Dad Texts Wife The Kitchen Is On Fire Because He’s Mad She Left Him With Baby Longer Than Expected, It Backfires When Cops Show Up

Wow. Just... wow. This dude has serious problems that need to be addressed immediately. He thinks she lied to him, which is an unbelievably moronic thing to say, so his solution is to lie to her about the kitchen being on fire; WTF? Him and his family all sound like utter c**ts. He's throwing a temper tantrum because he has to look after the son he created and his family are angry because it was his one day off; He should’ve been looking forward to spending a whole day with his son. What's the point of being a parent if he's going to whinge about spending an incredibly short amount of time with his child? If what this woman says is completely accurate, there are so many red flags it looks like a field of poppies… or a field of red flags even :-) This is abhorrent, it’s emotional abuse. Either she needs to leave him or they both go to some sort of counselling. For the sake of their kid, at least. Hopefully their son will never know about this.

He's actually abusive and needs to grow up, show her some respect, look after his child as well. ( he's not the babysitter!) Im glad the sister called the cops. Hopefully next time mum goes out she can enjoy 4 hours on her own.

Where do you all find these man-babies and why do you have actual babies with them?

My worst fear is that you commit and go through crucial steps of the relationship and then it turns out like that. Like you weren't able to see the signs before or even there were no signs before that.

This guy is a control freak. He should relish the father and son time. Once you miss those moments, they don't come again. I sometimes am exhausted at the end of the day but I still put our son to bed and read to or listen to him read even though I am yawning through it. When my wife has gone out to the salon or anywhere without our son, I just enjoy the time we have. I may get a call saying from her saying she is delayed but big whoop. Take your time. Things are fine here. The only time I have called her when she is out is when our son was really missing her and was getting upset she wasnt there.

OMG, divorce this jerk. You're not a person to him; you're just a housecleaner and childcare provider who's not entitled to a life of your own. If you stay, this will become worse and worse over time, and he will eventually become abusive. Look at the way he absolved himself of all responsibility for the mess he created.

When our son was born before he passed in his sleep....my husband encouraged me to go out and take a breather. Parenting is a coexistence. This husband sounds like an abusive power hungry man. I'd personally leave him asap. Can't give her a break and spend time with your own child? Fk that. Get out now. Use the phone call and texts against him for full custody. Clearly he is unstable.

To me this is less about him not being willing to take care of the baby and much much MUUUUCCCCHHH more about him withholding money from her / stealing from her essentially. What he makes is THEIR money, not entirely just his. So if she wants to spend her own money on a babysitter, that’s not at all up to him. I get that he’s tired and that watching a child is miserable, but that’s what babysitters and nannies are for. He shouldn’t even have a say in it whatsoever since he’s basically agreed he’s not associated with child rearing in his family. It’s completely not his decision and it’s not his money.

It's clear he doesn't even love his own child if he dreads having to spend time with him.

Being annoyed at your partner being two hours later than agreed and ignoring all texts and calls is normal - the wife should have sent him an updated estimate of when she would get home. But a father not being willing to care for his own kid for a couple of hours, texting constantly before she's expected back, lying about a house fire to panic her.... total asshole moves. Run far, run fast. If all he's contributing to the family is money and drama, she may be better off taking alimony and child support, and leaving the man-child.

ESH. Everyone here has covered all the reasons why the guy sucks and I agree, but I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the woman turning her phone off and giving herself an extra 2 hours while ignoring her spouse. I can't think of any circumstance where being that late and non-responsive is acceptable. Just because he is selfish and inconsiderate doesn't mean that she gets a free pass to be the same.

He's an abusive a**hole, who manipulates and gaslights you, FOR NO F*CKING REASON!!! I mean like, come on. When you're conceiving your kid, you're basically consenting to CARING for your kid and paying attention to them and BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM-FOR THEIR WHOLE F*CKING LIFE-NOT JUST 2 HOURS OR 4 HOURS, BUT THIR WHOLE F*CKING LIFE!!!!!!!! Bring your kid, leave him, and run. You deserve better.

NTA, this guy is a whiny little baby man. Tell him to grow up, it's called PARENTING, not babysitting when you're the damn father. What an idiot. I’m surprised he can even hold a job if he can’t even manage to watch his own child for a few hours. I say give the little baby man his bottle, and go find an actual adult to be with, this dude sounds like he's always going to be an annoying burden.

I am going to try to be calm because this whole thing pisses me off: Being a parent is a 24/7 gig. You don't get to decide that it is someone else's responsibility and you don't have to do anything. This guy is a horrible father and if I was the OP I would start getting ready to file for divorce. In fact, I would use these text messages as evidence to get full custody. It is absolutely ridiculous that he couldn't watch his son for a few hours and then pulled a stunt like this in order to get her to come home. He wasted the time of the police, the fire department, and he scared his wife nearly half to death. His family is just as terrible as he is and I would never let them see the baby ever again. Marriage and parenting is a partnership and if you are unwilling to be a part of it then you have no business being married or being a parent.

I'd get rid of the father - you seem to be doing fine without him, considering he does f**k all anyway, but you will then be open to find someone who actually cares about you and your child and realises that a child is a 24/7 commitment and that mothers need to rest sometimes too. He honestly sounds like a lazy, entitled crybaby.

People need to start doing serious, in depth questioning and observation of potential breeding partners. For at least 5 years before spitting out a cum trophy. I am not defending this heinous person (I wont say man because this specimen does not deserve the title by any metric) but I refuse to believe this kind of behaviour just came out of the blue. If you breed with an arsehole they will not suddenly become decent.

I believe this one ultimately got an "everyone sucks here" because she took twice the amount of time without telling him and then shut her phone off.

It's his child too! And his is treating her like absolute crap! "2 hours and not a minute more"..WTF is her her husband/partner or her father?! And she said "thankyou" ..Yeah,Nah.My advice, dump his lying, manipulative ,man/baby @rse.

Yeah I can already smell what kind of upstand this is. They're everywhere and always in a hurry to get married. Yes his job is very demanding but he probably already knew that and you guys shouldn't have gotten pregnant unless he was gonna find time to raise the baby

That's going to suck for him when you divorce him and he has to watch his kid every other weekend by himself.

I'm not a violent man, but whenever I see or hear these stories about a (purported) man who doesn't think his child's welfare and happiness is of paramount importance, above any other personal wants and interests, I just imagine giving a couple of swift, hard slaps about the face and the admonishment to "Wake up and get your sh!t together, you selfish, petulant asshole !" Just a fantasy, I know, but it's mine.

The guy sounds like a proper asshat.

A clear case of a person who should divorce their spouse before having anymore children and before their current child has retained memories of their lives together if ever I have seen one. What a psycho, please don’t stop working because this is a fool you can’t trust for anything. Hate to see it, but whoop there it is.

I don't know if anyone has said this already, but OP says the husband plays with and sleeps with the kid at night. Does that mean Mum gets nights off? If so, I can kinda understand why the guy is so tired and really looks forward to his day off!

I have corrected sooo many men saying they had to "baby sit" on the weekend while their wives were working... if it is YOUR child it is not baby sitting, it is taking care of your gd child...

He needs to man-up. He has to know how to handle the child, Mom isn't invincible, at a moment's notice, she could become ill or injured. He will need to be both parents for more than 4 hours. My own mother had a heart attack, so I had to leave to be at the hospital with the other members of the family. Any number of things would provoke a need for a guy to be the one to provide care, he has to be prepared for that.

NTA. And wow, that husband is such an AH. I get it that he has a really demanding job, but that's not really an excuse to whine about looking after your child for 4 hours on your day off. My father worked from 7am-11pm many nights and still wouldn't ignore me and my sister or whine about watching us, because he loved us (our mom was a SAHM). This husband sounds like he never wanted children, and if he did want children he apparently thinks he has zero responsibility for them. The fact that he faked a fire to scare his wife into coming home is beyond immature. I also wonder why the wife doesn't have a car? It could be that they simply don't have one, but i have a strong suspicion that the family has a car but only the husband drives it. I will add that i do think the wife should have at least shot him a text to let him know she would be out later. But in the grand scheme of things this probably wouldn't have mattered and he would have bitched and moaned anyway.

Typical covertly abusive behavior. They harass every 10 to 15 minutes so that the victim begins to think the aggravation isn't worth ever leaving the house. Then the victim becomes more and more controlled and isolated from loved ones and friends. Sounds like he's also gaslighting by telling her she's the problem after the abusive baby lied about a fire.

Leave. You are nothing more than breeding cattle, the nanny, the maid and his metaphorical punching bag for abuse. You're treated as a slave instead of a partner, you won't find respect ever from this man, he's the head honcho breadwinner and you're just the little woman to birth his spawn, wipe his butt and chew his food for him. Sadly, like many women everywhere involved with toxic males, you're unfortunately married to a fuc*ing Ferengi.

WTF? She has to beg and plead for some time away from the house and Daddy throws a hissy fit when she's late??? Like a child, he tries to manipulate her by faking a fire?? He's taking no responsibility for his actions?? I'm sorry honey but you deserve better. Maybe counseling can help his denial about being a father! OP is definitely NTA!!!

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It is mentioned his job is 'demanding'. What us his job? And also, why do you not work rather than be sahm? Is this because he forced this on you or was it your choice? He sounds a but controlling but more context is needed on this. What was your prior agreement or did he just dictate to you? Also, maybe you should have not out your phone on silent when you knew it would be more than 2 hours considering this guy sounds like he was always going to keep calling and harassing you until you answered. Nta. But I feel there may be more to this

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I wish women would stop breeding with those f*cktards! It just ends in divorce and single-parenthood on a meagre income. No, she is not the asshole in this situation but she is still a dumb b*tch because she had a child with that man and she created this set-up. Find a decent father for your children, one that is actually keen on loving and raising a child, not just providing the financial background. The world is overpopulated, anyway.

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All I can say, another woman who chose to marry an a-hole and even have kids with him then complains when he behaves as an a-hole. I am certain there were red flags, but she ignored them. Full stop. Of course, she is not at fault here, but the whole situation would not have happened if she made better choices in life.