Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
“Why Do You Need The Husband?” Mom Of Two Tells Husband She Can’t Do It All, He Doesn’t Get It
If you’re a parent, have you ever thought about how much free time you have compared to your spouse? According to research, wives generally have less leisure time. In families with kids under five, for example, husbands spend an average of 24.6 hours on leisure activities, while their wives spend only 20.1 hours.
Between work, childcare, and basic necessities like sleep, this wife has had no time to pursue her desired college degree. Yet her husband was optimistic, telling her that loads of people work full-time and go to school full-time. She took his comments as insensitive, because do people really do so while also being the primary parents?
RELATED:
A mother of two was asked by her husband to juggle parenting, work, and going to college full-time
Image credits: zinkevych/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Thinking the request was unreasonable, she asked people online to chime in
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Technical-Tip1114
Student parents have better academic results and are more driven than their peers
Image credits: yanalya/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Being a college student and a working parent isn’t mutually exclusive. In fact, according to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, 26% of all undergraduate students in the U.S. are parents. Interestingly, 70% of those are also women. But just because a lot of people are trying to have it all, doesn’t mean it’s good for them, their families, their education, or their careers.
As if juggling parenting and studying isn’t enough, 44% of student parents also work full-time. Ironically, even if working parents are burdened with way more responsibilities than their student peers who don’t have children, they tend to be more diligent and achieve better academic results.
One study shows that one-third of working parents have a GPA of 3.5 or higher. In turn, 31% of their independent non-parent peers have similar GPAs, and the same goes for 26% of dependent non-parent students.
Experts attribute this to the fact that student parents are motivated by providing their children with as much financial security as they can. So, they spend more time studying, even though they have much less free time than their peers.
Program officer at the ECMC Foundation, Amber Angel, explains that students who are parents and work full-time are incredibly motivated and hard-working. “Student parents are some of the most driven learners you’ll find, but the lack of institutional support makes it incredibly difficult for them to thrive, and they often feel like they exist in the margins of campus life.”
Some colleges even have no idea how many student parents they have, and this lack of data signals a lack of commitment to help parents on an institutional level. “That sense of invisibility only compounds the struggles these students already face and reinforces the perception that they don’t belong,” Angel points out.
However, they experience a poverty of both time and money
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
Together with feelings of isolation, student parents face other hardships as well. The co-director of the docuseries Raising Up: A Student Parent Film Series and former college admissions officer, Jaye Fenderson, says that there are three other common problems student parents face:
- They have to balance coursework with childcare responsibilities;
- They worry about financial commitments;
- And have significant time constraints because of parenting and job duties.
A survey conducted by the research firm Trellis in 2023 shows that 66% of parenting students work 40 or more hours a week. And that’s on top of their college and parenting duties! In turn, only 24% of their nonparent peers report working similar hours.
Another 2021 study found that parents with children under the age of six “had significantly higher time poverty than other groups.” However, they also spent the most time doing coursework; of course, at the expense of their free time.
When we put all that data together, it’s not hard to see why dropout rates are high among working parents: a whopping 52% actually don’t ever graduate. One study even looked into how many hours they have for studying compared to their nonparent peers. Apparently, students without children have 21 free hours in a day. Parents, on the other hand, only have 10, during which they’re expected to sleep, eat, and study.
Sounds superhuman? Perhaps because it is. And that’s why even if “most people work and study full-time,” that doesn’t mean they’re not burnt out, very likely to drop out, or sacrifice precious time with their kids.
“Why live with him if you are doing it all?” some commenters pondered, calling out the husband’s laziness
Others shared their stories of husbands not pulling their weight
“I’m just going to go back to work until he gets out, then I will pursue a degree,” the woman posted in an update
Image credits: Frolopiaton Palm/Freepik (not the actual photo)
Poll Question
Total votes ·
Thanks! Check out the results:
Total votes ·
Newsletter
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Bookworm 2 months ago
The update tells me she's either in denial or using magical thinking. He's not going to change his ways because he gets out of the military. Not when they were struggling financially and he couldn't be bothered to turn in the d@mn paperwork to get financial aid for their childcare. Or take care of the kids in the morning, including drop offs, to help her handle the childcare after she started working. She's in for a rude awakening.
Zoe Vokes 2 months ago
She completely ignored all the advice telling her that her husband isn’t helping enough or it’s unfair of him to put so much pressure on her. I like the idea of writing out their daily schedule. Hers would be a full day with barely any time for herself. His would probably be come home from work, do a couple of things at home and relax.
Load More Replies...
Vinnie 3 months ago
There used to be an expression from the feminist movement that said "You can have it all" which later included the warning "...just not at the same time."
Vinnie 3 months ago
From my personal experience, I can say some idiots do improve with careful tutoring - as both my husband and I have our idiotic moments. Thank goodness the husband isn't stubbornly stupid.
Load More Replies... Bookworm 2 months ago
The update tells me she's either in denial or using magical thinking. He's not going to change his ways because he gets out of the military. Not when they were struggling financially and he couldn't be bothered to turn in the d@mn paperwork to get financial aid for their childcare. Or take care of the kids in the morning, including drop offs, to help her handle the childcare after she started working. She's in for a rude awakening.
Zoe Vokes 2 months ago
She completely ignored all the advice telling her that her husband isn’t helping enough or it’s unfair of him to put so much pressure on her. I like the idea of writing out their daily schedule. Hers would be a full day with barely any time for herself. His would probably be come home from work, do a couple of things at home and relax.
Load More Replies... Vinnie 3 months ago
There used to be an expression from the feminist movement that said "You can have it all" which later included the warning "...just not at the same time."
Vinnie 3 months ago
From my personal experience, I can say some idiots do improve with careful tutoring - as both my husband and I have our idiotic moments. Thank goodness the husband isn't stubbornly stupid.
Load More Replies... You May Like Woman Sees Husband's Coworker Flirting With Him, Deals With It In The Most Petty But Brilliant Way "Don't Expect To Be Employed By The End Of The Day”: People Give Vengeful Employee A Reality Check Coworker “Forgets” To Bring Woman’s Jacket For Weeks, Learns She Picked The Wrong Person To Mess With
Gabija Palšytė
Viktorija Ošikaitė
Dominyka Proškėnaitė
Related on Bored Panda
38
25