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SIL Demands Woman Give Up Her Little Eating Habit As Her Daughter Wants The Same, She Says No
We are all human, and of course, we all have our little weaknesses. Some people like to get stuck in their smartphones watching silly yet amusing shorts, some love sweets in the evenings, some neglect chores in favor of video games… Little weaknesses that actually make us human. Ordinary, not perfect, real.
The heroine of today’s story, the user u/StudentNaive3292, also has such a small and completely harmless habit. However, as someone wise once said, our freedom ends where the freedom of another person begins – and the author recently had the chance to test this concept on her own experience.
More info: Reddit
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The author of the post has a small personal weakness – she loves to eat a small cone of ice cream before going to bed
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In fact, it’s a long-term habit, so the author won’t give it up under any circumstances
Image credits: StudentNaive3292
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Recently, the author’s brother and wife, along with their daughter, came over to stay at her house for a while
Image credits: StudentNaive3292
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The niece saw the author eating ice cream several times and wanted the same for herself
Image credits: StudentNaive3292
So the mom asked the author to quit this habit for a few days – but received a flat-out ‘No’
The story we’re going to tell you today happened at the house of the Original Poster (OP), when her brother, with his wife and daughter, came over to visit her. It so happened that our heroine has one little weakness – almost every evening, she eats a small cone of ice cream. Just as a tiny treat and gratitude to herself for a well-spent day.
When the guests were in the house, the author usually carried out this ritual in the kitchen, while the brother and his family gathered in the living room around the TV. But it so happened that the niece saw her aunt eating ice cream several times, and surely asked herself a very reasonable question: if one can do it, then why not the other?
It was precisely about this that the original poster had an argument with her sister-in-law. She, assuring the author that her habit undermined her parenting, asked her to stop doing it. At least while they were guests in her house. But the habit was already, as they say, second nature for our heroine, so she flatly refused.
Moreover, the OP rather sarcastically asked her sister-in-law why she can’t refuse, for example, a glass of wine in the evening. She left offended, but later, the brother called out our heroine for being unreasonable. The author simply doesn’t want to deprive herself of this small pleasure – even for the sake of being a decent auntie…
Image credits: pvproductions / Freepik (not the actual photo)
On the one hand, it’s true that children’s habits are formed precisely under the influence of what they see others do – in particular, adult relatives. So if the mother has repeatedly told this girl that eating ice cream in the evening is not very good and correct, then the sight of the aunt eagerly devouring the delicacy before bed doesn’t really fit into this behavioral pattern.
On the other hand, a person is free to do as they please at their home, and one small cone of ice cream is not something that can be sacrificed. Even since developing healthy eating habits in kids is a rather difficult thing. Especially considering that children have a natural preference for sweet tastes. A preference that decreases (and not in everyone) only in adulthood.
Experts say that parents and family members should be true role models for a child in developing healthy eating patterns. “You are the most important influence on your child, so lead by example by establishing your own healthy eating habits,” this dedicated article on Nationwide Children’s claims. However, this still doesn’t mean that adults should give in to their little treats either…
People in the comments massively supported the original poster, arguing that she’s an adult who is at home, so there is absolutely no need to give in to other people’s demands. After all, it’s also part of the parenting process. “A kid needs to learn sometimes people have things they can’t have, especially adults,” someone concluded quite wisely. So do you, our dear readers, share these viewpoints too?
Most commenters supported the author in her decision, claiming that teaching the kid about not always having what they want is also part of the parenting process
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What do you think ?
Mel in Georgia 6 months ago
That child is going to see a lot of things she "shouldn't" do in her lifetime. It's a life skill to learn that sometimes you don't get what you want and other people do. "That's what your aunt does - not what we do."
Inservio Smurf 5 months ago
But if you try sometimes.... you might find... ;)
Load More Replies...
Shannon Donnelly 6 months ago
Slightly off the topic rant, but why does it seem like everyone on social media has gone bipolar? I was diagnosed bipolar II back in 1996 at the age of 19 and realized I had a tendency of jumping to extreme reactions. Years of therapy has (mainly) broken me of this habit. But this seems to have become the norm on social media. OP’s SIL doesn’t want her eating ice cream in front of her niece? The solutions range to making the small ice cream cones giant sized to banning SIL from drinking wine. Is anyone rational these days???
tori Ohno 6 months ago
It's because they're hiding behind an anonymous keyboard and not saying it to someone's face. I noticed 20 years ago that people are like that when they don't have to face someone. In person they wouldn't be so extreme, they're simply magnifying their outrage because they don't have to answer to someone for the behavior.
Load More Replies...
Another Panda 6 months ago
It’s a little tricky, but not too tricky. OP has a couple options. As a gracious host (and, no reflection on her, this is a skill we have lost, along with being gracious guests), she could forgo her right to have ice cream every night if the child is getting out of bed an coming into the kitchen. Or, OP could unobtrusively bring her ice cream to her own room to enjoy, without mentioning it any further to anyone. The other side of this is that the mother missed an opportunity to teach her child some important lessons about staying as a guest in someone’s home - that the host may have routines and food choices that are different to the guests, and as a family, as long as their choices are not rudely inconveniencing the host, they will stay with their own food choices, especially in regards to treats. She also clearly needs to communicate to the child that it is not appropriate to get out of bed to ask the host for a treat that the mother has said she may not have.
valerie hunte 6 months ago
So, tangentially related, I have noticed a few stores start selling bags of the bottom bits of ice cream cones stuffed with chocolate, like how the freezer section ice cream cones have in the bottom of them. The chocolate is better than the ice cream ones, and the bits of cone are crispy because they haven’t been frozen. Highly recommend. Maybe even as an ice cream topping!!
Janelle Collard 6 months ago
I would have kicked them out. MY house + I can eat ice cream, vacuum naked with music playing loudly cuz it's MY HOUSE. "Tell me you refuse to parent your kid without saying the actual words."
Tess Chappuis 5 months ago
Do these people who write for Bored Panda not have jobs? What is with the constant stories of clapbacks??? This site is AWFUL.
Mel in Georgia 6 months ago
That child is going to see a lot of things she "shouldn't" do in her lifetime. It's a life skill to learn that sometimes you don't get what you want and other people do. "That's what your aunt does - not what we do."
Inservio Smurf 5 months ago
But if you try sometimes.... you might find... ;)
Load More Replies... Shannon Donnelly 6 months ago
Slightly off the topic rant, but why does it seem like everyone on social media has gone bipolar? I was diagnosed bipolar II back in 1996 at the age of 19 and realized I had a tendency of jumping to extreme reactions. Years of therapy has (mainly) broken me of this habit. But this seems to have become the norm on social media. OP’s SIL doesn’t want her eating ice cream in front of her niece? The solutions range to making the small ice cream cones giant sized to banning SIL from drinking wine. Is anyone rational these days???
tori Ohno 6 months ago
It's because they're hiding behind an anonymous keyboard and not saying it to someone's face. I noticed 20 years ago that people are like that when they don't have to face someone. In person they wouldn't be so extreme, they're simply magnifying their outrage because they don't have to answer to someone for the behavior.
Load More Replies... Another Panda 6 months ago
It’s a little tricky, but not too tricky. OP has a couple options. As a gracious host (and, no reflection on her, this is a skill we have lost, along with being gracious guests), she could forgo her right to have ice cream every night if the child is getting out of bed an coming into the kitchen. Or, OP could unobtrusively bring her ice cream to her own room to enjoy, without mentioning it any further to anyone. The other side of this is that the mother missed an opportunity to teach her child some important lessons about staying as a guest in someone’s home - that the host may have routines and food choices that are different to the guests, and as a family, as long as their choices are not rudely inconveniencing the host, they will stay with their own food choices, especially in regards to treats. She also clearly needs to communicate to the child that it is not appropriate to get out of bed to ask the host for a treat that the mother has said she may not have.
valerie hunte 6 months ago
So, tangentially related, I have noticed a few stores start selling bags of the bottom bits of ice cream cones stuffed with chocolate, like how the freezer section ice cream cones have in the bottom of them. The chocolate is better than the ice cream ones, and the bits of cone are crispy because they haven’t been frozen. Highly recommend. Maybe even as an ice cream topping!!
Janelle Collard 6 months ago
I would have kicked them out. MY house + I can eat ice cream, vacuum naked with music playing loudly cuz it's MY HOUSE. "Tell me you refuse to parent your kid without saying the actual words."
Tess Chappuis 5 months ago
Do these people who write for Bored Panda not have jobs? What is with the constant stories of clapbacks??? This site is AWFUL.
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