Husband Gets The Silent Treatment After Partner Finds Out The Dinner He Ate Was Vegan
We have a lot of choices in what we can eat nowadays. All sorts of diets are becoming more and more popular, from paleo to carnivore. It’s no wonder, then, that people are gradually becoming more selective about their diets, putting in a great deal of effort to be sure what they put into their body.
With this in mind, we’ll be talking about a man who is very particular about his meat-eating habits, becoming extremely upset after he was given a delicious, albeit vegan, sandwich.
More info: Reddit
Addressing both persons’ dietary requirements and wants when you’re a couple may seem easy, but it’s far from it
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
A man took it online to figure out whether he was a jerk for “trying to make his husband vegan” by making him a sandwich with imitation pulled pork
Image credits: TheActual_Idiot
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
They usually cook for themselves, but it was the one occasion where the poster tried making a fancy dinner
Image credits: TheActual_Idiot
He made some vegan sandwiches and invited his husband, who lapped them up, even complimenting the poster on how good they were
Image credits: TheActual_Idiot
But when the partner found out that the pulled pork wasn’t real, he flipped, refusing to talk with his husband for hours
If you’ve ever had roommates or even cooked for your family members, you know how difficult it is coordinating a meal so everyone enjoys it. One person doesn’t like mushrooms, the other onions, and someone’s watching their diet…
It’s difficult not to give into temptation of simply making chicken nuggets or a freezer pizza in these cases.
I tip my hats to all stay-at-home moms and dads who make sure their kids and spouses have something to eat when they come home from school and work, because that really is a Tour de France in culinary endurance.
If you’re a fan of these kinds of stories, you’ve probably heard more than once that couples get into rows specifically because of these kinds of reasons. Eating habits may seem like a non-issue at the start, but if you need the classic 3 meals per day to stay bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, you can begin to see that cooking together makes life much easier.
Luckily enough, the couple from the original poster’s (OP) story has that sorted. Since they work different hours, they cook for themselves. Shared meals are very sporadic and occasional, but with one of them being a meat-eater and the other vegan – it works.
The OP would even be willing to cook something with meat in it, despite the fact that he’d rather avoid handling it. In my opinion, that’s an expression of true love, if ever there was one.
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)
Considering all that, it’s quite sad that jackfruit in the style of pulled pork would create a conflict as big as the one in OP’s text. So far there has been no update to the story, so we’re unsure if they’ve worked through it, but fingers crossed!
I don’t like getting all armchair psychologist at the best of times, but perhaps this conflict is the partner lashing out at OP for something else? Maybe he’s gotten fed up making his own meals or the poster’s vegan cooking, could be anything. Could also be nothing, so take that with a grain of salt.
Perhaps all of this talk of imitation meats has got you interested in healthier alternatives to red meats, and let me tell you, there are so many options for you to try out.
First of all, according to OP and the internet, BBQ jackfruit pulled pork is a very convincing and delicious alternative to the real deal, so that’s one thing to try.
Tofu is another thing to try. Don’t be wrong, it won’t really taste like meat. It’s still gonna be tofu, but it absorbs spices and aromas very well, plus it’s a fairly good source of protein.
If you’re looking for that meaty taste and texture, some people swear up and down that seitan is the thing. It’s made from wheat in a way that removes the starch, so you’re left with something that has a meaty texture and takes on flavor very well. It’s also quite dense in protein, if that’s what you’re looking for.
Your best bet is buying it pre-made, but you can also make it yourself, if you’re feeling in a culinary mood.
Don’t be afraid to experiment and try new things! I’d certainly agree that meat tastes great, but if you’re a self proclaimed “meativore”, all you’re doing is missing out on far too many tastes, textures, and experiences.
Bored Panda also reached out to an expert in vegan cooking to hear her perspective and get some tips for all the up-and-coming vegans out there
In order to get hear a fresh perspective and land some bonafide delicious recipes to boot, Bored Panda reached out to Sam Turnbull, a vegan recipe blogger, and 3-time best-selling cookbook author. Sam runs her website – It Doesn’t Taste Like Chicken – full of attractive and vegan recipes to satisfy any and every craving you may have.
Sam has gone on a really amazing and frankly inspiring culinary journey of going from an avid meat eater to a reluctant vegan to where she is now. You can read all of it in depth on her about page.
For a start, we asked Sam what she thought about the situation at hand, and this is what she had to say:
“Personally, I think the husband overreacted. Their partner made them a lovely meal and they enjoyed it. What’s the problem? Thank them for making such a lovely meal. If the husband wants to cook the next meal, they can cook whatever they want. Just as no one should (or can be) forced to be vegan, no one should be forced to cook a meal they don’t want to prepare. So if the partner wants to cook vegan one night then they should do that. If the husband wants to cook the next night, they can cook whatever it is they want to eat.”
For anyone that’s also a reluctant vegan or struggling to bring something to various parties with a non-vegan crowd, Sam has that worked out to a T.
“When I first went vegan (over 10 years ago), many people didn’t even know what vegan meant or how to pronounce the word, so some family members were a bit hesitant to try my food. But when they realized my dishes were made up of all the same ingredients they already consume—vegetables, fruits, grains, legumes, nuts, seeds, and spices—they became interested to try my dishes. Now, anytime I make a meal, everyone is eager to try it, and usually loves it. There are no complaints, just a lot of compliments! As long as the dishes are tasty and satisfying, everyone is happy. Now as a 3 x bestselling vegan cookbook author, my dishes are often the star of the show, and everyone wants to taste my latest creation. I also love when my non-vegan friends and family make special vegan dishes to share with me, it really makes you feel loved and cared for.”
Image credits: Geraud pfeiffer (not the actual photo)
Finally, in a similar vein to me, but with much more experience and, most importantly – taste, Sam gives suggestions for recipes that are worth trying out.
“Whenever I’m serving non-vegan friends, I love making a huge taco spread. Everybody loves tacos! Put out dishes of all your favorite taco fillings, and then everyone can pick and choose the toppings they like. It’s always a hit! Try my Tofu Taco Crumbles and Jackfruit Tacos. And for dessert, try my 10 minute Vegan Lemon Curd which is fantastic on top of homemade vanilla cashew ice cream. Learn my technique to make ice cream in a blender here.”
For the cherry on top, Sam Turnbull shares some insides about her upcoming cookbook:
“I believe that food is all about balancing flavor and texture such as crispy, salty, fatty, silky, chewy, sweet, and sour… if you make food that satisfies those cravings, everyone will love it (vegan or not). That’s why I wrote my latest cookbook Craving Vegan which is hitting shelves October 24, 2023. The book is divided into cravings so whether you’ve got a hankering for something eggy, carby, cheesy, creamy, crunchy, spicy, meaty, chocolatey, or sugary, I’ve got recipes that will satisfy your cravings the plant-based way.”
So, once again, if you’re attempting to go down the vegan road or would simply like to spice up your repertoire with healthy, nutritious, and plant-based dishes, be sure to visit Sam’s website or check out her book!
The poster’s story has collected over 16k upvotes, with a whopping 12k comments. The commenters, many of whom were meat eaters, all said that they simply can’t comprehend the poster’s husband, who decided to flip out only after eating the finger-licking good sandwich. Because of this, the community judged him to be the jerk, absolving OP.
Share your own thoughts about this story in the comments!
The community judged the husband who got upset at the sandwiches to be the true jerk of the day
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Share on FacebookIf a vegan offers me food, I automatically assume it's vegan. I mean, why wouldn't it be?
There was a saying where I grew up, 'If you spend time with squirrels, expect acorns for dinner'. Wasn't intended for this purpose, but hey, if the hat fits...
Load More Replies...Pretty sure something else is going on with the hubby that's not related to the food. You don't react to something you enjoyed like that, regardless of your personal stances on things. OP said he was stressed about work...? I'm a meat lover, and I despise Jackfruit, so if I ate it and enjoyed it (even if you lied to me and told me it was meat beforehand), I would be surprised, impressed, and even more complimentary, like any reasonable human being would.
I wonder if he has any militant meat eaters in his life somewhere, maybe at work, that have been in his ear about how all vegans want everyone to give up meat; and since he is married to one he will be the first one to be made to change his diet etc. Just reading the post, it doesn't sound like he had a reason to react so out of character just because he ate one vegan friendly meal.
Load More Replies...The non-cooking partner sounds like they had a really tough day, and instead of accepting the meal they interpreted it as an attempt to change them. The husbands need to sit down and talk. It's perfectly reasonable for a vegan to make vegan food, and if others want to eat the food, that's great. It doesn't make them vegan, and it isn't even an attempt to 'turn them'. It's just good food. If the meat-eating husband wants to eat meat, that's fine, but it's not fine to expect the vegan husband to be making meat-based meals. ... Just accept the tasty food, thank the cook, and eat.
My family aren't vegan, I'm not vegan, but we eat vegan meals about twice a week, and a vegetarian one about once a week. My family are more than happy to eat good food, and to try out new recipes.
Load More Replies...As a HEFTY meat lover, what is his problem??? I'd be over the moon for my partner to make me delicious food, vegan or not, as long as they're not forcing it on me, which he clearly isn't. Why is it just because I won't become vegan and love meat that suddenly i'm supposed to avoid vegan food like a plague? Eating vegan food is not gonna hurt you and you can still eat meat. Making you something vegan doesn't mean she's trying to convert you, you weirdo-
Exactly....eating one vegan meal doesn't make someone a vegan. Delicious food is delicious food regardless of what's in it for us non-restrictive diet folks.
Load More Replies...I'm not vegan, but I've eaten a few vegan dishes. When prepared properly they can be quite tasty. The husband is an asshat.
Definitely, vegan and vegetarian food can be super tasty. Husband needs to calm down. Maybe he's pissed off that he takes pride in not being a vegan and he really enjoyed the sandwich, so that's made him angry.
Load More Replies...Husband eats Oreo cookie, angrily turns to package of Oreos, "WTF YOU TRYING TO TURN ME VEGAN?!", flips table
Oreo’s aren’t vegan tho they have milk in the cream 💀 EDIT: Still funny tho EDIT 2: Today I learned that’s false lmao
Load More Replies...This is silly. I don't pretend to be vegan or even vegetarian, but I will eat meat free sometimes. My bf is Jewish so I do eat kosher with him during the high holidays. He never expects me to but I do it because it's fun. Sounds like that guy needs to broaden his horizons a bit and try new things
The older I get, the more I think it's normal for guys in their early to mid 20's to act out like that. So full of p**s and vinegar at that age, and very likely getting "opinions" from somewhere. By and large this was a response of immaturity. If OP had pretended it was meat that would've been a bit of a d**k move, but that wasn't an issue evidently.
OP’s husband is being ridiculous. If he made his husband, say, oatmeal and fruit for breakfast, would hubby have the same angry reaction just because it’s vegan? Lots of food is made or grown without animal products in it. My last burger-themed restaurant even used vegan gravy just so we had an option for vegans and vegetarians (you could NOT tell the difference, it was surprisingly delicious gravy and we usually didn’t tell anyone it was veg unless they asked - because it truly doesn’t matter, if you‘ve chosen to be an omnivore you can eat it just fine.)
I'm not vegetarian but I'll happily go to a vegetarian restaurant with my dad who is. Sounds to me like the husband blew up over something utterly unimportant because he's massively stressed out about something unrelated. Like the time when I had been feeling miserable for days but didn't actually start crying until I burned my finger on a cup of tea. The minor owwie was just the last little thing which pushed me over the edge.
I like to know what I'm eating so I would have asked in advance, although I think OP should have mentioned it was jackfruit before they started eating given his husband seemingly expected something meat based. Also, I want to know how you can make jackfruit, which has a definite sweet, fruity flavour, taste like pork. I'm assuming it's due to added herbs, spices or whatever else OP added to the mix
I've had pulled jackfruit in a pastry and honestly I can't say if I'd have known it wasn't pork. The texture is about right and if it's cooked in something quite saucy I can see how the flavour might not be a giveaway.
Load More Replies...I have a family member like this. He will lose his fking mind if you feed him something that he thinks has meat in it, but it doesn't. I make fried spicy spring rolls, that everyone seems to love because they request them, but they don't have meat. For some reason, this made him lose his sh*t when he found out. Full blown toddler tantrum. He's honestly a massive ahole, normally, but really it was as if we had informed him he was to be castrated. Some people feel like eating non meat foods threatens their masculinity, somehow. As if you can't both eat meat and also enjoy vegan food.
Eating a vegan meal doesn't mean that you have to become vegan. I eat pasta all the time and that doesn't make me Italian.
Oh, please - your husband sounds incredibly immature. He ate a sandwich he enjoyed, going so far as to compliment you on it, and THEN freaked out when he found out it was vegan? WTF? I used to host family dinners about once a month. Sis & her family are vegan. OK. I'd make my amazing spaghetti bolognese, but instead of putting meat into the sauce, I just served Italian sausages on the side. We also loved "make your own" Greek salads. A huge bowl of greens with everything else on the side: salami, feta, olives, red onions, cucumbers, garbanzo beans, etc. Nobody ever complained & nobody ever went home hungry.
My husband is a big meat eater. He could eat meat every day in huge portions. He can even eat only meat. But he still eats salads. That does not make him a vegan.
i had chinese food last week and i'm still not chinese. if someone gives me chinese food, i don't assume that they are trying to force me into their culture. and if i'm eating noodles and the person who made them said they used a chinese recipe, i wouldn't accuse them of forcing me to become chinese.
There is NOTHING WRONG with a meat eater enjoying a vegan dish from time to time, if he is so against it like this, you may want to rethink spending your life with him.
I often cook for several people. Always, it's completely vegan, as I'm very strict about it, and I invite people - I don't catch them or hold them hostage. I've never had any complaints, nobody had to leave hungry or disappointed, because they all know what they're up to. ONE meal and he goes off like that? Sure that there's no other issue that needs to be solved...?
You eat, it is tasty, you ask what it in it, you remember for next time. Or it isn't, and you ask to avoid it next time. That is broadening your culinary horizons. If there is meat in it, it is nothing more them a ingredient.. I personally don't like "meat replacements" but anything else is ok, vegetarian, vegan. Just enjoy the foods you enjoy. F**k the opinions.
Our family isn't vegan at all and we try stuff like this all the time. It's not a big deal. What's wrong finding alternatives just to change it up a bit? My question is why he assumed it was meat, knowing his partner is vegan. Did he think she was earing pork?
NTA umm have you ever cooked pasta with plain marinara sauce and a green salad? Maybe with bread? THAT'S vegan!! Jeez! Cheese pizza, my point there are tons of foods he eats on a regular basis, chips and salsa, beer, etc that qualify as vegan! He has an issue, not you. He needs to come to terms or start cooking every meal and accommodate you! If, and I am serious, IF you want a long, happy marriage, Get this under control and out of the way now. Good luck.
I had tamales made with jackfruit. They were delicious! I'm a confirmed carnivore, but I'd definitely eat them again!
I’m not vegan, but eat and prepare meals that don’t contain meat. I think she probably should have mentioned something beforehand, like “Hey, I’m trying this new recipe…do you want to try it?” and let him decide whether he wants to or not. When I tell my husband I’m making veggie lasagna, he knows there won’t be meat in it.
Not a dang thing wrong with a meat eater having a delicious alternative from time to time!! And the silent treatment? He is a child stuck inside an adult's body, and he either needs to see a psychotherapist or you definitely should get out of this marriage.
I don't really think anyone is an AH here I think OP's husband is just stressed out from work and assumed that it was meat, not thinking anything about it, and then feeling tricked when he found out it wasn't. He shouldn't take it out on OP but I don't think it's about the sandwich in this case. To solve this potential issue in the future tell him what's in the food before he eats it, but OP is not in the wrong
I literally just read about jackfruit pulled pork substitute like earlier today and wanted to try it. Guy needs to chill out, I love meat and some vegan food sounds delicious.
The husband's reaction is ridiculous. Both my boyfriend and I are meat eaters, but I often make vegan recipes because vegan food is fantastic and I enjoy it. My boyfriend has never complained, and he's often enjoyed the meals himself. Just because we eat meat on a regular basis doesn't mean that we can't try vegan food or enjoy it. Hubby here needs to get a grip.
NTA. You don't turn into a vegan just because you sometimes eat vegan food. If you know that your husband is a vegan, why on earth would you be surprised that they cooked something vegan? You are it and you liked it, what are you whining about?
I don't see this happening in an otherwise heathly marriage, I imagine there was some buildup to this situation.
Many red flags were missed. I feel for OP. 20-30 years down the line they'll be asking themselves how they ever thought this guy wasn't abusive.
Load More Replies...I would only be upset if I was served tofu without being told as I am severely intolerant to it.
Under these circumstances, your comment is extremely random, as literally none of those conditions exist in this post.
Load More Replies...Not really the AH. He'll get over it. I think husband was more embarrassed than angry. What did he think it was before OP told him it was vegan? I've seen both staunch meat eaters and staunch vegans. Nobody likes to be fooled. Husband may feel like he was blindsided. There's a problem there that may not have anything to do with the meal. So if you'd like to try offering him a vegan meal again, you better tell him first.
Why if the meal is meatless does it HAVE to be labeled vegan? There are many MANY meatless meals we eat every day! Salad, beans, tortillas, quesadillas, so many options that are meatless. Why do they have to be called vegan? My mom grew up in a time where meat was served one day a week. I myself prepare meals during the week that are meatless. Seems to me the label is the issue.
I would have been upset because the substitute was jackfruit. I can't deal with the texture. If it had been beans or any other substitute, I wouldn't have minded at all.
Rule for crying out loud what are you both 10 years old you could have just said to him hey I tried a new Vegas recipe you want to try it and he could have tried it without having a temper tantrum like both of you are immature there's people out there died of cancer and you're having a fight over stupid Jackfruit or pulled pork give me a break
He’s not a waiter at Olive Garden. Unless he was serving a group where someone might have an allergy or something he probably won’t describe everything that went into the food.
Load More Replies...i have a different take, if i may. i was starting a weight loss journey, and my friend that i was staying with (i was in my hometown for 6 weeks to help my mom) is gluten free. occasionally. so when i told her that i have no intention of going gluten free, or to religiously count calories, she ignored me. she took a beer out of my hand because it had gluten in it. I had/have disordered eating, and having someone try to manage my food is very very stressful. I have zero problem with buying ingredients for her gluten-free cooking, i will eat it with gusto and clean up after. but being told what i can or cannot eat is a bridge too far. i understand the science emerging around gluten sensitivity; i am not gluten sensitive. When i explained to her that the gluten content of each food, every conversations extolling virtues of gluten-free lifestyle, all of that will make me feel shame around food, she fought back, saying she was doing it for me. I have lost 43 pounds, nearly all of that...
I guess that´s the issue behind his anger here. Not saying the partner is 100% in the right, but I get a feeling it was kind of "gotcha, I got you thinking you eat meat and you didn´t realize it´s vegan. see?" from her (like I bet she very deliberately was vague and had him keep on believing it was meat. Coming home from a hard day, being shown a "surprise dinner" to lighten up the mood, to then realize it was basically a set up for a gotcha situation - I kind of get it. Also: OP asking if he is TA for MAKING a vegan meal instead of for setting him up about what he ate (being intentionally vague) is also a bit of an AH move...
Load More Replies...I dunno, I can kind of see how the husband could think he was being tricked. He likely had no idea you could make something resembling pulled pork from vegan ingredients. And the author probably had a fair idea that the husband would assume it was meat. I don't see why the author didn't just say, hey I tried this cool looking recipe for vegan pork would you try it for me? Isn't that what you do when you are excited about trying a new recipe-talk about it? Instead he didn't even mention it. I don't think the author is being quite entirely truthful about his intentions here. There's a bit of acting innocent going on. I can see the husband being upset at the deception much more than it being about the food he ate. Generally anytime you make food for another person it's best to be honest about what's in it.
So the OP should act like an Olive Garden waiter and describe every detail of the meal under 15 seconds when asked what’s in it? Or perhaps maybe the husband couldn’t be such an asśhole. But sure it’s the OP’s responsibility.
Load More Replies...You are very homophobic, the OP clearly states they are both Male(M).
Load More Replies...Bro that’s different! OP’s husband can eat a vegan meal just fine. OP cannot eat meat as it goes against his beliefs!
Load More Replies...Hey guys, I found the homophobe, their name is Maja Tadic
Load More Replies...What the s**t? When did OP ever lie. He didn’t say “Here’s your pulled pork sandwich. Oop haha tricked you it was vegan LOL!”
Load More Replies...Wow, you are quite the homophobic person aren't you? The OP clearly states they are gay.
Load More Replies...Dude, that lacked logic so hard it was almost hard to tell it wasn't sarcasm.....like, the level of sheer willful ignorance and flat out stupidity necessary to make that statement is, in itself, impressive.
Load More Replies...If a vegan offers me food, I automatically assume it's vegan. I mean, why wouldn't it be?
There was a saying where I grew up, 'If you spend time with squirrels, expect acorns for dinner'. Wasn't intended for this purpose, but hey, if the hat fits...
Load More Replies...Pretty sure something else is going on with the hubby that's not related to the food. You don't react to something you enjoyed like that, regardless of your personal stances on things. OP said he was stressed about work...? I'm a meat lover, and I despise Jackfruit, so if I ate it and enjoyed it (even if you lied to me and told me it was meat beforehand), I would be surprised, impressed, and even more complimentary, like any reasonable human being would.
I wonder if he has any militant meat eaters in his life somewhere, maybe at work, that have been in his ear about how all vegans want everyone to give up meat; and since he is married to one he will be the first one to be made to change his diet etc. Just reading the post, it doesn't sound like he had a reason to react so out of character just because he ate one vegan friendly meal.
Load More Replies...The non-cooking partner sounds like they had a really tough day, and instead of accepting the meal they interpreted it as an attempt to change them. The husbands need to sit down and talk. It's perfectly reasonable for a vegan to make vegan food, and if others want to eat the food, that's great. It doesn't make them vegan, and it isn't even an attempt to 'turn them'. It's just good food. If the meat-eating husband wants to eat meat, that's fine, but it's not fine to expect the vegan husband to be making meat-based meals. ... Just accept the tasty food, thank the cook, and eat.
My family aren't vegan, I'm not vegan, but we eat vegan meals about twice a week, and a vegetarian one about once a week. My family are more than happy to eat good food, and to try out new recipes.
Load More Replies...As a HEFTY meat lover, what is his problem??? I'd be over the moon for my partner to make me delicious food, vegan or not, as long as they're not forcing it on me, which he clearly isn't. Why is it just because I won't become vegan and love meat that suddenly i'm supposed to avoid vegan food like a plague? Eating vegan food is not gonna hurt you and you can still eat meat. Making you something vegan doesn't mean she's trying to convert you, you weirdo-
Exactly....eating one vegan meal doesn't make someone a vegan. Delicious food is delicious food regardless of what's in it for us non-restrictive diet folks.
Load More Replies...I'm not vegan, but I've eaten a few vegan dishes. When prepared properly they can be quite tasty. The husband is an asshat.
Definitely, vegan and vegetarian food can be super tasty. Husband needs to calm down. Maybe he's pissed off that he takes pride in not being a vegan and he really enjoyed the sandwich, so that's made him angry.
Load More Replies...Husband eats Oreo cookie, angrily turns to package of Oreos, "WTF YOU TRYING TO TURN ME VEGAN?!", flips table
Oreo’s aren’t vegan tho they have milk in the cream 💀 EDIT: Still funny tho EDIT 2: Today I learned that’s false lmao
Load More Replies...This is silly. I don't pretend to be vegan or even vegetarian, but I will eat meat free sometimes. My bf is Jewish so I do eat kosher with him during the high holidays. He never expects me to but I do it because it's fun. Sounds like that guy needs to broaden his horizons a bit and try new things
The older I get, the more I think it's normal for guys in their early to mid 20's to act out like that. So full of p**s and vinegar at that age, and very likely getting "opinions" from somewhere. By and large this was a response of immaturity. If OP had pretended it was meat that would've been a bit of a d**k move, but that wasn't an issue evidently.
OP’s husband is being ridiculous. If he made his husband, say, oatmeal and fruit for breakfast, would hubby have the same angry reaction just because it’s vegan? Lots of food is made or grown without animal products in it. My last burger-themed restaurant even used vegan gravy just so we had an option for vegans and vegetarians (you could NOT tell the difference, it was surprisingly delicious gravy and we usually didn’t tell anyone it was veg unless they asked - because it truly doesn’t matter, if you‘ve chosen to be an omnivore you can eat it just fine.)
I'm not vegetarian but I'll happily go to a vegetarian restaurant with my dad who is. Sounds to me like the husband blew up over something utterly unimportant because he's massively stressed out about something unrelated. Like the time when I had been feeling miserable for days but didn't actually start crying until I burned my finger on a cup of tea. The minor owwie was just the last little thing which pushed me over the edge.
I like to know what I'm eating so I would have asked in advance, although I think OP should have mentioned it was jackfruit before they started eating given his husband seemingly expected something meat based. Also, I want to know how you can make jackfruit, which has a definite sweet, fruity flavour, taste like pork. I'm assuming it's due to added herbs, spices or whatever else OP added to the mix
I've had pulled jackfruit in a pastry and honestly I can't say if I'd have known it wasn't pork. The texture is about right and if it's cooked in something quite saucy I can see how the flavour might not be a giveaway.
Load More Replies...I have a family member like this. He will lose his fking mind if you feed him something that he thinks has meat in it, but it doesn't. I make fried spicy spring rolls, that everyone seems to love because they request them, but they don't have meat. For some reason, this made him lose his sh*t when he found out. Full blown toddler tantrum. He's honestly a massive ahole, normally, but really it was as if we had informed him he was to be castrated. Some people feel like eating non meat foods threatens their masculinity, somehow. As if you can't both eat meat and also enjoy vegan food.
Eating a vegan meal doesn't mean that you have to become vegan. I eat pasta all the time and that doesn't make me Italian.
Oh, please - your husband sounds incredibly immature. He ate a sandwich he enjoyed, going so far as to compliment you on it, and THEN freaked out when he found out it was vegan? WTF? I used to host family dinners about once a month. Sis & her family are vegan. OK. I'd make my amazing spaghetti bolognese, but instead of putting meat into the sauce, I just served Italian sausages on the side. We also loved "make your own" Greek salads. A huge bowl of greens with everything else on the side: salami, feta, olives, red onions, cucumbers, garbanzo beans, etc. Nobody ever complained & nobody ever went home hungry.
My husband is a big meat eater. He could eat meat every day in huge portions. He can even eat only meat. But he still eats salads. That does not make him a vegan.
i had chinese food last week and i'm still not chinese. if someone gives me chinese food, i don't assume that they are trying to force me into their culture. and if i'm eating noodles and the person who made them said they used a chinese recipe, i wouldn't accuse them of forcing me to become chinese.
There is NOTHING WRONG with a meat eater enjoying a vegan dish from time to time, if he is so against it like this, you may want to rethink spending your life with him.
I often cook for several people. Always, it's completely vegan, as I'm very strict about it, and I invite people - I don't catch them or hold them hostage. I've never had any complaints, nobody had to leave hungry or disappointed, because they all know what they're up to. ONE meal and he goes off like that? Sure that there's no other issue that needs to be solved...?
You eat, it is tasty, you ask what it in it, you remember for next time. Or it isn't, and you ask to avoid it next time. That is broadening your culinary horizons. If there is meat in it, it is nothing more them a ingredient.. I personally don't like "meat replacements" but anything else is ok, vegetarian, vegan. Just enjoy the foods you enjoy. F**k the opinions.
Our family isn't vegan at all and we try stuff like this all the time. It's not a big deal. What's wrong finding alternatives just to change it up a bit? My question is why he assumed it was meat, knowing his partner is vegan. Did he think she was earing pork?
NTA umm have you ever cooked pasta with plain marinara sauce and a green salad? Maybe with bread? THAT'S vegan!! Jeez! Cheese pizza, my point there are tons of foods he eats on a regular basis, chips and salsa, beer, etc that qualify as vegan! He has an issue, not you. He needs to come to terms or start cooking every meal and accommodate you! If, and I am serious, IF you want a long, happy marriage, Get this under control and out of the way now. Good luck.
I had tamales made with jackfruit. They were delicious! I'm a confirmed carnivore, but I'd definitely eat them again!
I’m not vegan, but eat and prepare meals that don’t contain meat. I think she probably should have mentioned something beforehand, like “Hey, I’m trying this new recipe…do you want to try it?” and let him decide whether he wants to or not. When I tell my husband I’m making veggie lasagna, he knows there won’t be meat in it.
Not a dang thing wrong with a meat eater having a delicious alternative from time to time!! And the silent treatment? He is a child stuck inside an adult's body, and he either needs to see a psychotherapist or you definitely should get out of this marriage.
I don't really think anyone is an AH here I think OP's husband is just stressed out from work and assumed that it was meat, not thinking anything about it, and then feeling tricked when he found out it wasn't. He shouldn't take it out on OP but I don't think it's about the sandwich in this case. To solve this potential issue in the future tell him what's in the food before he eats it, but OP is not in the wrong
I literally just read about jackfruit pulled pork substitute like earlier today and wanted to try it. Guy needs to chill out, I love meat and some vegan food sounds delicious.
The husband's reaction is ridiculous. Both my boyfriend and I are meat eaters, but I often make vegan recipes because vegan food is fantastic and I enjoy it. My boyfriend has never complained, and he's often enjoyed the meals himself. Just because we eat meat on a regular basis doesn't mean that we can't try vegan food or enjoy it. Hubby here needs to get a grip.
NTA. You don't turn into a vegan just because you sometimes eat vegan food. If you know that your husband is a vegan, why on earth would you be surprised that they cooked something vegan? You are it and you liked it, what are you whining about?
I don't see this happening in an otherwise heathly marriage, I imagine there was some buildup to this situation.
Many red flags were missed. I feel for OP. 20-30 years down the line they'll be asking themselves how they ever thought this guy wasn't abusive.
Load More Replies...I would only be upset if I was served tofu without being told as I am severely intolerant to it.
Under these circumstances, your comment is extremely random, as literally none of those conditions exist in this post.
Load More Replies...Not really the AH. He'll get over it. I think husband was more embarrassed than angry. What did he think it was before OP told him it was vegan? I've seen both staunch meat eaters and staunch vegans. Nobody likes to be fooled. Husband may feel like he was blindsided. There's a problem there that may not have anything to do with the meal. So if you'd like to try offering him a vegan meal again, you better tell him first.
Why if the meal is meatless does it HAVE to be labeled vegan? There are many MANY meatless meals we eat every day! Salad, beans, tortillas, quesadillas, so many options that are meatless. Why do they have to be called vegan? My mom grew up in a time where meat was served one day a week. I myself prepare meals during the week that are meatless. Seems to me the label is the issue.
I would have been upset because the substitute was jackfruit. I can't deal with the texture. If it had been beans or any other substitute, I wouldn't have minded at all.
Rule for crying out loud what are you both 10 years old you could have just said to him hey I tried a new Vegas recipe you want to try it and he could have tried it without having a temper tantrum like both of you are immature there's people out there died of cancer and you're having a fight over stupid Jackfruit or pulled pork give me a break
He’s not a waiter at Olive Garden. Unless he was serving a group where someone might have an allergy or something he probably won’t describe everything that went into the food.
Load More Replies...i have a different take, if i may. i was starting a weight loss journey, and my friend that i was staying with (i was in my hometown for 6 weeks to help my mom) is gluten free. occasionally. so when i told her that i have no intention of going gluten free, or to religiously count calories, she ignored me. she took a beer out of my hand because it had gluten in it. I had/have disordered eating, and having someone try to manage my food is very very stressful. I have zero problem with buying ingredients for her gluten-free cooking, i will eat it with gusto and clean up after. but being told what i can or cannot eat is a bridge too far. i understand the science emerging around gluten sensitivity; i am not gluten sensitive. When i explained to her that the gluten content of each food, every conversations extolling virtues of gluten-free lifestyle, all of that will make me feel shame around food, she fought back, saying she was doing it for me. I have lost 43 pounds, nearly all of that...
I guess that´s the issue behind his anger here. Not saying the partner is 100% in the right, but I get a feeling it was kind of "gotcha, I got you thinking you eat meat and you didn´t realize it´s vegan. see?" from her (like I bet she very deliberately was vague and had him keep on believing it was meat. Coming home from a hard day, being shown a "surprise dinner" to lighten up the mood, to then realize it was basically a set up for a gotcha situation - I kind of get it. Also: OP asking if he is TA for MAKING a vegan meal instead of for setting him up about what he ate (being intentionally vague) is also a bit of an AH move...
Load More Replies...I dunno, I can kind of see how the husband could think he was being tricked. He likely had no idea you could make something resembling pulled pork from vegan ingredients. And the author probably had a fair idea that the husband would assume it was meat. I don't see why the author didn't just say, hey I tried this cool looking recipe for vegan pork would you try it for me? Isn't that what you do when you are excited about trying a new recipe-talk about it? Instead he didn't even mention it. I don't think the author is being quite entirely truthful about his intentions here. There's a bit of acting innocent going on. I can see the husband being upset at the deception much more than it being about the food he ate. Generally anytime you make food for another person it's best to be honest about what's in it.
So the OP should act like an Olive Garden waiter and describe every detail of the meal under 15 seconds when asked what’s in it? Or perhaps maybe the husband couldn’t be such an asśhole. But sure it’s the OP’s responsibility.
Load More Replies...You are very homophobic, the OP clearly states they are both Male(M).
Load More Replies...Bro that’s different! OP’s husband can eat a vegan meal just fine. OP cannot eat meat as it goes against his beliefs!
Load More Replies...Hey guys, I found the homophobe, their name is Maja Tadic
Load More Replies...What the s**t? When did OP ever lie. He didn’t say “Here’s your pulled pork sandwich. Oop haha tricked you it was vegan LOL!”
Load More Replies...Wow, you are quite the homophobic person aren't you? The OP clearly states they are gay.
Load More Replies...Dude, that lacked logic so hard it was almost hard to tell it wasn't sarcasm.....like, the level of sheer willful ignorance and flat out stupidity necessary to make that statement is, in itself, impressive.
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