When I got my diagnose it was way to late for many things.
With mental problems no one tells you that you are gonna lose part of yourself, part of your mind, your thoughts.
You starting to feel less and less like yourself and sooner or later it is starting affecting all parts of your life: family, friends, work, even your animals at home.
Things that were stable are not giving any comfort anymore, does not fit anymore to your mind and everything is hostile to the point that you don’t want to breath anymore…
I was diagnosed with depression few years back. Been on meds on and off and for some time it was good. Then – life happened- lots of stress, loss and bad people and I guess my mind thought “let’s shake things up a bit” and mood swings started.
Nothing major at the beginning but then it got worse, friend turned their back on me, I pushed some away, was worried for my partner how long he will stand… well, everything.
I couldn’t hold my job, lost a lots of money still in a big debt and medical expanses and yet I’m still fighting, or maybe that is a wrong word in this situation.
I started to give my mind a loads of different mediums to express it’s frustrations, worries and anxiety and soon after it turned out that there is so much color in my mind!
I may be losing sometimes but until I can hold brush in my hand, have some paints, wool, clay, wood and other materials, I’m good. That is my way to overcome darkness inside and maniac that just want to be heard. From that combination came a very bright and colorful projects that I gave to people and when I see their smile than I don’t think anymore I’m worthless and even with bipolar can do some good.
Last year with “monthly boxes” that was filled with hand made items made not just by me but other fellow artists and craftsmen’s (that lost their jobs due to lockdowns) we were rising money for different animal foundations and shelters that were in bad shape after covid.
There is still a lot that needs to be done and I really want to do it, I want to help, I want to feel that I’m helping and that I CAN help and no bipolar will stop me!
Just wanted to share for a bigger audience because this may be my way of living for good and if you want to share any voice of critique or advice, I would be much obliged.
If you want to see more of what I do, you can find it on my instagram: https://www.instagram.com/witchy_stuff_shop/
Thank You for listening
Vivien
More info: Instagram
Xibalba – this one is my first painting ever made.
I still remember my thoughts when I started it. Base was totally black and then I just started add more colors from a different type of paints and mediums.
Mr Blue – how free and careless are birds up there
Xibalba 2
This one is tricky to make a good photo. In the middle is some liquid silver from Molotov and glass beads. You can see your reflection in parts of it.
Than I changed acrylic paint for something more natural and ecofriendly, and definitely hoarding less space.
Leather is salvaged from bigger companies as a “garbage” for them, gold for me
Just couldn’t stand the idea that if that someone want to throw it out, when not only can be used for something beautiful but also or above all in honor of animal that died
Until meat industry will work, there will be leather and there is still no other material that strong and ecological as leather
After small projects came bigger and this is my first bag
all hand paint, hand sewn and carved
That’s the second one and I still have more and more ideas
And that’s me on a good day
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