Internet Gives Woman A Reality Check After She Complains About Cheating Husband And Fair Therapist

Should I stay or should I go? It’s a question many might ask themselves if their spouse has an affair. Studies have found that around 60%-75% of partners do reconcile after infidelity, but not all of these relationships last.

One woman was devastated when she found out her husband of 10 years had cheated on her. The couple started therapy and her husband has taken full responsibility for the affair. Their therapist has set a rule that neither can take the moral high ground for the next 3 months, and they each need to own their parts. But the woman says this is unfair because he’s the one in the wrong. Netizens have given her a harsh reality check.

They’re trying to make it work after he had an affair, and have started couples therapy

Couple lying in bed together, illustrating relationship issues and therapy for cheating husband concerns.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

But they’re now stuck after their therapist told them neither is allowed to take the moral high ground

Woman shares experience with cheating husband and fair therapist in couples therapy after 10 years of marriage.

Text excerpt from a woman sharing feelings about a cheating husband and insight from a fair therapist on emotional loneliness.

Text describing a woman’s emotional struggle with postpartum anxiety and relationship challenges with her cheating husband.

Text excerpt showing a woman reflecting on lost compassion and admitting her cheating husband after his hardships.

Text discussing therapist’s exercises for rebuilding trust after cheating husband with a fair therapist’s guidance.

Woman wearing gray cardigan looking upset and thoughtful, reflecting on cheating husband and fair therapist issues.

Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)

Therapist advises accountability within as woman struggles with cheating husband and fairness in therapy sessions.

Woman shares feelings about cheating husband and receives a fair therapist’s perspective on relationship and accountability.

Text showing a woman’s emotional confession about her cheating husband and advice from a fair therapist online.

Image credits: Beginning_Cream7030

“So, your partner’s relationship exit was an affair, what was yours?”: an expert’s POV

Couple's intertwined legs in bed representing cheating husband and relationship issues discussed by therapist.

Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

A whopping 40% of marriages experience infidelity. That’s almost half… And those are only the people who admit to cheating, so the figure is probably higher. The findings come from 25 years of research by a psychiatrist called Dr. Scott Haltzman.

On a more positive note, Haltzman reveals in his book “The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity” that more than half of American marriages survive an affair. But doing so involves hard work from both partners, and ideally a good amount of therapy.

Shan Merchant is a relationship coach and couples therapist who has seen many couples go from the brink of divorce to “peaceful, reconnected, and unafraid of conflict in 90 days or less.” She says she’s seen a pattern in the clients whose marriages have survived affairs versus the ones who ended up splitting.

“The couples in my therapy practice who work through the affair are willing to delve into every facet of their relationship before the affair unfolded,” reveals the expert. “They commit their energy to the crucial stages of understanding and exploration.”

She adds that these couples also don’t perpetuate conflicts, assign blame, or inflict shame upon one another. “They put their weapons and defences down,” she says.

Merchant says couples who survive infidelity are also prepared to “listen patiently again and again to the answers to these questions: How did we get here? What was missing?”

In her experience, the therapist says those who refuse to do the above things inevitably find themselves on a path to emotional exhaustion, hopelessness, and ultimately, failure.

Merchant stresses that affairs don’t just happen out of the blue. “While it’s clear that the unfaithful partner is responsible for causing the most damaging rupture to the relationship, in 99% of cases I find that both partners have contributed 50:50 to the conditions that created the affair,” she reveals. “You must uncover and own your contribution. We do this in pursuit of growth and to accelerate your recovery from the affair.”

According to Merchant, infidelity is only one ‘relationship exit,’ which is basically an escape hatch we use when our relationship becomes challenging and we don’t want to confront the issues head-on. Other exits include working long hours, spending too much time on our phones, and prioritizing children, family, or friends over the relationship.

The expert says we take these exits to avoid conflict, intimacy, and vulnerability. “In working through your affair, you must identify all your exits,” she advises. “So, your partner’s relationship [exit] was an affair, what was yours?”

Merchant says both partners need to be able to take responsibility for their roles in the lead-up to the affair, and must work together towards rebuilding trust.

“With patience, understanding, and repeated evidence of renewed commitment from both partners, couples can make it through infidelity and come out stronger than ever before,” she adds.

Many people agreed that the therapist gave great advice, and some felt the marriage was over

Screenshot of an online discussion where a user reflects on morality, blame, and therapist insights about a cheating husband.

Comment from a fair therapist giving a reality check to a woman complaining about her cheating husband.

Reddit user shares emotional experience and internet reality check about a cheating husband and fair therapist advice.

Text from fair therapist offering a reality check to woman about cheating husband and their marriage issues.

Alt text: Internet user comments giving a reality check to a woman about her cheating husband and fair therapist advice.

Screenshot of an online comment giving a reality check about a cheating husband and suggesting a fair therapist.

Comment from internet users giving a reality check to woman about her cheating husband and fair therapist situation.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment giving a reality check to a woman about her cheating husband and relationship issues.

Screenshot of an internet comment offering advice to a woman in therapy about her cheating husband and marriage.

Reddit comment giving a reality check to woman about cheating husband and fair therapist’s perspective on grief and mistakes.

Screenshot of an online comment saying a marriage is over, related to cheating husband and fair therapist discussion.

Comment from internet users giving a reality check to a woman about her cheating husband and therapist’s advice.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a cheating husband and advice from a fair therapist on marriage choices.

Comment on woman’s cheating husband and fair therapist sparks internet reality check about relationships and emotional struggles.

Comment from internet user giving a reality check about cheating husband and fair therapist in an online discussion.

Comment discussing a woman’s reaction to a cheating husband and advice from a fair therapist on moral ground.

Screenshot of online comment discussing a cheating husband and reflecting on a fair therapist’s perspective.

Commenter gives reality check about cheating husband and fair therapist, emphasizing personal growth and accountability in therapy.

Reddit comment discussing a cheating husband and a fair therapist’s perspective on marriage and grief.

Screenshot of an internet comment giving a reality check to a woman about her cheating husband and fair therapist situation.

Comment discussing cheating husband and fair therapist posted online giving woman a reality check on her situation.

User comment on internet forum offering advice about unhappy marriage, cheating husband, and therapist fairness.

Text post discussing emotional healing and kindness in relationships after cheating, featuring internet reactions and therapist views.

Online community gives woman a reality check about cheating husband and fair therapist advice on marriage issues.

Comment from Internet user giving a reality check about cheating husband and advice from a fair therapist.

Commenter explains fairness of therapist and internet reality check after woman complains about cheating husband and marriage.

Screenshot of an online comment giving a reality check to a woman complaining about her cheating husband and therapist.

Comment from internet user giving a reality check to woman about her cheating husband and fair therapist situation.

Reddit comment discussing a cheating husband and fair therapist offering a reality check on relationship issues.

Screenshot of an internet comment giving a reality check to a woman about her cheating husband and therapy.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!