“Just Be Grateful”: Woman’s Infertility Insults Backfire After Sister Refuses To Watch Her Kids

Trying to start a family can be a difficult and expensive process, especially if you or your partner are struggling with fertility issues. So it helps immensely to have a strong support system you can lean on during the process. But what if your relatives are actively making your life harder while you desperately try to become a parent?

One woman recently reached out to Reddit detailing why she’s finally decided to set boundaries with her sister who seems to only see her as an on-call babysitter. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies that invested readers shared. 

This woman has been struggling to get pregnant for years

Woman in a red sweater looks upset, while another gestures in the background. Babysitter conflict depicted.

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

And after her sister made it clear that she should give up on trying to have kids, she decided to stop offering her babysitting services

Text discusses a woman's reluctance to babysit her sister's kids due to a hurtful comment.

Text message discussing pregnancy issues during fertility journey.

Text exchange about woman refusing to babysit sister's kids after being told not to value motherhood.

Text discussing a family group chat about pregnancy and fertility medication.

Text reading, "I told her I had no idea and if she had wanted to announce I wouldn't have blamed her," expressing surprise.

Text describing a conversation where a woman is told she's meant to be a babysitter, not a mother.

Text discussing babysitting and supporting a sister during childbirth, implying familial support roles.

Text exchange discussing feelings about being seen as a babysitter, not a real person with her own needs.

Woman looking frustrated on a couch while holding a phone, relating to unwillingness to babysit sister’s kids.

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

Text excerpt about a woman feeling distant from her sister, who called her selfish for wanting more than being a babysitter.

Text about a family disagreement regarding babysitting duties and respect.

Text discussing mental health and therapy priorities amid relationship struggles, related to babysitter versus mother role.

Text conversation about babysitting kids, refusal to help despite sister's request due to a doctor's appointment.

Text exchange about woman refusing to babysit sister's kids, citing a previous disagreement.

Text exchange about a woman's refusal to babysit sister's kids, causing tension.

Image source: JumpFeisty225

About 10% of people who want to start a family struggle with fertility issues

A woman in a gray top looks surprised while holding a test, conveying an emotional moment related to babysitting and motherhood.

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

In a perfect world, starting a family would be simple and easy, at least for cisgender heterosexual couples. But in reality, getting pregnant can be an incredibly complex, draining and expensive journey. According to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, approximately 9% of men and 11% of women of reproductive age in the United States struggle with fertility issues.

In about one third of couples, the reason they can’t conceive is because of the man, and in another third, the issue is the woman’s fertility. But one third of the time, the problem either cannot be determined or is with both partners. 

Studies have also found that after one year of trying to conceive, between 12% and 15% of couples still aren’t pregnant. And one in ten couples still don’t have a child after two years of trying to start a family. Age also plays a part, of course, as women’s fertility starts rapidly declining after they turn 35.

Despite the fact that it’s so common to have challenges when trying to get pregnant, it can still be an extremely difficult process to go through emotionally. One 2022 study found that 60% of individuals struggling with infertility say it has impacted their mental health, and a third of these hopeful parents admit that it has caused a strain on their relationship as well.

Mothers for Mothers explains on their site that facing challenges when trying to get pregnant often causes anxiety and/or depression, and it might make individuals who want to become parents feel guilt or shame. They might be embarrassed about having to seek help when trying to conceive, and even though there are options available to help couples nowadays, those aren’t exactly easy solutions either.

It’s important to be sensitive to loved ones facing challenges when trying to become parents

Two women on a bed, one comforting the other.

Image credits: Nini FromParis (not the actual photo)

A round of IVF can cost couples between $12,000 to $25,000, and it’s never guaranteed to work. Plus, one study found that women undergoing IVF treatment reported severe physical and mental side effects, including mood swings, anxiety, insomnia, depression and hot flashes. Not to mention the psychological impact that it can have on a woman to become pregnant and later miscarry.     

So what can friends and family members do to support their loved ones struggling with infertility? The National Infertility Association recommends making it clear that you care for and are there for the couple. Remember them on particularly difficult days, like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, and be sensitive when discussing topics that have to do with babies or children around them.

It’s also important to know what not to do or say. Don’t tell the couple to relax or try to minimize the problem. They might be in a lot of pain, and it’s impossible to understand how they feel without being in their situation. Never tell them that “things could be worse” or “maybe it’s just not meant to be.” If someone has a strong desire to be a parent and has always wanted to start a family, it’s not fair to tell them to give up.

Be careful not to try to problem solve either. They might have tried things like IVF already in the past, and they may not be interested in adoption. It’s probably safe to assume that they’ve already considered all of their options.

We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How do you feel about the boundaries that this woman set with her sister? Then, if you’d like to read another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues, look no further than right here.   

The vast majority of readers agreed with the woman’s choice to set boundaries with her sister

Reddit comment thread discussing refusal to babysit sister's kids after insulting remarks.

Comments discussing babysitting, fertility, and family issues on a Reddit post.

Reddit discussion about a woman's decision not to babysit her sister’s kids due to a hurtful comment.

Reddit user comments discussing why a woman's husband should watch their kids, focusing on babysitter expectations.

Reddit comment criticizing someone's opinion on a babysitting conflict.

Reddit comment discussing responsibility for watching kids, suggesting the dad should babysit.

Reddit comment expressing opinion on responsibility, suggesting a woman shouldn't feel obliged to babysit her sister's kids.

Text commentary on woman's refusal to babysit, discussing family roles and expectations.

Comment discussing lack of empathy and compassion in childcare situation.

Reddit comment criticizing a dismissive sister over babysitting boundaries.

Comment discussing a brother's similar remark about babysitting, with user reflecting on 9 years of change.

Reddit comment about a woman refusing to watch her sister's kids, highlighting family tension.

Comment supporting woman’s decision not to babysit sister's kids after disrespectful remark.

Comment thread discussing entitlement and boundaries in family relationships.

Comment on refusing to babysit after being mistreated by sister, expressing need for an apology.

Reddit comment discusses babysitting, questioning why a sister doesn't trade babysitting hours or involve her husband.

Reddit comment advising a woman to block her rude sister and prioritize her journey to becoming a parent.

A comment discussing a woman’s role in babysitting and motherhood, expressing opinions on family dynamics.

Comment discussing a woman refusing to babysit after being told she's just a babysitter, criticizing her sister's behavior.

Reddit comment on not watching sister’s kids, emphasizing lack of sympathy in family struggles.

Comment expressing support for a woman refusing to babysit after being told she's only meant to be a babysitter.

Reddit comment discussing a woman's refusal to babysit her sister's kids.

Comment criticizing a sister's entitlement and urging to block her, offering support for a fertility journey.

Text supports woman refusing to babysit sister's kids, promotes self-care.

Reddit comment about refusing to babysit, suggesting saying, “I’m not a great babysitter and you are better off without me.”

Reddit comment about family disagreements over babysitting duties.

Text conversation discussing babysitting expectations and resentment.

However, one person thought that the author was being unfair to her sister

Comment discussing relationship with sister and babysitting, suggesting passive negativity toward her future.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!