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Hey Pandas, Which “Normal” Life Milestone Feels More Like A Trap Than An Achievement? (Closed)
We all grow up being told certain milestones are signs of success — buying a house, getting married, landing that “dream” job. But sometimes, they don’t feel like achievements at all… they feel like traps.So Pandas, what’s a “normal” life milestone that felt more like a burden than a win? Let’s talk about it.
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#1
Having kids. Have you spent any time with 5-9 year olds? They do not stop talking/moving/asking questions/trying to play in traffic/etc. I would lose my mind!
Politics, climate change, school shootings, deportations. That's not the world I want to bring children into. And 18 years? Yah nah, that's a lie. You're a parent for the rest of your life.
I like staying up late. I like sleeping in. I like money and freedom to do what I want when I want to. NO REGRETS!
Final score:
14points
AuspiciousTree283 5 months ago
I have met people who desperately want kids. This is less of a trap and more of a perspective, which is fine.
RELATED:
#2
Marriage. I don't hate it but/and I really need to not live under the same roof as a love interest. I used to tell my wusband (he was my husband... Not anymore) I wish we lived in a duplex at the very least. I got a lot of hate at 23 for that thought process. Now at 49 I still stand on it.
I got got once and refused to do it again. Overrated!
Final score:
8points
Blondie23 5 months ago
My uncle told everyone after his wife (my aunt) died that he would never remarry. He met a wonderful woman and she has her own house, he has his. They are committed but don't live together. It works for them. I applaud them for doing what works for them. For me... I can't live without my husband! He and I love being together. I think in 2025 you have to structure your relationship in a way that works for you and the person you are with. Screw social norms and do what works!
#3
Adulthood
As a kid u get to play 24/7 and any mistake u make (not any but most) gets forgiven on the basis of "your just a kid".
Once u hit adulthood it feels like everyones out to get u, why dont u have a job yet? Why dont u have a house? Why arent u dating? One screw up and your sued out of house and home.
Sometimes i just wanna go back to being 17...
Final score:
7points
Earonn - 4 months ago
But as an adult I can make my own decisions. I can (more or less) do what I want. Erich Fromm wrote a book "The Fear of Freedom", and it seems to apply here perfectly. People want to be children because boohoo, responsibility!
Do-nut touch da donut (Submission author) 4 months ago
Huh? Look mate im not saying i hate being 18 or the responsibility with it, im saying i hate how people treat adults, especially when theyve just been thrusted into a position they werent prepared for... yes i can make my own descisions but the world expects you to make the "right" decision, and who knows whats the right decision?
Load More Replies...
Do-nut touch da donut (Submission author) 4 months ago
I was in highschool, and my school sucks at preparing u for life...
Load More Replies...
Rick Murray 5 months ago
Don't get sued as where I live isn't litigation mad, but otherwise yeah, pass an arbitrary age and suddenly responsibility lands squarely on your head and you're supposed to have all your sh*t together and... wait, what? So why the hell were they wasting so much bloody time with the periodic table and plane geometry instead of *useful* stuff like citizen's rights, managing money, acceptable ways to tell your boss he's a béllend without actually saying that....?
Do-nut touch da donut (Submission author) 5 months ago
Frrr, i had one class that had anythin to do with adulting. All the rest was useless history that ive heard every year for my whole life, and poems?! Where on earth am i going to need to know what a haiku is that i cant just figure it out then and there?!
Load More Replies... #4
My job. I'm incredibly fortunate because I make good money, it's quite close to home and the job is quite relaxed. But, if anything were possible, I'd quit in a heartbeat to become a full-time author. Not only because it's my passion, but the daily grind of sleep-work-rinse-repeat is chipping away at my sanity. I'm the breadwinner so quitting for the sake of writing isn't an option, so I'm now doing it as a hobby.
Final score:
6points
#5
Getting your first period. Everything just seem to go downhill from then on.
Final score:
6points
#6
Buying a home. It's great at first, you are investing in your future. Then the first major expense hits, and you realize that you can't just call the landlord and have it fixed. You have to pay for it yourself. After that you understand that home ownership is way more expensive than just the monthly mortgage payments.
Final score:
5points
#7
Gaining prestige. If you are reaching your goal for the sake of affirmation, you will be in for a rude awakening once you finish. It's nice to graduate, but not when you are seeking validation. Know why you are taking your education in the first place.
This also applies to the workplace. Got promoted? Nice. You get a pat on the back. Now, get back to work. Again, it might be something to celebrate about, but if you did it for validation but cannot handle the responsibility, that will get you in trouble.
Final score:
4points
#8
Marriage. It's so rarely an equal partnership, and so often only benefits one spouse - usually the male or dominant spouse. There are a very few marriages where each partner supports the dreams, aspirations, achievements etc of the other but ... mostly it's a trap, a cage for one of the spouses, usually the woman.
Final score:
3points
#9
Being born.
Final score:
3points
#10
Getting your driver's license.
Final score:
0points
#11
Getting your first adult job. You go from "cool, I am now a man of independent means" to "c**p, I gotta keep doing this cr*p for the next 50 yrs!?"
Final score:
-1point
#12
Career advancement. So you get promoted. Yay! Until you fully appreciate that the extra salary comes with the expectation that you'll spend even more time in meetings, even more time at work, maybe working on work at home when you should be resting and getting stressed because if other people screw up it lands on your head.
Final score:
-1point
What do you think ?
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