Wife Is Lost And Confused After Her Husband Leaves Her And Their Baby 10 Days After Her C-Section To Stay With His Friends
In a way, relationships resemble team sports—in order for it to work, all players have to contribute. It is especially important when the relationship grows into a family.
The user u/LifeAndSuch155 recently opened up to Reddit’s ‘Parenting’ community about being left alone on the court. She said her husband left her and their newborn baby at home just 10 days after her c-section, and went to stay with his friend instead; all because of a fight. Scroll down for the full story in the OP’s own words.
Teamwork in parenting requires lots of patience and good communication skills, which is why it’s not always easy
Image credits: korneevamaha (not the actual photo)
This woman was left alone with a newborn just days after her c-section while her husband stayed at a friend’s house
Image credits: OlgaSmolina (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LifeAndSuch155
The OP answered some of the people’s comments and shared more information as well as her views on the situation
She updated the redditors the next day
Caring for a newborn is often challenging, especially after a c-section, which makes help from a partner even more essential
Caring for a newborn is not an easy task, which is why sharing the load with a partner can make a world of difference. Especially after a cesarean section, which requires time to recover. Even though it differs from person to person, it usually takes up to six weeks to get back on your feet after such a surgery.
According to the National Center for Health Statistics, back in 2021, roughly one third of births in the US were cesarean deliveries. The World Health Organization pointed out that the rates of c-sections have been growing globally over the years.
The OP was ten days post-operation, when the husband left her to take care of the baby on her own. Research on parenting stress revealed that fathers should actively share parenting roles in raising children, as it correlates to warm parenting behavior from the mother. Other data uncovered that over the past decades (1986 to 2015, to be exact), women have taken on more responsibilities of childcare than their male counterparts. However, the latter have become more involved with their kids than they used to be as the time went on.
Expert in developmental psychology, research scientist Jennifer E. Lansford pointed out that, “Fathers are not just helpers for mothers but are important to children in their own right,” as they contribute to their kid’s development in numerous ways. “For example, children with sensitive and supportive fathers have higher levels of social competence and better peer relationships,” Dr. Lansford wrote in Psychology Today. “Children whose fathers provide them with learning materials and speak with them frequently perform better in school and have more advanced language skills.”
Image credits: Hollie Santos (not the actual photo)
Sharing responsibilities in a relationship is important with or without children
Teamwork in a relationship is important with or without kids. Sharing such responsibilities as chores, for example, is also necessary to make it work. According to Pew Research Center, more than half of married adults (56%) with and without children agree that tackling housework together is essential for a successful marriage.
Even though some moms and dads deal with their responsibilities like true superheroes, they are only human after all. They get tired, too, and might even experience parental burnout, which is why parents need breaks as well. However, such pauses should be prediscussed rather than spontaneous, as they can lead to somewhat troublesome situations or negative emotions, as the OP’s situation illustrated.
That’s why communication is key when it comes to teamwork in a relationship. It can help create a schedule that would allow both parents to get some rest and take care of their share of the responsibilities. Baby Center pointed out that a schedule is one of the ways to divide childcare and housework duties, in addition to listing your responsibilities as well as your baby’s needs.
Image credits: Picsea (not the actual photo)
People had lots to say about the situation
The woman appreciated the support she received from the online community and provided one last update on the events
311Kviews
Share on Facebook
When he came home, it was the honeymoon phase of an abusive event - she is married to an abusive, selfish ashole. She has a cancer stricken child, was given the silent treatment for wanting to park in her garage, and he left her post surgery because it was too hard for him. SHE NEEDS TO GET OUT NOW, things will continually get worse and more dangerous, with fewer honeymoon phases.
"You'd rather him be here than to stay and do something he regrets" is code for 'you don't want him to abuse you in some way because he can't control his temper'. He needs to take a break but you don't get the same luxury and you're 10 days out of major surgery. Sorry but I would hire a nanny and when he gets angry because that costs a whole lot of money. explain that you needed to hire someone to help take care of the baby because you just got out of the hospital and are in pain from bringing his child into the world- sorry to make things so 'tough' on him. This is absolutely ridiculous. I understand leaving to go for a drive for a few hours just to clear your head. But to leave for days? I'd change the freaking locks. I'd mail him the divorce paperwork along with the alimony and child support/visitation order. This makes me irate. There seriously needs to be some kind of serious repercussions for this. I'm not sure if I'd ever look at my husband the same ever again.
I agree, he sounds like a piece of s**t honestly...incredibly selfish.
Load More Replies...
Help! what do the abbreviations STM and EBF mean. Can't find anything that fits in the text.
Okay, it took me some time to realise but she meant "second time mum" and "exclusively breast feeding"....
Load More Replies...
The 10 day mark is when the adrenaline wears off and the sleep deprivation really hits. A big fight isn’t uncommon here. If the husband had gotten a night’s sleep and come back the next day apologetic, I would say this was ok. But this guy took three days to realize he needed to help his wife and family. I don’t think she’s going to stick with I’m much longer.
Your husband appears to be an immature, narcissistic f****r. He should be ashamed of himself.
Right like tbh i wouldn't want that around my kid lest they pick up that behaviour.
Load More Replies...
That was straight up abandonment and pure mental abuse from him. If my husband tried something like that, I would have high doubts about letting him come back at all. That is not only upsetting behavior, it is alarming behavior. I'm glad things seem to be in a better place for her but good lord, she would be better on her own than dealing with that mess.
She's single, she just hasn't realized. It's not healthy for her and her kids to stay with someone like that
If this story is a true representation of her experience she needs to get out. This guy displays a high level of every wicked triad trait: manipulation (machiavellianism), excessive self-importance (narcissism), and lack of empathy (psychopathy). With every fiber of my being I think this guy has the makings of a killer and quite possibly a family annihilator. I don't say this lightly. I know this behavior seems minor compared to a lot of abuse stories, but it's much more insidious and his behavior is so callous, both to his healing wife and crying child as to be noteworthy.
Get a new therapist. Natural consequences are the best teachers leaves no agency for the people involved. I have worked in child psychology, and have many contacts who work with adults and this borders on malpractice. Get a new therapist. Natural consequences are for things like, if you forget to bring a raincoat, you get wet. It is never applied to relationships for many reasons including the risk of harm (great) and the timescale to see the effect (long). Don't teach your child it's ok to remain with a partner who treats you like your partner does. Children learn by watching actions much more than llstening to rhetoric. Don't make them grow up watching their mother consent to being treated badly.
Any man that would abdicate from fatherhood, (assuming the child was his) is not a good man and should be dumped. He will never change.
Especially when people give him a place to run from his responsibilities - they are only enabling him.
Load More Replies...
Friend of my husband's turned up one evening saying he needed a break from his wife a few days after she got home from hospital with new baby. I told him if he needed a break from her, best thing would be to take the baby so could get some sleep. My husband took him in other room, and while I don't know what was said, it was harsh. Friend left and went to mutual friends house for the night. The wife forgave him, but made him cut ties with his friends. After a bit, that included us. Can't say I blamed her. My husband was sad, but said he was sick of having friends around who were still behaving like kids. Who on earth would let a guy stay at their house 3 days in op's situation?
It's good to see that you're doing better. Your husband should be well aware by now of what he's missed, and what he will be missing if he ever pulls that mess again. He was wrong, he knew it at the time, and so did his friends. I hope that marriage counseling will straighten him out; it's far too easy to burn bridges that may never be rebuilt.
Unfortunately, he's most likely going to continue acting like this in the future. If you read the reddit comments, you will see that this isn't a isolated incident. Honestly, OP has a lot more patience than I would. I have 4 kids, and if my husband tried to pull something like this, he would be kicked out and I'd be filling for divorce.
Load More Replies...
My exdid EXACTLY this after I gave birth.. except when I asked him to leave and take a breather (while he wasn't helping anyway), he came right back and assaulted me! He, in his psychopathic mind, thought I was intentionally making our newborn hate him when she would fuss for me to feed her. It's good you are away from him!
When someone shows you who they are, believe them! I would be out!
I hope she kicked him out for good! It wouldn't be easy considering the circumstances, but since he's persona non grata anyway...the part where he orders her upstairs because " he doesn't want to look at her face" is disturbing and absolutely proof of an abusive relationship. WTH?!?
It is really worrisome when a man of that age acts that way. Maybe there is a reason why he is a first time father. There isn't of course anything wrong with waiting to have children (or not having them at all), but people might want to do a little extra vetting when dating a older person who hasn't had kids or long term relationships. It actually sounds like this woman may have been ignoring some red flags here. I am also concerned as to whether he actually believed what he was saying about the baby hating him. If he was joking, that's fine. But some people don't understand what normal childhood behavior is and then take things personally when they shouldn't. This can set the stage for child abuse as the immature parent feels they have to discipline what is actually normal, age-appropriate behavior.
I have no patience for that type of person (47 going on 14). Do not leave! Change locks, pack up his stuff & put it in the garage for him to get. Stand your ground or you'll have a very bumpy road ahead, as will your son. He has shown you who he is & at 47, damn, unbelievable.
This story would make my blood boil at the best of times. However, as father of a 6-week-old baby girl, I cannot describe how livid this makes me. I know it shouldn't matter whether I'm a father or not, but the relatability has increased my anger so much. I cannot image leaving my wife to take care of the baby. And I cannot imagine walking out on my beautiful daughter like that. I can't believe he didn't regret his actions INSTANTLY. This guy has s**t on the privilege of being a father, and has pissed on his responsibilities as a husband. It's admirable that she still wants to work on the marriage, and although I have limited knowledge on their relationship, I'm not sure it's going to work. I'm glad she is sorting out an exit strategy, but it's a real shame that she needs one.
OP sounds like she's doing everything right. She's testing the waters with him but making executable plans to get the Heil out when twatwaffle goes Rouge again. Which I'm betting he will.
"I am a STM. I am EBF." Who starts out posts this way? This just HMVC. (had me very confused)
Agreed! But she's a nurse. My son and daughter, both nurses, are constantly telling me work stories with tons of acronyms. I just nod and smile.
Load More Replies...
I have not been more infuriated by a post on this site ever before, I wanna curb stomp this guy.
As far as I know, a young baby can be so exhausting that the parents have temporary negative personality changes because it won't let them sleep. Not that there weren't problems in this relationship anyway, but I think it made the emotions cook up even more.
I don't see where the OP needed any advice here. She certainly seems to be a thoughtful, cautious person who takes the time to think things through, and her solution (given the updates) was measured and reasonable.
I've been married to a narcissist for 37 years. Your husband is a narcissist. The way he speaks to you is telling. The bad behavior won't stop. He'll do something cruel again. And again. And again. Once more is all you should tolerate. But that is more than you deserve to bear, trust me. For the sake of your children, don't let him get away with it. Make him toe the line. OR ELSE. Then move on.
This sounds like he's a narc. And is now love bombing. You've seen the behavior and he has a track record. Need to have that exit strategy sooner then later. It's eventually going to come to ahead and either you and your children are going to end up 6 ft under or in the hospital when the physical abuse starts. Don't kid yourself, this will end up happening. Get a plan together and get out.
I've read all the comments and the posters comments. Mom has taken care of herself and now has support. Dad knows he screwed up. Friend is no longer a friend. What I like is that Mom is planning for either Dad to grow up & help like a supportive father or for her to file for divorce & leave.. Mom is being extremely thoughtful about this and I find that impressive!!
This reminds me of a situation with a cousin of mine. It's not equivalent, and I'm not sure I feel the same way about both but there are definite similarities and I'd like to share. My cousin and his girlfriend (let's say, Nate and Abbey) were very young when she got pregnant. I think she was 19 maybe? He was about the same age. They had decided to make a go of it, but shortly after the baby was born Abbey freaked out. She left Nate with the baby and ran off for about a month. I think she was living with her mom. She said she was too young, too scared, she didn't know if this was the life she wanted. I can't imagine it was easy for Nate, raising a baby alone and not knowing if Abbey would come back, maybe not knowing if he'd take her back if she did. She did go back though, he did take her back, their son is 13 with a younger sister, everybody is happy, and nobody would know to look at them that it almost didn't happen that way. (1/2)
The thing is, most of my family has never completely forgiven Abbey. I know what she did was terrible but... she went back. She was really, really young, maybe dealing with post-partum depression, certainly overwhelmed and low on sleep... and I think it took a lot of courage to go back. Not everybody in that situation would. I think sometimes you have to look past the mistakes people have made when they manage to turn it around and do the right thing in the end. The woman in this post is right to be taking precautions, especially with the terrible things her husband said to her. But also, a lot of men don't go back. It might yet end up all right for them.
Load More Replies...
Unpopular opinion - don't issue an ultimatum or dare if them taking you up on it is unacceptable ( this goes for BOTH of you), at the end of the day he is a first time parent, and you are expecting him to have it all together even though he doesn't have the same experiences. Instead of acting like he was stupid because he wasn't parenting the same as you, maybe offer suggestions on bonding or dealing with crying. Is he right to take off for three days, no. But everyone sucks here, and if you don't have the capacity to communicate through disagreements without being s****y to each other then maybe you should get a divorce.
People are underestimating how a new baby can be a struggle in your marriage once the initial glow wears off. Obviously he is in the wrong and really messed up. BUT. she totally overreacted to the video thing. A baby will not be harmed by another second crying. He is feeling insecure as a new dad and that's what the video was about, although in general i think sharing videos of your kids is stupid. Op is not a first time parent. Both are super tired and super hyped up on hormones that both get with a new baby and no one is thinking rationally. His reaction when he came home says it all and he's going to regret it for the rest of his life. The counseling is a wonderful idea it will help you learn to cope with this together. Ppl calling him an abuser are really stupid and have tunnel vision
ESH (probably) except the baby. OP does not specify how long husband let the baby cry while shooting his video. Just goes on about it for a paragraph. If husband did in fact share it, it was probably only 10-15 seconds. The baby is not going to die from crying for that long. And unlike OP who seems to only want video memories of the baby doing cute things, it sounds like husband wants video memories the baby doing all things baby. Including crying. So OP is an AH (probably) for blowing up at her husband over this relatively short minor infraction when she admits he was otherwise doing a stellar job. (If this was like 5 minutes of him trying to shoot the perfect video, then she is in the clear.). Husband is an AH for abandoning her and baby over it. And both of them are AHs for being children and not having a mature discussion to resolve it before it got to the "get out!" stage.
The acronyms are absurd. Learn how to spell. So we know how old Dad is, how old is Mom? Seems like they are used to speaking to each other that way, and Mom just needs to show how right she is to the world. So, now the whole world can judge your quarrel and what...? Grow up.
Or idk maybe read the top comment on here? You can go to the actual Reddit post, there may be info on her age there. “…speaking to each other that way…” you mean how he told her to go upstairs so he didn’t have to see her face? That would be unfortunate. “…mom just needs to show how right she is to the world.” What? And your last statement… yes and no. She posted on the internet so people are free to judge, but she posted as a question and is looking for advice. Yes, I agree, the father does need to grow up.
Load More Replies... He left his baby and wife for 4 days because he’s a baby. Why are you excusing his behavior? You sound like the other wife.
Load More Replies... 
There have been plenty of BP posts showing men doing the right thing. What are you talking about?
Load More Replies... But it sounds like she did need support and perspective. Sounds like she got it!
Load More Replies...
When he came home, it was the honeymoon phase of an abusive event - she is married to an abusive, selfish ashole. She has a cancer stricken child, was given the silent treatment for wanting to park in her garage, and he left her post surgery because it was too hard for him. SHE NEEDS TO GET OUT NOW, things will continually get worse and more dangerous, with fewer honeymoon phases.
"You'd rather him be here than to stay and do something he regrets" is code for 'you don't want him to abuse you in some way because he can't control his temper'. He needs to take a break but you don't get the same luxury and you're 10 days out of major surgery. Sorry but I would hire a nanny and when he gets angry because that costs a whole lot of money. explain that you needed to hire someone to help take care of the baby because you just got out of the hospital and are in pain from bringing his child into the world- sorry to make things so 'tough' on him. This is absolutely ridiculous. I understand leaving to go for a drive for a few hours just to clear your head. But to leave for days? I'd change the freaking locks. I'd mail him the divorce paperwork along with the alimony and child support/visitation order. This makes me irate. There seriously needs to be some kind of serious repercussions for this. I'm not sure if I'd ever look at my husband the same ever again.
I agree, he sounds like a piece of s**t honestly...incredibly selfish.
Load More Replies... Help! what do the abbreviations STM and EBF mean. Can't find anything that fits in the text.
Okay, it took me some time to realise but she meant "second time mum" and "exclusively breast feeding"....
Load More Replies... The 10 day mark is when the adrenaline wears off and the sleep deprivation really hits. A big fight isn’t uncommon here. If the husband had gotten a night’s sleep and come back the next day apologetic, I would say this was ok. But this guy took three days to realize he needed to help his wife and family. I don’t think she’s going to stick with I’m much longer.
Your husband appears to be an immature, narcissistic f****r. He should be ashamed of himself.
Right like tbh i wouldn't want that around my kid lest they pick up that behaviour.
Load More Replies... That was straight up abandonment and pure mental abuse from him. If my husband tried something like that, I would have high doubts about letting him come back at all. That is not only upsetting behavior, it is alarming behavior. I'm glad things seem to be in a better place for her but good lord, she would be better on her own than dealing with that mess.
She's single, she just hasn't realized. It's not healthy for her and her kids to stay with someone like that
If this story is a true representation of her experience she needs to get out. This guy displays a high level of every wicked triad trait: manipulation (machiavellianism), excessive self-importance (narcissism), and lack of empathy (psychopathy). With every fiber of my being I think this guy has the makings of a killer and quite possibly a family annihilator. I don't say this lightly. I know this behavior seems minor compared to a lot of abuse stories, but it's much more insidious and his behavior is so callous, both to his healing wife and crying child as to be noteworthy.
Get a new therapist. Natural consequences are the best teachers leaves no agency for the people involved. I have worked in child psychology, and have many contacts who work with adults and this borders on malpractice. Get a new therapist. Natural consequences are for things like, if you forget to bring a raincoat, you get wet. It is never applied to relationships for many reasons including the risk of harm (great) and the timescale to see the effect (long). Don't teach your child it's ok to remain with a partner who treats you like your partner does. Children learn by watching actions much more than llstening to rhetoric. Don't make them grow up watching their mother consent to being treated badly.
Any man that would abdicate from fatherhood, (assuming the child was his) is not a good man and should be dumped. He will never change.
Especially when people give him a place to run from his responsibilities - they are only enabling him.
Load More Replies... Friend of my husband's turned up one evening saying he needed a break from his wife a few days after she got home from hospital with new baby. I told him if he needed a break from her, best thing would be to take the baby so could get some sleep. My husband took him in other room, and while I don't know what was said, it was harsh. Friend left and went to mutual friends house for the night. The wife forgave him, but made him cut ties with his friends. After a bit, that included us. Can't say I blamed her. My husband was sad, but said he was sick of having friends around who were still behaving like kids. Who on earth would let a guy stay at their house 3 days in op's situation?
It's good to see that you're doing better. Your husband should be well aware by now of what he's missed, and what he will be missing if he ever pulls that mess again. He was wrong, he knew it at the time, and so did his friends. I hope that marriage counseling will straighten him out; it's far too easy to burn bridges that may never be rebuilt.
Unfortunately, he's most likely going to continue acting like this in the future. If you read the reddit comments, you will see that this isn't a isolated incident. Honestly, OP has a lot more patience than I would. I have 4 kids, and if my husband tried to pull something like this, he would be kicked out and I'd be filling for divorce.
Load More Replies... My exdid EXACTLY this after I gave birth.. except when I asked him to leave and take a breather (while he wasn't helping anyway), he came right back and assaulted me! He, in his psychopathic mind, thought I was intentionally making our newborn hate him when she would fuss for me to feed her. It's good you are away from him!
When someone shows you who they are, believe them! I would be out!
I hope she kicked him out for good! It wouldn't be easy considering the circumstances, but since he's persona non grata anyway...the part where he orders her upstairs because " he doesn't want to look at her face" is disturbing and absolutely proof of an abusive relationship. WTH?!?
It is really worrisome when a man of that age acts that way. Maybe there is a reason why he is a first time father. There isn't of course anything wrong with waiting to have children (or not having them at all), but people might want to do a little extra vetting when dating a older person who hasn't had kids or long term relationships. It actually sounds like this woman may have been ignoring some red flags here. I am also concerned as to whether he actually believed what he was saying about the baby hating him. If he was joking, that's fine. But some people don't understand what normal childhood behavior is and then take things personally when they shouldn't. This can set the stage for child abuse as the immature parent feels they have to discipline what is actually normal, age-appropriate behavior.
I have no patience for that type of person (47 going on 14). Do not leave! Change locks, pack up his stuff & put it in the garage for him to get. Stand your ground or you'll have a very bumpy road ahead, as will your son. He has shown you who he is & at 47, damn, unbelievable.
This story would make my blood boil at the best of times. However, as father of a 6-week-old baby girl, I cannot describe how livid this makes me. I know it shouldn't matter whether I'm a father or not, but the relatability has increased my anger so much. I cannot image leaving my wife to take care of the baby. And I cannot imagine walking out on my beautiful daughter like that. I can't believe he didn't regret his actions INSTANTLY. This guy has s**t on the privilege of being a father, and has pissed on his responsibilities as a husband. It's admirable that she still wants to work on the marriage, and although I have limited knowledge on their relationship, I'm not sure it's going to work. I'm glad she is sorting out an exit strategy, but it's a real shame that she needs one.
OP sounds like she's doing everything right. She's testing the waters with him but making executable plans to get the Heil out when twatwaffle goes Rouge again. Which I'm betting he will.
"I am a STM. I am EBF." Who starts out posts this way? This just HMVC. (had me very confused)
Agreed! But she's a nurse. My son and daughter, both nurses, are constantly telling me work stories with tons of acronyms. I just nod and smile.
Load More Replies... I have not been more infuriated by a post on this site ever before, I wanna curb stomp this guy.
As far as I know, a young baby can be so exhausting that the parents have temporary negative personality changes because it won't let them sleep. Not that there weren't problems in this relationship anyway, but I think it made the emotions cook up even more.
I don't see where the OP needed any advice here. She certainly seems to be a thoughtful, cautious person who takes the time to think things through, and her solution (given the updates) was measured and reasonable.
I've been married to a narcissist for 37 years. Your husband is a narcissist. The way he speaks to you is telling. The bad behavior won't stop. He'll do something cruel again. And again. And again. Once more is all you should tolerate. But that is more than you deserve to bear, trust me. For the sake of your children, don't let him get away with it. Make him toe the line. OR ELSE. Then move on.
This sounds like he's a narc. And is now love bombing. You've seen the behavior and he has a track record. Need to have that exit strategy sooner then later. It's eventually going to come to ahead and either you and your children are going to end up 6 ft under or in the hospital when the physical abuse starts. Don't kid yourself, this will end up happening. Get a plan together and get out.
I've read all the comments and the posters comments. Mom has taken care of herself and now has support. Dad knows he screwed up. Friend is no longer a friend. What I like is that Mom is planning for either Dad to grow up & help like a supportive father or for her to file for divorce & leave.. Mom is being extremely thoughtful about this and I find that impressive!!
This reminds me of a situation with a cousin of mine. It's not equivalent, and I'm not sure I feel the same way about both but there are definite similarities and I'd like to share. My cousin and his girlfriend (let's say, Nate and Abbey) were very young when she got pregnant. I think she was 19 maybe? He was about the same age. They had decided to make a go of it, but shortly after the baby was born Abbey freaked out. She left Nate with the baby and ran off for about a month. I think she was living with her mom. She said she was too young, too scared, she didn't know if this was the life she wanted. I can't imagine it was easy for Nate, raising a baby alone and not knowing if Abbey would come back, maybe not knowing if he'd take her back if she did. She did go back though, he did take her back, their son is 13 with a younger sister, everybody is happy, and nobody would know to look at them that it almost didn't happen that way. (1/2)
The thing is, most of my family has never completely forgiven Abbey. I know what she did was terrible but... she went back. She was really, really young, maybe dealing with post-partum depression, certainly overwhelmed and low on sleep... and I think it took a lot of courage to go back. Not everybody in that situation would. I think sometimes you have to look past the mistakes people have made when they manage to turn it around and do the right thing in the end. The woman in this post is right to be taking precautions, especially with the terrible things her husband said to her. But also, a lot of men don't go back. It might yet end up all right for them.
Load More Replies... Unpopular opinion - don't issue an ultimatum or dare if them taking you up on it is unacceptable ( this goes for BOTH of you), at the end of the day he is a first time parent, and you are expecting him to have it all together even though he doesn't have the same experiences. Instead of acting like he was stupid because he wasn't parenting the same as you, maybe offer suggestions on bonding or dealing with crying. Is he right to take off for three days, no. But everyone sucks here, and if you don't have the capacity to communicate through disagreements without being s****y to each other then maybe you should get a divorce.
People are underestimating how a new baby can be a struggle in your marriage once the initial glow wears off. Obviously he is in the wrong and really messed up. BUT. she totally overreacted to the video thing. A baby will not be harmed by another second crying. He is feeling insecure as a new dad and that's what the video was about, although in general i think sharing videos of your kids is stupid. Op is not a first time parent. Both are super tired and super hyped up on hormones that both get with a new baby and no one is thinking rationally. His reaction when he came home says it all and he's going to regret it for the rest of his life. The counseling is a wonderful idea it will help you learn to cope with this together. Ppl calling him an abuser are really stupid and have tunnel vision
ESH (probably) except the baby. OP does not specify how long husband let the baby cry while shooting his video. Just goes on about it for a paragraph. If husband did in fact share it, it was probably only 10-15 seconds. The baby is not going to die from crying for that long. And unlike OP who seems to only want video memories of the baby doing cute things, it sounds like husband wants video memories the baby doing all things baby. Including crying. So OP is an AH (probably) for blowing up at her husband over this relatively short minor infraction when she admits he was otherwise doing a stellar job. (If this was like 5 minutes of him trying to shoot the perfect video, then she is in the clear.). Husband is an AH for abandoning her and baby over it. And both of them are AHs for being children and not having a mature discussion to resolve it before it got to the "get out!" stage.
The acronyms are absurd. Learn how to spell. So we know how old Dad is, how old is Mom? Seems like they are used to speaking to each other that way, and Mom just needs to show how right she is to the world. So, now the whole world can judge your quarrel and what...? Grow up.
Or idk maybe read the top comment on here? You can go to the actual Reddit post, there may be info on her age there. “…speaking to each other that way…” you mean how he told her to go upstairs so he didn’t have to see her face? That would be unfortunate. “…mom just needs to show how right she is to the world.” What? And your last statement… yes and no. She posted on the internet so people are free to judge, but she posted as a question and is looking for advice. Yes, I agree, the father does need to grow up.
Load More Replies... He left his baby and wife for 4 days because he’s a baby. Why are you excusing his behavior? You sound like the other wife.
Load More Replies... There have been plenty of BP posts showing men doing the right thing. What are you talking about?
Load More Replies... But it sounds like she did need support and perspective. Sounds like she got it!
Load More Replies...
96
79