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What was the hardest decision you had to make in your life?
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#1
Not killing myself
Final score:
47points
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
For me, the samne.... only not trying *again*. I promised II wouldn't. I haven't. It's not as easy as it seems.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Thank GOD you are still with us. I love you - and I hope you know that. Hugs Leo.
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DoNotGoGentleIntoThatGoodNight 3 years ago
Someone got there before me...upvote. And sending a virtual hug x
Lil Potato 3 years ago
You got this!!! I am so glad you are still here with us, you can do this! You are wonderful, and strong, and you deserve this life!
Crunchy Swiffer Wetjet 3 years ago
A difficult choice indeed, but the right choice. We're glad you're here :)
CMKL 3 years ago
Of course you can! Believe in yourself and if you need some extra assurance send me a message thru bored panda! ❤🐾🐾💖
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RELATED:
#2
Not losing it in the last hours of my husbands life. I wanted him to go in peace.
Final score:
36points
Caro Caro (Submission author) 3 years ago
Thanks Leo. Don't worry, I wasn't alone. My brother and mum were with me. Still hurts tho.
Load More Replies... Katy McMouse 3 years ago
I'm sorry, Caro. He must have been an amazing man - I can't imagine you with anyone who wasn't.
Caro Caro (Submission author) 3 years ago
He was very kind. The type that radiates calm, you know what I mean. It feels like an amputation when you lose someone you've been with for 35 years.
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#3
to leave my marriage of 32 years because i still loved my husband but realized that i didn't want to deal with his issues anymore. it was particularly hard because i have a chronic debilitating disabling condition. there were people who thought i was crazy for the decision because they all felt that i "needed" him because of my health issues....how could i live without his support? but, i left and now, 10 yrs later am doing great. i mourned my marriage and it took several years to move to a better place. but, the reality is that while my disability has progressed other areas of my well being have gotten much better. a shout out to my dad who listened to me for five years, basically expressing how i still cared for my husband but knew it was toxic. and to my son who kept his opinions about his dad to himself. looking back, i think my dad and my son's silent support gave me the strength to make a decision was hard but necessary because they believed in my abilities. now, i sometimes wonder why i waited so long to leave and then come to the realization i needed to know i was worth more than what he saw - a person living with a degenerative disease who needed him rather than a person who was surviving a degenerative disease that wanted to continue to share a life. all in all, i think he was the one that developed a disability because he is still trapped by his own issues.
Final score:
26points
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Patti, you are a very brave woman. I'm glad to read you are ok and I'm sorry to hear you have a degenerative disease. Hugs.
Patti Vance (Submission author) 3 years ago
thanks! yeah, the disease sucks because there is nothing other than just trying to keep me comfortable that the drs can do. and, yes, i allow myself no more than two pity party days a year because it took me a long time to realize that yes...damn it! i do have the right to get angry about it. best advise after diagnosed from dr was to beware of the disability personality which is when a person lets it consume them and then becomes negative & nasty towards others or become self destructive. so, i go with the flow and enjoy the good days and just get through the bad ones. life is good. also, dogs and cookies help
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
@Patti, you speak for so many ----- and are incredibly courageous. High five to you!
Jodie daubenmire 3 years ago
You may be one of the bravest people alive. You should write a book. Other person's could learn so much from you. Take care.
Patti Vance (Submission author) 3 years ago
a book on my life would read like a gothic novel. sometimes i have sat back and realized that for all that my life has looked conventional i have had some amazing experiences. great joy and great tragedy. but, isn't that the essence of life? to have these experiences and strive to have a good take on what they were and what you have learned. sometimes i have questioned why i am still here and then i realize that maybe it isn't about why i am here for my purpose but perhaps it is for other people. you know, kind of like the butterfly effect where you will never know what the result of your actions.
Load More Replies... #4
Carry on drinking and dying or stop drinking and have a chance of living longer. Every day is a struggle, physically and mentally. Early days, two month’ish sober. Anyway, I can’t die, my wife wouldn’t have a clue how to deal with the finances.
Final score:
24points
Ent Hugger 3 years ago
you got this steve!!! i'm coming up on 12 years clean which is a total miracle, didn't think i'd make it 12 days... but it does get easier! hang in there, love to you and the missus <3
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Good for you :-) My mom's made 33 years now. Every once in a while we think, "Wow, this started with 33 hours..." And taht's how she did it.
Jodie daubenmire 3 years ago
7 months and 21 days for me. I would say it gets easier, but I am living an honest recovery. But, it's worth it.
OhNoAO 3 years ago
There's so many dark and scary hidden layers in your "carry on drinking and drying" statement that you should thank God you've never had to experience. Nine years ago my body was literally shutting down on me because of my addiction to alcohol. The last time I drank I had already decided to quit mentally, but nothing could've prepared me for the physical aspects of what that meant. I spent 36 hours alone with insomnia, my blood pressure was 187/117, heart rate over 130, I physically couldn't eat, nothing would pass my lips. I had zero energy and had to crawl to get around the 3 story duplex I lived in, I lost 14 pounds in 7 days, I was having visual and audible hallucinations of some song I've never heard before about dying young. All I could do was lay there and I thought for sure if I fell asleep I wouldn't wake up. My son was 12 at that time and luckily at dad's for the weekend and his gf drove me to the hospital. Scary stuff!! Keep it up, don't give in and get help! Proud of you 👍
#5
Deciding to come out. Also deciding whom to come out to.
Final score:
23points
Penny Tent (she/her) (Submission author) 3 years ago
I hope you find the courage (so long as they don’t literally attack you) you won’t regret it. (Even then if/when you survive you know you don’t deserve them nor them you, so hopefully if that happens you can overcome it)
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Veru Jaros 3 years ago
Same, because everyone I know are homophobes who would just kill me if I did come out
#6
Divorce. Even though he did not cheat did not hit. People deserve to be happy. Divorce so that you can stop making each other smaller is a hard but good choice.
Final score:
20points
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
Came here to post this comment as well. It's not as easy as it looks, not at all.
Monica Michelle (Submission author) 3 years ago
Thank you. It was a massive rift in my family and it was the first time I stood up for my self. Worked out he and I are both remarried to the people we should be and his new wife and I are friends
#7
Leaving the Royal Navy, where I was training to be a pilot, because of panic attacks. This was in the early 1960s and I still have anxiety attacks. I had wanted to be a navy pilot since I was five yeas old!
Final score:
19points
#8
To stop being guilty about my cat dying without me being there. It was so hard when he was taken to a hospital and died in my dad's arms while I was at a birthday party. He was there for me every day for 2 years, (he died at 4 because of a urinary problem) and I wasn't there when he needed it the most. It still haunts me everyday, and it happened two years ago.
Final score:
17points
thatonelesbiangorwl 3 years ago
aww hugs for u marcyyy i lost my kitten at 6 months due to a rare disease only two cats in the world had so if its any consilation i probably dont know how ur feeling but i triggered my kittens death with a chip.
Marcy Wu (Submission author) 3 years ago
That is really upsetting. I am feeling bad, but I don't want to imagine the pain you must have felt for that loss. I hope you are doing better about it and wish you the best of days!
Load More Replies... Marcy Wu (Submission author) 3 years ago
Thank you all so much!! I'm doing better, but cry about him sometimes at night. I painted a picture in his memoriam, so I smile when I see it! I am also so sorry for all of y'all's losses and I'm sending you hugs!
Ría ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ she/her 3 years ago
In my case was not having the money to get him treated, although what he had wasn't curable he could've lived with medication. It's been two years+ and I still cry about him but at least he's no longer suffering. Sorry for your loss🙏
CMKL 3 years ago
I'm so sorry, that stinks. I lost my dog 16 years ago a week before Christmas, she was 8 yrs old, she died in my arms regaining consciousness to kiss me on the nose and slip away, forever. I'm grateful that she didn't suffer and went quickly. Unfortunately for me Christmas has never been the same as all I can think of her dying.
#9
To finally leave my husband of 22 years earlier this year. He hid an oxycontin and fentanyl addiction for 2 years. He eventually moved onto cocaine because, "Cocaine is better than oxy and fentanyl, it's not a real drug" He was selling coke, pills, and weed, shrooms and whatever else he could get his hands on and wouldn't get a real job. I walked out the door when he said he had no desire to stop using and get a job. He used to never use drugs and just five years ago made 6 figures. He chose to be a 43 year old junkie over his wife and best friend. I miss him every day but I have a new life and I'm happy.
Final score:
16points
MarcyParlomerNerdGirlsRock 3 years ago
That sounded traumatizing… hope you are doing great now :)
#10
My PTSD led to depression and suicidal thoughts, glad i didn't kill myself though
Final score:
15points
Yunjin A.K.A Panicattack queen (Submission author) 3 years ago
oh thank you
Load More Replies... #11
To not reveal my intelligence.
Final score:
13points
OneLoneWolf 3 years ago
i understand becuz i always felt left out becuz i was smarter than others.
Mauve Mouse 3 years ago
If you are female, it makes it much, much more difficult to find a mate, bc men are so threatened by us.
333 3 years ago
Màybe because you refer to them as potential mates? I prefer someone (prospective mates, in your vernacular) who can actually hold their own in conversation, and know many others who do, as well.
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CHARLIE R 3 years ago
Sometimes people get bullied because they are smart
Load More Replies... #12
Letting my daughter walk away after her husband made her chose between him or me. She chose him because she never wanted to get divorced (like me). That was 15 years ago. Unfortunately, I recently found out that he cheated on her and they are getting divorced. I am hoping that she knocks on my door as I would never force myself on her.
Final score:
13points
Vixxxen Foxxx 3 years ago
Coming from someone who made the very mistake your daughter did, I wasted so much time wishing my mom would reach out. I was scared and too ashamed to contact her. A simple reminder that you'll always be there for her might be something she's been needing. At least let her know her stupid choice isn't permanent in your eyes. If possible just send her a small reminder. I wasted my opponent and my mom passed. Don't take time for granted. A reminder isn't forcing yourself on her.
#13
Choosing to continue to look for help. I went though a rather tough time over the past few years and I got suicidally depressed. And I did have two attempts that failed. After the last one I got found out and was confronted by my family and it was then I decided that I could either start looking for help or continue to spiral down alone until something did finally happen. So I started searching, found local help groups and talk groups online and went to a few with minimal effect. Eventually I got hold of some numbers for therapists and they all refused me. Either because they outright said they didn't believe me or because they didn't do as many sessions as I needed. It got to a point where I was calling numbers for help and expecting them to turn me away and I lost hope for them. So after a few weeks I faced the same choice. Continue to look for help or spiral back down to where I started until something eventually happens. I chose to continue to look for help and I did eventually get a single meeting with someone a year later as an introduction session to decide whether or not they can refer me to an actual therapist. And at that point I finally felt like something actually got moving and that change was going to happen. I've now got more hobbies, got new friends to talk to and confide in and I've just found a way to improve my living situation. Things I wouldn't have if I just continued to sit there and do nothing
Final score:
12points
Taylor Keane 3 years ago
These threads are too important to miss. Please use paragraphs so people will read them.
ace lesbian demigirl(she/they) 3 years ago
What therapists refuse people who need help? Isn't that what they're there for? Helping people?
FeelingFrisky 3 years ago
I've been refused over and over bc no one will accept my insurance and I can't afford it otherwise. I'm about to shut my s**t show life down.
Load More Replies... #14
The absolute hardest thing was to take my 16 years old be to be put down. I've always wondered what made someone make that decision. Mostly the answer was that "you just know" my guy at 16 was deaf, and then blind. He had his routine of going outside checking on the perimeter of the yard on his own. He still are fine sorry in his bed and seemed quite content. Then my brother started construction all around me as I lived in a room of of Dad's workshop in the back. Jackhammer and bulldozer right outside my door. I had to carry him out to the sidewalk to get on sinus ground again and take him out to go potty. I had decide that if he reached a point where he couldn't do and would end up getting lost inside and end up standing in a corner. My gut was telling me he was not happy, not or content anymo. Hhis whole world was turned upside down.wasn't until he started pee blood and i was going to take him in to see the vet. It was at that point I made the decision. He was my lost little boy.. It was a sudden decision; not something I had been thinking about for any time. I realized that would be me just I wanted to have him with me for just one last night. But that would selfish of me to put him thru one more night of pain confusion. He had his head out the window on the car, enjoing the wind blowing on his face. At the vet, he did his automatic sit for the treat from the vet when she came in. Then I say on the floor holding him close as he got the first shot that was to sedate him util the second shot took effect.. he had no fear or anxiety, just peacefully drifted off to sleep until.l he was gone. I'm happy that his last moments were of feeling loved just knowing he was was safe and wrapped up in love.. I sobbed so much still lying on the floor holding him so tightly unill my friend took me out of the room. That was the hardest thing I've ever experienced in my life. Even worse than loosing mom or my dad. Reliving it here .I've never let myself think about it at all. For ten years 10 years. Time had not healed this pain. This Christmas day will be one year since my most recent litte baby girl Chloe died on Christmas day. I don't know if posting about this was a good idea or not But something made me answer this question
Final score:
12points
Gareth Baus 3 years ago
Please specify the species, that first line was a little disturbing until you mentioned all the signs of old age.
Annie Borad (Submission author) 3 years ago
Thanks,. these comments of support actually help
Load More Replies... Caro Caro 3 years ago
Annie, I really feel your pain. I'm so sorry this happened. The "something" that made you answer the question is this: You needed to get it out in the open. They say time is a healer and it's true. You just can't tell how long it will take. For some it's a year, for others it's 10 years or longer. I hope that, when you feel sad, you remember how much love there was and you did the hardest thing in the world: putting down your pet because it was in pain. Hugs and I hope you have a lovely Christmas.
Annie Borad (Submission author) 3 years ago
Thank you so much. I hope you too have a great Christmas. This will be a hard one for me. My dog Chloe died on Christmas. It was very unexpected. Hopefully at some point I will be able to let that go as well
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Jackie Lulu 3 years ago
The hardest thing to do in this is let go, whether it's your parent, your dog, a marriage. 2 months ago our 18 yr old cat, and my best friend beautiful dog both needed us to make that decision for them. Can't tell you how hard that is, but we knew it was right. My dog's ashes and paw print are in the closet and I still can't get myself to even open the bag.
Autistic Ladybug 3 years ago
I nearly cried reading this. i am so sorry. We had to put our black cat Baci down after the left side of his body shut down. Limping, drooling, couldn't get up and then vomiting and so on. We cried for a whole day and the next day i could barely bring myself to go to school. I was only 7 or less, so i was even more upset. i still think about him often and its been a lot of years since, but this post brought up a lot of feelings and tears. On your side, always. RIP Baci, best cat ever.
Annie Borad (Submission author) 3 years ago
Thank you. He was the only dog I had to do that, 2 of my other babies just died,an Dr one got hit by a care. It was the first time someone left the gate open and he got out and then he got hit by the car.he was the first I never get over the losses but I can't imagine not having one. I handle it by not letting myself think about them... "No sad thoughts, no sad thoughts"
Load More Replies... #15
Moving across the country to live with my boyfriend and away from my homophobic father.
Final score:
11points
OhNoAO 3 years ago
People are only phobic about things they don't understand. People don't understand things because they were never educated properly. Don't hold it against your father forever for not knowing any better. Running away instead of educating him makes you just as guilty for his ignorance. Be the change you wish to see in this world then if they choose not to change it's on them not you.
Jodie daubenmire 3 years ago
Woo Hoo... I hope you are very happy. And I hope your father some how is educated on unconditional love 💕.
#16
being myself in a really tough fam
Final score:
11points
#17
At 27 I was diagnosed with cancer in my uterus and told that I needed a hysterectomy. Our daughter was 7 and our son 5. The Dr. asked if we were through having kids because post-op there was no going back. He said they caught it very early. He said if we wanted to try for one last kid to get pregnant as fast as we could and he would monitor me super closely. He said that there was a chance that if the cancer got busy he would have to abort to save my life. We talked it over and decided we wouldn't want to take the chance of absolutely losing a baby at 50/50 odds because cancer isn't predictable. That one was pretty hard. But I've got two great kids I wouldn't trade for gold.
Final score:
10points
#18
Moving my first wife to "comfort measures only". It was all the worse because our marriage was hitting some rough spots that would have (had she recovered) lead us at least to counselling or (more likely) to divorce court.
Final score:
10points
Jodie daubenmire 3 years ago
You could have refused comfort measures. Believe it or not, some family members feel drugging a dying person is against God's plan. You did the right thing, there was love in that choice, even if you didn't feel it.
Caro Caro 3 years ago (edited)
When someone is very very ill (like cancer) and there is no cure - nothing more the dr's can do then the patient enters palliative care and all you can do is make sure they are comfortable and without pain. It sucks to watch a loved one go through this but you really have no option..
Load More Replies... #19
Getting past being an alcoholic and nearly killing myself on multiple occasions
Final score:
10points
#20
I didn’t think that this could even happen, but I guess it can. I once had feelings for three men at once. I eventually forced myself to choose one of them.
Final score:
8points
Veru Jaros 3 years ago
I am so lonely that I catch feelings for almost everyone and then feel guilt because of it
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Come to us on BP for a chat and a laugh whenever you want. Always welcome :)
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#21
Getting grief Counceling after my mom died. Now I can cope in a healthy way.
Final score:
7points
OhNoAO 3 years ago
Grief and rejection (broken heart, being ignored, getting ghosted or dumped, not being included in some way) are the hardest emotions to deal with because of where they are processed in our brains. It's the same region our fight or flight response comes from, which takes a physical toll on our bodies by activating our adrenaline (increased heart rate, tense muscles, elevated hormone secretion, all things you need in order to run and escape danger) our brains can't tell the difference between emotional and physical pain, which is why losing someone we love physically hurts so bad. I'm glad you got help to teach you how to cope and your Mama would be glad her having to go with God isn't going to hurt you forever. Till you meet again ✌🏻
Clappertonian Delight 3 years ago
That must be why after my dad passed, I felt like I was hit by a truck. On top of the mental grief, the physical grief is real. I didn't realize it at the time that was why.
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What do you think ?
Adam Gregory 3 years ago
Leaving a high demand religion, and then telling my family (all of who are still 100% in). They think much less of me, but I can't live a lie for them.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
I think much more of you for doing this. You are very brave.
Load More Replies... Nichole Harris 3 years ago
Leaving a 13 year relationship (half my life then) with a man I loved more than anything because I woke up one day and realized that he didn't love me anymore if he ever had ..I was only a commodity
Caro Caro 3 years ago
That sucks. Have you found happiness now? You ok? Hugs Nichole.
Load More Replies... CHARLIE R 3 years ago
Coming out to my friends and only having 2 left (the ones who were dating) ( one was trans & gay and the other was gay) and those are my only friends to this day
Caro Caro 3 years ago
2 GOOD friends!!! Some don't even have one friend. Be yourself, be happy :)
Load More Replies... Looks like an Angel 3 years ago (edited)
Getting diagnosed with reproductive cancer and having the option to do treatment (which meant medication, pain, and being sick, tired and miserable every day,) or I could do radiation to shrink the growth and then have a hysterectomy to have all of the cancer removed. I was 26, wanted children more than anything in the entire world....but I chose my health and happiness and had the hysterectomy. The following year of therapy helped me come to terms with the decision.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Tough decision to make. I'm glad your still here with us.
Load More Replies... DS Mom 3 years ago
Telling my mom about the sexual and physical abuse my birth father did to me since I was a toddler.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
OMG. That must have been traumatic and I'm so sorry this happened to you. Have you received therapy? You ok now? We are here for you if you want to talk. Hugs DS Mom.
Load More Replies... Helena 3 years ago
Mom died when I was 18 and my sister was 15. When we were in the hospital, before the helicopter ride to another hospital, we were told she was absolutely mauled. She had been hit by a very very large truck. She was nowhere near conscious. They asked if we wanted to see her before the helicopter ride. I thought about it, and told them no. I didn't want that image in my 15 year old sisters head. I knew the possibility existed that mom would die, and I didn't want the last image in my sister ( or mine as well) of mom to be of her looking all mangled. Mom was a force of nature. She should get to live in our memories as that strong force of nature. She never regained consciousness. Mom died mid-flight. I'm still not positive I made the right choice. I still don't think mom would've wanted us traumatized seeing her in that state. Whenever we went to a funeral she steered us away from the corpse on the reasoning she didn't want that to be how we thought of the deceased.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss. You did the right thing, remember your mum the way she was - keeping her in your heart with love and joy. Hugs Helena.
Load More Replies... CMKL 3 years ago (edited)
Accepting the fact that my biological father didn't want me, (I knew this when I was young 8-10ish), not even in death. I hadn't spoken to him in 30 or so years, before that it was more like listening to his racist comments about me when we just happened to cross paths. He recently died, my brothers (I have 7), wanted me to go see him, I didn't want to, apparently he didn't want me there either, he told them so. When he died he had it written that I was not welcome at his funeral, (good for me I didn't want to be there)! My brothers FINALLY realized that he really did hate me. I didn't go, unfortunately his obituary has it written that he was a loving father who loved spending time with his children & grandchildren! I was written in as were my 3 kids that he never even met😠Unfortunately, anyone who was there knows I wasn't & it started all over again! Its a never ending vicious cycle.
DS Mom 3 years ago
I'm so sorry CMKL. Some men should never become fathers. ❤️
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 3 years ago (edited)
Realisng your partner never loved you, or did "as a friend", and that the kids were the only reason to stay together... and that it was either kids seeing daily fights and having both parents OR choosing my own happiness over fear of being alone and not having someone to fall back on. Basically the story of 50% of relationships (google divorce stats if you doubt me). They should teach you this in school. Or we should just stop this marriage thing, it doesn't work very well.
mandy the capibara 3 years ago
Best of luck to you! That sounds like a tough but brave decision.
Load More Replies... Adam Gregory 3 years ago
Leaving a high demand religion, and then telling my family (all of who are still 100% in). They think much less of me, but I can't live a lie for them.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
I think much more of you for doing this. You are very brave.
Load More Replies... Nichole Harris 3 years ago
Leaving a 13 year relationship (half my life then) with a man I loved more than anything because I woke up one day and realized that he didn't love me anymore if he ever had ..I was only a commodity
Caro Caro 3 years ago
That sucks. Have you found happiness now? You ok? Hugs Nichole.
Load More Replies... CHARLIE R 3 years ago
Coming out to my friends and only having 2 left (the ones who were dating) ( one was trans & gay and the other was gay) and those are my only friends to this day
Caro Caro 3 years ago
2 GOOD friends!!! Some don't even have one friend. Be yourself, be happy :)
Load More Replies... Looks like an Angel 3 years ago (edited)
Getting diagnosed with reproductive cancer and having the option to do treatment (which meant medication, pain, and being sick, tired and miserable every day,) or I could do radiation to shrink the growth and then have a hysterectomy to have all of the cancer removed. I was 26, wanted children more than anything in the entire world....but I chose my health and happiness and had the hysterectomy. The following year of therapy helped me come to terms with the decision.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Tough decision to make. I'm glad your still here with us.
Load More Replies... DS Mom 3 years ago
Telling my mom about the sexual and physical abuse my birth father did to me since I was a toddler.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
OMG. That must have been traumatic and I'm so sorry this happened to you. Have you received therapy? You ok now? We are here for you if you want to talk. Hugs DS Mom.
Load More Replies... Helena 3 years ago
Mom died when I was 18 and my sister was 15. When we were in the hospital, before the helicopter ride to another hospital, we were told she was absolutely mauled. She had been hit by a very very large truck. She was nowhere near conscious. They asked if we wanted to see her before the helicopter ride. I thought about it, and told them no. I didn't want that image in my 15 year old sisters head. I knew the possibility existed that mom would die, and I didn't want the last image in my sister ( or mine as well) of mom to be of her looking all mangled. Mom was a force of nature. She should get to live in our memories as that strong force of nature. She never regained consciousness. Mom died mid-flight. I'm still not positive I made the right choice. I still don't think mom would've wanted us traumatized seeing her in that state. Whenever we went to a funeral she steered us away from the corpse on the reasoning she didn't want that to be how we thought of the deceased.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
I'm sorry for your loss. You did the right thing, remember your mum the way she was - keeping her in your heart with love and joy. Hugs Helena.
Load More Replies... CMKL 3 years ago (edited)
Accepting the fact that my biological father didn't want me, (I knew this when I was young 8-10ish), not even in death. I hadn't spoken to him in 30 or so years, before that it was more like listening to his racist comments about me when we just happened to cross paths. He recently died, my brothers (I have 7), wanted me to go see him, I didn't want to, apparently he didn't want me there either, he told them so. When he died he had it written that I was not welcome at his funeral, (good for me I didn't want to be there)! My brothers FINALLY realized that he really did hate me. I didn't go, unfortunately his obituary has it written that he was a loving father who loved spending time with his children & grandchildren! I was written in as were my 3 kids that he never even met😠Unfortunately, anyone who was there knows I wasn't & it started all over again! Its a never ending vicious cycle.
DS Mom 3 years ago
I'm so sorry CMKL. Some men should never become fathers. ❤️
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 3 years ago (edited)
Realisng your partner never loved you, or did "as a friend", and that the kids were the only reason to stay together... and that it was either kids seeing daily fights and having both parents OR choosing my own happiness over fear of being alone and not having someone to fall back on. Basically the story of 50% of relationships (google divorce stats if you doubt me). They should teach you this in school. Or we should just stop this marriage thing, it doesn't work very well.
mandy the capibara 3 years ago
Best of luck to you! That sounds like a tough but brave decision.
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