Discussion Online Ensues After Woman Shares How Her 2 Y.O. Kid Is So Well Behaved In Public But Is Uncontrollable At Home
Parenthood is both an incredibly wonderful and very difficult thing. Wonderful – because literally every day gives you new discoveries, new emotions. Difficult – because these discoveries and emotions are far from being always pleasant.
For example, many parents have encountered the fact that their toddlers, so well-mannered and calm in public, sometimes allow themselves to throw real tantrums at home. Sometimes it goes away on its own, sometimes you need the help of a child psychologist. In any case, tantrums are an objective reality of many parents.
For example, Lucy Huber, a writer and editor based in Washington, DC, often writes about her parenting experiences, and her tweet recently went viral, with nearly 84.5K likes and over 1.9K retweets, as well as sparking a massive discussion.
More info: Twitter
The Original Poster tweeted about her toddler’s tantrum after a long journey
Image credits: Jonty (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster told the story of how her 2-year-old son endured a two-hour drive to the airport, and another two hours waiting there – where he just read a book. The hour-long flight quietly passed with the child joyfully watching “Finding Nemo”, and the bus ride, where he laughed…
Image credits: clhubes
Image credits: clhubes
The OP also admits that almost every leg of the journey was accompanied by French fries and cookies
…and then there was a 15-minute drive to their house, where the kid could not stand it and burst into hysterics. To be honest, Lucy admitted that all those legs, with the exception of the last car ride, were accompanied by French fries and cookies. This is certainly an important condition, but still, the situation turned out to be similar for many people.
Image credits: clhubes
Image credits: clhubes
Image credits: clhubes
The problem turned out to be very common for many people in the comments
Needless to say, many parents have faced such problems. For example, in one commenter’s own words, “Toddlers at home look like they’re completely dissatisfied with their lives, but they look perfectly happy anywhere else.”
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Another commenter faced a similar situation, as they were flying with two children, a two-year-old and a nine-month-old, from Canada to Japan – and just on the last leg, both children had meltdowns too. For another person in the thread, their two-year-old calmly endured the flight to Germany and back – however, burst into tears upon approaching the door of their sweet home.
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Image credits: Joopey (not the actual photo)
Psychologists say that tantrums are part and parcel of toddler’s age
“Toddlers want independence and control over their environment – more than they can actually handle,” tells Elizabeth M. Schilling, PhD, for Kids Health. “Tantrums may happen when kids are tired, hungry, or uncomfortable. Learning to deal with frustration is a skill that children gain over time.”
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Dr. Schilling’s opinion is confirmed by other people in the thread. Commenters admit that the OP’s son really knows how to cope with his emotions at such a young age, and how to postpone the almost inevitable tantrum until the moment when he feels he’s in a safe place.
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It’s very important for kids to feel safe so they express emotions violently only in a familiar place or with familiar people
“It’s really important for a child to feel safe – with people they trust in an environment they know well,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP professional, who was contacted by Bored Panda for comment. “With any active manifestation of feelings and emotions – and hysteria also applies to those, it is important for the kid to feel safe.”
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“In fact, toddlers have nothing wrong with periodic tantrums – they just learn to express their emotions in the process of speech development,” notes Irina Matveeva. “Any long journey fills the child’s brain with new impressions, new experiences, in addition to the fact that the kid simply gets tired. Not always they can express everything in words at this age, so with the accumulation of emotions and fatigue, everything turns into a tantrum.”
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“In the future, when the child learns to fully express the accumulated emotions through speech, the need for tantrums will gradually disappear. All this, of course, is relevant if the kid grows up in a healthy atmosphere,” states Irina.
Image credits: MegStEsprit
Children’s tantrums have taken place at all times, with all children
By the way, children’s tantrums are not a hallmark of modern upbringing, as some people used to believe. In fact, they have always been there. This is confirmed by other discussion participants in Lucy Huber’s thread – for example, one of the commenters admitted that she behaved very well in public as a child – and even loved compliments. But at home she often gave hell to her parents…
Image credits: momiicita
We are almost sure that you have something to say about this discussion, and perhaps you yourself have a story of your own about childhood tantrums – with your own children or in your childhood. Just feel free to tell us about it in the comments!
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LOVE the response about child reading War and Peace then writing a thesis! Big lol.
I loved that response as well! But I also hope that if that skeptic has kids, someone explains to them that giving kids access to books *before* they can read is an essential step to them learning to read. They don't achieve a certain age then just evolve like Pokemon and gain Read ability before ever setting eyes on a book. The earlier they have access to books the better, and the more they are encouraged to memorize stories and follow along with stories even just through looking at pictures, the stronger their reading comprehension will be once they actually start reading. They make books for literal infants that are waterproof and rip proof that babies just chew on until they realize they can look at the pictures.
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when i was growing up, me and my sister were so well behaved outside or when we were in other people's house. at home is a different story. i think that is normal.
Ideally yes. Kids are going to throw at least a few tantrums in their life and we all hope that will happen in our own homes.
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LOVE the response about child reading War and Peace then writing a thesis! Big lol.
I loved that response as well! But I also hope that if that skeptic has kids, someone explains to them that giving kids access to books *before* they can read is an essential step to them learning to read. They don't achieve a certain age then just evolve like Pokemon and gain Read ability before ever setting eyes on a book. The earlier they have access to books the better, and the more they are encouraged to memorize stories and follow along with stories even just through looking at pictures, the stronger their reading comprehension will be once they actually start reading. They make books for literal infants that are waterproof and rip proof that babies just chew on until they realize they can look at the pictures.
Load More Replies... when i was growing up, me and my sister were so well behaved outside or when we were in other people's house. at home is a different story. i think that is normal.
Ideally yes. Kids are going to throw at least a few tantrums in their life and we all hope that will happen in our own homes.
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