Life doesn’t always go according to plan, but sometimes our biggest mistakes end up teaching us the most. Pandas, what’s a moment you thought was a failure at the time but actually helped you grow?

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#1

Getting into serious trouble at age 30 and spending about a year locked up in a few different facilities.
I had a psychotic episode that I was trying to numb with d***s and alcoholic to the point where I blacked out and committed some pretty serious crimes. It was the first time I'd been in trouble other than a DUI and getting caught with pot at a much younger age.
Because of this episode, even though there are people who will never talk to me again, I was able to finally get the help I needed and was properly diagnosed.
These were some of the darkest times I've ever lived, but I wouldn't change a thing.

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User avatar Charles McChristy
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    #2

    NOT moving out at age 18, even though my dad had a horrible accident on Thanksgiving Day of that year and had sustained catastrophic brain damage.

    My mom has been ábusive to me (in literally every way) since my earliest childhood, so I'd been planning on GTFOing my house as soon as I was legally able to do so. Was still finalizing plans and getting my stuff together when my dad's accident happened.

    He was in a coma for 6 months and I was still working at the family business at that time, so I sort of just lived in a daze for that half-year. Then, when he semi-woke up from the coma (semi/near-vegetative state - some days he was more aware than others) my mom decided she wasn't going to put him in a facility, but instead she was going to bring him home and take care of him at home.

    I ended up being a caregiver for the next 21 years and changing my dad's diapers, cleaning and replacing his feeding tube, suctioning his mucus from his trach hole, cleaning him up when he wet the bed (because adult diapers kinda suck.)

    Destroyed my entire young adulthood - no friends, no vacations, minimal socialization, stagnation in my relationship with my boyfriend (I felt like I couldn't move out/get married/abandon my dad at that point.)

    However, I was the only member of my family who stayed at my dad's bedside the night he died. My mom and sister both said they "couldn't handle it" and bailed, leaving me there alone. We all knew he would die that night. (My BF stayed with me.) I held his hand (BF held his other hand) for over 12 hours until he finally died.

    And because of this, I learned that regret is worse than grief. The teeth of grief will blunt over time; grief will eventually hurt less. Regret hurts forever.

    I learned that I actually do not *regret* taking care of my dad for 21 years. I WOULD have regretted not being there the night he died.

    I went and picked up his ashes alone too. It's been four years since he died. My mom still won't let me post about his death online because she "doesn't want people to know" he died.

    Guess which one of us probably has more regrets in our life?

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    User avatar LakotaWolf (she/her)
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    #3

    Lakota, this not to you, I appreciate your experienced responses and wild life education you bring.

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    User avatar Jimmer
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    #4

    Not needing to post on Every. Thread. Especially the ones involving felines. There is one here who has to be the first to post "beautiful" "snuggly" and all that I wish she would stop and let the rest of us enjoy the threads. I just vote up and keep going.

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    User avatar Jimmer
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    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium     1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, I am SO sorry that someone's positive comments on posts about cats is affecting your mental health so very much! I shall go spank both Beth and Multa immediately!! As a completely unrelated aside, I noticed that you posted 31 comments on the recent feline-related post "50 Times Pet Names Were So Good They Deserved An Award." Totally not the same thing though, yes?

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