Husband Refuses To Stand Up To His Parents Who Treat His Wife Like A Maid, She Files For Divorce
The internet is, in some regards, a beautiful place. It might not solve all of your problems, let alone do that for you, but it will surely give you a channel to vent your frustrations through. And, sometimes, that’s just as good.
A woman went to Reddit to share a personal story of mistreatment, disrespect, and betrayal that turned out to be a huge triumph for her in the end. And the lovely folks of the internet were there to support her in their own ways.
The internet might not solve all your problems, but it gives us a chance to vent. And sometimes, that’s good enough
Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)
A woman vented her frustrations with her in-laws and husband, asking netizens if she’s wrong to want to move out
Image credits: Polina Tankilevitch (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Soft_Career_8688
Soon after posting, the woman shared more context in her first update, explaining how she got there and what she has already tried to do
Image credits: Liliana Drew (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Soft_Career_8688
A second update came around some months later when the woman found out she was pregnant
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Matilda Wormwood (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Soft_Career_8688
Because nothing really changed, the woman decided to distance herself permanently from the toxic family, hubby included
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
This one’s a lengthy one, so brace yourself. In a nutshell: the woman and her hubby move in with her in-laws to help out as the dad had health issues. During the time that they’ve been living there, OP had taken on a number of chores because it was just easier for her.
Ultimately, the balance of things to do around the house among the various family members shifted in unhealthy ways that did not benefit OP at all. It has become such a big problem that even when she was sick, she was still expected to cook while everyone else sat on the couch watching television.
OP did try to talk to her hubby, but that didn’t work. She suggested moving out on several occasions, but everyone was against it. The meatloaf hit the fan when the mother-in-law asked if OP could give everything an extra scrub so as to kill off her germs. While she was still sick. It was only natural that she snapped after all the exhaustion and disrespect.
It all went downhill from there. Not only was she treated like a live-in maid, she also became a mere ‘incubator’ once she found out she’s pregnant. Everyone immediately started making plans for her, deciding things for the baby—her voice didn’t matter.
So she packed her bags and left. And when nobody did anything about rectifying this schism in the relationship, OP distanced herself from them for good, and started the divorce process.
She’s been doing great since then. Rents a spacious 3-bedroom house while she’s waiting for the knot to be untied. Once the daughter is born, OP’s side of the family will be there to help out and play with her. A sweet ending to an otherwise bitter story.
Even before the updates, netizens were quick to show support for the woman with affirmation and advice
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Folks online were all in favor of an NTA here. The story was still in progress, but folks were quick to suggest running away from that toxic environment as it would only get worse.
It was enough that the doormat husband was silent every time there was a clash, but the in-laws had to be flat out using OP in dehumanizing ways. There’s nothing good that can ever come out of such a dynamic.
Commenters further pointed out that this arrangement only ever benefited the in-laws and, to some extent, the hubby. The in-laws were getting the best deal as the young’uns were there to pay most of the bills and solve most of their problems, including caring for the dad. They didn’t even have to lift a finger. Neither did the hubby, minus him paying something.
The saddest part is that these are grown adults who were very self-sufficient before OP came into the picture. Folks pointed that out as a peak form of entitlement, and that demands zero justification on OP’s part when it comes to making decisions that benefit her.
Sadly, a lack of marital commitment and conflict in the household are among the top reasons for divorce
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
The issues seen in this story correspond to the overall, sad reality of marriages and relationships. Lack of commitment (75%) and conflict in the household (58%) are among the top 3 reasons for divorce. Infidelity is the other one (60%). You can also throw in lack of family support as a reason too (that’s #8 in the list with 18%).
“Final Straw” situations, however, are most often associated with reasons other than what OP went through. The phenomenon is reported among 69% of all divorced couples with infidelity (24%), domestic violence (21%) and substance abuse (12%) as the top reasons.
Though, it is important to note that divorce rates have dropped in the last 20 years. The CDC reports that the divorce rate per 1,000 population used to be a 4 back in 2000, but it decreased to 2.5 in 2021 with a slight dip to 2.3 in 2020. Then again, marriage rates decreased as well—from 8.2 to 6.0 respectively.
The decrease seems to be due to a shift in public attitude about marriage. An increasing amount of people are starting to think of marriage as unnecessary. So much so that back in 2010, 40% of Americans thought of it as obsolete. It boils down to the conviction that marriage doesn’t allow for as much freedom, which is a problem if a person has adult aspirations and desires for achieving something in life.
So, what are your thoughts on any of this? How would you have approached OP’s predicament? Do you agree with the community’s verdict? Share your takes and stories in the comment section below!
Folks online deemed the woman not a jerk for wanting a better life, suggesting she legs it as fast as she can
I'm over-the-moon relieved OP left, filed for divorce, and will be raising her daughter away from these a-holes.
Same, it sounds like OP and her baby will have a cozy, happy life surrounded by the love of family and friends. I wish her the best.
Load More Replies...
When my (long ago) ex husband started treating me like his maid, you can bet I noped out of there real fast. At first I put up with it because I had zero support from anyone (especially my family) but after he said he didn’t trust or respect me I moved out as soon as I could. OP is NTA but her idiot husband and his mother are. Yikes
"One day all of this will be yours" is not a legally binding agreement. They might get religion, or remarry, or sell and blow it all on bucket lists, or leave it to a charity for lazy spiteful old in-laws, or a million other things. Before things ever get to this point, an agreement should be made with the homeowners, preferably one that can actually be registered against the title. Who pays for what, who is responsible for what, what insurance is required, maintenance schedules, emergency costs, processes for if the relationships dissolve, on and on and on and on. Or just say "we're sorry to hear your no longer feeling like you can cope in your current home, we don't feel comfortable taking on the role of live in caregivers, but we'd be happy to help you look for a smaller place or assisted living of you feel you're at that point."
I'm over-the-moon relieved OP left, filed for divorce, and will be raising her daughter away from these a-holes.
Same, it sounds like OP and her baby will have a cozy, happy life surrounded by the love of family and friends. I wish her the best.
Load More Replies... When my (long ago) ex husband started treating me like his maid, you can bet I noped out of there real fast. At first I put up with it because I had zero support from anyone (especially my family) but after he said he didn’t trust or respect me I moved out as soon as I could. OP is NTA but her idiot husband and his mother are. Yikes
"One day all of this will be yours" is not a legally binding agreement. They might get religion, or remarry, or sell and blow it all on bucket lists, or leave it to a charity for lazy spiteful old in-laws, or a million other things. Before things ever get to this point, an agreement should be made with the homeowners, preferably one that can actually be registered against the title. Who pays for what, who is responsible for what, what insurance is required, maintenance schedules, emergency costs, processes for if the relationships dissolve, on and on and on and on. Or just say "we're sorry to hear your no longer feeling like you can cope in your current home, we don't feel comfortable taking on the role of live in caregivers, but we'd be happy to help you look for a smaller place or assisted living of you feel you're at that point."
168
63