‘Get Out Now’: People Are Begging This Woman To Leave Her Abusive Husband After She Writes A Post Online About His Bizarre Behavior

Just goes to show how bad gaslighting can get if you start to doubt yourself whether asking your husband to turn the f*****g taps and lights off when he's done with them is reasonable or not. I mean what the actual- In what universe is turning the tap NOT off normal? These are so many red flags I can't even count them. His behaviour is so outrageously weird that I'm seriously wondering about his mental health.

To the OP: RUN. Just run. No stopping. I won't credit this to mental illness, b/c the face he's unemployed home all day? He's finding a way to do two things. 1. Have noise/perception of activity/busy-ness. 2. Show his negative emotions with what is passive-aggressive at best and active gaslighting at worst. I'd wonder about head injury/trauma/etc. but I've seen too many a-holes in my dad's family do stupid sh*t to their working wives, and this isn't even the stupidest. (One uncle amuse dhimself during an unemployment period by making more housework for her in ways I prefer to not describe, but we should've had him litter trained.)

What f'n country is this happening in? It sounds like a Kafka short story that he abandoned as not being believable enough. If this guy is really like this, he's insane. Like, mentally ill. She needs to get out now.

Right after the wedding he quits his job. Stays home and runs the water and lights all day. Controls all the money. Leaves a mess in the house and garbage all over the floor. Is making you think you are insane. RUN. GET AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

His "analogy" (which isn't) only makes sense if you focus on the word "choice". He's saying he could turn off the water, but he chooses not to. He's referring to it as an "analogy" to confuse her. Seems like he wants an unquestioning slave.

wow, dude is assholiest of assholes and abusive bum. OP, get out now.

I've experienced enough gas lighting to last me a lifetime, but this tops them all. He WANTS you to think you're going insane. This was not included in your marriage vows ( '' I pledge to lose my mind to his manipulative shenanigans''). Terminate all joint financial arrangements and RUN!

Please please give us an update that you have left him. Please! This man not only is abusive, but he is also a psychopath who needs help.

This man has issues

what the fork did I just read?! No matter how you twist and turn it, turning on every water in the house makes NO SENSE!

She needs to cut off his hands since they so clearly do no work - he doesn't need them just to babble low-intellect gaslighting bullshit right?

There's a whole movie about this. It's called "Gaslight". Yes, it's the origin of the term "gaslighting."

She definitely needs help. I think her husband is unwell. Please please take him to a neurologist. If this was sudden, and I his behavior is becoming more erratic, I beg of you to have and MRI to screen for BVFTD.

I really hope she gets out. It's so hard to do; they make you believe that no one would possibly believe you, that you are the crazy one, that black is white. In time and with the right help I hope this lady can live a life rather than just exist within the cage he has put her in. My heart goes to all in abusive relationships; i found a way out and am thankful every day that I'm no longer there

Chewie Baron

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Anyone know what happened eventually?

I'm wondering if this is some form of OCD combined with his controlling abuse.

I don't know if OP is reading in on this, but if you are, I can assure you that you are not insane. But you need to run. Fast. I was you. I only got out because I had a trusted friend who I would call and ask if I was going mad, because what happened in my home did not line up with my what I deep down knew to be right. Call someone you trust or an organisation. Cut all contact with your soon to be ex husband. And I mean ALL CONTACT. He will twist reality, words and your brain if he gets access. Only contact through lawyer. Not even family or mutual friends - he will know how to get his message through. I hope you make it. <3 Gaslighting is really sneaky and infects your brain without you noticing. Much like poison gas.. But you can recover.

The dude clearly needs mental help, it's not just about the abuse he's putting her through, there's something genuinely wrong with his head.

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Run. Run fast and run NOW. Don't look back. This man broke all of the vows he made with you for no justifiable reason. You have every reason in the world. You will not go to hell because you broke your vows--if so, it's going to be awfully crowded with all the divorced people in the world. You are being used, disrespected, abused and you need to collect your next paycheck in person and get away, as fast as you can. Please listen to all of us who are pleading with you to leave; we know what we're talking about.

account is suspended so theres no updates to if she left or not, anyone know if she got out?

Oh my god RUN, WOMAN, RUN! Get out now while you can! Just pack what you can and leave what you can replace later, take whatever pets or kids and go stay with a friend or family member, and work on getting your own apartment. File for divorce NOW and get away from him as quickly as possible. He is gaslighting the crap out of you, manipulating your thinking and confusing you with bulls**t mechanics analogies to try and justify him being an absolute pig of a human being. Please, save yourself and run. Now. If you don't he's going to grind you into dust underfoot.

I really don't think this is real sounds more made up to me...but if this is real then she is TA for staying with this lazy and clearly not stable and possibly insane person...seriously folks it's scary if you look up the statistics on spousal murder.

Never has a bored panda post given me so much anxiety as this one.

I feel like this relationshio isn't worth working toward fixing. Even if effort is made, this guy will revert back to his normal self once pressure is off him. Give people enough time and they will show you who they are. Considering his absolutely crazy reasoning for why he cannot turn the lights and water off, I worry about his reaction to separation. O think I would take time to make his dislike me so that me leaving wouldn't be so all consuming in his life. Cook bad meals, have him go down on you after not showering for a week, anything.

this whole thing sounds like bullshit made up by someone who doesn't speak or understand English properly

I don't know if OP reads any of these comments, but that he is gaslighting her. Look up other covert abuse techniques, I'm betting he's doing a few. He sounds like he may be a covert narcissist and he's also financially abusing her. As far as lights and water, I've found the water is a lot more expensive than leaving lights on. I did experiments on a house of mine when no one was living there and to have an LED light on (100 watt equivalent) 24/7 it cost less than $1 per month, at least in Utah. Water usage costs more. If you have to stay there I'd find out how to shut the water off to the house before you leave for work in the morning. Maybe leave a couple gallon jugs of water in the house. It would be best if you opened your own account he doesn't have access to, save up, and leave the abuser.

Are you sure he hasn’t some kind of mental disorder?

OMG he's a f*****g man child , he can turn it on he can turn it the f**k off , as for " dont nag and i'll be good" WTAF??? IS HE F*****G 5 ?? tell him to grow the f**k up or get the f**k out , f**k me , i really cant believe this is a thing

I’d be nicking the fuses and turning off the water at the meter at 7 am every morning

I am doubting this post is even real. I am very familiar with gaslighting, but this seems so over the top irrational on both ends. His behavior, and her reaction to the behavior. Grow a set of lady balls, and move out. Let's see how long can sit in the dark listening to the water run before they throw his ass out. A reddit post to get everyone's attention and their dander up, perhaps?

He sounds very unstable and I honestly fear for her life. Get out, who is the AH is far from your worst problem

I feel really bad for her, I really can't believe it's possible that someone can get to that point where you even have to wonder if you're the one that's wrong in this nonsense of a situation. I would've stopped paying the bills the moment someone does this to me, not to mention packing my bags and running away from this lunatic

Run.!!!!!!

This man needs psychological help. It sounds like he lost touch with reality and common sense, which is an indicator that something is not right and balanced in his brain.

OP I hope you are safe. Sendimg much love. You can do this lady. Nothing to feel bad about at all, he isn't respecting your vows. He is abusive, he broke This, not you.

He's hoping he can gaslight you into divorcing him and angling for alimony. Talk to a lawyer and run.

I think this is completel fabrication...complete and utter nonsense.

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If this was posted on Quora, it would immediately be chided as a troll question. She'd be "willing to compromise on them being on all day." Come on. This is either fake or she's been that mentally abused that she thinks leaving water running for 6 hours instead of 12 is a bargaining chip.

Troll?