Mom Is Not Willing To Step Back When Her Husband Asks For More Time To Pay $6,000 For A New Piano For His Stepdaughter After He Smashed It Out Of Anger
Having a passion and a hobby that is separate from your school or work is useful to have as it helps you to relax and, for a while, let your mind focus on something that doesn’t cause you stress and gives you pleasure instead. It is especially important for kids and teenagers to put their active minds at ease.
Not every parent understands the importance of having an activity that gives a kid joy and actually often takes away that joy as a form of punishment as they see it more like a distraction from what they consider more important things.
One such parent was concerned about his stepdaughter’s future because she spent so much time playing the piano, even though her grades were good. He also was annoyed with the loud playing, so he took away the piano by completely destroying it.
More info: Reddit
13 Y.O. with a passion for music gets her piano shattered by her stepdad, so people suggest that the girl’s mother should divorce him
Image credit: bradjavernick (not the actual image)
The Original Poster (OP) who chose the nickname SUDDEN-IMPACT-3097 on Reddit is a mother of a 13-year-old girl, called Callie in the story. Her previous husband and Callie’s biological dad died 6 years ago and she has been together with her new husband for the past 2.5 years.
Callie loves instrumental music and she is quite good at playing the piano. The mom says that she really sees her talent, but the piano has a deeper meaning as well. The girl feels that this is a way for her to connect with her late father.
The mom has been with her new husband for 2.5 years and before starting living together he never had a problem with her daughter’s hobbies
Image credits: u/SUDDEN-IMPACT-3097
The OP encouraged Callie to continue playing it and it was such a big part of her life that the girl’s grandparents decided she needed to have her own piano. The girl appreciated the gift and used it plenty.
Everyone in the family is happy for Callie and admires her talent except for her stepdad. He thinks the piano is distracting and the teenager should focus more on school and building a foundation for her future, although, he never had an issue with Callie playing the piano before he and the OP started living together.
It seems that the piano is more of an annoyance than a concern for the stepdad as he doesn’t really care for Callie’s passion, or at least his actions show that because he never attends her plays nor listens to her playing at home. The husband actually is quite annoyed when he hears Callie playing and doesn’t miss an opportunity to lecture her and her mom about how it is a waste of time.
The daughter, Callie, really liked playing the piano and she was good at it, so her grandparents gifted her one
Image credits: u/SUDDEN-IMPACT-3097
It was such a regular occurrence that the OP had to sit down with her husband and talk about his attitude. The man got angry and thought that he was the only parent being reasonable and trying to control Callie when she was getting distracted from school.
But it seems that this was just some kind of excuse, because according to the mom, Callie’s grades were good and the mom managed to convince her husband to drop it and allow the girl to enjoy her hobby without feeling guilty for not studying.
Callie was excited not only because she enjoyed playing, but because it helped her connect to her late father
Image credits: u/SUDDEN-IMPACT-3097
However, after some time, the piano once again became the center of a fight. Turns out, Callie was playing loudly and the music woke up her stepdad on his day off, which made him quite furious.
He resorted to an ultimatum and gave two choices: to put the piano somewhere else or wait for him to get rid of it. He suggested moving the piano to the grandparent’s house, but Callie didn’t want to so, he considered this answer as choosing the second part of the ultimatum.
Her stepdad didn’t like how much time the teenager was spending playing the piano and after she woke him up with it for the last time, he wanted it out of the house
Image credit: Paul Cross (not the actual image)
When Callie and her mom left the house, the stepdad already knew what to do. It isn’t clear how he did it, but the man managed to take the piano to a junkyard where his dad worked and shredded it to pieces.
The piano cost $6,000, so it wasn’t a high-end one, but it wasn’t cheap either and also, it was a gift to his stepdaughter that she cherished and used.
Cassie didn’t want it taken to her grandparents, so the only thing the stepfather thought to do was to destroy the piano
Image credits: u/SUDDEN-IMPACT-3097
When the OP found out what her husband did, she couldn’t control herself and had a screaming match in front of his family, demanding that he pay for a new one and giving him 2 days to do it. The husband’s reaction was to apologize and his excuse was that he was caught by desperation and frustration and acted without thinking.
Many people in the comments were not convinced the husband was telling the truth because it must have taken some time to execute his plan, to carry the piano to a car or a van, to bring it to the junkyard, and to explain to his dad what he was planning to do. There was plenty of time to calm down and reconsider it.
He took it to the junkyard where his dad worked and smashed it
Image credits: u/SUDDEN-IMPACT-3097
The husband had the money to pay for the piano, but he didn’t want to spend it that way. He was saving for a new garage as he was planning on opening his own business. He accused his wife of wanting to ruin his business when he didn’t even start it and was asking for at least 4 months to be able to pay for the piano.
The OP isn’t negotiating, but the husband thought that a business has more priority over a piano. What he didn’t realize was that it wasn’t just a piano, but the feelings attached to it and the way he went about it.
When the mom found out about it, she demanded her husband pay for a new one and gave him 2 days to do so
Image credits: u/SUDDEN-IMPACT-3097
A lot of people in the comments suggested the woman divorce this man, because they believed he would cause more trouble in the future as his behavior indicated disrespect and disregard.
The OP also went into the comments and revealed that the husband has had issues with other activities Callie liked, but gradually, they became a problem in his eyes, further confirming other redditors’ opinion that the piano is just the first step that could lead to something more serious.
The man had the money because he was saving for the start of a new business and didn’t want to spend it on a piano, so he asked for more time
Image credits: u/SUDDEN-IMPACT-3097
Image credit: Kryziz Bonny (not the actual image)
As for the verdict whether the mom was the jerk for requiring her husband to pay for the piano immediately — people encouraged the OP to stand her ground and she was in the right here. But they considered her to be a jerk for subjecting her daughter to an abusive environment and if she wants to protect her, she should leave that man.
We would like to hear your opinion on this. Should the mom be a bit more lenient and allow her husband more time to pay for the damage he did? Do you agree with the redditors who say the woman should end this relationship? Let us know your thoughts!
The OP was merciless, demanding compensation for the new piano now and redditors encouraged her to not give up, but leave the relationship after he pays
These two red flags really stood out for me(from the forest of them). One when he claimed he was doing the mother's job for her by with her daughter. The other is the line about him saying he acted in a "moment of desperation and frustration". What else would he do in those moments?! She needs to get out of there for her daughter's sake if not her own.
Yeah that "moment of desperation and frustration" is bull. Dragging the piano out of the house, shipping it to the junkyard and then smashing it to pieces. He didn't get a hold of his feelings during that whole time? That takes a lot of effort and quite a deal of meanness. So where will that temper show next? I agree with you that this is red flags all around.
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Once he has started smashing up the piano it is only a matter of time before he starts smashing up people. Been there with my first husband, first the furniture then me and the children. Make a police report for property damage if you hope to ever see the money or a new piano.
This is so messed up. Besides all the things others have said about how he's a terrible person, he's also just ignorant. Playing an instrument greatly increases academic success. It's proven.
Yeah, there's no way his "concerns" about the piano affecting the child's future aren't complete BS. He just doesn't like hearing her playing, and he's reaching for some kind of justification, because if he says "she should stop doing an activity that she loves and is important to her because it annoys me," it would be entirely obvious that he's a raging a-hole. (And the cat's out of the bag on that one with the whole piano-destroying temper tantrum, so this is a very clear-cut DTMFA situation. I suspect the mother relies on the stepfather economically, to be putting so much effort into trying to justify/find some way to forgive this, but if that's the case, she at least needs to start working on an exit plan. Even if he's the rare, one-in-a-million a-hole who will actually take a look in the mirror and work on himself after crossing the line like this, knowing that she can and will leave will only help with that process.
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These two red flags really stood out for me(from the forest of them). One when he claimed he was doing the mother's job for her by with her daughter. The other is the line about him saying he acted in a "moment of desperation and frustration". What else would he do in those moments?! She needs to get out of there for her daughter's sake if not her own.
Yeah that "moment of desperation and frustration" is bull. Dragging the piano out of the house, shipping it to the junkyard and then smashing it to pieces. He didn't get a hold of his feelings during that whole time? That takes a lot of effort and quite a deal of meanness. So where will that temper show next? I agree with you that this is red flags all around.
Load More Replies... Once he has started smashing up the piano it is only a matter of time before he starts smashing up people. Been there with my first husband, first the furniture then me and the children. Make a police report for property damage if you hope to ever see the money or a new piano.
This is so messed up. Besides all the things others have said about how he's a terrible person, he's also just ignorant. Playing an instrument greatly increases academic success. It's proven.
Yeah, there's no way his "concerns" about the piano affecting the child's future aren't complete BS. He just doesn't like hearing her playing, and he's reaching for some kind of justification, because if he says "she should stop doing an activity that she loves and is important to her because it annoys me," it would be entirely obvious that he's a raging a-hole. (And the cat's out of the bag on that one with the whole piano-destroying temper tantrum, so this is a very clear-cut DTMFA situation. I suspect the mother relies on the stepfather economically, to be putting so much effort into trying to justify/find some way to forgive this, but if that's the case, she at least needs to start working on an exit plan. Even if he's the rare, one-in-a-million a-hole who will actually take a look in the mirror and work on himself after crossing the line like this, knowing that she can and will leave will only help with that process.
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