Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
One practicality that couples need to talk through, preferably before getting married, is what their monetary policy will be going forward. After all, arguments about money can take a huge toll on a relationship.
How to split expenses is usually the first question in this discussion. There are plenty of different ways to do it and no single solution works for all, but according to creative consultant Keshav Kant, the primary principle remains the same: the division of financial responsibility in a relationship should be equitable, not equal.
Recently, Kant turned to Twitter to explain what she means by that and her thoughts instantly struck a chord with other users. As of this article, Kant’s tweet has nearly 100K likes. Plus, people are expanding on it, providing their own thoughts and experiences, and making the argument even stronger.
RELATED:
Image credits: MxKantEven
Kant said her tweet was inspired by another story she had read online. “There was a Reddit thread created by someone who was wealthy and in a relationship with someone who wasn’t. They all went on a vacation with their family (who are also wealthy), and during the vacation, the original poster’s partner didn’t go out as much, skipped meals, etc. because she couldn’t afford to pay as much,” Kant told Bored Panda.
“After the vacation was over they had a fight about money, he claimed she should’ve never gone if she couldn’t afford it because their relationship was 50:50. That inspired [my original] tweet, because that kind of division of money isn’t realistic,” she explained. “He’s a man, and statistically likely to make more than the women in his life. He’s also from a wealthy family, and has generational wealth, whereas she doesn’t. So he (and other people who are more financially secure than their partners) should pay equitably.”
According to Kant, most people on Twitter agreed and said that’s how it should be, but some claimed that it should only be 50-50. “The majority of the negative replies came from men claiming that this is just women trying to take advantage of them. Which is ridiculous because my statement applies to anyone who’s the wealthier person in a relationship, regardless of their gender.”
Image credits: MxKantEven
Money can make or break people’s lives, Kant said, and a relationship without clear financial expectations can create a lot of stress and hostility. “If you’re planning to stay together long term, you need to have a good understanding of what your combined financial state and needs are so you can build a solid life together,” she explained.
Kant wants people to understand that her statement doesn’t exist in a vacuum. “Money is never just a neutral thing and there are a million things to consider when you are in a relationship,” she said. “Financial agreements like the one I talked about in my tweet are ever-evolving. They should be regularly updated and changed as needed so that everyone involved feels satisfied with their part in the financial responsibilities. Outside of shared finances, couples should always work out how to save money independently, because sometimes relationships end and that’s okay. It’s just a matter of planning and preparedness.”
People say this line of thinking makes a lot of sense
Image credits: badwolftx
Image credits: badwolftx
Experts at the National Bank of Canada agree. The 50/50 split works when both people are making more or less the same. But if there is a significant salary gap between them, the distribution of expenses is more balanced if each contributes proportionally to their income.
The equation is really simple too: all you have to do is calculate what percentage of total household income is earned by each person and then apply this percentage to the total monthly budget.
Let’s take this hypothetical situation as an example: one of the spouses earns $75,000 per year and the other $25,000. The monthly household budget is $5,000. How do they allocate the expenses? The spouse who earns $75,000 transfers $3,750 to the joint account (or 75% of $5,000) and the other transfers the remaining $1,250 (25% of $5,000). Thus, each partner is contributing to shared expenses in relation to their financial capacity.
Image credits: HalfBougie
Image credits: DezireeBrock
Image credits: DPB0101
48% of Americans who are married or living with a partner say they argue with the person over money, according to a survey by The Cashlorette. Most of those fights are about spending habits: 60% said that one person spends too much or the other is too cheap.
These conflicts can have serious consequences. In many cases, they are the number one predictor of whether or not you’ll end up divorced, according to a study of more than 4,500 couples.
“Financial disagreements did predict divorce more strongly than other common problem areas like disagreements over household tasks or spending time together,” the authors concluded. Better to sort these things out!
Image credits: madw
Image credits: ImDaveKnight
Image credits: geofflangdale
Image credits: _Zuks
Image credits: WCBusch
Image credits: mrstownloner
Image credits: mrstownloner
Image credits: agnesbookbinder
Image credits: ehhmj
Image credits: thai111
Image credits: StacySwole
Image credits: shantismurf
What do you think ?
Hiker Chick 3 years ago
I may be old school, but these posts are weird to me. I was married for almost 25 years. We had joint bank accounts, both paychecks went in. We agreed on expenditures. When he quit his job to go back to school in his 30's, I covered all expenses. When I quit my job to stay home with the babies, he covered expenses. Like, it wasn't "my money" or "his money", we were just a married couple going through life. Have things changed or are most people distrustful of their partners? I see a lot of these posts and wonder if this is a new thing.
NsG 3 years ago
We have a joint account AND separate accounts. That way he can buy himself a new gaming mouse OR buy me a diamond ring without me then having to rebudget our household finances, because it's not part of the household finances. And I dont want to know how much he spent on my birthday this year because he has a tendency to feel guilty for "overspending". But, I think the most significant influence is that he comes from a family where his mother has been divorced three times. He trusts me completely (I'm the safe financial planner in the relationship) - its just hard to undo the financial lessons learned over his formative years.
Load More Replies...
Leodavinci 3 years ago
After reading this and all the BP replies up to this point, it's no wonder the leading issue of relationship breakups is over financial matters. I have come to the conclusion that as long as both parties agree and are happy with an arrangement, it doesn't really matter what the arrangement is... be it an "equitable" one, a 50/50 split, shared account, separate accounts, shared and joint accounts, or any other arrangement. People really, really need to take off the love blinders and discuss and agree (without coercion, i.e., "If you don't agree, we won't get married.") on what they are going to do... before they do anything. Be it moving in together, getting married, or whatever. A singular, one-size-fits-all, "proper" and correct, solution does not exist.
Jenn Ryan 3 years ago
My boyfriend and I have separate accounts. I write him a check for 50% of all the bills every month. We take turns buying groceries every week. When we go out, sometimes he pays, sometimes I do. Money has never been an issue or a focus in our relationship. It works for us. There is no right or wrong answer on this...I think it just comes down to good communication and balance. What works for one relationship may not work for another.
Hiker Chick 3 years ago
I may be old school, but these posts are weird to me. I was married for almost 25 years. We had joint bank accounts, both paychecks went in. We agreed on expenditures. When he quit his job to go back to school in his 30's, I covered all expenses. When I quit my job to stay home with the babies, he covered expenses. Like, it wasn't "my money" or "his money", we were just a married couple going through life. Have things changed or are most people distrustful of their partners? I see a lot of these posts and wonder if this is a new thing.
NsG 3 years ago
We have a joint account AND separate accounts. That way he can buy himself a new gaming mouse OR buy me a diamond ring without me then having to rebudget our household finances, because it's not part of the household finances. And I dont want to know how much he spent on my birthday this year because he has a tendency to feel guilty for "overspending". But, I think the most significant influence is that he comes from a family where his mother has been divorced three times. He trusts me completely (I'm the safe financial planner in the relationship) - its just hard to undo the financial lessons learned over his formative years.
Load More Replies... Leodavinci 3 years ago
After reading this and all the BP replies up to this point, it's no wonder the leading issue of relationship breakups is over financial matters. I have come to the conclusion that as long as both parties agree and are happy with an arrangement, it doesn't really matter what the arrangement is... be it an "equitable" one, a 50/50 split, shared account, separate accounts, shared and joint accounts, or any other arrangement. People really, really need to take off the love blinders and discuss and agree (without coercion, i.e., "If you don't agree, we won't get married.") on what they are going to do... before they do anything. Be it moving in together, getting married, or whatever. A singular, one-size-fits-all, "proper" and correct, solution does not exist.
Jenn Ryan 3 years ago
My boyfriend and I have separate accounts. I write him a check for 50% of all the bills every month. We take turns buying groceries every week. When we go out, sometimes he pays, sometimes I do. Money has never been an issue or a focus in our relationship. It works for us. There is no right or wrong answer on this...I think it just comes down to good communication and balance. What works for one relationship may not work for another.
Related on Bored Panda
98
79