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Man Learns Disturbing Information After Checking If He Can Donate A Kidney To His Wife
There are many factors to consider when deciding who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Have the two of you learned how to solve conflicts in a healthy way? Do you have fun together? Do you feel supported by them?
It’s important to dot all of your i’s and cross all of your t’s before tying the knot, as it can be devastating when your world is turned upside down after years of marriage. One man learned this lesson the hard way after getting tested to find out if he would be a suitable kidney donor for his wife. Below, you’ll find the full story that he posted on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
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This man decided to get tested to see if he would be a suitable kidney donor for his wife
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
But he never could have prepared for the information that the doctor told him
Image source: throwway_wifeismyHS
Image credits: Dev Asangbam (not the actual photo)
After deciding to go through with the donation process, the man shared an update on his situation
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Image source: throwway_wifeismyHS
Recipients often have to wait 3-5 years before finding a kidney donor
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
In this story, the man shared that his wife is in need of a kidney transplant, which can be an extremely difficult position to be in. The American Kidney Fund notes on their site that, at any given moment, there are over 100,000 people on the national transplant waiting list in the United States. And the majority of people searching for a donor will have to wait between three and five years.
During this time, it’s crucial that those waiting for a donation stay as healthy as possible. This means regularly visiting the doctor, eating a healthy diet and taking medications on time. But because of the mystery surrounding when a donation will be available, this can be an emotionally exhausting time for recipients and their families.
Unfortunately, people are not given a donor solely based on how long they’ve been waiting, as many factors are considered before someone finds a match. It also depends on the age of the recipient, their blood type, the size of the donor’s kidney, how urgently the recipient needs a kidney and the distance between the recipient and the donor.
Because it can be so complicated trying to find an appropriate donor, the National Kidney Federation says that the most suitable donor is typically a brother, sister, parent or child of the recipient. However, more distant relatives and friends can sometimes donate as well.
While it must have been devastating for the man who shared this story to realize that he is related to his wife, this information might have saved her life by getting her a donor without needing to wait around for years.
The most suitable donors are typically relatives of the recipient
Image credits: National Cancer Institute (not the actual photo)
It’s also important to consider how giving up an organ will impact the donor, as it’s not an easy process for either party to go through. The American Kidney Fund explains that many tests and exams must be run to ensure that the donor is healthy enough to part with one of their kidneys.
There are potential physical risks that come along with donating a kidney, such as pain, bloating, fatigue, infection and nausea. Donors must also be careful with their alcohol intake after their surgery, as they’ll have to rely on one kidney staying healthy for the rest of their life.
Clearly, the father in this story truly loves his wife, as he was willing to undergo surgery that could potentially harm himself to save her. And surprisingly, they’re not the first couple to ever be in this situation.
But there’s a difference between finding out information like this a few months into dating and learning this after being married for years and building a family together. This couple is in love, and their children are happy and healthy. There’s no need to blow up all of their lives over this.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this complicated situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this father made the right choice by keeping this information to himself? Feel free to weigh in, and then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues right here.
Many readers agreed that it’s not necessary for the author to blow up his whole life over this
And some were extremely skeptical that the couple is actually related
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What do you think ?
Nadine Debard 8 months ago
So, in the edit, she saw his account, asked her father (her husband's father, too) about his previous relationships, he told her about this woman whose parents suddenly prevent them to see each other (op says he saw the picture of this woman and he looks like her), and she disappeared, and then he met his wife. OP finally came clean, they talked, she was fine with the situation and they decided to never tell anybody and have the kids checked later.
Lyoness 8 months ago
Best possible result. It doesn't impact anyone outside their immediate family so there's no reason to tell anyone else. Genetic testing for the kids and a quiet vasectomy, problem solved.
Load More Replies...
Jenna Kay 8 months ago
When I went to my great aunt's 100th birthday party, I ran into an old boyfriend. We were shocked, and come to find out we were related! We had only broken up because his family moved away, and this was long before cell phones and social media, so it would have been hard to keep the relationship going. We would have found out sooner, but his family had missed a wedding that mine had attended!!
Caffeinated Ape 8 months ago
First of all; YIKES. Second, OOP posted an update on his profile (link here: https://www.reddit.com/user/throwway_wifeismyHS/ ) talking about how he'd come clean to his wife and it sounds like she handled it well. I mean, as well as one can handle news like that. I say again; YIKES.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
Definitely important to tell the kids SOMETHING later on, or get them tested. There are a lot of genetic diseases and conditions out there that are recessive. I'm adopted myself and, while I never wanted kids and never had them, I have always been lifelong terrified/low-key concerned about what genetic issues might crop up in my life or that I may be prone to. My adopted family IS my family, but I sure would love to know my genetic familial medical history. At least OP's kids have the chance to :x
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
Similar situations have happened before that involved s***m or egg donors when people had infertility problems. Years later different sets of parents kids would meet and start dating. Several people asked if they were brother and sister or twins because they looked so much alike and it turned out they were full siblings in 1 case that I can remember. These people are in a tough situation.
Marno C. 8 months ago
The reason why our cultures have inc*st taboos are (1) misuse of power dynamics between older relatives and minors (2) children being raised together not forming healthy relationships outside the family (3) passing on illnesses and genetic defects to offspring, making their life harder. In this case, OP and his wife are peers who weren't raised together, so that rules out problems 1&2. And, their children are completely healthy, so no issues with potential problem 3. Since they entered into their union innocently and since it now has the added benefit of OP helping his wife with a needed organ donation, I think they can move forward with clear consciences all around. No one acted improperly at any point -- quite the opposite, in fact.
Miss Ann Thrope 7 months ago
I've seen this story three times on Reddit. So this looks like karma farming.
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
That edit had me laughing. Well responded to obvious trolling with absolute humour. Hoping for an update further along the line.
Deborah B 8 months ago
The first thing to do is the transplant. Then you and your wife need to seek genetic counselling because proper testing will be far more reliable than 23&me, or the type of tests your doctor preformed. First to establish if there even is a biological relationship, and if there is, testing your kids for future health concerns. If there is a close biological relationship, get permenant birthcontrol. You get the facts straight, deal with the genetic fallout, if there is any, and get counselling to deal with the emotional consequences. Then you don't tell anyone, unless your children someday need the genetic information. You haven't done anything immoral, but if there is a close genetic relationship, you both, and your children will face a lot of prejudice if the information ever comes out. Whatever the outcome for you and your wife, your children do not deserve to suffer the stigma of inbreeding.
Harry Gondalf 8 months ago
An honorable, loving man. What a joy to meet one in the 'woke' age.
Nadine Debard 8 months ago
So, in the edit, she saw his account, asked her father (her husband's father, too) about his previous relationships, he told her about this woman whose parents suddenly prevent them to see each other (op says he saw the picture of this woman and he looks like her), and she disappeared, and then he met his wife. OP finally came clean, they talked, she was fine with the situation and they decided to never tell anybody and have the kids checked later.
Lyoness 8 months ago
Best possible result. It doesn't impact anyone outside their immediate family so there's no reason to tell anyone else. Genetic testing for the kids and a quiet vasectomy, problem solved.
Load More Replies... Jenna Kay 8 months ago
When I went to my great aunt's 100th birthday party, I ran into an old boyfriend. We were shocked, and come to find out we were related! We had only broken up because his family moved away, and this was long before cell phones and social media, so it would have been hard to keep the relationship going. We would have found out sooner, but his family had missed a wedding that mine had attended!!
Caffeinated Ape 8 months ago
First of all; YIKES. Second, OOP posted an update on his profile (link here: https://www.reddit.com/user/throwway_wifeismyHS/ ) talking about how he'd come clean to his wife and it sounds like she handled it well. I mean, as well as one can handle news like that. I say again; YIKES.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 months ago
Definitely important to tell the kids SOMETHING later on, or get them tested. There are a lot of genetic diseases and conditions out there that are recessive. I'm adopted myself and, while I never wanted kids and never had them, I have always been lifelong terrified/low-key concerned about what genetic issues might crop up in my life or that I may be prone to. My adopted family IS my family, but I sure would love to know my genetic familial medical history. At least OP's kids have the chance to :x
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 8 months ago
Similar situations have happened before that involved s***m or egg donors when people had infertility problems. Years later different sets of parents kids would meet and start dating. Several people asked if they were brother and sister or twins because they looked so much alike and it turned out they were full siblings in 1 case that I can remember. These people are in a tough situation.
Marno C. 8 months ago
The reason why our cultures have inc*st taboos are (1) misuse of power dynamics between older relatives and minors (2) children being raised together not forming healthy relationships outside the family (3) passing on illnesses and genetic defects to offspring, making their life harder. In this case, OP and his wife are peers who weren't raised together, so that rules out problems 1&2. And, their children are completely healthy, so no issues with potential problem 3. Since they entered into their union innocently and since it now has the added benefit of OP helping his wife with a needed organ donation, I think they can move forward with clear consciences all around. No one acted improperly at any point -- quite the opposite, in fact.
Miss Ann Thrope 7 months ago
I've seen this story three times on Reddit. So this looks like karma farming.
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
That edit had me laughing. Well responded to obvious trolling with absolute humour. Hoping for an update further along the line.
Deborah B 8 months ago
The first thing to do is the transplant. Then you and your wife need to seek genetic counselling because proper testing will be far more reliable than 23&me, or the type of tests your doctor preformed. First to establish if there even is a biological relationship, and if there is, testing your kids for future health concerns. If there is a close biological relationship, get permenant birthcontrol. You get the facts straight, deal with the genetic fallout, if there is any, and get counselling to deal with the emotional consequences. Then you don't tell anyone, unless your children someday need the genetic information. You haven't done anything immoral, but if there is a close genetic relationship, you both, and your children will face a lot of prejudice if the information ever comes out. Whatever the outcome for you and your wife, your children do not deserve to suffer the stigma of inbreeding.
Harry Gondalf 8 months ago
An honorable, loving man. What a joy to meet one in the 'woke' age.
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