Guy Thinks It’s His Job To Tell SIL’s Kids Their Dad Passed Away, Gets Banned From Funeral For It

You know that one person who just has to spoil the end of the movie while you’re still watching the trailer? Sometimes the urge to “just say it” can cause more damage than a thousand words ever could.

Today’s Original Poster (OP) tried to support her sister during the devastating loss of her husband. However, after asking her husband not to break the sad news to her sister’s kids, he did just that.

More info: Reddit

When you ask a person not to do something, for whatever reason, that’s the moment they want to do that exact thing

Man in hospital bed with woman comforting him, illustrating a sensitive moment related to telling kids about their dad's passing.

Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The author took in her niece and nephew to support her sister while the children’s father was terminally ill

Text excerpt about a guy banned from funeral after telling SIL’s kids their dad passed away against sister’s wishes.

Text describing a man upset after learning about his sister-in-law’s husband passing away, dealing with funeral issues.

Text about a man arguing about telling SIL’s kids their dad passed away against their mother's wishes.

Image credits: Specific_Problem3443

Woman with hand on face looking distraught, illustrating emotional impact of telling SIL’s kids their dad passed away.

Image credits: margonikolskaya / agency (not the actual photo)

After the father’s death, she rushed to be with her grieving sister, asking her husband to watch the kids and not tell them the news

Text excerpt showing a woman describing her shock and anger after SIL’s kids were told their dad passed away by someone else.

Text excerpt about a mother’s reaction after a man told SIL’s kids their dad passed away and got banned.

Alt text: Emotional scene with kids crying after their dad passed away, highlighting the sensitive family situation at the funeral.

Image credits: Specific_Problem3443

Young boy crying with tears on his face, sitting indoors, illustrating emotional impact of telling SIL’s kids their dad passed away.

Image credits: anna_ostanina / Freepik (not the actual photo)

Despite clear instructions, her husband broke the news to the kids prematurely, causing them to break down emotionally

Text excerpt about a man telling SIL’s kids their dad passed away against wishes, causing funeral ban.

Text excerpt about a guy banned from a funeral after telling SIL’s kids their dad passed away against family wishes.

Text excerpt about feeling ashamed and letting down a sister after someone disrespected her stated wishes.

Image credits: Specific_Problem3443

The sister was devastated and banned the author’s husband from the funeral, and he claimed it was unfair and petty

The OP’s brother-in-law had been sick for six months and over time, he got worse, so she took her sister’s kids in to give her time to focus on her husband’s final days. When he passed away, her sister made one clear request: she wanted to be the one to tell her kids about their father’s death.

The OP agreed and made her husband promise not to say a word while she went to support her sister. Sadly, that promise didn’t hold up for long because despite his nod of agreement, the husband broke the news to the children just one hour after she left. The kids were shattered, and their cries reached their mother through the phone before she even saw them.

The OP and her sister rushed home, and while the sister shut the door to comfort them, the OP confronted her husband. He explained his reason for breaking the news to them, stating that he couldn’t stand hearing them talk about seeing their dad again.

Despite his apologies, the damage had already been done. The OP’s sister asked that he stay away from the children, especially after seeing their breakdown. She even requested that he not attend the funeral, but he got upset, claiming it was unfair and petty of her sister to exclude him from the funeral.

To better understand the psychological impact of premature or unexpected parental death on children, Bored Panda spoke with clinical psychologist Christabell Madondo, who emphasized how deeply such news can affect a child’s emotional well-being.

She explained that children may experience intense grief reactions like shock, anxiety, or guilt, and if left unsupported, could develop depression or trauma-related symptoms over time. “How kids process loss often depends on their age,” she noted, pointing out that younger kids might regress, while teenagers might act out or wrestle with existential questions.

Woman comforting two crying children sitting on the floor, reflecting emotions after news of their dad passed away.

Image generated by Bored Panda using chatGPT

We also asked why some adults tend to override others’ wishes during grief-related situations, to which Madondo explained that this behavior often stems from a combination of control, discomfort, and misunderstanding. “In grief, the need for control can be a way to restore order amid emotional tension,” she said.

She explained that discomfort arises when people struggle to accept grief expressions different from their own, leading them to impose what they believe is best. Additionally, misunderstandings around cultural or personal grieving styles may prompt well-meaning but misguided actions.

Lastly, we explored the long-term effects of violating emotional boundaries within grieving families, and Madondo warned that ignoring these boundaries can erode trust and even bring about resentment.

“Family members may end up suppressing emotions, which can lead to unresolved grief, anxiety, or depression,” she said, noting that such breaches often result in emotional distance or estrangement, which could explain why the OP’s sister requested that the husband not be present at the funeral.

Netizens criticized the OP’s husband for blatantly disregarding a very clear and important boundary set by the grieving mother, and that his actions caused unnecessary trauma to two young children. They also took issue with his reaction after the fact, viewing his insistence on attending the funeral and framing himself as the victim as deeply inappropriate.

What do you think about this situation? Do you think the husband was genuinely trying to help, or was he completely out of line regardless? We would love to know your thoughts!

Netizens insisted that her husband was totally wrong for going against the clear instructions of not telling the kids about the death of their father

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation about a guy banned from a funeral after telling sister-in-law’s kids their dad passed away.

Reddit comment discussing drama caused by a guy banned from a funeral after telling SIL’s kids their dad passed away.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a guy banned from a funeral for telling SIL's kids their dad passed away.

Comment criticizing husband who told SIL’s kids their dad passed away and got banned from funeral.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment advising to alert funeral home about unwanted guest banned from funeral for telling SIL’s kids about dad.

Reddit comment criticizing a husband for telling SIL’s kids about their dad’s passing and being banned from the funeral.

User comment criticizing a man who told sister-in-law’s kids about their dad’s death and got banned from funeral.

Reddit comment discussing a guy telling SIL’s kids their dad passed and getting banned from the funeral.

Reddit comment criticizing a guy for failing his duty in telling SIL’s kids their dad passed away and getting banned from funeral.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a guy banned from a funeral after telling SIL’s kids their dad passed away.

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