“AITA For Telling My Husband My Daughter Doesn’t Have To Accommodate His Needs?”
Did you know that according to this piece from Smart Stepfamilies, the largest web resource for stepfamilies and stepfamily ministries, 40% of families in the U.S. are blended with at least one partner having a child from a previous relationship before marriage?
Well, today’s family is also not an exception!
Everyone knows that household dynamics are not always as perfect as most of us would ideally desire them to be. Bickering, poor communication, boundary issues, whatever – chances are, you’ve had your fair share of fights. However, one thing we know for sure is that when a step-relationship is involved, things may get much more delicate.
The author of today’s post has a daughter who came back home to study for her finals, and while she and her stepdad have a respectful relationship with each other, the student recently found herself in a bit of a pickle.
More info: Reddit
Asking your stepdaughter to clean up some water that you spilled is undoubtedly strange behavior
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual image)
“AITA for telling my husband my daughter doesn’t have to accommodate his needs?” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members if she was wrong to tell her husband to grow up and start cleaning up after himself after she caught him exploiting her daughter who came home from college to study for finals. The post managed to garner over 16K upvotes as well as 2.2K comments discussing the situation.
Wife confronts husband after finding out he kept dumping all his chores on her daughter who came home to study
Image source: u/Educational_Bonus838
The woman began her post by sharing that her daughter is currently in her second year of college. The student lives in the dorms, but usually, during finals, she comes home to study quietly. The OP’s husband, who’s not her daughter’s biological dad, has changed jobs and is now working remotely. The woman works from the office, so when her daughter visits, she and her stepdad are at the house by themselves.
The two have always gotten along pretty well. They respect, understand and trust each other – however, the man came into their lives too late to represent a full-on father figure, so the student never really perceived him as such, and he didn’t push it.
The OP’s daughter recently came back home to study for her finals – however, she kept being interrupted by her mother’s partner
Image source: u/Educational_Bonus838
Image credits: Michael Burrows (not the actual image)
Image source: u/Educational_Bonus838
Lately, the daughter had been complaining about her stepdad dumping his own mess on her despite knowing that she was busy learning. She would stay in her room and at some point, the man would knock on the door and ask her to clean up the table where he had just had lunch because he had a meeting to attend. Or, he would ask her to wipe some water that he spilled because, you guessed it, he had to focus on work.
The student told her mother that she felt like he didn’t care about her learning time and that he didn’t acknowledge the fact that she was also working. She also noted that she wouldn’t have cared if it had been a one-time occurrence, but it had become a recurring pattern.
The man would knock on the student’s door and ask her to clean up his own mess because he was busy with work
Image source: u/Educational_Bonus838
Now, to make sure of it, the post’s creator asked her offspring to not clean up the next time he asked, and of course, he was caught red-handed.
The woman questioned her husband as to why the table was dirty when she returned home from work, and he said that her daughter was supposed to take care of it. Naturally, the student opposed and said that she had no time to eat, much less clean up his mess. The author then lashed out at her spouse, telling him that her daughter came home to study for exams, not to clean up after him.
He tried to defend himself, saying he had an urgent meeting, but the woman said that she knew that it wasn’t the first time it had happened and that he could’ve easily cleaned up afterward.
When her daughter finally complained, the woman confronted her spouse, in response to which he played dumb and said that he didn’t know that it was such a big issue
Image source: u/Educational_Bonus838
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
The man groaned and said that he didn’t think it was a huge issue for her daughter to spare a few minutes to quickly load the dishwasher – however, he was then met with the same response, with the student asking him why he didn’t do it himself if he believed that it could be done so quickly.
The OP eventually had to break up the argument and determined that everyone needed to clean up after themselves. Later on, her spouse admitted that he felt “humiliated,” but he was quickly told to grow up and stop acting like her daughter would pick up after his mess.
What do you think about this situation?
Fellow online community members shared their thoughts and opinions on this matter
Surly it takes longer to go upstairs and get someone than to just clean up the spill yourself? This is not about cleaning.
It is 100% just a power move. Whether it's because he is misogynistic or he doesn't like his stepchild, he's not doing it because of any rational reason.
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It’s a power play. The daughter is showing admirable restraint (or a disappointing lack of imagination 😂)
"The man came into their lives too late to represent a full-on father figure..." is really all anyone needs to know here. Rando 2nd husband has absolutely zero authority over this girl and should leave her alone and clean his own lunch. A dude who can't even clean his own lunch mess deserves zero respect from anyone. Smdh.
I had chores when I was a kid living at home. My own parents would never have expected me to be at their beck and call to come clean up their messes on demand. I had defined chores. I wasn't their personal servant. If my dad had left his lunch dishes in the kitchen and it was my night to wash dishes, I would've cleaned them. He would never have expected me to go tidying after him or clean up spills for him.
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She's his step daughter, studying for finals, not his housekeeper. What a misogynistic tw@t
This is all about power and control. My late unlamented father did this kind of thing all the time.
i have a late, unlamented aunt who played everyone off of everyone else. at least she tried to. i feel this.
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This is sounding a little creepy. Daughter is a young, college sophomore and stepdad runs up to her room to ask her to clean up after him? Does he hang around the kitchen while she cleans? I'm getting ewww vibes from this situation.
You can't say men arent any less emotional and irrational. So many times I've seen and read of instances were men get insecure and butthurt over the smallest things.
Like, all of history? Pretty much every conflict and war is a bunch of men with bruised egos.
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Jesus Christ. Infuriating. What an a*****e that guy is and he knows better (or should know better). Humiliated? Only because he was acting like she should clean up his mess.
It sounds to me like he got used to having a secretary or something along those lines to come in behind him to clean up after meetings or whatever, and now he's trying to make your daughter do it because "he works hard all day so he shouldn't have to." That's a mindset MANY men have when a woman is at home, even if it's his (step)child. It takes putting your foot down and not allowing him to continue treating you or your daughter like that for him to understand you two are not his secretaries, janitors, or anyone else from work, you are his family. If that means all the dishes in the sink are his at the end of the day because daughter stayed in her room to study, guess who's doing dishes later? HIM. And who SPILLS WATER and then asks someone else to do it? It takes two seconds to grab a paper towel and wipe it up, that was just a power trip because he wants your daughter to know that in his eyes, his work is priority over her studies and got mad you dont agree.
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Apparently OP and daughter are the patchwork parents for this baby of a man.
It is disturbing to me that so many women are regularly gaslighted into thinking any of this is acceptable, so much so that they have to get online and ASK other ppl whether or not they are the AH for putting a stop to unacceptable behaviors from their male partners. That man clearly views women as "the help."
The dude had time to walk to her room, knock on her door and ask, so he definitely had time to wipe the water up and put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher/sink. This is something else altogether. It's really, really not ok. Big red flag. And let him be ashamed of himself. It's not like it seemed less weird before he got called out.
My wife would have dumped my sorry a*s on the spot if i ever pulled a stunt like that. OP husband is the A.
I don’t think you always need to side with your children, but if your spouse is treating your children like they’re slaves, it’s a huge red flag.
Red-Flag-O-Rama...this guy either resents that OP's daughter lives there or he's just an all-round lazy sexist c**t. Rotten behaviour either way & he deserves to be humiliated. He then tried to gaslight OP...just not a good prognosis for the marriage. OP ought reconsider staying in this situation- Hubs has issues w/ women.
He thinks he can tell a grown woman to stop what she's doing and wipe up the water he spilled? Why have we put up with stuff like this for thousands of years?
We haven't. Thousands of years?? How could you possibly know that things have been this way for "thousands of years"?? I'm not trying to be an asshòle, I just think it is an exaggeration to say women have been "putting up with stuff like this for thousands of years". Down vote is the arrow on the right, but women have known this for thousands of years. People don't want to face the fact that both sexes do annoying and stupid things. After reading through all these comments, one would think men are evil, and women are poor little, helpless oppressed beings. Do all women in America really believe they are oppressed and helpless??
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NTA: He's lucky her kid is his stepdaughter and not me. Last time one of my mom's bf's tried to tell me what to do it ended with a one finger solute, him trying to drunkenly punch me, and him getting thrown through a screen door right before I called the cops. I was 14, and it was basically at that exact moment when I knew I was only going to be responsible for my things EVER, going forward, and that's exactly what I did. Kids aren't your maids, whether one has a pènis or not. This gross misogynist needs to clean up after himself.
Tell the man to grow up and clean up after himself. She isn't his housekeeper. She comes home to prepare for exams, leave her alone. She should get a motel size fridge, a one burner hot plate and a hot water pot. Put it in her room so she doesn't need to come out of her room until her mom gets home or she needs to leave the house. If she wants to compromise tell him it will cost him $15.00 an hour for housekeeping wages. Then document time spent cleaning up after him. But this is only if she wants to.
NTA... I feel like he thinks she is an imposition, and cleaning after him is the price she should pay for his "allowing" her to be in the house. He should apologize and admit that he was wrong, but I doubt he has it in him.
Right. sabotage her study time so she won't want to visit home.
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NTA wow husband needs to learn how to do basic tasks. Wiping up spilled water or cleaning up after lunch are basic things that take quite literally less than a minute. He also sounds sexist, the daughter isn’t there just to clean up after him.
I am very close to my daughter as a stay at home Dad and I would never ask her to clean up any mess I made and she doesn’t expect me to clean up after her either. When my daughter was a teenager her room would get messy but you have to choose your battles and it’s not worth fighting over. She now owns her own house and manages to keep it clean.
The question is, why do people marry this kind of idiots. Are you that afraid of being on your own?
A lot of people are very good at not showing thier true colors until after they are married.
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My mum is great in most ways, but she never got the concept of not disturbing her daughters in the study zone. My sister liked long quite study time, I didn't mind noise but needed to be left completely alone. If my mum was home, forget studying. When I did my finals, I went to stop with her brother because they gave me peace. A few times, my mum still drove over for a coffee break - but my aunt was firm. Mum was not bad, she just didn't get it.
He definitely thinks cleaning is "women's work" and any female in his household should act as his maid. I'm betting if he had a stepson he wouldn't expect this of him.
He sounds like a more polite version of my father, who is now deceased, thankfully.
Daughter is reasonable. Once is okay. The habit is not. Also, for the first time, he should simply have done his urgent meeting then tidied up. If he could not, paper plates are a good option. It just goes into the trash. A restaurant lunch for the services is another. He should of course tip his server well. Agreeing with those who say it’s a power move. What’s next should she make him his lunch?
He's jealous. Some step parents can't stop themselves from competing for time, attention, and resources with their partner's child. I survived it, barely. Many step parents are amazing, but some are abusive, like this guy.
If he didn't work from home, would he leave his mess in the break room for someone else to clean up? Surprised he didn't ask her to cook it too
Op isn't the AH, the husband is. He's old enough to clean up after himself.
This is such bizarre behavior. I wish I had more information so I could understand his thought process. Does the wife clean up after him when she's home, was that the daughters job when she was a child, or did he just go on his own little power trip because the daughter is old enough, and mom wasn't around to witness it? I think it's pretty clear it's not okay.
Actually it says she's his stepdaughter and he was in her life too late to be a father figure.
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My mother did this to me after I finished college. I was working 2 jobs, about 75 hours a week, so I could save up and start my adult life. I would come home at 9:30 to the dinner dishes and expectation that they be done before going to bed. I cleaned the whole house weekly. I made a New Year's resolution to find my own place and had moved out by the end of the month. This will probably be this daughter's path too.
And the Award for the Best Wicked Witcher Stepfather of the year goes to.......This man is not just bad to his stepdaughter, looks like he genuinely thinks women are only designed to serve his needs. If you ask me, this is a HUGE red flag for the wife. In her place I would seriously consider staying married to that kind of "man".
First, you're NTA. Second, I have to wonder if he is doing this because she is "the child" and since she is home from college, he feels like she should carry some of the household chores? Most of us have our children participate in some way to contributing to the household, and maybe he thinks that she should "do something" around the house, so he has chosen this small thing for her to do. However, a conversation with both you and her would have definitely been more appropriate.
The time he takes trying to get daughter to clean up his mess needs to be spent cleaning up his mess. He definitely is the a**hole.
So my job is more important than her study. Um. Nope. Organise your time better. And stop being a misogynist.
Mine started that leavingmis mess out etc. I got tired of being his house maid I have worked full time the whole time we have been married. So I just took a trip to visit my daughter for a while. Now he cooks, does dishes sweeps when I ask him too. When I’m sick I don’t ask he does. What needs doing. When he slacks off I go visit daughter again. Object lessons work better than fighting. 42 years of marriage just us now I think he can clean up after himself
I'm glad the OP's daughter has a mom that doesn't let stepdad take advantage of her....in ANY way.
I need this isn't the first time. It's just the first time the daughter realized she was being asked to be his maid. He's gross and ridiculous. He humiliated himself.
What boggles my mind is why women don't look at the guy she chooses to marries more closer. If these women come in with children, have expectations with how the new spouse will engage and treat your children. We keep seeing these posts where the step parent has zero regard for the kids of the spouse. This is more than just cleaning up behind this bully she married. The fact that he even thought he could EXPECT her daughter to be his cleaning maid is telling. He sees her daughter as " less than" and I'm sure there are other ways he treated her dismissively which she just doesn't want to bother her mum with. I'm not seeing " respect, understanding or trust" from this guy. I see her tolerating this man for the sake of her mum. Glad this daughter is at college which means as soon as she gets that great job she can start loving her mum away from that home environment and her cupcake bully husband. Op you are TA in my book.
It sounds like he wants to establish control but hasn't met the right person and/or doesn't earn enough to support a 24/7 housewife or a BDSM slave, though, with his behaviour, I don't think he'll respect her enough. Best for him is to hire a cleaner that goes and cleans after him
I lived that situation when I was forced to clean up behind my pops even if I didn't dirty anything up or leave any mess. Back then I thought it was B.S. to abuse his role as father by making me pretty his personal maid. For Years now, I live far from my pops and I have wised up big time. However this problem is like a stick in the mud. I still think it's B.S. I commend the mother for stepping up to tell him to act like an adult and I do NOT think she was in the wrong here.
I was 100% ready to be on dads side. But even I gotta say he’s wrong for what he’s doing. I’m a stay at home mom of 6. My husband almost never cleans ANYTHING he will spill food on the floor and then just leave it there for me to clean. That’s “my job” and his job is working 10 hour days in heat, cold, snow, rain. It gets a bit annoying at times sure. But I appreciate that he DOES work very hard out of the house and because of him I’m blessed to be able to stay home and raise my children, I don’t have to get cold or wet outside. I get to enjoy being inside and I work when I want to and how I want to with no one over my shoulder telling me I’m doing it wrong or anything. So it’s how our family works and we’re both pretty happy with it. That’s something I do for my HUSBAND. It sounds so weird he expects his daughter, step or not to clean up after him. Put your own c**p away.
Hope he doesn't impregnate you again so you can eventually go outside. Maybe that will make you pretty happy. I'm sure if you didn't clean up quickly enough you would have "someone " telling you you're doing it wrong.
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The funny part is... You don't need 24 hours to study. Burn out is a thing. Breaks actually are shown to increase retention of information in studies to.... Probably more of a help out while your under our roof kinda thing to.
I remember when kids used to just respect their parents and noone made bs excuses for them...
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Is the husband covering his share of expenses and part of the daughters too? If so, she is not a maid, she's doing chores. It's the thanks parents get for contributing to their kid's lifestyle.
Laundry is a chore. Flitting around behind a messy man is not.
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So before i tapped "reply" on your comment, i took the time to click on your username and check out your other comments, replies ect. I don't like making myself look stupid by allowing my mouth to outrun my brain or just assuming that my thoughts and opinions are anywhere close to being related to facts without taking the time to research said facts... Those behaviors are practiced more then enough on this forum... Well said research has led me to a conclusion and a question... The conclusion being that u seem to be possessed of a greater intelligence then a lot of people i see on here... The question being: if this forum irritates u as much as it seems to, why do u spend so much time and effort on it?
Load More Replies... Surly it takes longer to go upstairs and get someone than to just clean up the spill yourself? This is not about cleaning.
It is 100% just a power move. Whether it's because he is misogynistic or he doesn't like his stepchild, he's not doing it because of any rational reason.
Load More Replies... It’s a power play. The daughter is showing admirable restraint (or a disappointing lack of imagination 😂)
"The man came into their lives too late to represent a full-on father figure..." is really all anyone needs to know here. Rando 2nd husband has absolutely zero authority over this girl and should leave her alone and clean his own lunch. A dude who can't even clean his own lunch mess deserves zero respect from anyone. Smdh.
I had chores when I was a kid living at home. My own parents would never have expected me to be at their beck and call to come clean up their messes on demand. I had defined chores. I wasn't their personal servant. If my dad had left his lunch dishes in the kitchen and it was my night to wash dishes, I would've cleaned them. He would never have expected me to go tidying after him or clean up spills for him.
Load More Replies... She's his step daughter, studying for finals, not his housekeeper. What a misogynistic tw@t
This is all about power and control. My late unlamented father did this kind of thing all the time.
i have a late, unlamented aunt who played everyone off of everyone else. at least she tried to. i feel this.
Load More Replies... This is sounding a little creepy. Daughter is a young, college sophomore and stepdad runs up to her room to ask her to clean up after him? Does he hang around the kitchen while she cleans? I'm getting ewww vibes from this situation.
You can't say men arent any less emotional and irrational. So many times I've seen and read of instances were men get insecure and butthurt over the smallest things.
Like, all of history? Pretty much every conflict and war is a bunch of men with bruised egos.
Load More Replies... Jesus Christ. Infuriating. What an a*****e that guy is and he knows better (or should know better). Humiliated? Only because he was acting like she should clean up his mess.
It sounds to me like he got used to having a secretary or something along those lines to come in behind him to clean up after meetings or whatever, and now he's trying to make your daughter do it because "he works hard all day so he shouldn't have to." That's a mindset MANY men have when a woman is at home, even if it's his (step)child. It takes putting your foot down and not allowing him to continue treating you or your daughter like that for him to understand you two are not his secretaries, janitors, or anyone else from work, you are his family. If that means all the dishes in the sink are his at the end of the day because daughter stayed in her room to study, guess who's doing dishes later? HIM. And who SPILLS WATER and then asks someone else to do it? It takes two seconds to grab a paper towel and wipe it up, that was just a power trip because he wants your daughter to know that in his eyes, his work is priority over her studies and got mad you dont agree.
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Load More Replies... Apparently OP and daughter are the patchwork parents for this baby of a man.
It is disturbing to me that so many women are regularly gaslighted into thinking any of this is acceptable, so much so that they have to get online and ASK other ppl whether or not they are the AH for putting a stop to unacceptable behaviors from their male partners. That man clearly views women as "the help."
The dude had time to walk to her room, knock on her door and ask, so he definitely had time to wipe the water up and put his dirty dishes in the dishwasher/sink. This is something else altogether. It's really, really not ok. Big red flag. And let him be ashamed of himself. It's not like it seemed less weird before he got called out.
My wife would have dumped my sorry a*s on the spot if i ever pulled a stunt like that. OP husband is the A.
I don’t think you always need to side with your children, but if your spouse is treating your children like they’re slaves, it’s a huge red flag.
Red-Flag-O-Rama...this guy either resents that OP's daughter lives there or he's just an all-round lazy sexist c**t. Rotten behaviour either way & he deserves to be humiliated. He then tried to gaslight OP...just not a good prognosis for the marriage. OP ought reconsider staying in this situation- Hubs has issues w/ women.
He thinks he can tell a grown woman to stop what she's doing and wipe up the water he spilled? Why have we put up with stuff like this for thousands of years?
We haven't. Thousands of years?? How could you possibly know that things have been this way for "thousands of years"?? I'm not trying to be an asshòle, I just think it is an exaggeration to say women have been "putting up with stuff like this for thousands of years". Down vote is the arrow on the right, but women have known this for thousands of years. People don't want to face the fact that both sexes do annoying and stupid things. After reading through all these comments, one would think men are evil, and women are poor little, helpless oppressed beings. Do all women in America really believe they are oppressed and helpless??
Load More Replies... NTA: He's lucky her kid is his stepdaughter and not me. Last time one of my mom's bf's tried to tell me what to do it ended with a one finger solute, him trying to drunkenly punch me, and him getting thrown through a screen door right before I called the cops. I was 14, and it was basically at that exact moment when I knew I was only going to be responsible for my things EVER, going forward, and that's exactly what I did. Kids aren't your maids, whether one has a pènis or not. This gross misogynist needs to clean up after himself.
Tell the man to grow up and clean up after himself. She isn't his housekeeper. She comes home to prepare for exams, leave her alone. She should get a motel size fridge, a one burner hot plate and a hot water pot. Put it in her room so she doesn't need to come out of her room until her mom gets home or she needs to leave the house. If she wants to compromise tell him it will cost him $15.00 an hour for housekeeping wages. Then document time spent cleaning up after him. But this is only if she wants to.
NTA... I feel like he thinks she is an imposition, and cleaning after him is the price she should pay for his "allowing" her to be in the house. He should apologize and admit that he was wrong, but I doubt he has it in him.
Right. sabotage her study time so she won't want to visit home.
Load More Replies... NTA wow husband needs to learn how to do basic tasks. Wiping up spilled water or cleaning up after lunch are basic things that take quite literally less than a minute. He also sounds sexist, the daughter isn’t there just to clean up after him.
I am very close to my daughter as a stay at home Dad and I would never ask her to clean up any mess I made and she doesn’t expect me to clean up after her either. When my daughter was a teenager her room would get messy but you have to choose your battles and it’s not worth fighting over. She now owns her own house and manages to keep it clean.
The question is, why do people marry this kind of idiots. Are you that afraid of being on your own?
A lot of people are very good at not showing thier true colors until after they are married.
Load More Replies... My mum is great in most ways, but she never got the concept of not disturbing her daughters in the study zone. My sister liked long quite study time, I didn't mind noise but needed to be left completely alone. If my mum was home, forget studying. When I did my finals, I went to stop with her brother because they gave me peace. A few times, my mum still drove over for a coffee break - but my aunt was firm. Mum was not bad, she just didn't get it.
He definitely thinks cleaning is "women's work" and any female in his household should act as his maid. I'm betting if he had a stepson he wouldn't expect this of him.
He sounds like a more polite version of my father, who is now deceased, thankfully.
Daughter is reasonable. Once is okay. The habit is not. Also, for the first time, he should simply have done his urgent meeting then tidied up. If he could not, paper plates are a good option. It just goes into the trash. A restaurant lunch for the services is another. He should of course tip his server well. Agreeing with those who say it’s a power move. What’s next should she make him his lunch?
He's jealous. Some step parents can't stop themselves from competing for time, attention, and resources with their partner's child. I survived it, barely. Many step parents are amazing, but some are abusive, like this guy.
If he didn't work from home, would he leave his mess in the break room for someone else to clean up? Surprised he didn't ask her to cook it too
Op isn't the AH, the husband is. He's old enough to clean up after himself.
This is such bizarre behavior. I wish I had more information so I could understand his thought process. Does the wife clean up after him when she's home, was that the daughters job when she was a child, or did he just go on his own little power trip because the daughter is old enough, and mom wasn't around to witness it? I think it's pretty clear it's not okay.
Actually it says she's his stepdaughter and he was in her life too late to be a father figure.
Load More Replies... My mother did this to me after I finished college. I was working 2 jobs, about 75 hours a week, so I could save up and start my adult life. I would come home at 9:30 to the dinner dishes and expectation that they be done before going to bed. I cleaned the whole house weekly. I made a New Year's resolution to find my own place and had moved out by the end of the month. This will probably be this daughter's path too.
And the Award for the Best Wicked Witcher Stepfather of the year goes to.......This man is not just bad to his stepdaughter, looks like he genuinely thinks women are only designed to serve his needs. If you ask me, this is a HUGE red flag for the wife. In her place I would seriously consider staying married to that kind of "man".
First, you're NTA. Second, I have to wonder if he is doing this because she is "the child" and since she is home from college, he feels like she should carry some of the household chores? Most of us have our children participate in some way to contributing to the household, and maybe he thinks that she should "do something" around the house, so he has chosen this small thing for her to do. However, a conversation with both you and her would have definitely been more appropriate.
The time he takes trying to get daughter to clean up his mess needs to be spent cleaning up his mess. He definitely is the a**hole.
So my job is more important than her study. Um. Nope. Organise your time better. And stop being a misogynist.
Mine started that leavingmis mess out etc. I got tired of being his house maid I have worked full time the whole time we have been married. So I just took a trip to visit my daughter for a while. Now he cooks, does dishes sweeps when I ask him too. When I’m sick I don’t ask he does. What needs doing. When he slacks off I go visit daughter again. Object lessons work better than fighting. 42 years of marriage just us now I think he can clean up after himself
I'm glad the OP's daughter has a mom that doesn't let stepdad take advantage of her....in ANY way.
I need this isn't the first time. It's just the first time the daughter realized she was being asked to be his maid. He's gross and ridiculous. He humiliated himself.
What boggles my mind is why women don't look at the guy she chooses to marries more closer. If these women come in with children, have expectations with how the new spouse will engage and treat your children. We keep seeing these posts where the step parent has zero regard for the kids of the spouse. This is more than just cleaning up behind this bully she married. The fact that he even thought he could EXPECT her daughter to be his cleaning maid is telling. He sees her daughter as " less than" and I'm sure there are other ways he treated her dismissively which she just doesn't want to bother her mum with. I'm not seeing " respect, understanding or trust" from this guy. I see her tolerating this man for the sake of her mum. Glad this daughter is at college which means as soon as she gets that great job she can start loving her mum away from that home environment and her cupcake bully husband. Op you are TA in my book.
It sounds like he wants to establish control but hasn't met the right person and/or doesn't earn enough to support a 24/7 housewife or a BDSM slave, though, with his behaviour, I don't think he'll respect her enough. Best for him is to hire a cleaner that goes and cleans after him
I lived that situation when I was forced to clean up behind my pops even if I didn't dirty anything up or leave any mess. Back then I thought it was B.S. to abuse his role as father by making me pretty his personal maid. For Years now, I live far from my pops and I have wised up big time. However this problem is like a stick in the mud. I still think it's B.S. I commend the mother for stepping up to tell him to act like an adult and I do NOT think she was in the wrong here.
I was 100% ready to be on dads side. But even I gotta say he’s wrong for what he’s doing. I’m a stay at home mom of 6. My husband almost never cleans ANYTHING he will spill food on the floor and then just leave it there for me to clean. That’s “my job” and his job is working 10 hour days in heat, cold, snow, rain. It gets a bit annoying at times sure. But I appreciate that he DOES work very hard out of the house and because of him I’m blessed to be able to stay home and raise my children, I don’t have to get cold or wet outside. I get to enjoy being inside and I work when I want to and how I want to with no one over my shoulder telling me I’m doing it wrong or anything. So it’s how our family works and we’re both pretty happy with it. That’s something I do for my HUSBAND. It sounds so weird he expects his daughter, step or not to clean up after him. Put your own c**p away.
Hope he doesn't impregnate you again so you can eventually go outside. Maybe that will make you pretty happy. I'm sure if you didn't clean up quickly enough you would have "someone " telling you you're doing it wrong.
Load More Replies... The funny part is... You don't need 24 hours to study. Burn out is a thing. Breaks actually are shown to increase retention of information in studies to.... Probably more of a help out while your under our roof kinda thing to.
I remember when kids used to just respect their parents and noone made bs excuses for them...
Load More Replies... Is the husband covering his share of expenses and part of the daughters too? If so, she is not a maid, she's doing chores. It's the thanks parents get for contributing to their kid's lifestyle.
Laundry is a chore. Flitting around behind a messy man is not.
Load More Replies... So before i tapped "reply" on your comment, i took the time to click on your username and check out your other comments, replies ect. I don't like making myself look stupid by allowing my mouth to outrun my brain or just assuming that my thoughts and opinions are anywhere close to being related to facts without taking the time to research said facts... Those behaviors are practiced more then enough on this forum... Well said research has led me to a conclusion and a question... The conclusion being that u seem to be possessed of a greater intelligence then a lot of people i see on here... The question being: if this forum irritates u as much as it seems to, why do u spend so much time and effort on it?
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