Husband Asks His Friend To Leave So His Worn-Out Wife That Works In Healthcare Can Rest, Friend Lashes Out
Everyone knows that there are a few things in life that a person absolutely must have – well, having a secure and healthy friendship is one of them. Our peers help us grow into these outstanding individuals, and with them, we’re much closer to living that stress-free life that everybody yearns to have.
Of course, finding that strong connection can sometimes feel like a rocky journey. We’re all different people with contrasting mindsets, and there’s a big chance that your once dearest friend will turn into an individual that doesn’t hold the same values anymore. Growing together doesn’t always result in an everlasting bond, but what’s crucial is for you to remember to put your well-being first, even if it means cutting off a friend or two.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes an argument provoked by a simple request leaves you no other choice than to reconsider your friendship
Image credits: Ian T. McFarland
This online user took his concern to one of the most popular online communities to discuss his somewhat absurd situation. “AITA for kicking my friend out of my bedroom so my wife could take a nap?” A fight provoked by a simple request bothered the author enough to seek help from fellow Reddit users, as he wanted to find out whether he’s indeed the villain of the story. The post received over 20K upvotes and 2.5K worth of comments discussing his friend’s toxic approach.
Redditor wondered if he’s indeed a jerk for asking his friend to leave as his overworked wife wanted to rest after her nursing shift
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The author of the post began his story with an introduction; he’s a 28-year-old husband to his 27-year-old partner who is a certified nursing assistant. The wife works day and night and is also attending school to become an autopsy technician, so the woman often comes back home quite exhausted.
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The man revealed that his significant other constantly picks up extra shifts, works doubles and even triples, and due to such a busy lifestyle, she frequently takes a nap once she comes back home from her duties.
However, a rather unpleasant situation occurred one day involving the OP’s friend. The author shared that his wife and the friend do not get along as he tends to make the woman uncomfortable, yet they’ve agreed not to stand in between their friendships just because one of them doesn’t get along with someone. Well, the friend was over at their house, playing video games with the OP when his wife called to let him know that she was on her way home. The man disclosed that the woman sounded pretty exhausted, and he even asked her if she would be okay driving or if he should come and pick her up.
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic
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The woman said that she was fine to drive and that she’d see the OP later. The guy also decided to reveal that the only TV they have is located in their bedroom, where he and his friend were playing the aforementioned video games. A couple of minutes later, the author’s wife came back home and he went to greet her.
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The poor woman then practically collapsed into her husband’s arms and said that she could really use a nap. The OP took her to their bedroom and politely told the friend that it was time for him to leave, as his wife needed to rest. The friend then began to talk back and asked these unnecessary questions, suggesting that the woman could just sleep there while they were playing, yet the author explained that the silly game could wait as his wife’s needs always come first.
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The friend then asked another question and wondered why the OP’s wife couldn’t just crash on the couch; the man says that he wasn’t going to make his overworked wife sleep on their sofa just because he wanted to keep playing the video games. As expected, the overly audacious friend decided to cause a scene, so he slammed down his controller and went to leave – however, before he did, he turned to the woman and told her “I bet you’re happy he always feels like he has to pick you over anyone”.
Image credits: Fuschia Foot
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Later on, the OP’s friends bombarded his phone, basically saying that what he did was against the infamous “bro” protocol and that it was rude to kick the friend out just so that his wife could sleep. On the other hand, the man revealed that all of his married friends are totally on his side, so, perhaps this situation is a matter of maturity.
Fellow online users shared their own thoughts and opinions
!["Karen Complains To HR About My Body, I Uno-Reverse Her Complaint, [And Now] Everyone Hates Her"](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/coworker-complains-to-hr-about-womans-body-revenge-latest.jpg "\"Karen Complains To HR About My Body, I Uno-Reverse Her Complaint, [And Now] Everyone Hates Her\"")
I'm 47 with a mortgage and full time job and have a friend thats been on disability or workers comp or something for his entire adult life because of a car accident. Recently texted me that I'm a piece of s**t friend because I don't "hang out" anymore. Sometimes you gotta just tell somebody to f@#$ off and get their own life.
I would give your comment 1000 upvotes if I could. You are spot on.
Same Girl, same!
Seconded. Plus a 1000 more upvotes
As someone who's never actually been able to work, and has been on disability... Is he really being serious? I have empathy and can understand how difficult working for a living can be by putting myself in someone else's shoes and listening to others. Your 'friend' lacks empathy. He's a 'piece of s**t friend' for not taking your feelings into consideration. Sorry you have to deal with that.
I had a ex-friend that did that. She actually got angry with me because I got married and had a kid (she hates children.) The last time we spoke, she talked about moving back to our home state but wasn't sure if she should..."It's not like I have any friends there." I still lived there...but instead of getting the "Oh..no...I'm still your friend..." I said "Ya know what. I'm done attending your pity party. Other people are allowed to have lives outside of stroking your ego. If you are so lonely, perhaps you need to evaluate why people don't want to stick around. At the least, get some therapy to knock the chip off your shoulder. As for me...I'm happy where I am at. Hope one day you can be too." She hasn't spoken to me since. Dump the toxicity. They need to grow up.
This person is clearly a toxic, self centered, individual. If they actually believe that a person should stop actively working on a productive life, just to hang out with them and risk their employment, housing, dietary needs, and financial stability, to chill out with them, they've lost their dâmned mind. They have some seriously disordered thinking! There's no room in people's lives for this kind of drama.
Yup. When I was in undergrad, I was an honors program triple major, a McNair scholar, president of several organizations, and held leadership positions in my departments… while working 2 jobs (secretary for my university and nights at a gyro restaurant) and 2 side hustles (freelance editing and writing for a newspaper). I can’t even tell you how many friends I had who were upset I was always busy! And how many potential romantic partners couldn’t understand why I couldn’t ditch my various obligations for dates. Let me clarify, there’s nothing wrong with a healthy work-life balance, which I did not have in undergrad and still don’t have as a PhD candidate. But even though I’m essentially married to my dissertation I still love my friends and family. I just genuinely cannot find enough hours in the day to go to dinner or bar hopping. And due to a chronic illness from an injury I got my freshman year of college, when I do have a few hours of free time, it’s usually spent resting because my lifestyle is extremely difficult with thoracic outlet syndrome. Sometimes sending my friends memes or articles that remind me of them, is the best I can do to show I’m still thinking about them.
I have thoracic Outlet Syndrome as well and know what you mean! It has truly affected my overall quality of life but I just can't bring myself to have the surgery! I had 5 surgeries in less than a year and am not looking forward to having a clavicle and two ribs removed!
I would have exploded in E's face as soon as he slammed down MY game controller and told him to F-off and never come back if that's how he is going to treat my wife
AND your game controller 🎮! 😁
Nothing wrong with being on disability, but he's got to keep a grip on the fact most people do not have flexible schedules and have to prioritize working. How cruddy of him to get mad when someone can't hang out due to work.
EXACTLY
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Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I d it outit.. HERE ?? 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐭.𝐜𝐨𝐦
I think he should have asked his "friend" to leave BEFORE his wife got home. She didn't need to hear that bullsh*t.
At the very least, he could've at least told his friend hey, my wife's gonna be home in X minutes and we'll have to go do something else so she can sleep.
Agreed & now that he knows what type of people he has in his life, he needs to DEMAND an apology from each of them individually & to those who REFUSE……….CUT THEM OFF!!!!
He should have cut those frat boys off as soon as he got married. They're just mad because he's not free to party and bar hop with them anymore. Probably jealous that he's married.
Why demand an apology ? If E can’t see that he was being disgusting then E needs to get a stepping. Leave the relationship permanently.
He and the friend were in the same room. I'm sure the jerk friend heard the husband's side of the conversation. He was fully aware of the fact that she was coming home. I'm sure jerk friend is fully aware of how hard the wife works as well. In no way should the husband feel the need to ease his jerk friend out the door.
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I agree. I don't think he was wrong for asking him to leave, but it was WHEN he asked him to leave that sparked a feud. He made it look as if she told her husband to tell his friend to leave when they were downstairs. He took the mature lead by making sure his wife needs were met, but the way he did it made it look like the wife controls his social life.
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Except he didn't know that she was this level of exhausted.
He should have figured it out...she was so exhausted, it caused him to ask if he should come and get her. She also frequently has to rest...so yeah, he should have...
I think that question was to find out how exhausted she was, and when she says she was fine probably figured it wouldn't be a big deal and she'd nap on the couch. But upon seeing she wasn't she low energy but exhausted, saw she needed more rest and so took her to the bed. I can relate, have had partners be tired when they come over and nap or relax on the couch, but if I see they are totally wiped, I take them to bed Though I admit he could have asked her more directly on the phone if he was unsure.
Maybe he should have but let's not forget he's 27. He's still young and he did the right thing by sending him on his way when he did. A lot of other guys that age would not have. He did right by his wife! And to the person that said he should demand an apology and cut off anyone who wouldn't, sorry but you are wrong! He shouldn't even give them the opportunity to apologize!! Just straight cut them off! It's one thing to be immature, but at 27 saying something so absurd is just down right disrespectful and will probably never change!
I agree with all of that. His friend would’ve left if OP drove to pick up his wife. That was as good a time as any to start the evacuation process.
I dunno. That "friend" sounded like he would have insisted on staying and playing while the OP left to pick up his wife.
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He did not.He offered, but she said she was OK to drive
There is literally no reason to have an "evacuation process" for any9ne over the age of 3.
Oh that made me laugh!
If E didn’t leave when he knew wife was coming home I highly doubt he’d have left when she arrived with her husband. Little Johnny would have waited for OP to come and play with him
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He didn't go to pick up the wife. He offered, but she said she was OK to drive.
Yeah. He knows. He didn't say that. He said. If. If he went. If.
Perfect thinking
Facts
Yeah i thought that too immediatly, but as the friend, i would had offer to leave the sleeping room at least by myself, what an AH...
Well, in his defense he didn't expect his "friend" to react that way.
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Exactly!! The friend is acting like a kid but still it should've ended or the TV should've moved BEFORE his wife came home. They had plenty of time to do either and he already knew she'd need a nap. He actually IS the a*****e for letting it get to that point in the first place lol.
Not every one can just move their television, as wireless as we can go, it still requires a cable cord for your television's cable/satellite box. Same with the internet and router boxes. Whatever room they are originally installed in is where your stuck keeping it. Unless you pay for secondary cable boxes for other rooms. Unless the "supposed" friend wants to pay the extra charges for the living space to have a television for gaming purposes which will most likely require a internet connection. And depending on what kind of gaming they are doing, may require more hardware. Fact is the friend most likely heard the conversation over the phone and if he was a good friend he would have wrapped up the game then an excused his own self, with out having the husband have to say anything to him. That would have been the correct, logical, moral response for the situation if he had an ounce of respect for his friend and his friends relationship. The husband did the right thing by his wife. NTA.
Secondly, to add to my first reply I'd like to just add that what it boils down to is jealousy and it's a toxic trait and should not be tolerated, period. When a couple get married they are entering a new bond and journey, and announcing to their friends and loved ones that they have entered into not just a new type of relationship where this is our partner. And that this is their NEW best friend among all the others. Meaning they get top priority because they have a deep love and friendship with one another. And no one else can or should top that. This is a partnership where they prioritize each other and may make children, and do many important things together. If anyone shows jealousy of your life partner, then the need to rid themselves of that person becomes top priority because if they can't love/like/respect your partner, they can't love/like/respect you or your children down the road. Marriage makes 2 beings become one, and an attack on ones partner is an attack on oneself.
The husband didn't think that far ahead. It puts him in the wrong, but it doesn't make him an AH. The title of AH is reserved for the "friend," Oh and for all the "bro's" who blew up his phone after. One can be wrong & mistaken without being an AH.
Is it any wonder that all the "bro" friends are single, while all the married friends get it? E, and all his bros, are AHs. Let them be incels without you. This may be the very first time I've ever quoted the Bible, but "when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: But when I became a man, I put away childish things."
Well said. OP needs to ditch the single assholes he calls friends. And give E the finger.
He's lucky he didn't catch an ass whoopin!
I personally think that at least a verbal dress down was in order. If i were in OP's position I would have done just that. And give all single "friends" the same treatment. No one disrespects my loved ones and gets away with it!
YUP 👍🏽
It's applicable here, but you don't have to be done with ALL childish things forever. You can still spend your free time on being a kid. In fact, being married means that you have a sleepover with your best friend every night.
FIIIIIIRE!!!!
I'm 47 with a mortgage and full time job and have a friend thats been on disability or workers comp or something for his entire adult life because of a car accident. Recently texted me that I'm a piece of s**t friend because I don't "hang out" anymore. Sometimes you gotta just tell somebody to f@#$ off and get their own life.
I would give your comment 1000 upvotes if I could. You are spot on.
Same Girl, same!
Seconded. Plus a 1000 more upvotes
As someone who's never actually been able to work, and has been on disability... Is he really being serious? I have empathy and can understand how difficult working for a living can be by putting myself in someone else's shoes and listening to others. Your 'friend' lacks empathy. He's a 'piece of s**t friend' for not taking your feelings into consideration. Sorry you have to deal with that.
I had a ex-friend that did that. She actually got angry with me because I got married and had a kid (she hates children.) The last time we spoke, she talked about moving back to our home state but wasn't sure if she should..."It's not like I have any friends there." I still lived there...but instead of getting the "Oh..no...I'm still your friend..." I said "Ya know what. I'm done attending your pity party. Other people are allowed to have lives outside of stroking your ego. If you are so lonely, perhaps you need to evaluate why people don't want to stick around. At the least, get some therapy to knock the chip off your shoulder. As for me...I'm happy where I am at. Hope one day you can be too." She hasn't spoken to me since. Dump the toxicity. They need to grow up.
This person is clearly a toxic, self centered, individual. If they actually believe that a person should stop actively working on a productive life, just to hang out with them and risk their employment, housing, dietary needs, and financial stability, to chill out with them, they've lost their dâmned mind. They have some seriously disordered thinking! There's no room in people's lives for this kind of drama.
Yup. When I was in undergrad, I was an honors program triple major, a McNair scholar, president of several organizations, and held leadership positions in my departments… while working 2 jobs (secretary for my university and nights at a gyro restaurant) and 2 side hustles (freelance editing and writing for a newspaper). I can’t even tell you how many friends I had who were upset I was always busy! And how many potential romantic partners couldn’t understand why I couldn’t ditch my various obligations for dates. Let me clarify, there’s nothing wrong with a healthy work-life balance, which I did not have in undergrad and still don’t have as a PhD candidate. But even though I’m essentially married to my dissertation I still love my friends and family. I just genuinely cannot find enough hours in the day to go to dinner or bar hopping. And due to a chronic illness from an injury I got my freshman year of college, when I do have a few hours of free time, it’s usually spent resting because my lifestyle is extremely difficult with thoracic outlet syndrome. Sometimes sending my friends memes or articles that remind me of them, is the best I can do to show I’m still thinking about them.
I have thoracic Outlet Syndrome as well and know what you mean! It has truly affected my overall quality of life but I just can't bring myself to have the surgery! I had 5 surgeries in less than a year and am not looking forward to having a clavicle and two ribs removed!
I would have exploded in E's face as soon as he slammed down MY game controller and told him to F-off and never come back if that's how he is going to treat my wife
AND your game controller 🎮! 😁
Nothing wrong with being on disability, but he's got to keep a grip on the fact most people do not have flexible schedules and have to prioritize working. How cruddy of him to get mad when someone can't hang out due to work.
EXACTLY
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I d it outit.. HERE ?? 𝐰𝐰𝐰.𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐭.𝐜𝐨𝐦
I think he should have asked his "friend" to leave BEFORE his wife got home. She didn't need to hear that bullsh*t.
At the very least, he could've at least told his friend hey, my wife's gonna be home in X minutes and we'll have to go do something else so she can sleep.
Agreed & now that he knows what type of people he has in his life, he needs to DEMAND an apology from each of them individually & to those who REFUSE……….CUT THEM OFF!!!!
He should have cut those frat boys off as soon as he got married. They're just mad because he's not free to party and bar hop with them anymore. Probably jealous that he's married.
Why demand an apology ? If E can’t see that he was being disgusting then E needs to get a stepping. Leave the relationship permanently.
He and the friend were in the same room. I'm sure the jerk friend heard the husband's side of the conversation. He was fully aware of the fact that she was coming home. I'm sure jerk friend is fully aware of how hard the wife works as well. In no way should the husband feel the need to ease his jerk friend out the door.
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I agree. I don't think he was wrong for asking him to leave, but it was WHEN he asked him to leave that sparked a feud. He made it look as if she told her husband to tell his friend to leave when they were downstairs. He took the mature lead by making sure his wife needs were met, but the way he did it made it look like the wife controls his social life.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Except he didn't know that she was this level of exhausted.
He should have figured it out...she was so exhausted, it caused him to ask if he should come and get her. She also frequently has to rest...so yeah, he should have...
I think that question was to find out how exhausted she was, and when she says she was fine probably figured it wouldn't be a big deal and she'd nap on the couch. But upon seeing she wasn't she low energy but exhausted, saw she needed more rest and so took her to the bed. I can relate, have had partners be tired when they come over and nap or relax on the couch, but if I see they are totally wiped, I take them to bed Though I admit he could have asked her more directly on the phone if he was unsure.
Maybe he should have but let's not forget he's 27. He's still young and he did the right thing by sending him on his way when he did. A lot of other guys that age would not have. He did right by his wife! And to the person that said he should demand an apology and cut off anyone who wouldn't, sorry but you are wrong! He shouldn't even give them the opportunity to apologize!! Just straight cut them off! It's one thing to be immature, but at 27 saying something so absurd is just down right disrespectful and will probably never change!
I agree with all of that. His friend would’ve left if OP drove to pick up his wife. That was as good a time as any to start the evacuation process.
I dunno. That "friend" sounded like he would have insisted on staying and playing while the OP left to pick up his wife.
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He did not.He offered, but she said she was OK to drive
There is literally no reason to have an "evacuation process" for any9ne over the age of 3.
Oh that made me laugh!
If E didn’t leave when he knew wife was coming home I highly doubt he’d have left when she arrived with her husband. Little Johnny would have waited for OP to come and play with him
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He didn't go to pick up the wife. He offered, but she said she was OK to drive.
Yeah. He knows. He didn't say that. He said. If. If he went. If.
Perfect thinking
Facts
Yeah i thought that too immediatly, but as the friend, i would had offer to leave the sleeping room at least by myself, what an AH...
Well, in his defense he didn't expect his "friend" to react that way.
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Exactly!! The friend is acting like a kid but still it should've ended or the TV should've moved BEFORE his wife came home. They had plenty of time to do either and he already knew she'd need a nap. He actually IS the a*****e for letting it get to that point in the first place lol.
Not every one can just move their television, as wireless as we can go, it still requires a cable cord for your television's cable/satellite box. Same with the internet and router boxes. Whatever room they are originally installed in is where your stuck keeping it. Unless you pay for secondary cable boxes for other rooms. Unless the "supposed" friend wants to pay the extra charges for the living space to have a television for gaming purposes which will most likely require a internet connection. And depending on what kind of gaming they are doing, may require more hardware. Fact is the friend most likely heard the conversation over the phone and if he was a good friend he would have wrapped up the game then an excused his own self, with out having the husband have to say anything to him. That would have been the correct, logical, moral response for the situation if he had an ounce of respect for his friend and his friends relationship. The husband did the right thing by his wife. NTA.
Secondly, to add to my first reply I'd like to just add that what it boils down to is jealousy and it's a toxic trait and should not be tolerated, period. When a couple get married they are entering a new bond and journey, and announcing to their friends and loved ones that they have entered into not just a new type of relationship where this is our partner. And that this is their NEW best friend among all the others. Meaning they get top priority because they have a deep love and friendship with one another. And no one else can or should top that. This is a partnership where they prioritize each other and may make children, and do many important things together. If anyone shows jealousy of your life partner, then the need to rid themselves of that person becomes top priority because if they can't love/like/respect your partner, they can't love/like/respect you or your children down the road. Marriage makes 2 beings become one, and an attack on ones partner is an attack on oneself.
The husband didn't think that far ahead. It puts him in the wrong, but it doesn't make him an AH. The title of AH is reserved for the "friend," Oh and for all the "bro's" who blew up his phone after. One can be wrong & mistaken without being an AH.
Is it any wonder that all the "bro" friends are single, while all the married friends get it? E, and all his bros, are AHs. Let them be incels without you. This may be the very first time I've ever quoted the Bible, but "when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: But when I became a man, I put away childish things."
Well said. OP needs to ditch the single assholes he calls friends. And give E the finger.
He's lucky he didn't catch an ass whoopin!
I personally think that at least a verbal dress down was in order. If i were in OP's position I would have done just that. And give all single "friends" the same treatment. No one disrespects my loved ones and gets away with it!
YUP 👍🏽
It's applicable here, but you don't have to be done with ALL childish things forever. You can still spend your free time on being a kid. In fact, being married means that you have a sleepover with your best friend every night.
FIIIIIIRE!!!!