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147
Teens Will Bail On Aunt’s Wedding 3 Weeks In Advance After Facing Backlash From Her In An Argument
Families fight; trust me, it’s as natural as breathing because, in the end, it’s only with the people closest to us that we express our anger. Sometimes, it’s wise not to take these family feuds seriously as you might end up doing something rash that you regret later.
Even the original poster’s (OP) kids were caught up in a family feud after their aunt claimed that competition from their private school was making education difficult for her son. After she immediately said that her son’s education was more important, the angry niece and nephew decided to ditch her wedding!
More info: Mumsnet
RELATED:
At times, it’s best not to take family feuds seriously, or we might end up doing something we regret later
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster’s daughter was set to be a bridesmaid and her son an usher in her sister-in-law’s wedding in 3 weeks’ time
Image credits: comfortablynumber
Image credits: Julia M Cameron / Pexels (not the actual photo
During a family dinner, a feud erupted after the poster’s son mentioned how he was planning to apply for the local school and leave his private school
Image credits: comfortablynumber
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The sister-in-law’s son also wants to apply to the local school, so she got furious with the niece and nephew and said her son deserves better education
Image credits: comfortablynumber
They were angry and refused to attend her wedding, so the poster is now torn as she also understands things from the sister-in-law’s point of being a mom concerned about her kid
Yet again, we dive into a story about a family feud that erupted 3 weeks before OP’s sister-in-law’s wedding, where her daughter was set to be a bridesmaid and her son an usher. Both her kids are in a private school, but her sister-in-law disapproves of this as her kid is in another school.
During a family lunch, the subject of education popped up and the poster expressed how her kids are planning to apply for the local state school for 6th form as the private school is very expensive. This was what set off the kids’ aunt because even her son wants to apply there, but with kids from private schools, the competition may be really fierce.
The aunt said she finds it unfair that her son might not get in, but then she went a step ahead and said that her nephew should go anywhere else as he would do fine. Basically, she blatantly meant that her son should have a better education than them, so, of course, the two kids were angry to find out how little their aunt cares about them.
The poster, on the other hand, is still sympathetic to the aunt’s son as she knows he has really struggled in his school and his grades also haven’t been too good, so the competition will definitely be tough for him. The fight grew so tense that OP’s mother-in-law literally burst into tears and that’s when people calmed down a little.
Now, the real conundrum arose as the poster’s kids simply refused to attend the wedding after what their aunt said to them. The mom knows that the kids love their aunt and they will later regret not going. Also, they’re kids and don’t know the consequences it could have on the entire family.
She posted her problem online and sought advice from netizens, and as usual, they didn’t disappoint.
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo
As per Statista, in 2023, the average fee for one year at a private school in the UK was 16,656 British pounds; no wonder the kids are planning to apply for a local state school. They have every right to do so, and the aunt has no right to blame them for it or state that they don’t deserve a better education.
People also mentioned that they understood the kids’ anger towards her, but they advised that they just see it through for one day, or else they will just intensify the whole conflict. Not to forget, the poster also mentioned that all the wedding preparation is done.
A study states that, on average, a bridesmaid spends around $1200 on a wedding, which is a lot! OP’s daughter is a bridesmaid, so she must’ve spent a lot not just on her but also on her son. Canceling at the last minute in this manner would be very troublesome for the aunt.
Some Redditors commented that they understood the plight of the woman who simply wants a better education for her son, which all parents want. However, they felt that with the stress of the wedding, she displaced her anger in the wrong place, her niece and nephew. They said that the poster must be stuck in a very tricky situation and handling it delicately is key to keeping the family relations intact.
Folks also said that the poster seems very kind as she has thought about the situation from her kids’ as well as their aunt’s perspective. When someone said something nasty about the aunt in the comments, she jumped to her rescue and mentioned that she is actually a good person and she understood why she snapped at that point.
Well, that’s all from our end, now we hand the mic over to you, so just jot down your thoughts in the comments!
Many folks advised that even if the aunt was wrong, the kids should go to the wedding as they may regret it later if they don’t
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What do you think ?
Sunny Day 1 year ago
If school is a marathon, OPs kids got a paid ride to 20ft from the finish line, while the other kids had to run the whole way. But the prizes go to whoever finishes first, no matter how they got there. There is the same thing in the US. Some states give scholarships to the top student in every high school. So you have a student who is #5 in their school, who knows they can't win there. So they switch to a poorer school for their last year, where they are now #1. And the poor kid who previously had the #1 spot there, who went to that school district his whole life, with old tech, violence, d***s in the halls, etc - he's now #2 and won't be getting a scholarship out. SIL is right. OPs kids are screwing over the cheap school students.
Load More Replies...
Gen X Feral 1 year ago
I haven't the foggiest fluckin idea wth is going on except it's about going to school. I feel like I just got lmnop'd to death after barely through the first 2 paragraphs. In the US it's kindergarten then 1st through 12th, then college, boom.
Load More Replies...
Debbie 1 year ago
Same... Didn't even get the ages of the kids...(Later on that mention teenagers, and going to another school so I think 12?
Load More Replies...
marcelo D. 1 year ago
I love the amount of comments here saying “the kids should suck it up, they are children and they don’t know their actions would have long lasting consequences”, yet none of this people seem to grasp that the aunt is an adult, and should have grasp all the consequences her actions would have… weird
lenka 1 year ago
I think the children sound a little entitled and that this is an excellent opportunity to teach them just how privileged they are and exactly how much they personally have benefited from a user pays education system. Then enlighten them what it's like for their cousin, who didn't get those opportunities due to financial constraints and try and make them understand WHY she is upset. Finally, ask them how they would feel if their aunt boycotted their weddings/graduations/other events due to an injustice over which they had little control. If the kids still don't understand their privilege and respect their aunt's position then both the parent and their expensive education have failed them.
marcelo D. 1 year ago
their aunt is literally telling them they should go to inferior schools because her son is more important and he deserves everything (even stuff he literally doesn't qualify for) and f**k their future. But since you saw the phrase "private school" you made a 100% prejudgement and decided that nothing else matters.
Load More Replies...
Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 1 year ago
Can someone explain the British school system for the Americans who don't get it? Americans go to HS for 4 years (9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade). I've always thought our 12th grade was the equivalent of A levels?
JK 1 year ago
Ok, UK has Infant school, which is Reception (ages 4-5), Year 1 (5-6) Year 2 (6-7), then Junior school covers Years 3-6 (ages 7-11). A Primary school is one that covers Infants-Juniors (4-11). Secondary School is more like American High School, which is Years 7-11 (ages 11-16), after that you have either College or Sixth Form. Sixth Form is ages 16-18/9 and is within a School, College is similar but is it's own facility and any age can go to learn there, you tend to do vocational/trade (NVQ) courses or "A levels" which are basically advanced versions of subjects but not degree/masters level. University is just like it is in the States. Hope this helps (it is confusing!)
Load More Replies... CBolt 1 year ago (edited)
SIL's anger is misplaced. She's angry with the system & resentful that OP's children have had private education, while her son has gone to rather cr***y schools, which is a terrible thing for him. But there's an undertone of "blame" leveled at OP's family - the parents for having been able to afford private schools & the kids for attending them. And because adding private school kids to the competition will be "unfair" to the students that haven't had the advantages OP's children have, & particularly to SIL's son (I didn't get the impression he would be able to make it thru the competion with flying colors in the 1st place, or at least not be a shoo-in), they should withdraw from it. "He'll be fine anywhere," said abt OP's son - how cavalier. Of course she's angry at the system but she didn't need to take it out on OP's family & some of things she said applied specifically to the children. I don't blame the kids for not wanting to be in the wedding. And SIL's getting that out of control, at the dinner table no less (not the place for political discussions, which is what this comes down to, with some social policy & class consciousness thrown in for good measure), was entirely inappropriate & she needs to apologize - not for having opinions, but for pressing them until things got out of control & for making her remarks personal. (Not cutting her any slack just because she's getting married.) If she wants the wedding party to be what she had planned, a simple, "I'm sorry I let that get out of control - you know how much I care abt you & I'd be so disappointed if you're not in the wedding" & no "unfair," "my son," blah, blah, blah. As for telling the kids to suck it up, smile, & be pleasant & happy for their aunt, obviously they're well brought up but ..... they're teenagers.As angry & hurt as they are, it might be a bit difficult to pull that off
Pamela Blue 1 year ago
I believe they should go to the wedding and keep civil for family reasons. There are really no good reasons for missing it. Having said that, all the "excuses" for why SIL's son didn't get high marks in school do sound like excuses. If he really wanted high marks, he would study himself and even a bad teacher wouldn't stop him. I think he's probably an average kid who, sadly, is running educationally behind two higher achievers, and SIL is just having difficulty accepting it.
Sunny Day 1 year ago
If school is a marathon, OPs kids got a paid ride to 20ft from the finish line, while the other kids had to run the whole way. But the prizes go to whoever finishes first, no matter how they got there. There is the same thing in the US. Some states give scholarships to the top student in every high school. So you have a student who is #5 in their school, who knows they can't win there. So they switch to a poorer school for their last year, where they are now #1. And the poor kid who previously had the #1 spot there, who went to that school district his whole life, with old tech, violence, d***s in the halls, etc - he's now #2 and won't be getting a scholarship out. SIL is right. OPs kids are screwing over the cheap school students.
Load More Replies... Gen X Feral 1 year ago
I haven't the foggiest fluckin idea wth is going on except it's about going to school. I feel like I just got lmnop'd to death after barely through the first 2 paragraphs. In the US it's kindergarten then 1st through 12th, then college, boom.
Load More Replies... Debbie 1 year ago
Same... Didn't even get the ages of the kids...(Later on that mention teenagers, and going to another school so I think 12?
Load More Replies... marcelo D. 1 year ago
I love the amount of comments here saying “the kids should suck it up, they are children and they don’t know their actions would have long lasting consequences”, yet none of this people seem to grasp that the aunt is an adult, and should have grasp all the consequences her actions would have… weird
lenka 1 year ago
I think the children sound a little entitled and that this is an excellent opportunity to teach them just how privileged they are and exactly how much they personally have benefited from a user pays education system. Then enlighten them what it's like for their cousin, who didn't get those opportunities due to financial constraints and try and make them understand WHY she is upset. Finally, ask them how they would feel if their aunt boycotted their weddings/graduations/other events due to an injustice over which they had little control. If the kids still don't understand their privilege and respect their aunt's position then both the parent and their expensive education have failed them.
marcelo D. 1 year ago
their aunt is literally telling them they should go to inferior schools because her son is more important and he deserves everything (even stuff he literally doesn't qualify for) and f**k their future. But since you saw the phrase "private school" you made a 100% prejudgement and decided that nothing else matters.
Load More Replies... Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 1 year ago
Can someone explain the British school system for the Americans who don't get it? Americans go to HS for 4 years (9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade). I've always thought our 12th grade was the equivalent of A levels?
JK 1 year ago
Ok, UK has Infant school, which is Reception (ages 4-5), Year 1 (5-6) Year 2 (6-7), then Junior school covers Years 3-6 (ages 7-11). A Primary school is one that covers Infants-Juniors (4-11). Secondary School is more like American High School, which is Years 7-11 (ages 11-16), after that you have either College or Sixth Form. Sixth Form is ages 16-18/9 and is within a School, College is similar but is it's own facility and any age can go to learn there, you tend to do vocational/trade (NVQ) courses or "A levels" which are basically advanced versions of subjects but not degree/masters level. University is just like it is in the States. Hope this helps (it is confusing!)
Load More Replies... CBolt 1 year ago (edited)
SIL's anger is misplaced. She's angry with the system & resentful that OP's children have had private education, while her son has gone to rather cr***y schools, which is a terrible thing for him. But there's an undertone of "blame" leveled at OP's family - the parents for having been able to afford private schools & the kids for attending them. And because adding private school kids to the competition will be "unfair" to the students that haven't had the advantages OP's children have, & particularly to SIL's son (I didn't get the impression he would be able to make it thru the competion with flying colors in the 1st place, or at least not be a shoo-in), they should withdraw from it. "He'll be fine anywhere," said abt OP's son - how cavalier. Of course she's angry at the system but she didn't need to take it out on OP's family & some of things she said applied specifically to the children. I don't blame the kids for not wanting to be in the wedding. And SIL's getting that out of control, at the dinner table no less (not the place for political discussions, which is what this comes down to, with some social policy & class consciousness thrown in for good measure), was entirely inappropriate & she needs to apologize - not for having opinions, but for pressing them until things got out of control & for making her remarks personal. (Not cutting her any slack just because she's getting married.) If she wants the wedding party to be what she had planned, a simple, "I'm sorry I let that get out of control - you know how much I care abt you & I'd be so disappointed if you're not in the wedding" & no "unfair," "my son," blah, blah, blah. As for telling the kids to suck it up, smile, & be pleasant & happy for their aunt, obviously they're well brought up but ..... they're teenagers.As angry & hurt as they are, it might be a bit difficult to pull that off
Pamela Blue 1 year ago
I believe they should go to the wedding and keep civil for family reasons. There are really no good reasons for missing it. Having said that, all the "excuses" for why SIL's son didn't get high marks in school do sound like excuses. If he really wanted high marks, he would study himself and even a bad teacher wouldn't stop him. I think he's probably an average kid who, sadly, is running educationally behind two higher achievers, and SIL is just having difficulty accepting it.
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