness and unwillingness to resolve issues. Keywords: her son, laziness.

Image credits: Cherrycolacat

So, at some point the woman started considering ending the relationship – it was not working in a few different ways

The OP has known her boyfriend ever since they were 16, but started dating him only 2 years ago. So, since they were friends for such a long time, they thought they knew what they were getting into with each other when they moved in together. 

Yet, pretty soon it became apparent that they didn’t. Turns out, the boyfriend was useless when it came to household chores, which caused something that’s known as the “unfair division of household chores.” 

As the name suggests, it’s when the people living under one roof don’t do an equal amount of chores. Sadly, most of the time it means that the woman is the one who is responsible for all of it – from creating and maintaining schedules to childcare to the chores themselves. 

That’s what happened in the original poster’s case too. He helps with certain chores when asked, but most of the time he’s just lazy. For instance, he won’t clean up when the woman leaves, despite knowing she likes coming back to a clean home. And he imagines that’s him doing this part when very clearly it isn’t. Plus, he doesn’t even really help with the living costs either.

As you probably are aware, in recent times the cost of living has been increasing so much that sometimes it’s hard to keep up with it when you have several incomes, so just imagine how hard it is for the OP, who has to support them on only one income, since her man is often between jobs or sick and doesn’t work. 

Woman with head down, hugging knees on a sofa, reflecting on boyfriend's laziness and lectures about her son.

Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Granted, the man isn’t the only person in that household who is negligent towards chores – OP’s son is also guilty of the same. Yet, that boy is a teenager in his defiant phase, during which kids tend to push against what’s expected and asked of them. While some teens get involved in risky behaviors during this phase, others just start not getting along with their families as well as before. 

It often leads to fights between them and family members, usually parents – something that happens in today’s story. What made matters worse was that the woman’s boyfriend decided to step into parenting shoes and scold the boy for being lazy. But remember what we discussed previously – he himself is lazy too. So, basically, he was scolding a boy for something he did himself. 

What’s even worse is that the man knows that his partner doesn’t like such a parenting style, which, as could’ve been expected, made the boy’s tantrum even worse. Additionally, overall the man is kind of mean to him – he snaps at him, lectures him basically for nothing, and stuff like that. 

All of that combined makes the woman doubt whether she wants to stay in this relationship – it doesn’t seem to be working on many fronts. Well, in netizens’ eyes, she should leave – this man doesn’t contribute anything to their household’s well-being and is mean to her son. Not a good combo. After all, staying with someone bad for you just for the sake of staying isn’t a good choice for anyone. 

We can only hope that she did exactly that. The man seems annoying to say the least, and every woman deserves someone better than that, don’t they?  

Netizens urged the woman to do exactly that – to them, the man seemed like a lazy, mean human being, someone who didn’t deserve her

Text comment addressing woman's boyfriend's laziness and son's wellbeing advice.

Comment criticizing a lazy boyfriend who lectures about laziness while contributing nothing, suggesting it's time to leave.

Comment advising woman to end a relationship with a lazy partner.

Text critique on a boyfriend's laziness and treatment of a woman's son.

Text discussion about a lazy boyfriend lecturing a woman's son, suggesting it's time to leave.

Comment urging a mother to remove lazy boyfriend from her son’s life.

Comment suggesting lock change due to boyfriend's laziness issue.

Text screenshot advising a woman to end a relationship with her boyfriend due to concerns about her child.

Text comment about a lazy boyfriend who won't contribute, urging breakup.

Feedback comment about a lazy boyfriend lecturing woman's son on laziness.

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