Man Asks Partner With OCD To Start Getting Ready 2 Hrs In Advance, Leaves Him When He’s Still Late

Everyone has their quirks, preferences and, yes, difficulties. Living with a romantic partner does tend to create some tension that has to be managed, even if you really do love each other. This is just as true when it comes to mental health. Many couples have stumbled into the realization that you can love someone and still find their behavior very, very annoying.

A man asked the internet for advice about his partner’s OCD, after he would constantly make them late for things. We reached out to the man who made the post via private message and will update the article when he gets back to us.

Having a neurodivergent partner means learning to navigate how they see the world

Man in a suit anxiously checking time on his watch, representing stress related to OCD and punctuality.

Image credits: drobotdean / freepik (not the actual photo)

But one man ended up leaving his partner at home after his OCD was going to make them late

Text about a partner's OCD causing delays to events, including dinner parties.

Text describing a dinner party invite and preparations, highlighting OCD-related delays and the importance of the event.

Text about leaving partner due to OCD-related delays before a dinner party.

Text about being late due to traffic, partner upset, and career impact.

Text discussing partner's OCD affecting relationship dynamics.

Man sitting on bed with head in hands, appearing stressed; related to OCD and relationship issues.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Text about partner's OCD routines causing communication challenges.

Image credits: Fit_Confection_772

OCD is often misunderstood

Image credits: Simon Scarfe / flickr (not the actual photo)

Just like ADHD, OCD is one of those behavioral disorders that gets often mentioned in media or just online, but is still quite misunderstood. The most prominent and visible part of OCD, as was also seen in this story, is the need to constantly act on “compulsions” which, until handled, cause the person to feel distressed.

Some of the more common compulsions are around things most of us would see as good, in moderation. For example, cleaning your hands (hygienic), checking if the oven is off multiple times (safe) or hoarding (saving things for later.) However, as anyone who has lived with someone like this can attest to, if left unchecked, this can end up being massively detrimental to living.

Hoarding is a great example, with folks living in filth because they just can’t bear the idea of throwing out a newspaper from 1997. It’s important to remember that not everyone with OCD has symptoms this extreme, but it also is an example of what can happen when this condition isn’t managed properly.

The “typical” amount of time “spent” (or wasted, depending on your perspective) on compulsions is about one hour, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Assuming that the man’s partner in this story also has other compulsions throughout the day, that would make him a pretty normal case.

There are ways to help folks with OCD live fuller lives

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Fortunately, there are treatments for OCD, starting with the obvious, yet often ignored therapy. Specifically, exposure and response prevention (ERP) is often used for folks who, like this man, struggle with compulsions. In short, the person is exposed to something that tends to trigger their compulsion, be it unwashed hands or impending dinner plans. Exposure to certain stressors can, in time, build resistance.

They are then supposed to, with some guidance and assistance, not act on their compulsion but just move on with their lives. Many specialists suggest this method as it avoids use of medication which comes with the risk of side effects or other complications. Similarly, this “treatment” can be replicated and repeated if the person with OCD develops new compulsions in the future.

There are other treatments as well, which all underline the fact that OCD can be managed. This person’s partner does not seem to have a particularly severe case, but the fact that it seems to be getting worse is cause for concern. Unlike many other mental disorders, the fact that one can measure this man’s OCD down to the minute is at least an easy way to track its progress.

The man does share an update later, which can be found below, and, spoiler alert, it’s mostly positive. Some commenters even suggested that he is a jerk for not intervening earlier, as it’s pretty clear his partner does need help. It’s important to note that many neurodivergent people can sometimes struggle to see how their behavior affects others and will not necessarily take the necessary steps to help themselves alone.

Most folks thought he had a point

Reddit user comment discussing partner's OCD affecting quality of life and suggesting seeking professional help.

Text discussing OCD challenges in relationships, highlighting impacts on daily life and support dynamics.

Reddit comment discussing partner's OCD issues and the need for professional help.

Reddit comment on OCD affecting punctuality at dinner parties, suggesting partner seek help.

Reddit comment about partner's ADHD making them late, suggesting professional help.

Reddit comment discussing a partner's OCD causing lateness to social events.

Text discussing OCD and relationship challenges impacting social events.

Text advice on dealing with OCD in relationships, mentioning ultimatums and self-care.

Screenshot of a comment discussing the challenges of offering support to friends with OCD.

Comment on a Reddit post discussing OCD and relationship dynamics, emphasizing independent travel arrangements.

Text discussing managing OCD and setting personal boundaries for mental well-being.

A comment discussing a partner's OCD and therapy.

Text post response about partner's OCD affecting punctuality.

Reddit comment discussing relationship issues related to OCD.

Reddit comment discussing the impact of OCD on a relationship and justifying leaving a partner at home.

Text post discussing leaving a partner due to their OCD and anxiety issues affecting daily life.

Text on balancing mental health help in relationships, mentioning anxiety and ultimatum.

Comment advising therapy and defending someone's choice to prioritize timely arrival at a career event.

Comment discussing OCD and its impact on relationships, suggesting not to sacrifice personal life.

Comment discussing OCD affecting punctuality at events.

Text discussing a relationship affected by OCD, focusing on germ and hand-washing obsessions.

Reddit comment discussing relationship challenges related to OCD and responsibility.

A Reddit comment discussing OCD, therapy, and supporting partners in relationships.

Comment discussing OCD and control issues, suggesting help is needed.

Text comment discussing the impact of OCD on relationship dynamics and the necessity of setting boundaries.

A few thought he was an enabler

Reddit comment discussing OCD and mental illness in response to a relationship situation.

Reddit comment about partner OCD challenges and needing support.

Reddit comment about leaving partner because of OCD, stating it's unfair and coworkers were indifferent to lateness.

Text from a forum discussing OCD and relationship challenges.

Reddit comment discussing OCD's impact on relationships and partner understanding.

User comment about leaving partner due to OCD, highlighting medical condition concerns.

Reddit comment criticizing someone for leaving a partner due to OCD-related lateness, mentioning life priorities.

Comment discussing challenges of living with OCD and relationship advice.

Other readers just saw it as a messy situation in general

Text exchange discussing the impact of OCD on a relationship and managing priorities.

Text response about OCD affecting relationships and decision-making at a dinner party.

Comment discussing partner's OCD, need for treatment, and communication challenges in a relationship.

Later, he shared an update

Text discussing partner's OCD causing lateness, seeking therapy appointment after conversation with mother-in-law.

Text thanking users for advice in a discussion about OCD affecting punctuality.

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