Woman Is Tired Of Having To Be On The Phone With Husband For 5 Hours While He’s Commuting

When you’re in a relationship with another person, it’s preferable that you like spending time with them, because otherwise—what’s the point, right? Still, no matter how much you like to spend time together, remembering to spend some apart is important, too.

Apparently, the last message didn’t reach today’s OP’s husband. And that drives his wife mad. The man wants to be in contact with her basically 24/7, to the point where the woman simply runs out of things to talk about. Still, he doesn’t see a point in stopping. Sounds rather insufferable, doesn’t it?

More info: Reddit

While it’s always good when people in relationships like each other’s company, it’s important to remember that being at least a little bit apart is healthy, too

Man in a van talking on phone, symbolizing long daily calls.

Image credits: Artem Podrez / Pexels (not the actual photo)

A woman’s husband has to drive a long way to work, and the whole time, he loves talking to her on the phone

Text discussing feeling smothered by husband's phone calls during long drives.

Text expressing frustration over husband's phone habits.

Text discussing a woman feeling smothered by her husband's lengthy phone calls.

Text expressing a woman's frustration with long phone calls in relationships.

Text expressing frustration, likely related to feeling smothered by a partner wanting prolonged phone calls.

Woman feeling smothered, holding her head in frustration outdoors.

Image credits: engin akyurt / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

While that would be kind of wholesome, in reality, it isn’t, as his rides take 5 hours or so

Text image expressing a woman's feelings of being overwhelmed by excessive calls from her husband, highlighting relationship strain.

Text expressing a woman's frustration about her husband wanting excessive phone time.

Text about woman feeling overstimulated with attention demands.

Text discussing feeling smothered, mentioning spouse, communication, and daily stressors like work and emails.

A person reflected in a car mirror, appearing deep in thought, symbolizing feeling smothered by frequent phone calls.

Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

That means they have to talk to each other for such a long time, and when you already live together, how could you come up with more topics?

Woman feels smothered by overly attached husband struggling with boundaries.

Text expressing feeling smothered by a husband's constant attention.

Text expressing a woman's frustration over feeling smothered by her husband's phone calls.

Text about a woman feeling smothered and exhausted by her husband's dependence on her.

Image credits: LordOfAllBones

What’s even worse, every time the woman wants to do something else besides talking to her husband, he starts guilt-tripping her, saying that they have nothing to talk about

Every week, the OP’s husband of 8 years drives hundreds of miles to work. Since that kind of trip takes quite a lot of time, he needs to come up with ways to entertain himself while driving. In such situations, some people opt for audiobooks, podcasts, music, brain games, and mental things like that. 

The original poster’s husband doesn’t want any of this; instead, he would rather talk to his wife. While that would be rather wholesome, his drives are actually very long, and he wants to talk to her the whole time. 

So, imagine having to talk continuously with someone you already live with for 5 hours or more. It’s more than normal to run out of topics to cover in such cases. If you spend most of the time just talking together, you don’t have enough experience to know what to discuss. 

This is exactly what drives the OP mad – she just doesn’t have enough brain power (and ideas) to talk about for such a long time. After all, this trip is not just a one-time thing—it happens on a regular basis.

If she brings up her disdain for this activity to her husband, he starts whining about how they’re “another couple who have nothing to talk about.” This just enrages the post’s author more. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean talking almost non-stop 24/7, sometimes just being in each other’s company is more than enough.

In fact, it’s healthy to spend at least a little time apart, as it’s important to remember that you’re more than just a person in a relationship—you’re your own person, too.

Not knowing how to spend time on your own and constantly relying on your partner for entertainment just screams codependent relationship. To talk more about such relationships, Bored Panda reached out to Chenglu Ding, M.S.Ed., M.Phil.Ed., therapist at A Better Life Therapy.

Woman looking contemplative, leaning on armchair, feeling smothered by excessive phone time with her husband.

Image credits: Zohre Nemati / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

She explained that basically, codependency is when one person needs to shrink their needs to keep the peace. Or in other words: “It crosses a boundary where the balance of care and responsibility becomes one-sided and emotionally draining.”

While we don’t want to speculate about strangers’ relationships too much, the way OP described hers, it sounds like a codependent one. The husband wants to be constantly in contact with her, since she’s like the only friend he has, and he loses his cool when she doesn’t. Basically, he’s seeking something our interviewee called enmeshment. It’s when people get involved with each other to the degree that’s it’s worrisome, that they almost become one.

The problem is that usually, such dynamics become quite detrimental to the people involved. M.S.Ed., M.Phil.Ed. Chenglu Ding explained that it can lead to excessive worry and anxiety about a loved one’s issues; depression and emptiness, since personal life takes a pause; resentment and anger, when they feel unappreciated.

All of them can mesh into loss of self-identity and result in problems even outside of this relationship: “Codependency can make it difficult for individuals to form healthy, reciprocal relationships where they feel seen and valued as themselves.”

Today’s OP clearly wants to nip her husband’s habit in the bud enough to complain about it online. When she did, netizens said that the woman needs to start setting boundaries—such a situation can’t go on as it’s clearly making her lose her marbles. Everything shouldn’t revolve around what the husband wants—they need to find a compromise.

Since there’s no update, we can only hope that the post’s author took netizens’ advice and that it improved her life. After all, it’s always good to hope for the best, isn’t it?

Netizens pointed out that the woman needs to set boundaries as soon as possible, since the situation is far from healthy and will only get worse if it continues

Comment discussing boundaries in a relationship, advising a woman on assertiveness.

Text advice on handling phone communication in relationships.

Comment about a couple talking more than colleagues working from home.

Reddit comment about boundaries in response to husband’s phone call habits, suggesting therapy.

Comment expressing frustration about excessive phone communication.

Text advice on setting boundaries in a relationship, emphasizing kindness and necessity for mutual well-being.

Comment suggesting solutions to feeling smothered by husband's excessive phone calls.

Comment advising a woman feeling smothered by her husband to set boundaries and gain independence.

Text message exchange about a husband wanting constant phone contact, woman feels smothered and suffocated.

Comment about relationship boundaries and communication from a user advising to set clear limits with a partner.

Comment expressing annoyance about being on the phone for over 5 hours daily.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!