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136
Woman Surprises Husband With Long-Awaited Baby News, His Reaction Leaves Her Heartbroken
For many men, finding out about a pregnancy is good news. England’s national maternity survey of 2010 showed that over 80% of fathers’ reactions to the news of their first baby included being “overjoyed” and “pleased.” However, such a reaction isn’t always a given.
This dad-to-be got mad at his wife when she broke the news during his birthday. After receiving the positive pregnancy test as a birthday gift, he blew up at his wife, calling the present “stupid” and asking why she didn’t tell him right away. At a loss, the wife turned to the internet for advice.
RELATED:
A woman found out she was pregnant and decided to surprise her husband for his birthday
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Yet, his reaction wasn’t positive and left her dumbfounded
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle (not the actual photo)
Image source: Famous-Ask-3105
News of a pregnancy can be overwhelming, but it’s best to break it as soon as possible
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle (not the actual photo)
The biggest issue for the father-to-be in this story seems to be the fact that the wife kept the baby news from him for three days. But not all fathers are usually there when the mother finds out about her pregnancy.
According to England’s national maternity survey of 2010, 62% of the fathers were present for the pregnancy test or when the pregnancy was confirmed. Experts recommend telling family members and friends after the first trimester is over. But a partner should find out earlier.
Although there’s no exact rule about when a partner should find out about a pregnancy, sooner is always better than later. “It’s important to let your partner know sooner rather than later so they can be supportive and with you throughout the process,” Christine Greves, MD, FACOG, an ob-gyn at the Orlando Health Women’s Institute, told The Bump.
It’s about the level of honesty and intimacy, too. If the couple already shares everything and anything, keeping a pregnancy a secret, even for as little as three days, might seem hurtful to the other person. In the end, it’s all about what kind of relationship the future parents have.
Experts recommend announcing a pregnancy to a partner in an intimate environment
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
When breaking the news about a planned pregnancy (despite the husband’s reaction, the wife claims in her post that they were actively trying), experts recommend picking a private place and dedicating as much time to it as needed.
Such news can be overwhelming, so moms-to-be should curb their expectations about the dad’s reaction. Allie Kidd, LISW-S, LCSW, told What To Expect that a good time and place to make the announcement is when the couple are both home after work in the evening.
“You may both be having some big feelings after you share the news — even pleasant feelings, when intense, can be overwhelming!” Kidd noted. “So be mindful of what’s on your agenda after the chat.”
However, all couples are different, so the way a mom-to-be makes the pregnancy announcement can differ from couple to couple. Some like light-hearted jokes, so they may incorporate that.
If they’re both straightforward, no-nonsense people, a simple picture of the positive test right after taking it might be the best way.
Perhaps another thing that irked the husband about finding out this way was the lack of intimacy. A birthday party isn’t the most intimate of places. Maybe he wanted to find out while only he and his wife were present at home or in the room so it would feel more personal and special.
People in the comments went off on the husband, and many even accused him of infidelity
A few commenters shared how happy their husbands were to find out about a pregnancy
However, some folks felt that a positive pregnancy test was an inappropriate birthday gift
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What do you think ?
Littlemiss 6 months ago (edited)
It was 3 days, not 3 months. It wasn't like she did it in front of a crowd either, it was just the 2 of them. His reaction is a huge red flag for me. How do you go from actively trying to not interested in the slightest? I would be very careful around this man from now on, and start an escape plan before he decides he doesn't need the baby around. We found out we were pregnant 4 days after my husband's birthday. We were overjoyed and my husband still says that was the best birthday present ever, 6 years later. Btw: we were told we couldn't conceive so it was a huge shock and a wonderful surprise at the same time!
ElfVibratorGlitter 6 months ago
I waited two days to tell my partner because I started testing so early it was like....i THINK that's a positive. I actually had a plan on how I was going to share the news with him but technology happened and he found out and came home grinning like an idiot. We're so excited!
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 6 months ago
This man is not ready to be a father. Hopefully it's still early enough to change course.
Jill Rhodry 6 months ago
Yep, sounds like someone just realised he's not going to be the baby anymore and is already kinda jealous
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Ace 6 months ago (edited)
"We've been wanting a baby for ages". No, only one of you has been wanting a baby. I can imagine that he's just been going along with the idea, but was not prepared for the reality of it actually happening.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
"We've wanted a baby for a really long time" - OP is 23 and her husband is 25. How long is "a really long time" to OP? And I know some people are ready for parenthood younger than others and I'm not judging that OP is or isn't, but... we all know now that the frontal lobe/brain/emotions don't entirely mature until AROUND age 25 or so. I think, perhaps, that it's not about that OP "waited" to tell her husband (3 days, dude? really? you're mad she waited 3 DAYS to tell you?) but that perhaps he hasn't entirely finished maturing mentally yet, and while he may have SAID he wanted children, and SAID he was ready, and agreed to start the process (going off BC, etc.) - he was hit with the enormity of "you're going to be a father in 9 months" when OP gave him the positive test. It's not a bad thing; it's like saying you're ready for an elderly pet to die but then still crying and grieving a ton when they actually do. There's only so much "mental" preparation you can do for certain things.
Betsy S 6 months ago
I married at 19. Took me until 24 to get pregnant. That's 5 yrs. Five years is a LONG time to be trying to conceive. Doesn't matter how old you are at the time. Five years is a long time.
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KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
FF, it was 3 DAYS - I probably would have done the same with this timing. Show him the receipt for the test and if he is still being an a*s, show him the door - he's not ready for this child.
Charles McChristy 6 months ago
Geeze, I sure am glad I'm not one of these YTA babies that think waiting 3 days is a long time. If he is that impatient he's a ticking timebomb.
ElfVibratorGlitter 6 months ago
I waited two days until the line was actually a line and not a.... could this be a line?
Load More Replies...
JayWantsACat 6 months ago
This really feels like a reaction of someone cheating or lying about being a father. If someone wanted to be a father and was actively trying, why wouldn't that be a joyful occasion and a great birthday present?
Emilu 6 months ago
I kinda get the literalness of not wanting a gift of p**s on a stick for your birthday. HOWEVER. It doesn’t sound like he’s ready to be a father (or married, frankly). If you have unprotected s*x, guess what could happen! It’s not rocket science. If he wasn’t ready, it’s his own d**n fault for not taking precautions and also for leading his wife on.
ElfVibratorGlitter 6 months ago (edited)
I'm 5 weeks pregnant and my partner and I are: Over the moon! Terrified! Excited! Nervous! I did have a plan on how I was going to share the news with him, but technology kinda ruined the surprise. 👶🏻 That's right, I didn't tell him immediately, I wanted to make sure I was actually pregnant.
Littlemiss 6 months ago (edited)
It was 3 days, not 3 months. It wasn't like she did it in front of a crowd either, it was just the 2 of them. His reaction is a huge red flag for me. How do you go from actively trying to not interested in the slightest? I would be very careful around this man from now on, and start an escape plan before he decides he doesn't need the baby around. We found out we were pregnant 4 days after my husband's birthday. We were overjoyed and my husband still says that was the best birthday present ever, 6 years later. Btw: we were told we couldn't conceive so it was a huge shock and a wonderful surprise at the same time!
ElfVibratorGlitter 6 months ago
I waited two days to tell my partner because I started testing so early it was like....i THINK that's a positive. I actually had a plan on how I was going to share the news with him but technology happened and he found out and came home grinning like an idiot. We're so excited!
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 6 months ago
This man is not ready to be a father. Hopefully it's still early enough to change course.
Jill Rhodry 6 months ago
Yep, sounds like someone just realised he's not going to be the baby anymore and is already kinda jealous
Load More Replies... Ace 6 months ago (edited)
"We've been wanting a baby for ages". No, only one of you has been wanting a baby. I can imagine that he's just been going along with the idea, but was not prepared for the reality of it actually happening.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
"We've wanted a baby for a really long time" - OP is 23 and her husband is 25. How long is "a really long time" to OP? And I know some people are ready for parenthood younger than others and I'm not judging that OP is or isn't, but... we all know now that the frontal lobe/brain/emotions don't entirely mature until AROUND age 25 or so. I think, perhaps, that it's not about that OP "waited" to tell her husband (3 days, dude? really? you're mad she waited 3 DAYS to tell you?) but that perhaps he hasn't entirely finished maturing mentally yet, and while he may have SAID he wanted children, and SAID he was ready, and agreed to start the process (going off BC, etc.) - he was hit with the enormity of "you're going to be a father in 9 months" when OP gave him the positive test. It's not a bad thing; it's like saying you're ready for an elderly pet to die but then still crying and grieving a ton when they actually do. There's only so much "mental" preparation you can do for certain things.
Betsy S 6 months ago
I married at 19. Took me until 24 to get pregnant. That's 5 yrs. Five years is a LONG time to be trying to conceive. Doesn't matter how old you are at the time. Five years is a long time.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
FF, it was 3 DAYS - I probably would have done the same with this timing. Show him the receipt for the test and if he is still being an a*s, show him the door - he's not ready for this child.
Charles McChristy 6 months ago
Geeze, I sure am glad I'm not one of these YTA babies that think waiting 3 days is a long time. If he is that impatient he's a ticking timebomb.
ElfVibratorGlitter 6 months ago
I waited two days until the line was actually a line and not a.... could this be a line?
Load More Replies... JayWantsACat 6 months ago
This really feels like a reaction of someone cheating or lying about being a father. If someone wanted to be a father and was actively trying, why wouldn't that be a joyful occasion and a great birthday present?
Emilu 6 months ago
I kinda get the literalness of not wanting a gift of p**s on a stick for your birthday. HOWEVER. It doesn’t sound like he’s ready to be a father (or married, frankly). If you have unprotected s*x, guess what could happen! It’s not rocket science. If he wasn’t ready, it’s his own d**n fault for not taking precautions and also for leading his wife on.
ElfVibratorGlitter 6 months ago (edited)
I'm 5 weeks pregnant and my partner and I are: Over the moon! Terrified! Excited! Nervous! I did have a plan on how I was going to share the news with him, but technology kinda ruined the surprise. 👶🏻 That's right, I didn't tell him immediately, I wanted to make sure I was actually pregnant.
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