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Being a stay-at-home parent is a huge challenge. It’s not easy. Anyone who thinks otherwise either hasn’t tried it themselves or has a warped perspective on life because they’re listening to way too many ‘alpha male’ podcasts.
Whatever the case might be, a bit of hands-on experience is the best way to change your mind! Redditor u/Mindless_Command7079, a mom of two, spilled the tea about how she taught her rude brother, who was dismissive of stay-at-home parents, a lesson he’ll never forget. She drew him into a bet that he couldn’t last even a day in her shoes. Check out the full story below.
Bored Panda reached out to the mom via Reddit, and we’ll update the article once we hear back from her.
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Raising kids is a non-stop responsibility. Some people still don’t get just how much consistent effort it requires
Image credits: Zinkevych_D / Envato (not the actual photo)
A woman shared how she taught her brother a lesson after he suggested that being a stay-at-home mom is ‘easy’
Image credits: peoplecreations / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Mindless_Command7079
Couples need to find a way to split the chores and childcare in a way that makes sense for them
How you and your partner end up dividing up the chores and childcare at home will depend a ton on your specific situation and relationship dynamics. In other words, there aren’t any easy, cookie-cutter answers. Something that works for one couple might be awful for another.
For example, a totally perfect 50/50 split of housework might simply not be feasible or practical for every couple. ‘Perfect’ fairness might not be possible. But subjective fairness? Definitely within everyone’s reach.
What’s important here is that both partners are on the same page, that they communicate their needs, support each other, and that they’re proactive with doing the chores as required (not simply when asked to pitch in). Nobody’s a mind-reader. Not everyone’s great at picking up subtle hints from their partner’s body language and tone. If there’s a problem, both partners need to speak up.
In some households, one partner might be fine doing more of the housework because they’re either a stay-at-home parent or they work from home more often than their spouse. Elsewhere, both parents might work from the office or from home, so it makes sense to have a more egalitarian split of tasks.
On average, wives still take on more responsibilities at home than their husbands
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, even in heterosexual egalitarian marriages, where both partners earn more or less the same amount of money, women still tend to take on more unpaid responsibilities at home, on average.
CNN reports that a recent Pew Research Center study found that on average husbands spend 3.5 hours more per week on leisure than their wives. Meanwhile, wives spend around 2 hours more on caregiving and about 2.5 hours more on housework than their husbands.
The data noted that men tend to spend more time on caregiving than their wives only in situations where the latter are the sole breadwinners. However, even then, both partners still spend an equal amount of time on chores.
Probably the best way to split the chores at home is to look at what you and your partner genuinely enjoy or don’t mind doing. Someone who actually likes mopping and vacuuming can be responsible for those household tasks. On the flip side, the person who finds washing the dishes meditative can focus on that.
Meanwhile, any chores that are unpleasant for both partners can end up being shared equally, so nobody feels like they’re the only individual being ‘punished.’
Alternatively, if money isn’t an issue, hiring a babysitter or housekeeper from time to time can give the parents some much-deserved breathing room.
The stay-at-home mom’s brother quickly buckled once he realized just how chaotic childcare can get
Image credits: Pixabay / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author’s story went viral on the r/TwoXChromosomes online community. At the time of writing, it has garnered over 10k upvotes and got nearly 1k comments.
It didn’t take long for u/Mindless_Command7079’s brother to see just how wrong he was about stay-at-home parenting supposedly being ‘easy.’ Heck, you could argue that he didn’t even give the challenge a fair try. A bit of household chaos was enough to get him to abandon his tough-guy act.
“He broke by 8:30 in the morning. He started making pancakes for my daughter and then she started to throw a tantrum because they ‘looked too much like Mickey Mouse,’ then he noticed that my son had taken off his diaper (something that I am desperately trying to get him to stop doing), and dumped his poopoo onto the floor,” the author shared.
What would you do to convince someone that being a stay-at-home parent is a serious vocation? How do you split the chores and childcare at home with your partner, Pandas? Which household tasks do you enjoy the most and which ones do you wish never existed? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Many internet users were very supportive of the author. Here’s what they had to say about the family drama
A few people had some more radical takes on stay-at-home parenting. Their responses were very unpopular
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What do you think ?
Melissa anderson 1 year ago
Toxic masculinity is a psychological disorder. And people like Andrew Tate are spreading this disease to the weak minded males who are insecure about their masculinity.
Shark Lady 1 year ago
There's always one that has to make tiredness into a competition, like the single parent in the comments. I'd like to think that the Andrew Tate, wannabe brother learnt his lesson, but that hope would be beyond foolishness.
Acruss 1 year ago
Tate and other gurus cult won't learn anything. That's like with flat earthers, you can prove to them milion times that they're wrong, but they will never change and/or admit to be wrong.
Load More Replies...
LilliVB 1 year ago
While I agree that some people find being SAHP easy (and for some it can be), what baffles me is that some doesn't recognize it for what it is. A job. An unpaid one, but a job nonetheless. So for someone can be hard and overwhelming, for another it can be easy and fullfilling (like any other job on the planet), but it doesn't change the fact that it is a job. And it should be considered like one.
Jill Rhodry 1 year ago
Mothers don't 'die on the job' - I'm assuming this is in the US - there were 5,190 fatal work injuries occurred across all industries in the United States in 2021 - that same year, 4,970 DV deaths - that means being a female partner to man is the most dangerous occupation for any person by a phenomenal margin.
Annik Perrot 1 year ago
I was a SAHM for 4 kids, and I can tell you, it's no sinecure. Hubby was away from 7h30am to 7h30pm, so I did everything. Have you tried shopping for groceries with a toddler in the cart, and à baby in a stomach carrier? When my youngest entered maternelle (pre-k) at age 3, the head teacher told me that I should put him there only on mornings, since I was at home. I answered that I would maybe be amenable... if he wasn't my fourth. She opened her mouth, closed it again, and that was that. On back to school day, that year, I came back home alone for the first time in 10 years, put on very loud music and DANCED.
Broadredpanda 1 year ago
You who are saying it's easy are f***ing AHs what is wrong with these trolls? There's no need EVER to put a SAHM down. You are all completely missing the point!! What he believes is right is NOT ok. Why attack someone who's trying to prove a point against a misogynistic sexist fool? You must have a fabulous life with your sexist husband. It's not her fault that her husband cherishes everything his wife does and appreciates EVERYTHING about her!!! I'm so sad for you!!! And btw to the person commenting "you have no idea, try to be a single parent" again that's not her problem, it's a YOU PROBLEM! I raised three daughters alone, and I'd NEVER feel this jealous because she's got a supportive partner. Nasty AF. You're all an embarrassment to women who are doing well and succeeding in their life, because you're obviously not! (Again I'm talking about those who criticised OP) good luck OP and your husband is a diamond and your brother is an AH!!
Penny Hernandez 1 year ago
I was an SAHM with 3 kids under 3 y/o and for 5 out of 7 days of the week my husband wasn't home. Whereas the joy I got from my kids was unsurpassed and I don't regret a minute of it, going back to work full time when my youngest was 3 seemed almost like a vacation.
Alexandra 1 year ago
Why don't mother's stop comparing themselves to each other? It's absolutely ludicrous to say that a single parent who's working full-time has it worse than a SAHM. For starters, no one is the same: some of us can organize/coordinate better than others. Also, how many children do you have? How big is your house? How are your financials? Do you have family/friends nearby? How's the cost of childcare? What's your own personality? Are your children fussy or more easy-going? In short, there are so many variables that you just can't say a SAHM has it better/worse than a single parent and/or single working parent.
Lyoness 1 year ago
Thank you for pointing out the variables that impact each person's experience. Saying it's easy or hard as a blanket statement doesn't make sense (at least to me).
Load More Replies... Melissa anderson 1 year ago
Toxic masculinity is a psychological disorder. And people like Andrew Tate are spreading this disease to the weak minded males who are insecure about their masculinity.
Shark Lady 1 year ago
There's always one that has to make tiredness into a competition, like the single parent in the comments. I'd like to think that the Andrew Tate, wannabe brother learnt his lesson, but that hope would be beyond foolishness.
Acruss 1 year ago
Tate and other gurus cult won't learn anything. That's like with flat earthers, you can prove to them milion times that they're wrong, but they will never change and/or admit to be wrong.
Load More Replies... LilliVB 1 year ago
While I agree that some people find being SAHP easy (and for some it can be), what baffles me is that some doesn't recognize it for what it is. A job. An unpaid one, but a job nonetheless. So for someone can be hard and overwhelming, for another it can be easy and fullfilling (like any other job on the planet), but it doesn't change the fact that it is a job. And it should be considered like one.
Jill Rhodry 1 year ago
Mothers don't 'die on the job' - I'm assuming this is in the US - there were 5,190 fatal work injuries occurred across all industries in the United States in 2021 - that same year, 4,970 DV deaths - that means being a female partner to man is the most dangerous occupation for any person by a phenomenal margin.
Annik Perrot 1 year ago
I was a SAHM for 4 kids, and I can tell you, it's no sinecure. Hubby was away from 7h30am to 7h30pm, so I did everything. Have you tried shopping for groceries with a toddler in the cart, and à baby in a stomach carrier? When my youngest entered maternelle (pre-k) at age 3, the head teacher told me that I should put him there only on mornings, since I was at home. I answered that I would maybe be amenable... if he wasn't my fourth. She opened her mouth, closed it again, and that was that. On back to school day, that year, I came back home alone for the first time in 10 years, put on very loud music and DANCED.
Broadredpanda 1 year ago
You who are saying it's easy are f***ing AHs what is wrong with these trolls? There's no need EVER to put a SAHM down. You are all completely missing the point!! What he believes is right is NOT ok. Why attack someone who's trying to prove a point against a misogynistic sexist fool? You must have a fabulous life with your sexist husband. It's not her fault that her husband cherishes everything his wife does and appreciates EVERYTHING about her!!! I'm so sad for you!!! And btw to the person commenting "you have no idea, try to be a single parent" again that's not her problem, it's a YOU PROBLEM! I raised three daughters alone, and I'd NEVER feel this jealous because she's got a supportive partner. Nasty AF. You're all an embarrassment to women who are doing well and succeeding in their life, because you're obviously not! (Again I'm talking about those who criticised OP) good luck OP and your husband is a diamond and your brother is an AH!!
Penny Hernandez 1 year ago
I was an SAHM with 3 kids under 3 y/o and for 5 out of 7 days of the week my husband wasn't home. Whereas the joy I got from my kids was unsurpassed and I don't regret a minute of it, going back to work full time when my youngest was 3 seemed almost like a vacation.
Alexandra 1 year ago
Why don't mother's stop comparing themselves to each other? It's absolutely ludicrous to say that a single parent who's working full-time has it worse than a SAHM. For starters, no one is the same: some of us can organize/coordinate better than others. Also, how many children do you have? How big is your house? How are your financials? Do you have family/friends nearby? How's the cost of childcare? What's your own personality? Are your children fussy or more easy-going? In short, there are so many variables that you just can't say a SAHM has it better/worse than a single parent and/or single working parent.
Lyoness 1 year ago
Thank you for pointing out the variables that impact each person's experience. Saying it's easy or hard as a blanket statement doesn't make sense (at least to me).
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