Some irrational fear you have, something that keeps you up at night, something terrible that might happen, and more! Trust me, not much is weird to me.
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-That my dad's accident was my fault
-That I will have to endure my current relationship situation for the rest of my life and swallow endless amounts of degradation and belittling.
-That I will backslide right back into substance abuse again (drugs) because they were the only thing that stopped all the bad thoughts... I've been clean since last October, but I am so very, very tired of myself and my thoughts.
-That I will never have friends ever again, because ever since I lost my job, I don't see or talk to ANY other people besides my boyfriend and my mother and sister. That's how my life was for 20 years and it was AWFUL. I don't want it to be this way any more. I had friends for two and a half years and it was awesome. I don't think I'd be allowed to keep in touch with them again now.
Right now, life is like it was back in the early 2010s when I was REALLY close to losing my grip on myself and unaliving myself. There are really only three things that are different now, and two are negatives: my dad died in 2021, I actually experienced actual affection/passion/love (and promptly lost it), and I now have three pets who depend on me (I only had my cat Wintressia back then.) That last fact will hopefully outweigh all of the negatives.
Hopefully.
I’m so sorry about this Lakota, I hope you can get through this :)
-my parents finding my bp account
-going insane
-falling into a endless dark hole
-suffocating
My parents are pretty decent human beings and I love them so much but I’m gay and I don’t think they’ll care about me anymore once I tell them. I keep thinking of when I was really little and my mom and I were inseparable all the time. My mom brought my brother and I on a little day trip yesterday and it f****d with my mind because sometimes my parents suck and other times we go on adventures and have a ton of fun and my mom gets a chance to be off work. Idk, maybe I’m just dumb and they won’t care, but my brother randomly said this morning without being provoked, “Governor [redacted] is amazing”.
I can’t say his name because they just passed a law saying you can’t post about him without getting approval.
Also my parents frequently make political comments whenever they see somebody who doesn’t fit their definition of “normal”. Like it was fun yesterday, but my mom called some guy an “illegal Mexican” even though he obviously was not illegal or Mexican. And I guess it’s fine to call somebody a nationality but for anyone who doesn’t know, Mexican is kind of an insult here because most people speaking Spanish are either Cuban or Puerto Rican, or just from the Caribbean. Welcome to Florida bitches
Mushrooms
-losing more people I care about
-ending up alone
-dying
-living
-my extended family finding out about the rainbow mess that I am
-my extended family in general(minus a few cousins)
-getting cast aside again
-getting made fun of again
-spiders
- any water deeper that 5ft
-the unknown/being unprepared
-the dark and everything in it
Oh and I forgot to add I'm terrified of loud noises
Still a bit scared of Herobrine, even though he's fake...right?
Also being forgotten
Being hated by everyone or being alone.
The dark/things in the dark.
Dying of burning, drowning, suffocating, and being buried alive.
My parents taking away bp.
Losing people I care about(yes that includes you guys)
War
- losing those I love
- dying alone/my friends not knowing I've died
- being found out (my social medias are not supposed to exist)
- being seen as weak
- losing any of my "main" senses
- anything that triggers my sensory issues
- my family
- always being insecure about myself
