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Husband Doesn’t Understand Why He Needs To Be There For Wife’s Surgery, Gets Destroyed Online
Young woman lying in hospital bed looking worried before surgery, illustrating refusal to take day off work for surgery

U.S. Wife Expects Swiss Spouse To Be Around As She Has A Hand Surgery, He Refuses To Take A Day Off

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Medical procedures can be scary. While some of us shake in fear even at the thought of having our blood drawn, surgery makes many people fairly anxious. Research shows that about 60-80% of surgical patients feel preoperative anxiety, and sometimes it doesn’t even matter if you’re having a minor surgery: the nerves of being in a hospital just creep up on you regardless.

This woman was having surgery on her hand and asked her husband to accompany her. She needed the support since she moved to Switzerland from the U.S. and didn’t speak perfect German, but her husband thought she didn’t need him there. Refusing to take a day off work, he basically told her to get over it and go alone.

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    A woman asked her husband to accompany her to the hospital during her hand surgery

    yaroslav-astakhov- / Magnific (not the actual photo)

    But the husband refused, not taking a day off work because it was not an emergency

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    magnific / Magnific (not the actual photo)

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    Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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    Froggypop13

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    stefamerpik / Magnific (not the actual photo)

    Hand surgery usually implies regional anesthesia, but patients should still check with their medical providers if they can get home themselves afterward

    Having surgery, even if it’s a minor one, can be scary. Being in hospitals is generally unpleasant for many people, and that’s only amplified when you’re having some sort of procedure done. Some people go even as far as to avoid any sort of surgical intervention on their bodies at all costs, and that condition is called Tomophobia. Research shows that around 12.8% of the population has a fear of undergoing surgery.

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    This woman doesn’t seem to have any sort of phobia related to hospitals — she just genuinely wanted her husband to be there for emotional support. Judging from her story and the comments below, it’s expected for a spouse, family member, or friend to accompany someone to medical procedures, even if they don’t get knocked out.

    When a person has to go under anesthesia, it’s usually required that they bring a loved one with them. After all, anesthesia can impair basic cognitive functions: patients may have poor recall and experience psychomotor dysfunction. In the U.S., for example, the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services require hospitals to discharge patients under the care of a responsible adult after anesthesia or sedation.

    That, of course, may differ depending on the type of sedation the patient receives. For hand surgery, general anesthesia is rare, and local, monitored, or regional anesthesia is more common. According to the experts at the University of Wisconsin, a nerve block is usually performed for hand, wrist, and arm surgeries.

    Some hand surgeries are performed with patients awake; for others, patients are made sleepy with medicine. After minor wrist surgery, the patient may leave the same day. Still, even after regional anesthesia, patients shouldn’t drive themselves. It’s always best to ask a health provider whether you, as a patient, can get home on your own or if someone will accompany you.

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    kuprevich / Magnific (not the actual photo)

    Theoretically, medical professionals in Switzerland are fluent in English

    Living in a foreign country can feel lonely: you’re far from home, friends, and family, and have to build entirely new support systems. Research shows that 87% of expats feel isolated during their time abroad, and the second most common reason is the language barrier.

    Switzerland usually ranks low among countries where expats feel content living. According to the 2017 Ease of Settling Index, Switzerland was 61st out of 65 countries. The top reasons are difficulty making friends, an unfriendly local population, and not feeling at ease in Swiss culture. “People in Switzerland have a culture of being reserved; they are friendly, but not actually looking for friends,” one U.S. respondent claimed.

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    While most U.S. expats living in Switzerland were content with their financial situation, many said healthcare costs (50%) are the second-biggest expense after housing (67%). The language barrier is also a big source of anxiety when making friends or just navigating administrative tasks, but even when finding friends, those fluent in the local languages say they have a difficult time making connections. “They speak Swiss German, which is so far from High German that native German speakers cannot understand them,” one respondent explained.

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    While most doctors and specialists should be able to communicate with patients in English, Expatica notes that nurses and other staff members might not be as fluent. According to the official page for the canton of Zurich, most doctor practices also have medical staff who speak more than one language.

    Some European commenters pointed out that the husband’s reaction might be a cultural thing

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    Others disagreed, questioning the husband’s devotion and adding that the hospital staff will judge him

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    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

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    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

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    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Kornelija Viečaitė

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Hi there, fellow pandas! As a person (over)educated both in social sciences and literature, I'm most interested in how we connect and behave online (and sometimes in real life too.) The human experience is weird, so I try my best to put its peculiarities in writing. As a person who grew up chronically online, I now try to marry two sides of myself: the one who knows too much about MySpace, and the one who can't settle and needs to see every corner of the world.

    Denis Krotovas

    Denis Krotovas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

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    I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

    Read less »

    Denis Krotovas

    Denis Krotovas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

    What do you think ?
    Iffydust
    Community Member
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very cultural. I am a swede also like one redditors that answered. There really isnt a waiting room for visitors. Only place a partner is expected to be there is at birth, as they are in the room. Of course the partner could drop you off and then pick up up, or wait around in the cafe or restaurant if the not long operation, til its time to go home.

    Mari
    Community Member
    10 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it's a cultural difference. Many Europeans consider doctor's appointments to be a private matter and don't bring their partner along unless it's an emergency. Just talk to your partner about what you want.

    Anony Mouse
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Weirdly she got defensive and snappy about “where does it say I don’t have a vehicle?” When it’s in the post: I don’t have a car here yet - am I supposed to take the train?

    Load More Comments
    Iffydust
    Community Member
    8 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very cultural. I am a swede also like one redditors that answered. There really isnt a waiting room for visitors. Only place a partner is expected to be there is at birth, as they are in the room. Of course the partner could drop you off and then pick up up, or wait around in the cafe or restaurant if the not long operation, til its time to go home.

    Mari
    Community Member
    10 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it's a cultural difference. Many Europeans consider doctor's appointments to be a private matter and don't bring their partner along unless it's an emergency. Just talk to your partner about what you want.

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    Anony Mouse
    Community Member
    2 hours ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Weirdly she got defensive and snappy about “where does it say I don’t have a vehicle?” When it’s in the post: I don’t have a car here yet - am I supposed to take the train?

    Load More Comments
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