Guy Asks If He Acted Like A Jerk For Not Moving From A Bench Despite A Woman Saying He Made Her Uncomfortable
Taking public transport alone at night can be scary for women. It’s unfortunate that they can’t feel safe just trying to travel without the fear of a stranger near them and what they might do. Men are also conscious of how women feel in this situation too, and consider their own presence in an attempt to alleviate their concerns.
However, one man on Reddit shared his story of a late-night transit and an encounter with a woman who was unhappy with how “close” he was to her. Explaining his situation and finding it hard to believe what she told him, he asked if he was in the wrong for refusing to move from his spot whilst waiting for a train at night.
Read the story below for all the details.
Image credits: Flickr (not the actual photo)
The discomfort of traveling alone by public transport is a familiar scenario for women, especially at night. The fear of physical or sexual harassment is one of the most jarring feelings involved with what should be a simple journey. Sadly, it’s an ongoing issue that women have to be aware of.
In a paper published by the International Transport Forum, a 2017 report in Ile-de-France found that 39% of all sexual assaults against women took place at train stations. It’s one of the factors that puts women off from using public transport and forces them to make other travel arrangements, such as taking a taxi. However, when there are no other alternatives, public transport can seem like the last resort. It’s something that needs to be resolved to make women safer in traveling in urban areas.
A man on Reddit explains how he was waiting for a train home after finishing work late at night
However, he’s asked to move away from a woman that feels uncomfortable sharing a bench with him
He refuses and apologizes saying he’s tired after work and just wants to wait for the train
Feeling frustrated, she swears at him and storms off, leaving him to wonder if he was in the wrong
Image credits: ladyatstop
People understood why she might have said this but explained what they would do in a similar situation
One solution to address the problem involves looking at the facilities of train stations in cities. According to K. Jane Williams, the Administrator of the Department of Transportation in the US, it’s “clear that the environment around transit infrastructure makes a difference in both actual safety and the perception of safety”. She explained further: “This means, for example, designing infrastructure with adequate lighting and clear sight-lines, and eliminating nooks, corners, and isolated areas that may facilitate assaults.”
There are a number of other measures that can help to reduce crime in public transport stations. The Los Angeles Metro bus system implemented changes to help improve the safety of commuters such as: a greater presence of police and security in public areas, CCTV cameras to document and deter potential criminals, and further training for transit operators to identify and de-escalate difficult situations. As a result, they recorded a 39% decrease in total crime between 2017 and 2018 in their network.
I understand that women can be uncomfortable and concerned about their safety but there are limits. He was exhausted from work, was not talking to her, or flirting or doing anything except sitting on the opposite end of the bench. What else could he do?
Honestly nothing. Phone out and headphones on is pretty universal for wanting to be left alone/ not paying attention to other people in public.
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I feel like there was something else going on. If she'd really thought he was creepy, she would have never talked to him in the first place. She would have left quietly.
She confronted him like a smaller dog showing dominance to a bigger dog. "You must leave; I will protect myself!" As a pretty small woman, I have to say, the last thing I would do if I wanted to avoid a dangerous situation is pick a fight with a person who could harm me. This is was just a petty power play.
Load More Replies... Its a public bench you can't tell someone not to sit because you are uncomfortable. And if she was really uncomfortable she would have moved without making a scene
Exactly. She wouldn't have talked to someone like that if they were a threat. He had every right to sit there, and as she's the one with the issue she should move.
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I understand that women can be uncomfortable and concerned about their safety but there are limits. He was exhausted from work, was not talking to her, or flirting or doing anything except sitting on the opposite end of the bench. What else could he do?
Honestly nothing. Phone out and headphones on is pretty universal for wanting to be left alone/ not paying attention to other people in public.
Load More Replies... I feel like there was something else going on. If she'd really thought he was creepy, she would have never talked to him in the first place. She would have left quietly.
She confronted him like a smaller dog showing dominance to a bigger dog. "You must leave; I will protect myself!" As a pretty small woman, I have to say, the last thing I would do if I wanted to avoid a dangerous situation is pick a fight with a person who could harm me. This is was just a petty power play.
Load More Replies... Its a public bench you can't tell someone not to sit because you are uncomfortable. And if she was really uncomfortable she would have moved without making a scene
Exactly. She wouldn't have talked to someone like that if they were a threat. He had every right to sit there, and as she's the one with the issue she should move.
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