Lady Feels Drained Financially With House Refurbishing, Well-Off Hubby Won’t Help Her At All

Having separate budgets in a family has both advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, there’s virtually no risk of one spouse usurping shared finances. On the other hand, when you split all bills 50/50 or any other way, another problem can arise. This has to do with how you spend the money you have left.

For example, the heroine of our story today, the user Loopylampshade, feels that the situation she and her husband are in is pretty much unfair. After all, with separate budgets, the wife is mostly investing in their house reno, while the husband prefers to spend money on his own hobby.

More info: Mumsnet

Having separate budgets in a family sometimes looks like a smart decision, but it also happens that it could be unfair for one of the spouses

Woman in kitchen counting cash, upset about husband spending nearly 12K a year on his hobby alone

Image credits: lazy_bear / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The author of the post and her husband both have decent jobs and split the bills 50/50 – but the woman considers the situation quite unfair by any measure

Text discussing husband spending over 10K a year on his hobby while wife feels neglected and worried about joint savings.

Text describing refurbishing a house with 90% of work done by one spouse while the other dislikes the project.

Text about husband spending nearly 12K a year on hobby, wife upset dealing with home alone challenges.

Image credits: Loopylampshade

Couple arguing over money at home as husband spends thousands yearly on his hobby, leaving wife frustrated and alone.

Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The problem is that the woman spends her free time and money on their home reno, while the man prefers investing in his hobby – rock climbing

Text excerpt about husband spending on hobby affecting joint savings and safety fund, causing wife frustration

Text on a plain background asking if prioritizing personal happiness over shared sacrifice is unreasonable, related to husband’s costly hobby dispute.

Text discussing frustration over husband's hobby spending and its impact on disposable income and home life.

Image credits: Loopylampshade

Woman looking stressed while reviewing bills at home, reflecting on husband spending almost 12K a year on his hobby.

Image credits: defstock / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The author considers it’s around $13K per year and believes that at least part of this money could actually help her with refurbishing their home

Text update about husband spending nearly 12K annually on rock climbing hobby while wife feels home is neglected.

Woman frustrated dealing with home alone while husband spends almost $12K a year on his hobby.

Text message discussing husband spending nearly 12K yearly on hobby while wife deals with home alone frustration.

Wife upset over husband spending nearly 12K a year on hobby, leaving her to manage the home alone.

Image credits: Loopylampshade

However, the husband never agreed to invest money in their joint savings and even got miffed over her hints each time

So, the Original Poster (OP) says that she and her husband live in their own house, both earning a good income (although the husband earns more), but what upsets her is that the husband doesn’t seem to be paying any attention to any home improvements. Neither personally nor financially, if you know what I mean.

No, the house is in decent condition, but our heroine believes it needs refurbishing to become a cozy family nest. So that’s exactly what she’s been doing for the past few years. Sometimes she hires professionals, sometimes she does it herself. Meanwhile, the man, it seems, would be perfectly happy simply living in a white box room, devoting all his resources to his hobby.

Our heroine’s husband is very fond of rock climbing, spending approximately £10,000 a year (around $13.5K) on this hobby. They have separate budgets and split the bills 50/50, but the original poster believes it would be fairer if her husband also contributed to the renovation of their shared home.

Because, in other words, she’s investing in their joint savings, while he prefers to spend money on himself and what he enjoys. She’s brought this up with her spouse several times, but he always either evades the answer or simply gets miffed and disagrees with her. So the author decided to ask netizens for some kind of advice.

Man rock climbing shirtless outdoors, illustrating husband spending nearly 12K yearly on his hobby.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Yes, on the one hand, this doesn’t seem entirely fair, since, for example, in the case of a probable divorce, it would appear that the wife invested her own money in a house, which would be divided between the spouses as marital property, while the money the husband spent on rock climbing would definitely not be divided.

On the other hand, if we view the wife’s activities as her own hobby (yes, many people simply enjoy doing their own home renos – my wife, for example, is one of those people), then we see it from another angle: the woman is simply investing her money in her own hobby, and the husband in his. Seems fair enough now, doesn’t it?

However, the OP herself admitted that her husband would prefer a new build rather than constantly living in a renovation. Some readers also noted this, urging the author to face the truth and admit to herself that she simply enjoys doing house renos and that it’s her hobby. “I’m not surprised he’s miffed,” one of the responders wrote in the comments.

However, many commenters rightly noted that it would be fairer to split the bills not equally, but proportionally, based on the spouses’ incomes. This would put them on an equal footing in terms of the “free” money they have left after mandatory payments. By the way, what do you, our dear readers, think about this case? Please feel free to express your thoughts in the comments below.

People in the comments were very divided here, because the home reno could be considered the author’s hobby too, but they could also split the bills proportionally to their salaries

Comment discussing fairness in mortgage and upgrade costs when both spouses work full time and invest equally in the house

Comment discussing unfairness of earning potential and support, related to husband spending $12K a year on his hobby.

Wife upset as husband spends nearly $12K yearly on hobby, leaving her alone at home managing everything.

Comment discussing relationship dynamics and expenses related to husband spending nearly 12K yearly on his hobby causing wife frustration.

Commenter sharing mixed views on husband’s expensive hobby and financial responsibilities at home.

Comment discussing couples’ finance management and disagreements over discretionary spending on hobbies versus home renovations.

User comment discussing a husband spending over 10K a year on his hobby and questioning what the hobby is.

Comment discussing spouse spending on hobbies and financial fairness in managing household expenses and savings.

Comment discussing couple’s financial conflict over husband spending nearly $12K yearly on his hobby while wife handles home alone.

Wife upset as husband spends nearly $12K annually on his hobby, leaving her to manage the home alone.

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