Man Wants A Divorce But Still Wants To Be Besties, Wife Thinks It’s Weird, Finds His Secret Messages

They say breaking up is hard to do, but you know what’s harder? Living with your ex while pretending everything’s just peachy. Some couples try to pull it off, convinced they can cohabitate like civilized adults, but let’s be real – who actually wants to share a fridge with the person who broke their heart?

That’s exactly what one woman went through when her cheating husband asked for a split but wanted everything else to stay the same – same living situation, shared finances, and family events with their daughter. Okay, now that’s just weird.

More info: Mumsnet

They say home is where the heart is, but when your ex still lives there, it’s more like it’s where the emotional damage is

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One woman finds out her husband cheated after he asks for a divorce, but he requests everything else stays the same, and they continue living together

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The woman’s husband suddenly asks for a split, requesting they still live together as a family and share all expenses, but without being intimate

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The woman doesn’t understand why her husband wants to call it quits, goes through his phone, and finds out he’s having an affair

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The man denies everything until the woman shows him the messages he thought he had deleted

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The woman is crushed by her husband’s infidelity but refuses to blame herself for it

The OP (original poster) thought she had a good thing going – your standard, sometimes bicker but still in love kind of marriage. But out of nowhere, her husband decided he wanted out. Well, kind of. He wanted a divorce while still living together, sharing finances, and co-parenting like nothing had changed. You know, like a bestie with benefits, except without the benefits; apparently, those came from somewhere else.

To say our OP was confused would be the understatement of the century. She adored her husband, loved their life, and had absolutely zero warning signs that things were heading south. That is, until she did some digging and found out what every person with common sense already suspected – he cheated. On a recent trip with his friends from university, no less.

And what did he do when confronted? Oh, just the usual – lie, gaslight, and deny. But the OP had receipts in his not-so-deleted messages. And when faced with cold, hard evidence, he had no choice but to own up to his vacation escapades. Turns out, his whole “let’s just be roommates” pitch wasn’t about co-parenting or financial stability – it was about keeping the best of both worlds while avoiding any real consequences.

But can you really live with an ex? Short answer: maybe, but at what cost? Some exes manage to keep it civil, treating each other like distant coworkers who split the rent. But in reality? The emotional baggage alone could fill a moving truck. The pros suggest that, if you do attempt it, lay down some ground rules – separate spaces, financial boundaries, and absolutely no bringing dates home.

It all sounds good, in theory. But when one of the partners has cheated, that’s a whole new story. Because cheating doesn’t just break hearts; it rewrites the entire relationship in real time. The betrayed partner is left questioning everything – was it ever real? Were they ever enough? It’s like a bad hangover that won’t go away.

Woman on a sofa using a laptop, focused on discovering relationship truths and decisions about divorce.

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The pros say cheating shatters self-esteem, destroys trust, and can even have long-term psychological effects, like anxiety, depression, and a loss of self-worth after being cheated on. The betrayal makes it difficult to trust future partners, leading to emotional walls and self-sabotaging behaviors in new relationships.

And let’s not forget the physical toll – stress-related headaches, appetite changes, and sleep disturbances are all common after infidelity. The best way to heal? Therapy, self-care, and surrounding yourself with people who actually respect you. And, it would probably be a good idea to call it quits.

Because there’s “going through a rough patch,” and then there’s “we’re basically two strangers avoiding eye contact in the same house.” If your marriage feels more like a business arrangement than a partnership, or if the trust is beyond repair, it might be time to pack up and move on.

Signs the marriage is over? Constant resentment, emotional detachment, or the overwhelming urge to fake your own disappearance every time your spouse enters the room. Life’s too short to live in relationship limbo – sometimes, the healthiest choice is the hardest one.

Thankfully, OP isn’t sticking around for more emotional torture. She’s got a solid job, a great support system, and most importantly, she’s not wasting another tear on a man who fumbled the bag this hard.

What do you think? Could you ever live with an ex, or is that just a recipe for disaster? Drop your thoughts below!

Netizens advise the woman to leave, with some suggesting her husband might actually want an open marriage

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