We all know first dates can be awkward… but what’s the fastest way to completely ruin one? You’ve got 60 seconds—what do you say to make it go downhill instantly?

#1

I've learned so much from Andrew Tate.

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KatSaidWhat
Community Member
11 months ago

Cannot upvote enough.

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    #2

    "Do you have a minute to talk about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?"

    Nope, I don't. My coven demands immediate attention 😂

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    Jason
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    Same thing with Mohammed?

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    #3

    If you hear a consistent beeping, don't worry, it's just my ankle monitor battery running low...

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    #4

    "So just you know, I have been drinking nothing but pineapple juice the whole week prior to this day."

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    WindySwede
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    huh?

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    #5

    Does this rag smell of chloroform?

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    Vermonta
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    go ahead, sniff it

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    #6

    May I introduce you to my mum? She's here, on the table next to us.... Hi Mom!

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    #7

    I have a great joke, you'll laugh so hard your t**s will fall off. Oh, I see you've already heard it

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    #8

    I think you're my new soulmate

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    Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
    Community Member
    Premium
    11 months ago

    I think you are my old soulmate returned from the dead, reincarnated after all these centuries.

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    #9

    *Keeps looking over dates shoulder*

    MOM! Slow down with the cue cards. You're flipping them too fast!

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    #10

    If I'm the one with the date:
    Do you believe in the flying spaghetti monster?

    If I'm a spectator:
    "Hey man, I thought you were dating Laura?"

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    Eppe
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    The right person will appreciate reference to the Flying Spagetti Monster

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    #11

    I’m a believer in our lord and saviour and the gospel.

    If we have Daughters I’d just like to point out I’m a big fan of the names Moab and Ammon for their kids!

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    Lee451 Henderson
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    If she is Jewish the names should be"Lilith and Shylock".

    #12

    Quick, get in the van!

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    Fred L.
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    The Mystery Machine?

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    #13

    Once again, I have to take my four exes to court over child support.

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    JK
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    You need to wrap that one up.

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    #14

    My mentor is looking for sharp, ambitious people to expand their e-commerce business.

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    #15

    I am such a nice guy, shall I impregnate you now or after dessert?

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    WindySwede
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    I think the answer to that is *desert*. (not spelling thing, but a reference to the dry place)

    Never miss a story that brings joy to the world. Add us on Google

    #16

    my last girlfriend had that dress and it looked much better on her .

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    LinkTheHylian
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    It's why we buried her in it.

    #17

    *starts rhyming violently*
    that's how I would ruin it

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    LinkTheHylian
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    Little Miss MUFFET sat on her TUFFET eating her curds and WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! *headbangs*

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    #18

    So I was checking out your Facebook and your daughter is hot! 9th grade now, right?... Ok. I grossed myself out.🤢🤮

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    #19

    MAGA

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    Jake
    Community Member
    11 months ago

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    #20

    "Wow, you look like you work out. Have you considered adding Herbalife to your regimen?" *starts taking bottles and pamphlets out of my purse*

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    #21

    Sorry , my ride's here (as uniformed police enter), can we try again in a year or two?

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    #22

    I'm a mum of five

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    LinkTheHylian
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    Five what?

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    #23

    "Oh, so it was a really photo of you!".

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    #24

    "Just to get it out of the way up front. The doctor says I'm responding well to treatment and I'm no longer contagious"

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    LinkTheHylian
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    Are you positive, though?

    #25

    I'm pregnant and you ARE the father.

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    #26

    So-are you a virgin? Do you have any scars? Great! I have a close group of friends who will LOVE meeting you!

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    #27

    Oh. My. Well, you just...you looked prettier in picture.

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    #28

    You are a daid ringer for my late husband!

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    #29

    If you like true crime, you'll love the rest of the evening!

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    Bored Birgit
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    Said the real serial killer.

    #30

    Have you seen "to catch a predator"? No? Oh, thank God.

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    #31

    Being unemployed for 5 years and living with my parents, doesn't mean I can't still find the love of my life!

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    #32

    Wow, I'm having such a great time! Do you think dinner will run past 9:30?

    If so, I need to call my mom to let her know I'll be late coming home.

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    #33

    I didn't ask you to pay my bill, I asked you to pay my bail.

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    #34

    "Excuse me, ma'am. Do you enjoy c*********s?".

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    Mike F
    Community Member
    11 months ago

    Cunni who?

    #35

    D@mn! You are thicker than a bowl of oatmeal!

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