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As most of you probably know, it’s not good to bottle things up. If you need a place to rant, then this post is probably the right place for you to let loose and share your troubles with the community (please keep it PG)! I can’t say I can help you, but I will listen.
Share your worries with us below and don't forget to upvote your favorite answers. We are here to rant away and listen to each other!
Also, please be respectful and nice to each other, you never know what a person could be going through! So let's keep our replies positive and supportive as much as possible.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I don’t know how to tell my husband how bad things really are with my depression. On average I have been showering once a week, brushing my hair only when I have to go out but if it doesn’t look messy then I wont worry about brushing it at all. I brush my teeth probably twice a week and gargle mouthwash twice a week, I spend most of my days in bed and am tired ALL THE TIME, I am (trying to) nap more, I just want days to be over so I can just sleep but then I struggle to sleep coz of my RLS and insomnia and I can’t stop thinking out how much I want to change and get pissed at myself for wasting another day but then I do the same thing the next day. I am finding it harder to find joy in the things I usually love and one of them is music. I am not dancing to music as much as I used to, I seem to tune it out more. I am in chronic pain every damn day, partly because of a deformity and partly because of my weight. My weight causes more pain on my hips, my knees and my feet. I have plantar fasciitis and heel spurs, I have just recently recovered from a cuboid displacement. All these issues effect my mobility coz of the absolute pain. I want to lose weight but I have been diagnosed with Obsessive compulsive eating disorder. All I think about is food even though I feel nauseous from the idea of eating or from overeating. I will be eating my lunch and all I can think of is my next meal. I feel absolutely DISGUSTED in myself and beat myself up pretty much every night. But for some stupid reason my brain doesn’t think about ANY iota of that the next day and I just carry on like every other day. I have done therapy for fucking years, I have done cognitive behavioural therapy, a few different antidepressants, meditation, hypnotherapy, many diets, shakes, positive affirmations, looked into religion (hey I am desperate), and I am pretty sure there are other things but I just can’t think of them right now. My next step is a vision board and last week my mum, my brothers and myself have started a weight loss challenge. I’m not doing that well, I have replaced a lot of bad foods with good foods but I am still snacking a lot. Next week my brother and I are signing up for the gym coz we don’t want to go by ourselves. Anyway sorry to just stop here, I don’t know what else to say. Good night.
Final score:
35points
Anxious Pansexual Nightmare 5 years ago
You. Are. My. Hero. The fact that you are here, you are admitting this, and it sounds like you have a good family life, THAT’S F*****G AMAZING! I can’t even imagen the type of strength it takes to do that with depression. Your comments always make me smile, and you seem like a really great person!As for telling your husband, I have no experience but, just tell him. He wants to know. Trust me on that. I realize you probably won’t read this novel, and it probably won’t help, but I really hope you do and it does! You are incredible!
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
I think that I speak for all of us Pandas on this site when I say WE ARE ON YOUR SIDE. Never give up, Foxxy. You ARE loved!
Foxxy (The Original) (Submission author) 5 years ago (edited)
Just remembered, it doesn’t help that both my contraception AND antidepressant cause weight gain so losing weight will be more difficult. I am hoping to get a Salpingectomy done so I can at least have the contraceptive out. I have a consult at the end of the month. woohoo THAT I am excited about, no more anxiety, easier to lose weight, might improve my moods more. I am also excited about christmas, I love christmas and spending time with family, christmas shopping, christmas carols.
Lula Gage 5 years ago
Some things to think about: 1. breathe 2. find things you love about yourself 3. Even if it's scary, I'm sure you'll feel much better if you tell your husband. And they can help. 4. Recognize the progress you have made, because it sounds like you have been eating healthier. 5. corny as it sounds, you're not alone. Friends and family might relate, and can help you. Keep being strong, friend. <3
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Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago
Why in the world does this have -4 points?! Here's an upvote. The same thing happened to my post.
A Random Panda 5 years ago
You should more. I figure you're around middle school like me, and boy oh boy, that's the fastest way to pimples galore. I mean, at the very least, wash your face every day. And take care. This is like a really terrible time to be, well, you know.
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Zoe J. 5 years ago
I hope that everything turns out alright for you, but if not, I hope that you are at least ok with yourself. I don't know you and I don't know much of your story, but I would like you to know that even though you don't like yourself, a stranger on the internet thinks that you are very, very strong for making it this far. That might seem a bit creepy, but I do wish you the best in life and I think that you are very strong for having the courage to say this, even though you don't know how others will react.
Ekate 5 years ago
The worst part of this seems to me to be beating yourself up over any of it - no-one in your position would do any differently - because to be in your position, with your upbringing and experiences, body and mindset, they would have to be you! You are unique and wonderful and have inspired many people on here, through your comments, to smile at the world for a moment. That is such a rare and lovely thing to have done. Also, for myself, the one thing that gets my spirits up is exercise. Find a chirpy online workout and push hard through the first 15 mins of hell, then you will feel great for hours after. Anything we can do better today that we couldn't yesterday, is a win. And for any day that really sucks, there is always a tomorrow. Oh, and maybe your husband would like the opportunity to be let into your depression to help you? sometimes the first step out is letting those closest know you need them. Maybe not, goodness knows I don't have a perfect life! Virtual hugs, anyway.
SirPatTheCat 5 years ago (edited)
I don’t know if this would be helpful or not to you, but something that kind of works for me is treating myself like I would treat anyone else (for self hate). So I think if I would never ever say this to anyone else, or I wouldn’t act this way to someone else, then I won't do it to myself. It doesn’t stop the thoughts, but it kind of lessens them for me. Maybe that’s helpful, maybe it’s not, I don’t know. (Also just btw I agree with Harry Potter, we all love you and will do anything we can to help)
RELATED:
#2
I have said this on: https://www.boredpanda.com/hey-pandas-what-is-the-most-paranormal-thing-that-has-ever-happened-to-you/ and I will say it again. Why do people keep giving others downvotes for no reason at all? I find it stupid as how someone could make others feel bad- for just sharing their story??? I know that people agree with me on this, and I feel like people should have empathy for others as getting downvotes can hurt peoples feelings.
Final score:
33points
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
yes. especially on this post I and others, are using this as a coping tool. DON'T BE RUDE FOR NO REASON! What is the need?
K. 5 years ago
Maybe that’s why I was on BoredPanda so much while going out of my mind. Severe lack of sleep among other things. At the end of the day, downvotes don’t mean anything. Look at the trolls and their vitriol. They just keep coming and heh don’t care if people hate their rhetoric. Think about the comments as a way to socialize during this time. I didn’t realize that so many people can be hateful or miss the point or misread something. It gave me an opportunity to analyze/talk/discuss with people I wouldn’t normally have the opportunity to meet.
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Billy the kid 5 years ago
Some people can be assholes just for the fun of it. I have up-voted this.
Joanne Haywood 5 years ago
Unfortunately that’s how some people get their kicks. Will probably be working towards becoming trolls full-time. You have a story to tell, go tell it!
Harley Hoglin 5 years ago
Why are there people who always down vote? Same reason there is trash along the highway, and in the park. A huge number of people are asshats.
Banjo Peppers 5 years ago
I guess some people just want their comment to be number one so they downvote everything else? It’s rude and stupid.
Tammy Ralph 5 years ago
Unfortunately some people are just born with a nasty streak and get a kick out of hurting other people.
Zoe J. 5 years ago (edited)
Ironic how you got downvoted... I upvoted you though, and you do have an extremely valid point. I have no idea why this keeps happening, but I wish people would stop. Edit: apparently my comment below saying basically the same thing got downvoted as well. Whelp, that's not fun.
#3
I'm 17 years old. I am about to be 18. I have no job, no license, and no real world experience because my parents won't let me. I am genuinely worried about how I will fare in the adult world due to my lack of experience.
Final score:
26points
BusLady 5 years ago
It is a scary world, especially for young people. I have years of experience behind me now, but I remember when I was 17 and just couldn't seem to find a job. I finally landed one. I didn't get my driver's license until I was almost 20 because of my fears about driving. Things will work out for you. :-)
Andres Tejeda 5 years ago
I think you will be fine, many people start off that way, and when you turn 18 you will have plenty of time to get your license, a job, and the soul crushing feeling of all your money going to rent and taxes, while try to to find time and money to go to college. My advice to you is experience will come in time, and take time to see what you really want out life. You are young so don't feel you there is only one path to take or that you are on some timeline to get things done, go at your own pace and live life like how you want.
Light 5 years ago (edited)
If you have genuine interest in making yourself better, you will. I did not learn my life skills from home. I learned it from school and by picking up the brains of people around me who managed to improve their lives. If your parents do not show you or are lazy to teach you about practical stuffs like household chores, cooking etc. research and look up youtube (it's real that some people are lazy parents and animals are better at training their young to survive). Read extensively and do not be afraid to ask questions on how to do things, what steps to take in order to achieve a particular goal from people who made it. Surround yourself with people who are after your own good and who inspire you. As much as there are toxic people around, you will be surprised about the amount of people who are givers and generous about their knowledge and assistance as long as they'll recognize the determination you have to be the best that you can be.
Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago
Alright, every good post has, like, 3 downvotes, so I'm upvoting every single one.
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Idk Katniss Potter 5 years ago
Oof, I don’t have any real reason to have this fear as I am 13, but I’m worried about my future, getting a job, driving, a family. These are silly things for me to worry about at my age but still...
Justanotherperson 5 years ago
U need to be an adult to have adult world experiences. There is no rush. you WILL get a job, you WILL survive in the adult world. Dont be so hard on urself, u will get through it.
Rick klein 5 years ago
I agree with you that it is not easy. I didnt follow my dream in life, worked hard and made money, and now regret it. Skills and education matter, but what do YOU love? Pursue that. Love is from God, and you wont fail.
#4
Well, I got a COVID test yesterday. I'm going to have the results tomorrow, and I can't sleep, because I'm just thinking about it day and night. I keep thinking, "I've taken all the precautions, but could I have it?" I will update when I get results. Stay safe during these times, pandas!
Final score:
19points
Iris Wolfie (づ ◕‿◕ )づ (Submission author) 5 years ago
OMG I GOT THE RESULT!!! NEGATIVE!! PRAISE THE GODS!!!!!!
eezycheezes101 5 years ago
I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Banjo Peppers 5 years ago
Worrying about it now won’t change the outcome. I’m sorry you’re so worried, I can’t say I wouldn’t also be freaking out in the same situation.
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
When given a chance between 'wait and see' or 'worry while I wait to see', the former will be much easier on you. No use wasting worry and if it turns out there's something to worry about, worry won't help there either.
#5
I lost my brother to heart disease in May. 2 of my sisters have been diagnosed with cancer this year. Our other sister has had serious, life threatening health issues for years. So far, I'm the only one who has stayed healthy. All this worries me because I know it is hard on our 83 year old mother. 😢
Final score:
18points
Justanotherperson 5 years ago
Im so sorry. Be sure to comfort ur mother any way u can, and try to spend as much time as u can with ur sisters. I cant even imagine what ur going through.
Popcorn Colonel 5 years ago
I know I don't understand what you are going to, and I know how it feels when people pity you, but I am really truly sorry. No-one should have to experience that much pain, you, your sisters, or your mother. All I can say is do your best to smile, believe me. It helps.
Hilary Mol 5 years ago
2020 has already been such a dumpster fire, and you've had to deal with additional heavy emotional situations on top of it all. First, I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother. It's natural to worry for the health of our families (mental, physical AND emotional), and it's frustrating when all you can do is offer support and a listening ear. I hope you are able to step back from time to time, take five minutes for yourself (I know it sounds like an impossible thing when you feel like the sole caregiver and/or "responsible" one who's supposed to stay strong for everybody), and remember that there's only so much you can do. Much love from the Pandaverse.
#6
My friends and I tease each other a lot but lately some of the things we say actually ends up hurting me. I don't want to tell them because that's how we have fun. Who am I to take away from that?
Final score:
17points
Grace Kennedy 5 years ago
If it's hurting you, them you need to tell them. Next time they do this, don't engage in it. Instead, calmly and politely tell them that you really don't like doing that anymore because it hurts you. Maybe give them an example of how they hurt you once. Also be sure to tell them that you're also trying to make sure that you don't end up hurting them. Ask if you have and tell them sincerely that you're sorry. Sometimes, contrary to what you think, things are to sided.
Raluca Neacsu 5 years ago
Tell them. They are your friends and will understand if you make it clear what exactly bothers you. If keep silent, then you will continue to feel pained and your friends will not know what makes you feel uncomfortable. They cant read minds :) I've been trough this plenty of times. Keeping silent is never a good thing.
Billy the kid 5 years ago
its good to have a laugh, make fun of each other as long as its not too personal. When it gets too personal then that's when they are not your mates.
WhiteFluff 5 years ago
Doesn't sound to me as if you're having fun anymore, so...not sure where you see the "we" in that sentence.... If they hurt you, no matter in what way, cut them out of your life... no need for extra toxicity or ppl putting you down
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
I don't think that Alex De Leon needs o completely cut them out, that might be the next step though if they don't stop after it ha been discussed
Load More Replies... #7
I’m 17 and a senior in high school and for the last 5 years I have been struggling with my sexuality. It’s a very confusing thing to think about. I am a girl who likes girls and I’ve just recently came to terms about it. But I can’t be who I am, or who I want the be because my parents are so small minded. I am a Christian who loves god but I also love girls and I don’t think god would condemn me for it. I feel like I’m alone in this journey and I need help.
Final score:
14points
Cynthia Humphreys 5 years ago
I am a Christian as well. There are a lot of things about the Bible that I don't know. But what I do know is this - God loves you just as you are.
Doyoulikegirlinred? (Submission author) 5 years ago
The support you guys have given me is astounding so you 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Madders 5 years ago
Once you are at the age you are ready to leave home, I think this will help you a lot. I'm sorry you're finding it tough, but as the years go on, you'll become more independent, experience soo much and hopefully your parents will understand your sexuality. It's going to be a ride!
BusLady 5 years ago
I admire that you are aware and accepting of your sexuality. It doesn't matter what others think, you be you. 🌈
Zoe J. 5 years ago
So, when I opened this article, I noticed that one of the trending articles was this: https://www.boredpanda.com/wrong-translation-of-bible-homophobia/ I am a christian in a christian family, and as a teenage closeted asexual panromantic demiboy, I can firmly say that you are not alone, no matter how it might seem. I applaud you for coming out and asking for help even though it might not seem like it counts because it's online, and I hope you can eventually work up the courage to come out and be yourself to your parents as well.
Hilary Mol 5 years ago
I'm no expert, but I grew up Episcopal (Christian). The Episcopalians have always been a group that accepts *everybody*, regardless of gender, race, sexuality, etc. I was taught that God is love, and loves all of creation (and everybody & everything in it). Love is love, honestly. Whether that means you're attracted to girls, guys, or any gender combination in between, it's okay. You have the capacity for loving other people, and that's an amazing gift. There's no way God would condemn you for loving another person. I came out as bisexual in college, and it's something I've never thought to be ashamed of. You are a beautiful creation that loves other beautiful creations like you. You're not alone. You have my full support. :)
Anxious Pansexual Nightmare 5 years ago
You just need to make it till you move out. Trust me, it’ll get better after that. As for the religion thing, I’m not religious but from what I understand, god loves everyone and Jesus preaches about acceptance. Just know that you’re not alone!
#savethechildren 5 years ago
Yeah he does loves us the way we are, but I will tell the truth, being gay/lesbian is bad. It talks about it in Romans 1:27 and even the title shows it too. Also, God made marriage between a man and a woman, not a man and a man or a woman and a woman. I don't hate you, I just can't agree with what you are doing. My brother is gay and I still love and pray for him.
Mirella Besemer 5 years ago
https://um-insight.net/perspectives/has-%E2%80%9Chomosexual%E2%80%9D-always-been-in-the-bible/ -->outtake of text : --""went to Leviticus 18:22 and he’s translating it for me word for word. In the English where it says “Man shall not lie with man, for it is an abomination,” the German version says “Man shall not lie with young boys as he does with a woman, for it is an abomination.” I said, “What?! Are you sure?” He said, “Yes!” Then we went to Leviticus 20:13— same thing, “Young boys.” So we went to 1 Corinthians to see how they translated arsenokoitai (original Greek word) and instead of homosexuals it said, “Boy molesters will not inherit the kingdom of God.” ""--
#8
Bacteria
Final score:
14points
Christel Nellemann 5 years ago
If that scares you, learn about bacteria, so you know, that they are a basic part of life, and eg tons of “good” bacteria, that protects us from disease creating ones. Like your normal gut bacteria.
Billy the kid 5 years ago
Its annoying in work when someone uses the scourer to wash their plates then leaves the scourer on the side with bits of food hanging off it. We have a dish washer! I take my own cup to and from work every day
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
lol. That's kinda random. Here. (My parents are divorced) at my dad's house, we can toss anything in the dishwasher, but at my mom's, we have to scrub literally everything off and THEN we put it in the dishwasher. It's really stupid. (sorry, I just needed to rant real quick)
Load More Replies... #9
I'm struggling to label my sexuality. For years I've been sure I'm bi and I've had experiences with guys and girls that seemed to back this up. However, recently, I've come to realise that I just don't like getting physical. With anyone. I feel absolutely nothing even when I'm with people I have very strong feelings for. Maybe I'm too inexperienced or maybe I haven't found the right person. But its always a little worry in the back of my mind.
Final score:
12points
Kip Otter 5 years ago
So I can tell you that you might be asexual, I'm not saying you definitely are but it's a possibility. Some people just don't feel the urge or the need to get physical with someone, some people just have to meet the right person. I hope this helps at least a little bit
Banjo Peppers 5 years ago
It’s nothing to worry about. Your life won’t be worse because you can’t figure out your situation exactly. Just go with the flow. It might be that you’re asexual, it might be that you just didn’t like those people enough, it might be that you’re too young, it might be that you have a medical condition that’s inhibiting your libido. Don’t worry about it (I mean, be on the lookout for physical medical issues, but don’t worry). If it’s one thing and not the others, it’s no problem.
Parmeisan 5 years ago
In addition to the possibility of asexual or lowered libido, you might be demisexual (ie you might require a certain level of romance before you can consider sex with any particular someone). My armchair diagnosis (to be taken with a healthy helping of salt) would be biromantic demisexual. But if it's bothering you, you could try Reddit, there are a lot of communities there that are very helpful and welcoming. It might help you to talk with others who feel similarly to you.
Load More Replies... Jane Alexander 5 years ago
Do what's right for you. Right and comfortable are the only labels you need.
Anxious Pansexual Nightmare 5 years ago (edited)
Like everyone else I think you might be asexual and biromantic. But, remember that you don’t have to label yourself! It’s ok to say your bi or your questioning or your whatever! Those are just words. Pick the on you feel most comfortable with!
Raluca Neacsu 5 years ago
Maybe you are asexual. I've been struggling with the same issues up until I've read about it. Try not to worry so much about it. Some people are like that. Its very important to meet another person with the same feelings as you :) But that's just my opinion and I may as well be wrong. I wish you the best of luck!
pansexualandproud 5 years ago
you shouldn't be scare of that. I will be fine if you turn out asexual, it just means that you will probably get more cuddles so stay positive
#10
My partner and I have been together almost 4 years. We have a condo (rental), a cat, furniture, a life together. I love him. But this relationship has become so miserable, and so toxic... There's nothing I can do to make him happy except to leave him alone. I'm basically not "allowed" to get emotional about the state of our relationship or he explodes and storms off. We have had the breakup conversation so many times it seems cliché. And now it seems like things are finally at the end. He's got a wealthy family, and if we part ways and move out, he has no worries about what will happen to his life. In fact, he's convinced it will get better. I on the other hand send money to my mom, have ruined my credit trying to keep this household afloat (with zero recognition for it), and couldn't get a lease again if my life depended on it. IE if the relationship fails, I am next to homeless. I even dropped out of grad school 3 years ago and started working in restaurants to support us when he was unemployed. He's talked so much shit to our mutual friends about me I feel like I don't even have any anymore. It feels like my whole life is just falling apart, one step at a time.
Final score:
11points
BusLady 5 years ago
This guy sounds like a sociopath. Get him to move out and run back to his mommy and daddy. You deserve better than this. This relationship will never work out because it will never get better, only progressively worse.
k1ddkanuck (Submission author) 5 years ago
I know. And I feel like I've put so much energy into just "making it work" that I've lost sight of anything beyond that. Thanks :)
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🌺🍍🌼🌻🌼🍍🌺 5 years ago
Honey. get. your. amazing. ass. out. of. that. That man is an asshole. Don't degrade yourself by being with him for another moment. you should be with someone who the only thing that makes them happy is SEEING YOU. love doesn't hurt. love is strong and makes you better. you'll land on your feet, sis. love ya.
k1ddkanuck (Submission author) 5 years ago
Hehe. This really made me smile. Thank you so much.
Load More Replies... Light 5 years ago (edited)
Get out of that relationship while you can. It will not get better. Accept the fact that love cannot cover all shortcomings. Years from now if you do not get out, you will just be a shell of yourself. Empty inside. How do I know? At 42 and 13 years of marriage with kids, I am still living your nightmare. I keep choosing to keep the peace in the household because I thought self- sacrifice is included in making a family intact. I am not happy. And the love I have for my husband grew into suppressed resentment for so many unresolved issues. Sooner or later, you will realize that you do not like the person's character you are stuck with. What made you stay is the idealized version of that person that years and years you are convincing yourself that he will become but will never happen.
Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago
My gosh, this is quite a sticky situation. Just leave him alone for now, and focus on yourself, is my advice. Learn what you want your career to be, and get some new friends! Find your true self! Once you've got all that covered, have a stern talk with him about breaking up or trying to improve your relationship. If he keeps trying to ignore you, keep telling him that you NEED to have this conversation NOW. If he continues trying to knock you down, kick him out! He isn't treating you like the lady you are, and he's not trying in any way to help you with your problems, and it just won't work out if things stay that way for you and him for much longer.
k1ddkanuck (Submission author) 5 years ago
That does help to hear. Not a lady for the record. I can't rightly kick him out, because we are both on this lease. And I don't want it to come to us moving out. I want things to get better, but these days it has just become so damn apparent that things never will, that I just can't do this anymore. Seriously, thanks for saying this. Praying for you too. For all of us I guess ;)
Load More Replies... Christel Nellemann 5 years ago
I am so sorry. Dr Ramani on youtube has a lot of videos on narcisism, how it works , how to deal etc. he sounds so bad. This is a terrible situation.
Idk Katniss Potter 5 years ago
You need to end it, it’s going to be 100% better than what you are going though now. :(
Amy Dodds 5 years ago
I've been in a very similar situation. Miserable in a relationship, but you use it as a crutch and are scared of ending things because you don't know how you will cope on your own. But you can start over. You know the relationship isn't going to work so the end is enevitable, it's just a case of either end it sooner rather than later. And I guarantee that one day you will only regret not ending it sooner. I had a bit of a rough time after, moved 6 times in less than 2 years, but am so grateful I ended. You don't have to have all the answers and a plan, you will work it out on your own and find happiness. Promise you.
k1ddkanuck (Submission author) 5 years ago
This was the well reasoned, experienced advice I was looking for. Thank you!
Load More Replies... #11
I don't know how to tell my mom what I want. I just feel like if I do I will burst out Crying and she'll think something is wrong with me. And I'm scared of what she will think. I know she already disapproves of me trying to become an actor and well asking for her help I don't know how she will react. I just want to be a good daughter while having my dream job.
Final score:
11points
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
Go! Pursue your dreams! If she doesn't support that, it's fine, just get help from a friend or something!
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
Why the downvote? (I countered it) Mom didn't like my choices, but they were My choices. (I didn't think much of some of hers either)
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yosemity sam 5 years ago
Write her a letter. I cry whenever I have to confront my father (out of anger)so i write letters to him. It helps you get out exactly what you want to say and you won't have to worry about not being able to get it out or looking like a freak. If she disagrees with your choices that doesn't make you a bad daughter, nor her a bad mother.
Raluca Neacsu 5 years ago
Try to talk to her just once. If she cant or wont help, just go talk to a friend. Friends are much more supportive than family members sometimes.
averageperson 5 years ago
I cry too, when i try to open up to my parents, so i just keep my mouth shut because i hate crying. I also love acting!! It's just so much fun. I suggest you try and figure out why she doesn't like the idea of you becoming an actor and set boundaries for yourself (because some actors are willing to do anything for money, you need to set some limits) and explain to your mom why acting is not a bad profession. However when talking to your mom it is CRUCIAL that you don't seem aggressive or accusing when you talk to her, so she doesn't think she has to defend herself (about how you shouldn't be an actor)
Kristin Ingersoll 5 years ago
So, when I was 22, heading out into the world with my dual Journalism / Theater degrees, I had a conversation with my mom about which direction I wanted to go. Above all, I wanted a family. But my true love was singing, And I was (am) good! She told me what we all hear... It's tough out there; lots of rejection, no money until you hit it big, which is so rare... blahblahblah... Then she said, "Honestly, if you truly want to get married and have a family, your chances of meeting a straight guy are so much higher in the corporate world." Probably 70% of my friends and chosen family are LGBTQ, and i was young... and I listened to her. I have had an extremely successful corporate career. I pine to perform and REGRET not making it my profession. And I've never been married, and have no kids. I'm 50, so that's not changing. (there's a character limit? Continuing in a reply)
Kristin Ingersoll 5 years ago
I say all of this to support YOU and say.. You make the decision that's right for you. If you truy want to act, ACT!!! Wait tables. Grow a thick skin so you can deal with rejection. Thrive in the roles you win. Enjoy the hell out of it. Don't regret not giving it a try. "Real jobs" will always be there. But you really need to go for the arts when you're young. I've found good outlets to sing and perform, but I truly regret not going with my gut. I made my decision based on my mother's desires. Not mine. GO FOR IT!!!!!!
Load More Replies... Hilary Mol 5 years ago
Even if you're scared, tell your mom. This is the woman who brought you into the world. You'd be surprised how much she already knows about what you want. It's like moms are psychic. I know it feels awkward to cry in front of your mom - I hate it when I do it, and I don't know why. Even so, tell her. Tell her. You might be surprised. And always go after your dreams. Don't give yourself a reason to regret something you didn't do.
#12
Having to cancel anything most of the time (friend meetings, family gatherings, fun, trips, projects at work, life basically) due to flare ups of chronic illness. It pains me to say "I can't" tens of times in a row to friends and family. I'm afraid of what awaits for me in the future in terms of my illness.
Final score:
10points
WhiteFluff 5 years ago
Sadly I have been there too... and am left with nobody but my mother and my boyfriend standing beside me... it's sad but... people who are not willing to even come to you once in a while or don't even try to understand your (sometimes literal) pain, are not even worthy of your time thinking about them and especially aren't true friends.... I hope you have a bearable day <3
#13
That when a person very close to me died, I could not attend the funeral due to the Covid-19 lockdown. The guilt of not being able to go does not help with my severe clinical depression
Final score:
10points
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
It's no your fault. Here's an idea... Host a funeral for them just you and some pillows (put wigs and googly eyes on them) and just pray and say that you hope that they crossed rainbow bridge peacefully. Something like that. I'm not sure, but it's an idea!
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
Would that close person have wanted you to risk covid to attend? Funerals are for the living. Some of us think that those who have gone don't attend thier funerals but are reuniting with loved ones on the other side.
Lara Löwenherz 5 years ago
Im in the same situation right now. Its not your choice so its not your fault. Go ther when you allowed to. You think about the person. That's all that counts.
#14
I am 11, and I'm not sure why, but ever since a few years ago, I've been extremely dirty minded. I imagine all sorts of really nasty things, and sometimes I look inappropriate things up. I have been trying so hard to stop and clear my mind of this filth, but I'm struggling. It's been devouring me for years now.
Final score:
9points
Nicole 5 years ago
If you mean inappropriate things because of your age, that's pretty normal. Sexuality is a hard topic, even today, that adults sometimes struggle with sharing or understanding. If you have someone you trust, talk to them. If you don't there are lots of healthy resources online. Don't be ashamed that you have these thoughts or desires. As long as you approach it in a healthy and safe way (years from now, engaging in acts at such a young age is a whole other thing) there is nothing wrong with that. If inappropriate consists of images or videos of people, animals or children being hurt or forced. Talk to someone NOW. There is help out there, keep talking until someone listens.
Arctic Fox Lover (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thank you so much, it helps a LOT. Because of the terrible choices other members of my family and friends have made, I know not to do this at my age. My cousin had a child when she was 15, and my other cousin, that cousin's sister, had a child with a very sick man at the age of 18. I hope this habit of mine can get sorted out. All of this help is greatly appreciated.^^
Load More Replies... Joyous Cat Birb 5 years ago
I'm kinda like your situation right now and I'm 10, distract yourself with other things if you are feeling uncomfortable, like thinking of dogs, cats, etc makes me feel better. Find somethings to help you, and it's okay.
Arctic Fox Lover (Submission author) 5 years ago
Ok, I'll try it! Thanks for the ideas! <:)
Load More Replies...
MADELEINE KIMBALL 5 years ago
I totally agree with Jennifer, and if you feel like the thoughts you're having ARE unhealthy, I recommend watching the video Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts on youtube. Remember that your thoughts don't define who you are, especially if you don't want to have them and try to ignore them. The video I suggested explains this all in-depth (and it's funny too).
Arctic Fox Lover (Submission author) 5 years ago
Ok, I'll look into it! Thanks so much!
Load More Replies... Jennifer Crompton 5 years ago
Well, it's difficult to know what you mean by "extremely dirty minded" because what would be considered filthy to one person would be perfectly normal to another. Just know that it's very normal for adolescent aged kids to be curious about and stimulated by sex. If that's all it is, I don't think you have anything to worry about. However, if you feel like the types of sexual things you're looking at and imagining are unhealthy, then maybe you could talk to a trusted adult? If you can't do that, then perhaps research for ideas on how to distract yourself from unwanted thoughts. There are several techniques to do that
Arctic Fox Lover (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thanks! And honestly, I'm very immature and childish, and I shouldn't even know about this stuff. I feel it is very, very unhealthy, and I just wanna forget about it. Thank you for these recommendations, I'll look into em.
Load More Replies...
HissyFitzz 5 years ago
Hm, well once you see something it's hard to unsee it, but I think I do have a few suggestions. This might sound kinda stupid but think wholesome. Play games like animal crossing, visit shelters who need help right now, and play with the puppies and kittens. Keep your mind off of that stuff. The second thing I would recommend is to leave social media if you have it. Lots of inappropriate stuff are there. If you don't want to you don't have to leave it all together just unfollow/unlike or even make a new account full of your other interests. For my third and final suggestion, I would say transition. I like lots of shows that aren't 'dirty' but are wholesome and funny. (most of these are anime shows) I would recommend Teasing Master Takagi-san for starters. It's a cute show and it's on Netflix. The second show I would recommend is the promised neverland. It's such an amazing show you spend nights thinking about that instead of dirty stuff. It's a bit scary so be forewarned.
HissyFitzz 5 years ago
It's my favorite show of all time and it's also available on Netflix (maybe Crunchyroll). The next and final tv show I would recommend is Avatar the Last Airbender. You probably have seen it or heard of it. It's an amazing show with great characters and plot. 10/10 go watch it. Another thing to help you transition could be when you feel the temptation to google something bad, pick up a stuffed animal, or a video game console if you have one. You're on bored panda so I'm assuming you have a phone/computer/iPad so download a cute mobile game to pass time. That's all the advice I have and I hope it helps! ^W^
Load More Replies... Hailey Hall 5 years ago
Its OK im 10 yrs old and i have overheard so many things like that! I also have dreams of people getting hurt. that's it. Your not the only one sister. Its OK! :D
Rick klein 5 years ago
The internet is an evil thing. The temptations it offers are born of ugly hearts. Short goals like 1 week without looking, adding parental controls on your devices, praying, and asking for counsel are some ways of curbing the actions. Pray a lot!!
Arctic Fox Lover (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thank you so much! I've been searching for Christian advice, because I wanna grow closer to God and my parents.
Load More Replies... Katy McMouse 5 years ago
You are perfectly normal. I think that the inundation of thoughts and fantasies of "nasty things" is nature's way of helping us to figure out what we will enjoy as adults. And, I promise you, the things you are thinking have been thought by just about everyone before you and will be thought by just about everyone after you. As long as you are careful and you know what is safe to explore and what might not be safe, you'll be fine. Just please, don't hurry into "real world" territory just yet.You are too young and vulnerable to the worst society has to offer. You're a normal kid, and the fact that you are worried is a sign that you are self aware and a thoughtful person. You will be just fine.
Lisa Anne 5 years ago
For the record, the human body and sex aren't dirty. At your age, hormones are wreaking havoc with your skin, your body, and your mind. Welcome to puberty. Your imagination is going to turn to sexual things. And, it's natural to be curious about the body and sex. So yes, you're normal. I don't know what you mean about "inappropriate things", but if it's porn, the reality is that 99% of it is fake. Reputable porn sites pay actors (of legal age) to do those things, and the actors must consent to everything. However, if it involves children, animals, and/or the mentally challenged being hurt or forced, please talk to someone ASAP. It worries me that you may be looking at porn because you're so young. I was interested in sex at a young age, probably because I was molested. I'm not saying you have, but maybe you've seen things on TV or in movies you were too young to see, or you've seen/heard people having sex or talking about it. Talk to someone you trust and be honest. Hope this helps.
Arctic Fox Lover (Submission author) 5 years ago
Well, I've been into this well before puberty. It started when I was, like, 5. I was really into kissing scenes in movies because my parents forbade me from watching them. I did this thing they called "sleepy dancing" because I always did it when I was sleepy. Whenever I sleepy danced, I would imagine the kissing scenes as vividly as I could. Then it got serious when I was 7 or 8 or something. At first I looked up "Minecraft people having [you know what]", and I didn't actually look at anything (I probably would've if my mom hadn't walked into my room at that moment) and I felt suuuuper guilty for the next month or so. I finally broke down and told my mom, but I had an extra hard time telling my dad. He understood (mostly) and said "well, it's mom and my responsibility to teach you these things. As long as you don't do it again, you're forgiven" It was on a flipping text and I still knew that he was SERIOUS about not doing it again. But that Minecraft people thing really
Load More Replies... #15
This is hard for me to say. Anyway, my parents are very devotional Hindus. I grew up believing it. I mean, it's the only religion-like concept that I've been introduced to. But recently, I've been having doubts. They're always at the back of my mind. I read the Mahabharata, (it's like a bible, but in Hinduism) I read the whole entire thing, and the first thing I thought was that I believed none of it. The sad thing is that I learn devotional dance too, and I always feel so guilty doing it, knowing that I don't believe in the stories that I'm representing with my dancing. I don't want to tell my parents. Truthfully, my mom and I don't have the best relationship and religion is something that we connected to. Without it, what would happen? I'm scared, and it feels horrible to have to pretend to believe something you don't. I just don't know what to do.
Final score:
9points
Justanotherperson (Submission author) 5 years ago (edited)
thanks. ur advice was very much needed. (not being saracstic)
A Dumbo Octopus 5 years ago
Idk why you're being downvoted. Questioning beliefs is something everyone does. I was raised Catholic but later on I realized I found some of the stuff in it just unbelievable. I talked to my parents about it, but my Mom is...pretty toxic. She still pressures me to pray at the table and try to "reconsider". However, knowing you have a great relationship with your Mom, she'll be far more likely to understand and be open to you questioning your beliefs. Good luck, dude <3
Idk Katniss Potter 5 years ago
Yeah, I can kinda relate, my dad is Christian and I consider myself Christian but I’m mostly an Atheist.
Popcorn Colonel 5 years ago
I just happen to be an atheist, while my parents accept it my friends.... well. I love them although one of them can be a bit overbearing they keep trying to turn me into a perfect Christian. All I can say is stay true to yourself.
#16
somebody told me I'm the reason they want to die. why? because I'm "too sad" LIKE DUDE I LITERALLY HAVE (ALMOST CRIPPLING) DEPRESSION. It does not feel great... I'm starting to think that if I don't exist she will be happier.....
Final score:
8points
Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago
If that person says things like that, don't be friends with her, or feel bad that she isn't pleased! Obviously she isn't trying to help you with your depression. Just try to focus on making yourself feel happier. :)
izzy bradford (Submission author) 5 years ago
o-ok, thank you so much! It really helps, I wasn't expecting that
Load More Replies... Katy McMouse 5 years ago
This person sounds like they are emotionally blackmailing you. For your own good, be done with them. And NOW!
Kip Otter 5 years ago
I can honestly relate to this. I have depression, sometimes it's almost crippling and other times it's I can function (almost) completely fine. I used to talk about everything with my friends but I started to feel like I was just a burden to them so I stopped talking about it and I pretended I was fine when I really wasn't. My answer was always "Everything's great at the moment!" when they asked if I was ok. I started slipping into depressive episodes where I could do almost nothing more frequently. Eventually it escalated to the point where I was hurting myself and really wanted to disappear. I became a shell and made sure I was forgettable so I wouldn't hurt more people when I disappeared. So I'm sorry that you have to go through this horrible thing but I am here if you need to vent about anything and everything. But I can assure you that disappearing will not make her happier
izzy bradford (Submission author) 5 years ago
thank you everybody for all the support, I cried reading this because you guys don't even know me, and yet you're going out of your way to help me.. thank you so much. it will be really hard leaving this person, and I am still evaluating what to do. but all of you are so sweet and I don't deserve this. I wish I could give all of you a hug, you give me hope. something I haven't had for a long time.
Idk Katniss Potter 5 years ago
They obviously don’t understand what you are going though and you should distance yourself from them as much as possible.
ISpiltLipstickInYourValentinoBag 5 years ago
You are so much more than some hateful people! Even if life is bad sometimes you know you have people that support you, and I'm happy to be one of them :)
Christel Nellemann 5 years ago
That is mean and manipulative of that person. Especially if it came from family. That is not taking responsability for them selves. I hope, you find your way (s) forward soon. Best wishes.
Diana Bahamonde 5 years ago
Cut them out of your life and just focus on yourself, you not existing won't make anyone happy so please stay with us
sosunlight 5 years ago
Thinking of you. You might not feel it right now - but your existence probably makes a whole lot of other people happier than you realise. You are important <3
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
'Somebody's full of sh*t. 'Somebody' has a serious problem and it's not you. Get away from 'Somebody' and don't look back.
#17
The fact that it isn't likely that I will be remembered for anything I have or haven't done. So many people are forgotten every year and very few are remembered for anything, be it good or bad.
Final score:
8points
Grace Kennedy 5 years ago (edited)
Hey Sophie, I know how you feel. Trust me. Sometimes it feels like we're underappreciated, and it doesn't feel good.Do remember one thing though. Character. Character is what you do when no one is looking. Sometimes it's okay to not get credit for what we do because helping someone out can feel good either way. Edit: Also, even though the whole world might not remember you when you're gone, that doesn't mean you haven't made an impact on someones life. Trust me, someone out there is waiting for you to change their world.
Sophie McGregor (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thanks to all the positive comments.
Load More Replies... Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago
Well, sometimes I think about this, and just realize that all we humans CAN do is be human. Every little thing any person does affects the world in some way, no matter how small. Just live your life and enjoy it! :)
Christel Nellemann 5 years ago
True. It is like that for the wast majority. We still exist, despite most of the world not noticing. Nature exists just in it self, wether someone else looks or not. Look out , see the other people , what are their stories?
#18
I'm feeling really really sad. Not a lot enthuses me at the moment and I have a lovely boyfriend, nice house and a new kitten. I feel guilty for feeling sad and find it difficult to explain to people why, let alone understand it myself
Final score:
8points
Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago
I know you said you can't explain to people why, but here's my bit of advice: Tell people! Tell people that you don't KNOW why you're feeling sad, and that you're feeling guilty about being sad. Talk to people you trust, like your lovely boyfriend! If it comes to it, talk to a therapist. I wish the best for you!
Lisa Anne 5 years ago
You might be suffering from depression. Don't feel guilty. Yes, it's had to find the words to explain it. It's a disease caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. It can be effectively treated, and you can get back to your usual self. Sometimes depression is seasonal, or it's due to a specific event. But either way, you have to talk to someone. Start with your parents. If that doesn't work, try other adults: another family member, a teacher, someone at your church, a club sponsor, whoever you feel like you can trust. Keep talking until someone listens to you and you have a doctor's appointment. Medical professionals must keep what you say private, unless you or someone is being abused or is in danger. I wish you the best.
Tammy Ralph 5 years ago
You could have offered the same advice to aaryaa but instead you decided to be nasty.
Load More Replies... Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
Hey Madders, its not your fault if you are sad. Talk to your boyfriend or family about it and they can help. I know that it might seem overwhelming, but stick with it. You go girl!
Madders (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thank you everyone, I've been taking anxiety medication for awhile, purely for an anxiety condition. Then I've not been sleeping well, so taking an anti depressant at night - not sure if this is having an adverse affect or something else. Taken some time off work and Doctors appointment next Tuesday. I still feel crap but I'm trying to push forward. I've lost a few people over this past year and I think perhaps I haven't processed properly... Thanks again all - much love and peace to you
Iðunn Ýr 5 years ago
Depression doesn't ask when, why nor whom. Depression doesn't have a reason, it just is. Sometimes there are some things that trigger it and or lead to it. But there is never just one reason. Take small steps; half a baby steps; baby steps; from morning to evening. Till next morning; next weekend; next month. Every morning, try finding one thing to look forward too; every evening, try finding one thing you are thankful for 🧡 And like one other commented on, talk to those nearest to you. You can't work on someting, that you do not acknowledge. "The first step in helping yourself, and or working in finding solutions, is to acknowledge what is wrong" -Something my mother says often, and taught me, when I was young. So you have already started 😏 Wish you well and good thoughts your way.
Load More Replies... #19
My mother and brother accusing me of being a drug addict. 4 years ago, and I'm still bitter. I didn't go to the ER seeking drugs. I went because I was in pain from the 10 centimeter tumor inside my uterus. I guess they realized their mistake after the surgeons spent 8 hours cutting it out of me, but I never got an apology. Never even admitted they were wrong. Sometimes I hate my family.
Final score:
8points
BusLady 5 years ago
Some people are just incapable of apologising or admitting they were wrong. Don't take it personally. You know the truth, and that is enough for your peace of mind.
Idk Katniss Potter 5 years ago
Yeah, I have trouble admitting my wrongs, but in this case I think I would apologize
Load More Replies... Kristin Ingersoll 5 years ago
I wish I could PM you. I had a very similar experince and it was incredibly painful. You aren't alone, sis. <3
#20
I think I might have anxiety? Like clinical anxiety. I’ve alway been a worried person, but it’s gotten out of hand. Twice now, I’ve had moments when I’m super anxious and scared to the point that I had to work hard to make myself leave my room. I also have this thing where I feel overwhelmed by really small things, sometimes just noises. But, I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or not. I know I’m stressed, but is it a real problem? And how do I let my parents know that I’m at least super worn out, or at most need to see a therapist?
Final score:
8points
Banjo Peppers 5 years ago
Just tell your parents that you’ve been so anxious that you couldn’t even leave your room and want to see a therapist. It helps to have a list of possible ones to see ready.
Parmeisan 5 years ago
I live with clinical anxiety, or GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and once you know it for what it is, it's manageable. If you do have it, it's not the end of the world, you can work through it. You should see a therapist - now that I'm finally seeing one, I'm a big believer that *everybody* should have a therapist. It just helps you to not be bouncing around in your own head, get someone else's perspective on things. And if you have anxiety, they can teach you what the best response is to your anxious thoughts so that you're training your brain away from it. The younger you start the better, but I was 30 and I still learned so much from it. My biggest piece of advice is find a therapist you really have a rapport with. Try several, stick with the best. This needs to be a person that you are completely comfortable talking to and will with time be able to become vulnerable with. They can help you whether you have GAD or not. Best of luck!
Anxious Pansexual Nightmare (Submission author) 5 years ago
This helps a lot!
Load More Replies... Anxious Pansexual Nightmare (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thanks for all the support and help!
Ghilliegirl 5 years ago
I used to be the same! I would get so anxious I couldn't leave my room, never mind actually leave my house. High school was a nightmare for me and then when I left I couldn't get a job because any time my parent actually managed to get me out of the house and to an interview I was such a sweaty, stuttering, anxious mess no one would ever employ me. I had no idea what was wrong with me. (This was in the late '90's, before every Tom, D**k and Harry on the internet starting throwing the word 'anxiety' around) Then one day I was reading a magazine article about people with clinical anxiety and about a new medication that was helping them. I took the article to my doctor and said "this is me!", I was prescribed anxiety medication and I think it was about 8 weeks later I was actually willing, happily, confidently leaving the house without being forced. It really changed my life! I wholeheartedly encourage you to take the step of talking to a doctor and getting medication!
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
I have the exact same situation as you except maybe not as severe. Sometimes if I get into trouble or something, I start shaking and crying and stuff. I hope that maybe it can stop and it's just because the time of things right now (2020) I already have some (minor) health issues and I really don't need a mental health issue on top of that. I really don't want to tell my parents about it and I haven't even told my best friend. The only person I've told (besides BP) is my baby sister who is one. I wrote a letter to her about it that she will open when she's 18 (I'm making her a big box of these letters.) So basically, I understand what you are going through. What I do (because I like to be organised) is I have a stress journal. You can use it from little itty bitty worries (like: This is my favorite pen and it's starting to wear out) to huge worries (like the obvious: Do I have anxiety) It really helps me so when I came up with the idea, I hopped right on it. Go you! SftSH
#21
I have severe depression and PTSD but nobody knows how unhappy I am because I have abusive parents and no close friends. And seeing how much better everyone else's life around me are, it just is eating me up.
Final score:
8points
Lousha 5 years ago
If you still go to school, try to talk to some of your teachers. Most will disappoint you, but you might find a gem among them. If you go to church, that can be an option as well. There are also online support groups. The main thing is not to just accept that things will never get better. If you keep trying sooner or later you will find the person/thing/group that will help you do better. Plus: as much as it can seem that way, no, almost nobody's life is much better than yours. Their issues are just less apparent from your perspective.
#22
mosquitos UwU...and the fact that everyone in the family thinks my grandparents are homophobic and im lesbian and havent come out to them
Final score:
8points
#23
I'm so freaking worthless! i have no expeirince with the outside world and I've been able to wriggle my way out of any chance to get some because I'm horribly afraid of saying/doing something stupid. I hate myself and i can't say anything not only because my parents have isolated me from the handful of people who cared about me, but also because i know from expeirince that they will leave me in the dust when I'm not happy or cheery enough. I have no coping mechanisms left except hurting myself, mentally and physically. I'm terrified of the idea that no one is coming to save me, no one is going to start loving me unless i make it happen and i just don't have the heart to keep hoping it'll get better in 2 years when i move out. I don't want to tell anybody because i feel pathetic and i don't want to see that look on peoples faces when they realize that I've been hiding all the bad parts from them. sorry but i had to dump it...
Final score:
8points
Hailey Hall 5 years ago
That F****n train of thought thinking your stupid is wrong. Just remember that there are other people feeling the exact same way you are right now and you don't think there stupid because of it! Do you?
ISpiltLipstickInYourValentinoBag 5 years ago
You are a beautiful person filled with so much potential, you are not worthless, ma yeah you can make some affirmations or have something that makes you happy, you are not alone!
the oreo 5 years ago
you are not freaking worthless! living is enough. the fact that you have the power to exist is AWESOME. be yourself, and take care of yourself- and please do not allow your self love to rely on the love of others. you can lean on them sometimes for sure! but you gotta love yourself and you're awesome. you got this and good luck!
Christel Nellemann 5 years ago
Maybethere are support groups online, and possible to find in your area. You can get those lifeskills later, it sucks now, but never too late. I am so sorry for your parents own bad lifeskills, and bad unsupportive ways. Wish you so well 🌸
sosunlight 5 years ago
I've lived with depression and low self esteem for a number of years. You might not feel it right now, but you are a valuable, worthwhile and beautiful person. True friends will recognise that and stick with you during the ups and downs. I hope you have and continue to gain supportive people in your life who help you realise how important you are.
#24
The delicious Mexican food I had last night... Sooo good, but so bad.
Final score:
7points
#25
this is not nearly as bad as some others but I really need to get this off my mind. I met my boyfriend online, and everything is perfect. However, I can't get my doubts out of my head. I'm so scared I'll do something and lose him, or that he'll find someone better than me. I love him, and I don't want to lose him...I'll keep the doubts until we meet in two and a half years...
Final score:
7points
Grace Kennedy 5 years ago
BE YOU. If there's one way to lose someone it's over thinking things around them. Just be calm, be you, and everything will be fine. If they don't love you for who you are then they don't deserve you sister!
Idk Katniss Potter 5 years ago
All I can say, is that, be careful, you never know when it comes to the internet. I can’t give you any real advice as a 13 y/o but just keep this in mind ;)
Amy Dodds 5 years ago
Did I read that right? You aren't going to actually meet him for 2.5 years? Have you met him? Have you spent extended periods of time together? Seen him at his worse, seen how he's reacted to issues, argued and fought, made compromises? If you haven't seen the worst in someone and still decided to be together it's not love its infatuation
Tessa Gray (Submission author) 5 years ago
yes, we talk.all the time. we video chatted once, I know the bad things he's done, and I still love him.
Load More Replies... Christel Nellemann 5 years ago
So you never met him inreal life? You seem to harbour a fantasy about the perfect relationship, and even if both of you are genuine, being togehter irl is always very different - the fantasies and ideals meet harsh realities, auch. Practise realities and be kind to yourself , like working on appreciating yourself truly, not for money , possessions, beauty, skills or all that.
Tessa Gray (Submission author) 5 years ago
I admit that'st true. I will follow your advice, thank you (:
Load More Replies... WhiteFluff 5 years ago
as someone who has been there and done that: My bf and I are together for 8 yrs last Monday...long distance all through - finally beginning next year we can move in together. Despite it being 8 yrs I still have the same fears and thoughts as you... but I hope they fade once I can really be with him - good luck to you too <3
Tessa Gray (Submission author) 5 years ago
Because we are both 15..He lives In Michigan and I Live In Arizona..
Load More Replies... Zoe J. 5 years ago
I have had many similar experiences with friends. I hate that feeling like you're walking on thin ice when you know that you're probably fine, but you just don't want to lose your friend/S.O so you do everything in your power to keep them happy. I personally have lost more friends this way, but that might be because I'm more inclined to lie to keep others happy, but that's just my experience. Just know that you're not alone!
#26
Questioning my gender. My sex is female but I've always felt that I kinda hovered between male and female. I don't think I'm genderfluid. I might be non binary, I'm just stressed out by it and it doesn't help that my mom says that anything besides male and female are fake and made up.
Final score:
7points
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
I have no idea what this feels like, but here we go: Talk to a trustworthy friend about it, maybe see a counselor, if you aren't comfortable, bring that friend along. Then tell your mom, she will find out eventually, and if she is a good mother, she won't love you any less. It may seem hard but you know that you need to do it. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that everything works out for you.
Silver Frost (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thanks (: My sister knows. I'm to scared to tell my friends and my mom is also trans phobic in general
Load More Replies... Anxious Pansexual Nightmare 5 years ago
I always say this, but remember labels are just labels. If you don’t feel comfortable identifying as nb or gender fluid, just saying you’re gender queer is always an option. But, if you want a name for it, I might be wrong, but I think the word for feeling like a mix of a boy and a girl is being androgynous? Idk but I think that’s right. If you don’t want to tell your mom, you don’t have to! I know it’s often hard to stay closeted, but if it would make your life harder or if your parents might kick you out, you might not want to bring it up. If you don’t want your mom to know, wait until you’re out of the house. Safety first! In the meantime, we all support you!
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
Your mom is very wrong about that. Hermaphrodites exist as well as some people who lsimply feel they have the wrong type of body. https://www.google.com/search?q=hermaphrodite+definition&oq=hermap&aqs=chrome.2.69i57j0i433i457j0j0i433l2j0l2j0i433.9655j0j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8
Curry on... 5 years ago
Since you're not sure, just step back a little and focus on something else besides your sexuality. Give yourself some breathing room. Once you know the truth, you'll be strong enough to face anyone.
Ryan Johnston 5 years ago
" I'm not sure how I feel about myself and I have no-one to talk to about it" describes me and just about everyone i have ever known. It's not just you and you don't have to decide right now. Everyone ( your mum included ) is just winging it while they learn about life and themselves. Give yourself a break, normal to think about the 'big questions' at your age but maybe just live for a while. Good luck.
#27
Insomnia. I try to fall asleep, but I can't sleep. Sleep deprivation is now just my routine. Even when I do manage to fall asleep for a few glorious moments, I awake throughout the night. Well, that and the fact that I'm very judgmental of myself and I just need my head to shut up for five minutes, so I can hear myself think, really THINK. And when I talk, it feels like no one ever listens. I want to change but I can't, really can't. I feel like I'm just running from everything, all my problems, and I run because I know I cannot hide. It's keeping me up, everyone telling me that I should give up. Long story short, I'm a mess.
Final score:
7points
Parmeisan 5 years ago
I'm afraid I can't help with the insomnia, but as a response to "I want to change but I can't": Have patience with yourself. If you want to change, believe me, then you can - but it takes time. A lot of time. Recognize that that's normal. Be as patient with yourself as you would be with your best friend going through the same struggle. And most importantly, Don't Give Up! There will be good days and bad days. These things are never linear. You can't take the bad days as some sort of sign that it won't work. Instead you have to look at the frequency and degree of the good days and over a long time you should see that rise. You can do this!
Hilary Mol 5 years ago
I've dealt with insomnia and anxiety/depression issues for years, and it sucks. It's SO hard to turn off what I call "monkey mind" - that part of your brain that keeps chattering even when you're yelling at it to shut the hell up. Sometimes it's useless information rolling around keeping you awake, but more often it's your inner critic going down the very long list of things you (deep down, or maybe not so very deep down) put in the "should" category. I'm 46 years old and I still feel like I'm running, every single day. Sometimes it's hard to just keep putting one foot in front of the other, but I do it because I have to. I'm a mess, too. I can't fix your mess (or, apparently, mine), but we can be a mess together. :)
#28
An employee of 14 years, who I helped many times including buying him a car as a bonus, giving him raises from 30k a year to 120k, buying clothes for his kids, and giving him 6k cash from my pocket as a wedding gift...he bought some lottery tickets and offered to split with me if i paid for half and i said sure. Guess what happened? Yup! 5 million dollar winner that night and he recanted the offer to split. Nothing in writing so I lose. All I ever did was bless him and now I cant sleep or eat.
Final score:
7points
Justanotherperson 5 years ago
What a horrible person. At least u now know he's a person who is not worth ur time. Spend some time with someone who is actually a decent person. I know i t must be hard, thinking about all the money u gave this asshole, but just know that no amount of money will change him to good person.
Harley Hoglin 5 years ago
In Texas if you have other people who heard him say you get half, go to court. A verbal contract is the same as a paper one in here. May be the same where you are.
Rickster (Submission author) 5 years ago
Nope. California. The psycho State. Wish I lived in Texas! Nicer people...
Load More Replies... #29
A friend and I have been making this graphic novel for about half a year now. To be honest, I cannot say why we've been doing it, but it's important to her and she really seems to be enjoying it. Lately, due to Covid, we haven't been able to see each other at all but she's still working on the project. I feel like a horrible friend for saying this, but I really want to pull out. I haven't had an active role in this project in a while, and I have told her a few times that I'll stop procrastinating and start helping her again, but I just can't find the energy to. I have a lot of chaos in my own life right now, but I do have a lot of time to help, but I just can't find the want to do it. I feel really guilty and like I am letting her down, but I just don't want to do this anymore. I've always been a people-pleaser, so that might be why I feel so guilty but I just don't know what to do. Am I overreacting? Am I just being cowardly for not speaking my mind? Or am I really a terrible friend? I'm probably being overdramatic, but this has been very heavy on my chest for a long time, and I haven't told a soul.
Final score:
6points
Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago
Well, it's great that you want to please your friend, but you need to be your own person too. I'm sure that, if she's your true friend, she'll understand that you have other interests now. You're not a terrible friend for having other interests than making a comic with your buddy!
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
Tell her about your feelings, maybe say something like, "I have a lot of stuff going on in my life right now, and I'm not sure I can help you with this right now. I feel like I'm letting you down but I need to figure out my life. But, if you do need help with something, don't hesitate to call. I just need a break right now." If she is a true friend she will understand.
#30
Friends. I have a friend that I was pretty close with last year until she started getting wrapped up in boys and drama and her high school sister's problems. She just goes on and on about soccer. I know she loves soccer but sometimes it's a little annoying because I can't get a word in edgewise. And trust me, I'm not a quiet person. Also, the worst part is she's always hating on my other friends an sucking up to all the people I know that are "popular", whatever that means in middle school. Recently I just feel like she just uses me to talk to and she doesn't really care about me. I just moved here last year and she was kind of my first friend but I'm not so sure anymore. Can ya'll help me?
Final score:
6points
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago (edited)
Have a conversation with her about it.If she is a true friend, she will care and try to fix the situation. If she doesn't, don't be mad or judge her, just find other friends. You two CAN still stay friends, but you shouldn't limit yourself to just her, especially if she's not giving you the attention you deserve. Good luck : )
Emilingo 5 years ago
I had a similar experience about a year ago. I moved and I ran into a girl who just decided to be my friend. After a while I decided that being friends with her was not a good idea, and her other friends were also kind of mean to me. She was also a narcissists. I hated her, and she thought she was so smart (but she really isn't). COVID helped me get away from them for the most part, but it has been hard to make new friends and my old ones seem to be forgetting me. I've found that just trying to be friendly in general helps make friends, and just seeking out the sort of people you would want as a friend. As for this old friend, I wouldn't say to just ignore her completely, but I'd suggest you try to keep your distance from those sorts of people. If she wants to be popular, let her try to. Make friends that won't do that, and still be nice to her, but if she still wants you as a friend, it's her fault you can't anymore.
Grace Kennedy (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thank you guys so much! It really means a lot to me that you responded to my post.
Zoe J. 5 years ago
Don't be afraid to distance yourself from a friend that is worth distancing yourself from. You still have your other friends, and just because she was your first friend doesn't mean she needs to be your only friend. Loyalty is worthless in the chaotic zoo that is middle school if you're loyal to a person that isn't loyal to you, or just uses you to vent. If she's clingy, as the people I know who are like her typically are, then feel free to use her words against her. You could tell your friends what she's saying about them and let her know that you're telling them, but I don't know. Good luck, and sorry about all your post's downvotes, I upvoted it to try and help!
Idk Katniss Potter 5 years ago
I can’t really give any advice but I can say that it is ok to grow apart from friends, trust me, I’ve grown way from a lot...
#31
Alkohol: My dad is an Alcoholic, and am afraid am turning to one,. i drink alone, and anytime i feel like. am disgusted afterwards, but dont seem to stop. My memory and sleep and my selfworth are really affected.. but i cant bring myself to ask for help.
Final score:
6points
BusLady 5 years ago
If you are a teen, look into Alateen. Another support group is Al-Anon, for friends and family of people who have problems with alcohol. Alcoholism does have a genetic factor. You are showing early signs. You might be using alcohol as a coping method of dealing with your father's problem. Don't let it continue to progress. Get into a support group.
Karen Scheltema 5 years ago
You don't have to be an adult to be an alcoholic nor is there a min. age requirement for joining AA. If you are concerned that you might be an alcoholic, go to aa.org. They have online resources that can help you with deciding if you have a problem with alcohol. There are 2 basic types of AA meetings: open and closed. If you want to dip your toe in the water, so to speak, go to an open meeting. Anybody can attend an open meeting. If you think you might have a problem and want to talk to other alcoholics, go to a closed meeting. in AA, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. It doesn't matter if you're not sure about being an alcoholic. There are plenty of online meetings via Zoom. AA is structured such that various geographic areas have what's called Intergroup; they keep track of the local meetings and answer phones 24/7, so if you want to talk to someone anytime call there.
#32
Well... I’ve got a lot of stuff: 1. I have two chinchillas, and they’re really great, but I honestly like one more, he’s more friendly and cute. I love them both, but the other is always cranky. Help? 2. I have zero work ethic. Literally none.
Final score:
5points
Grace Kennedy 5 years ago
On the chinchillas, maybe find someone you trust to give the other one too. Don't over exert yourself with chinchillaness. (I don't think that's a word.)
Zoe's Mom 5 years ago
Regarding your work ethic; it may be the job. I realize in the current world climate that jobs may be hard to find but maybe starting sprucing up your resume and get it out there. I too have zero work ethics at the moment simply because I'm not fond/tired of my job and I'm counting down the 2 years until retirement.
#33
I feel like my life is on pause now and forevermore, like I used to find joy in things such as seeing friends and drawing but now I feel like I don't want to do anything, don't feel motivated to do anything, don't like doing anything. I dunno. I'm a different person now. All I do is think about my life and climate change and death and everything wrong in this world. I just can't.
Final score:
5points
Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago
I know how you feel. I have days like this. We just have to look to the future, and hope for the best! Do the best we can to improve the present. I always just pray, and follow COVID procedures, and do the best to find joy in the things I like to do. That tends to work for me. I hope it works for you if you try it. :)
pansexualandproud 5 years ago
hey, we are here for you! just try to take some time for yourself and do stuff you enjoy! we all have our sad periods and I hope you get out of this sad period soon! <3
Justanotherperson 5 years ago
I often feel like this. I always cheer myself up by doing something new- try a new blend of coffee, play a new board game, try to paint. Maybe it'll help u too
sosunlight 5 years ago
This year has been a long road. Congratulations on making it this far. I hope better days come your way soon <3
#34
My ADHD...It's been driving me mad lately. Basically, instead of one "train of thought", I have LOTS of trains that aren't ever stopping at a station and they keep looping and twisting and interrupting each other, so now my train of thought is a giant knot of NONSENSE! And it's been a lot worse recently...I can't do school very well. My relationship with my family is rocky. Idk what to do.
Final score:
5points
Idk Katniss Potter 5 years ago
I can’t really help with this but I can say that my brother and sister have forms of ADHD, my brother’s is anxiety and behavioral, and my sister’s is attention.
Iðunn Ýr 5 years ago
Train your trains. It is super hard. I have ADHD. But it is possible. One train at a time. Focus on something inportant. Write it down on your phone, and make it so you see it every time you are looking at your phone. On your desktop. Take one think at a time. It is not 100% but you can untangle the trains, and maybe get them to a smaller number.
Christel Nellemann 5 years ago
Learn some ways to deal w ADHD, like spending some time with no inputs, like alone, no screens. Like lying in grass watching clouds, just sensing that. I mean , lowering sensory input. Mindfullness is shown to help ADHD, in the beginning it will feel awfull ,and like a tsunami flooding the mind, but it helps truly! There are orher helpfull ways too 🌸 good luck
A Dumbo Octopus (Submission author) 5 years ago
Sorry, man...It just kinda gets more panicked and erratic when I excersize. But thanks for trying to help.
Load More Replies... 
#35
My friend is incredibly violent and will stop at nothing to know your sexuality (which is weird) and I don't know if I should drop her.
Final score:
4points
Justanotherperson 5 years ago
Your sexuality is your personal information. It's also your decision to share it or not. Your "friend" sounds like a person who dose not understand boundries. I say you drop her. U deserve to be friends with someone who undertsnad boundries.
Idk Katniss Potter 5 years ago
If she is incredibly violent then she is a danger to you and others and should distance yourself from her
SHSL Hope Bagel 5 years ago
YES. if your friend is violent, and if she’s making you uncomfortable, you do not need to be friends with her anymore.
Pearl_TheRapperLOL (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thanks guys. This really helps but i dont think you know how crazy she is. SHE LIT A SPOON ON FIRE.
Jessica 5 years ago
Run!! Sounds like she might have mental health issues and you don't want her issues to become your issues. Focus on yourself and move on you'll find better friends that treat you better I've been friends with people for years and I've never ever once ask them about their sexuality or been violent with them
Load More Replies... Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
well if she makes you happy, stay friends, but don't get super close.
#36
i have a screen addiction. Yes, this is ironic. I have spent probably about 2000 hours on youtube. (rough guess) and I have no idea how to stop. i feel like a waste and a faliure. I wish that I could just stop.
Final score:
4points
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
This may seem hard but go outside for a walk, everyday. Go visit friends. If you have a partner or someone who is willing to help you, have them hide your phone or the remote one hour each day. Set a time limit (ex. You have 1 hour of TV and 3 hours of cell phone use every day) NEVER USE ELECTRONICS BEFORE BED! I hope that this helped. I wish the best for you!
Justanotherperson 5 years ago
Why don't u create a shedule? Those helped me a lot during quaartine. Then, you'lll know what u have to be workoing on and hopefully won't watch yt as much.
yosemity sam 5 years ago
Been coping with this one for about 4 months and the best i can offer is try to use screen time as a reward and not just an unearned dopamine rush
Popcorn Colonel 5 years ago
I've been there. I literally just sat on my CB watching youtube for HOURS. This was in the summer. Normally I would be out playing but thanks to corona that became rather difficult. The best thing I can recommend is the schedule. A strict one. It helps if you have a valid reason to stick to that schedule.
FurryPotatoCat (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thank you all for your suggestions and support! I am trying to get into a healthier routine. I have ADHD, so the domapine addiction might be related? Anyways, thanks!
Arctic Fox Lover 5 years ago
Well, try completely unplugging, and removing yourself from electronics altogether (you can do this by lending your electronics to someone you know can take care of them, like your parents or a friend or something. Or you can turn your wifi off for the day). Don't get rid of your phone or anything you need in case of emergencies, but computers, Xboxes or game consoles, anything like that. Slowly but surely, you'll find that you like art or basketball, and develop a passion outside of screens! :D
#37
ive been getting bullid lately, and i know people have way worse problems than this but i just want some ways to deal with them, but they've been pushing me around and im scared if i dont sand up to them soon it will get physical...
Final score:
4points
Emilingo 5 years ago
sadly, as much as this is true, it's also wrong. Adults often don't do much even if you report to them. I've been bullied before, and I just ignored everything they'd say. When they said something mean, I'd just pretend I didn't hear it. If they do something physical, you have to walk away. they can't bully you if you're not around.
Load More Replies... Justanotherperson 5 years ago
Maybe you could report it to an adult? You, or someone else, could tape the bullying taking place and use that as proof if adults questein u. While ur at it, maybe take some online karate lessons or something, or at least know the basics in defending urself. ( or just look at the body's pressure points. Not saying to condone violnce, but protect urself if needed)
yosemity sam 5 years ago
Older siblings if possible. My little brother gets bullied and i would happily scare the s**t out of some little brats for him. If not tell an adult, tell every adult. Tell their parents. If it's at school tell the principle, the guidance counselor, everyone. Based on where i am, other kids would defend you tell older kids who you notice would stand up for people. Also note that other peoples problems don't lessen the value of your own.
i-be-viben 5 years ago
i went through worse in 1st grade cause the bullies did get physical and the teachers did nothing about it but it stopped when i started coming home with bruises and scratches which made the transfer me to a charter school there are still bullies that will bully you secretly and ive been suffering from severe depression
Jackson Allinder 5 years ago
If it is a guy, punch them in the Jaw. run if they are faster. When they catch up drop like a sack of rocks, he falls over you and get up. Run towards him and kick him in the d**k as hard as you can
Idk Katniss Potter 5 years ago
I feel that this might be terrible advice and you should ignore them, but coming from a slightly impulsive 13 y/o, look up some good roasts and roast em goood.
DEKU x TODOROKI 5 years ago
I'm just going to say now that as a 12-year old I know exactly how you feel, I got bullied my whole life. The first thing that might help, depending on what they say, if they say "YOU'RE DUMB" just say thank you after a while they should stop. The second thing I suggest is talking with a trusted adult, like mom, dad, grandma, or grandpa. Just know that I'm here for you and i care! if you need anything just say so! It started to get physical w/ me becuase I didn't stand up to them I just let them push me around, let them walk all over me. So just talk to your parents about it or it'll only get worse.
Ryan Johnston 5 years ago
Ask them straight out next time they are bothering you, "Why are you being a d**k to me? Please stop." Do it in front of Neutral Observers.
#38
My parent's divorce. The house is different, a lot of things I held sentimental are gone, my mom's rules have gotten stricter since he's left. I look at spaces where his things were and it makes me sad. I get sad at random, sometimes for no apparent reason. And I have 2 projects to do. And to make it worse, my own friends sometimes doubt my sexuality and ask very probing questions and it makes me uncomfortable because if i don't answer they say im not who i am, they say its a phase, etc.
Final score:
4points
Harley Hoglin 5 years ago
Your suffering from depression. Seek help, I have suffered with depression for years, even to the point of once wanting to take my life.
#39
I don't know how people can lie to your face even when presented with proof and then be rude to you. How do they sleep at night? On the other hand, I can't sleep, I can't work, I can't eat, I can't do anything if I feel I have been unjust to someone or if I have hurt someone. I can't break anyone's trust, just the very possibility of me being in a position to cause someone to face a loss even if it's $3.00 makes me panic. Recently someone was very rude to me and tried to put the blame on me, I can't be rude back and sometimes I feel like I'm just an easy target.
Final score:
4points
Hailey Hall 5 years ago
soooo sorry i feel the same way sometimes and also its OK to say no its just an awnser!! also if you cannot do that then tell someone or.. tell on them!!
#40
I was bullied all my life, not only be fellow students but also the teachers... simply for being silent and shy - It started when my dad died when i was 5 and kids threw away my stuff, tried to drown me, beat me, locked me into places... yet i was the anti-social one for not playing around with them infront of the teachers... when my dad died his side of the family literally vanished and abandoned my mum, me and my sister... I worked all my life rly hard at school, was alway at top of my class, despite the bullying, got scholarships for good private highschools and was about to attend university to become a lawyer and work hard to repay my mum all her efforts and to stick it to all those a-holes that bullied me and made out lives even harder... but instead of attendind college as planned I got very sick... and the doctors fucked up... that was 12 yrs ago... despite having medical prove as MRIs and such, handicapped support denies me any help, and bcs i can't even get the freacking paper that confirms that i am handicapped I am still only working towards my bachelor's degree... 12 yrs later.... I might finally be able to get it... and bcs of my andicap I can't work, I can't travel, I'm in chronic pain constantly, and due to all that my poor mum still has to support me, she's 65, heatsick and worked all her life like a maniac to support me and my sister... and even now I am just a clutz on her leg...... I feel so sooo angry and frustrated and sad... 12 yrs and I ahve still accomplished nothing... and even if i manage to finally get my degree... who will hire a 32 yrs old criple wo can't work even 6 hrs shifts, has only a BA and no notworthy workexperience (only was able to do a little part time job here and there, like Mc, library, H&M...). Worst thing is, nobody believes me when I say that I am handicapped and in pain bcs on the outside I look normal, with clothes on..., nobody knows that bcs of my handicap i gained 20 kilo i can't shed and have to take a bunch of meds and can't do anything that i used to do or would love to do... i literally lost all my friends bcs of this 8wo apparently weren't rly friends to begin with) and eventhough i have a wonderful boyfriend who is willing to support me (eventhough he sometimes forgets i am sick too) I just feel guilty... for shifting the burden from my mum onto him... he deserves better... Every day I just keep going bcs I can't possible let my mum down even more... once she's gone... idk... we will see i guess...
Final score:
4points
Justanotherperson 5 years ago
I can't even imagine the situation ur in. Just remember that u have people who r willing to support u!
the oreo 5 years ago
that is an extremely tough situation you are in there- you must be super strong to be dealing with that. but you are not a let-down to anyone, and you are not your illness/handicap! it's alright to feel sad, too. take care of yourself. +it's also alright to fall back on the people who love you sometimes. good luck and I wish you the best <3
WhiteFluff (Submission author) 5 years ago
of course I meant my mum is heartsick... not heatsick ><
#41
Honestly, all the thoughts and prayers people have sent Trump when he and Melania came down with covid-19. How should I put this? wishing him well means wishing harm on all the people who will be harmed by his continued ignorance. They're now saying an estimated 400k+ will die because of this, and he's doing everything he can to spread it faster. his wellness is coming at the cost of hundreds of thousands of others, and that's on just one thing. (okay, just for the record, that study is including loosely-explained deaths and attributing it as 'related to Covid'., more or less.)
Final score:
3points
Harley Hoglin 5 years ago
As he and the first lady knew they have it and still went and exposed some many others. Well I believe they both should be charged with, wreckless endangerment for everyone they exposed. Assault charges for everyone that gets sick, and murder or at least manslaughter for each person that dies. They knew they have it and chose to endanger all those people. That's if they even have it. Because he would lie to try and get people to feel sorry for him.
Rick klein 5 years ago (edited)
Never ever ever wish anyone harm. If someone is blessed you dont like, pray they get MORE blessed....it is good for YOUR heart.
danielw (Submission author) 5 years ago
actually, they're assertions that they do hold trump in their thoughts and prayers, not actually thoughts and prayers. my original point still stands, however: well-wishing for Trump is consequentially wishing harm on... a truly shocking number of people.
Load More Replies... #42
Hey fellow pandas, The fact that I think I'm ugly is eating me up. Sadly, we live in a world where people are judged by the way they look. I recently DM'd a guy wondering if he wanted to meet for coffee and I was (nicely) rejected. The guy seems great but I feel like he said no because he thinks I'm not pretty enough. I feel lonely and feel like I need an SO in my life, What do I do? I have this need to feel pretty but I just feel like I'm ugly and I don't know what to do.
Final score:
3points
ISpiltLipstickInYourValentinoBag 5 years ago
I feel ya! I can relate to this so much but no matter what YOU ARE GORGEOUS AND HAVE POTENTIAL! You may not be pretty to others but you surely are beautiful to me :)
Justanotherperson 5 years ago
Learn to love yourself before finding someone to love you. You should work on your confidence a little bit. You are amazing,talented, and beautiful. If u don't except that, then no one else will. I'd suggest writing one thing that u love about yourself everyday. Eventually, you'll love everything about yourself. and then someone else will too. You go, Marya!
Jon S. 5 years ago
I've been in that boat. Dating websites were a godsend for me. You get to chat with people for a little bit before meeting and make sure you are on the same level and have the same interests. One rejection is nothing to worry about, let that be the catalyst to casting your net wider. God knows I would never have had the courage to speak to my wife if I hadn't had a brutal knockback the week before.
Idk Katniss Potter 5 years ago
I know that everyone you see on the internet is fake and such, but I have kinda the same problem, I know deep down inside that I am at least slightly beautiful, but sometimes I just don’t believe it. What I have done is, dress in a way that compliments your features and personality the most, I wear a baseball hat and my hair over my ears framing my face, I dress athletic when possible. Try it.
DEKU x TODOROKI 5 years ago
What you do is forget what people think, the best person you have in your life is YOURSELF, the most beautiful person you have in your life is YOURSELF. Don't let anyone get you down, tell you that you are ugly, don't even think twice in the mornings when you're putting something on. Own every curve in you, believe that YOU ARE beautiful and amazing and the haters can just keep hating. <3
#43
One thing that frustrates me is navigating Bored Panda. I seldom get back to post where I commented or someone responded. I'd like to be able to respond to people who commented on something I wrote. Clicking notifications or comments under my profile just takes me back to the first post in the list. Sometimes, when I'm in the mood, I will scroll through the 60+ posts, but that gets old.
Final score:
3points
SHSL Hope Bagel 5 years ago
yeah, same. i’m currently trying to find my response to this post, and IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR HALF AN HOUR WTF
Jessica 5 years ago
Yea it's hard to find them! I'm knee deep right now lol with little knowledge that I have about app and website I know that it can be hard to add on extra commands onto an Interface without either starting from scratch or doing add ons according to the "language" it's complicated coding
#44
My teacher mom is very stressed due to online learning and i feel so guilty about it. :( The fact that people think teachers are slacking off doesn't help either. She up till 2:00 and i feel really bad. What should i do
Final score:
3points
Jessica 5 years ago
Show your mom you appreciate her do extra chores help out with meals. Maybe on the weekend give her a foot massage paint her toenails and tell her she is your hero and you look up to her.
Hailey Hall (Submission author) 5 years ago
thanks :) I didn't really think abaout that :D
Load More Replies... Justanotherperson 5 years ago
Honestly teachers are amazing. So many teachers are struggling to get used to teaching from the intent, and so many students are being assholes about it. Tell ur mom that I think she's a hero.
Hailey Hall (Submission author) 5 years ago
This comment has been deleted.
Load More Replies...
#45
I'm depressed as I dont know what im going to do during my autumn break...
Final score:
2points
Jessica 5 years ago
Do self care...whatever them means to you... make your fall break about you and taking care of yourself inside and out... eat healthy exercise sleep in create art read take long hot baths or do yard work clean your space make a list of goals mediate learn how to say hello and good bye in different languages.... the list is endless...learn to bake or cook help a stranger ask and elderly person if they could use your help cleaning or just talking... even if you don't feel like doing anything laying there and thinking about how you want your life to go it's just as productive.
#46
Zoom. It is so annoying. The lagging is unstoppable.
Final score:
2points
i-be-viben 5 years ago
i have gotten so many bad grades and missing assignments from zoom and it lagging
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
Yessss! Plus its hard to keep two tabs open at once and for some reason, it makes me feel really unorganized!
Tessa Gray 5 years ago
Omg i get you. Sometimes I feel like throwing my Chromebook out the window I get so angry
#47
Today my sister started to get annoyed at me just because I was goofing around with my best friend? SHE cannot boss me about so I got some bruises :(
Final score:
2points
#48
I fell guilty for crushing on my friend. He and I (both guys, I'm trans. if anybody is wondering). He shares feelings for me and we have made out, cuddled and all that. But I feel guilty asf for liking him and all.
Final score:
2points
Justanotherperson 5 years ago
Why should u feel guilty? Unless he's in a relationship i dont think u should feel guilty for anything. Wishing u the best!
DEKU x TODOROKI 5 years ago
are you trans from boy to girl or girl to boy??? ((you don't have to answer just curious X] ))
DEKU x TODOROKI 5 years ago
Wait what?! Why would you feel guilty about that? Your feelings matter so do his, I don't know if I missed something but....you shouldn't feel guilty about that. If you say that you guys have made-out and cuddled then there is no reason to feel guilty,
Popcorn Colonel 5 years ago
Don't Feel Guilty! You are with an amazing guy, who cares if ur a guy as well! Enjoy it!
#49
the fact that the person I like has a girlfriend and didn't tell his best friend.((me)) Also, he still flirts with me from time to time, I feel like im just a back- up gf... anyone knows how I feel????
Final score:
2points
Popcorn Colonel 5 years ago
Men... Sometimes they don't know how they are making you feel. There could be a lot of things happening, but yes we know how you feel. As Jessica said, he probably does like you but doesn't want to botch your friendship. Honestly talking to him about what is going on might help. I wish you luck!
DEKU x TODOROKI (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thank you! Your comment helps a lot.
Load More Replies... Jessica 5 years ago
He is a man they don't know either... probly likes you but fears it will ruin your friendship.
DEKU x TODOROKI (Submission author) 5 years ago
well... UPDATE... He is not talking to me now....
Jackson Allinder 5 years ago
(Joke) Maybe Kick him in the balls, they will go to his brains and he will work again
Load More Replies... #50
There is this guy Sam (not his real name) who I really like. A lot. And I want to tell my friends, but they would all either make fun of me or be mad because they don't like him. And my only friend who I could tell just told me he likes me so now I can't tell him either, and I really just want to tell Sam I like him, but I don't know how, and I don't know who he likes, or even whether or not he is single, but it's so hard to keep this to myself when every time I see him all I can think of is me holding his hand, laying on his chest, snuggling next to him at marching band when I get cold. I just wanted to let this out. Thank you for taking the time to read this and listen to my stupid 14 year old problems
Final score:
2points
Popcorn Colonel 5 years ago
These problems are not stupid, I am thirteen and have the same ones. I know Corona might mess this up but if you think telling him how you feel would make things better than go for it. It's ok to be embarrassed if he says no, but almost everyone is having or has had these emotions, basically you are not alone. Just tell him, it's probably the only way to get these feeling in your chest.
Jessica 5 years ago
Bring him a treat and just ask him about his interests get to know him let him get to know you! To your other friends who will get mad.... those who mind don't matter and those matter don't mind.
Audrey Hjerpe (Submission author) 5 years ago
My friend does matter to me a lot though, and the reason she doesn't like him is because he said something kind of homophobic a couple years ago, and me and my friend are both bi. But I don't think he meant it, and I don't think he is actually homophobic
Load More Replies... DEKU x TODOROKI 5 years ago
Hey, same. There was this new kid at my school about 3 years ago. His first year I thought he was a compliment dork, second year, whenever I saw him I would get really sweaty palms and have basically a tomato face... In his third year, he started dating my best friend, so I guess I lost my chance. But now I can't stop thinking about me and him holding hands in the hallways... I don't know how to tell my best bc she is also my cousin. And since COVID hit our miserable life me and him have been talking more and more... I have absolutely no clue what to do... ...
Grace Kennedy 5 years ago
Girl I TOTALLY know how you feel. I've had a crush on a family friend for quite some time and my friends like him but so do like half of the girls in my grade. Just tell him. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. And if he doesn't like you back well then he doesn't deserve you sister.
Audrey Hjerpe (Submission author) 5 years ago
But if he doesn't like me back, it will make our friendship weird after that
Load More Replies... #51
I feel like a an idiot. When my grandfather died my mother also lost her job so we had to move in with her friend who I love but I know she won't be alive by 2021. My cat went to live with my friend who has cancer and got sick from the cat hair so the cat went to the mothers said friend's son but he died a few weeks after and I lost it. 4 months later my dad died of similar cancer my grandfather did but i didn't cry at all because was an asshole to us, he left when I was younger after hurting us, stealing from us, and drinking too much. After his funeral I saw my family after 7 1/2 years on his side. I feel like a dick for crying over a cat not a day. Also when my poor lil Dusty (Cat) died, I was at a summer 3 day 2 night trip. idk why but I had panic attacks every night and wanted to go home but my mom was at home without gas money and it was a 4 hour drive. Not too long after that my Girlfriend swallowed a handful of pills and I have nobody. My motto is A meme a day keeps the depression away and you can't cry if your laughing so I try to be funny all the time. If you like memes add me on insta if you want (Jackis2c00l4u_), I really don't know why I wrote my life story but I really needed to tell someone, this is a lot for a 14 year old to handle (I turned 14 on October 6th) So adios, and if you see this and add me please tell me because I really want someone to talk to. And please forgive if I spelled wrong, I wrote this kinda late at night.
Final score:
2points
Idk Katniss Potter 5 years ago
I wish I had insta, my parents will never let me get it tho, I’m 13
Jackson Allinder (Submission author) 5 years ago
Yeah, I understand. I had convince them, so I wrote an argument. I never thought Debate class would've helped me. Lmao
Load More Replies... Popcorn Colonel 5 years ago
You've been through a lot... I get that. You seem like an amazing person. If being funny works for you then I might have to give it a try! The BP community is here for you. Just try your best to keep a smile on your face, trust me it helps. Think positive when you can and remember, there is always someone who loves you and cares about you, so don't think otherwise. <3
DEKU x TODOROKI 5 years ago
well hey, if you need anything just ask, okay? I mean yea im like 12 but I might either know how to help or know how you're feeling. My aunt, uncle, grandma, and grandpa died, I got bullied my whole life... I went through depression, so if you need anything and I mean ANYTHING, just reply to any of my comments and I'll try my best to help you! :)
Popcorn Colonel 5 years ago
You are one of the most inspirational and heartwarming 12yr olds I have ever met. The fact you went through all of that and are still trying to help others is making me smile. Keep doing what you are doing.
Load More Replies... Hailey Hall 5 years ago
awww sorry. Looking on the bright side... you can always talk to the people in the comments! :)
Jackson Allinder (Submission author) 5 years ago
Them: Are You Gay Me: Nope Them: Gay means Happy Me: Did I stutter bish
#52
that I am pansexual and I have bad anxiety so it's hard for me to tell anyone. :/
Final score:
2points
SHSL Hope Bagel 5 years ago (edited)
what i did to come out: truth or dare. ask someone that question, and someone will probably ask you the question, since you already gave them the idea. works every time i need to tell anyone anything
SirPatTheCat 5 years ago
What I did was just make it painfully obvious haha. I don’t know if this would work for you depending on your parents, but I started doing things like getting rainbow things, dressing differently, and doing my hair differently until everyone got the hint
#53
FRICKIN PANDEMIC + QUARANTINE
Final score:
1point
Obi Wan Kenobi (Submission author) 5 years ago
Well he was bad at playing the floor is lava. Good days.
Load More Replies... #54
I'm on the verge to suffer from depression because of my annoying parents. 2020 is supposed to be the year to be independent, but the whole coronavirus situation with the misinformation and the political corruption taking place with my demanding studies, destroy any expectations and hopes i have.
Final score:
1point
Justanotherperson 5 years ago
This, too will pass. And when it does, you could move out and be independent. And, if u don't mind me asking, is ur relationship with ur parents strained?
#55
I recently came out as bisexual but only to my best friend. Two of my siblings are bisexual as well. I dont know how to tell my parents. My mom and dad are divorced and have been for 7+ years. My dad is a racist sexist homophobic trump supporter. I don't even know how to tell him :(
Final score:
1point
That Hockey kid 5 years ago
Same, except I'm out to my dad, who is a trump supporter. he isn't homophobic or racist, so i wasn't worried. But here's the main thing, and take these factors into consideration. 1: will you get kicked out? 2: are you financially dependent? Will they withdraw support if you are getting it? if you are young enough, like I was 12 when my dad was told by my mom, and he didn't bring it up to me. 3: if you feel like he will love you unconditionally, go for it. He might even forget until you date same sex people. Just some advice, do what you think is right. You don't even have to tell him.
the oreo 5 years ago
coming out is not necessary! it is absolutely your choice to do so and you can come out at any time (if you want to, of course!) even when you're 87. and if you're still feeling stuck, there are so many people in the same boat (sup. lol.) and you are not alone. plus, people can learn- i had family like that too but they have gotten so much better. good luck and I believe in you!
#56
I'm a sensitive person, my sister and her friends tease each other in "friends"wise to make each other feel better, she does this to me but it just makes me feel worse. What do I do?
Final score:
1point
#57
regrets. there are so many ridiculously good people in my life and I'm so, so lucky to have them, but every day I think that I'm too mean to them. or i'm not good enough for them. so I beat myself up and then try to get better but it always just ends up with more regrets. idk what to do but I love them all and I hope that I can stop worrying lol.
Final score:
1point
Popcorn Colonel 5 years ago
Just be yourself, I know that sounds stupid but it's true, you seem like a wonderful person. All that matters is that you love them, now you just need to find a way to show it. <3 (flowers, a nice note, chores done early or doing their chores for them?)
Justanotherperson 5 years ago
They are as lucky to have u in their lives just like u r lucky to have them in ur lives. Why don't u just tell them, straight on, how much u love them? Thats honestly the best way for them to know that u value them.
#58
How do you tell someone they are beautiful without it being weird and awkward? especially if you really like this guy, but nobody knows that. But he has seemed kind of sad lately and you just want him to know how amazing and smart, and kind and beautiful he is, and how he is almost perfect. But also, I don't want him to know I like him. Soo... help please
Final score:
1point
Jon S. 5 years ago
Why don't you want him to know? Guys generally like bluntness. Try this "I was chatting with my friends about who is the most beautiful people we know, and you know what? I think it might be you"
Audrey Hjerpe (Submission author) 5 years ago
If he knows, then pretty much half the school will know, and last time I liked someone, I got made fun of about it for more than a year, and even now occasionally, and I don't want that to happen again, and especially not to him
Load More Replies... #59
So, back a long time ago in 4th grade I was sitting my desk. Since the people at my table loved stealing each others pencils, pens, etc. I thought it would be funny if I took someones folder and hid it in my desk. So I did. And I got back to work doing what I was doing, like nothing happened. But I didn't realize that the girl I stole the folder from (of course I would give it back) was crying in the hallway. I felt so bad and it still eats me up to this day.
Final score:
1point
SirPatTheCat 5 years ago
Do you think that girl is still upset? Even before, do you think she was upset because she thought it was missing/stolen etc, or because you made a mistake? I think she was upset because she thought it was missing, not at you, and therefore there is no reason for you to still feel bad :)
#60
I just recently confessed to my crush that I liked him. Because of Corona, I had to do it via Gmail. Well, we aren't from the same state the only way I know him is because our parents are friends, so we sort of grew up together. I remember the day when I looked at him and instead of seeing one of my best friends I saw a boy. A cute, sweet shy boy. I had a crush on my friend! I felt so gross and weird. I felt this way before any of my friends even started to. The boy I liked, who had been shy originally, began to withdraw himself from me and my sister whenever we got together. I told my friends about him and they were confused, how could I see anything in him. But I do, am I wrong. I don't know. I'm just a kid in middle school this all feels so wrong. And worst of all, he never responded to that Email, I would know I check every day... But still no reply. :-(
Final score:
1point
DEKU x TODOROKI 5 years ago
I'm sure he just probably has a lot on his mind, depending on what grade you & him are in, he could have school problems and then putting COVID -19 on top of that, then finding out your friend likes you...trust me I know how it feels. yesterday a really good friend of mine, basically a brother to me, said that he likes me. I was shocked and supprised cause I mean he was like a brother to me so it felt weird... id don't know if this helps but if you have any questions just reply to any of my comments... :-)
Popcorn Colonel (Submission author) 5 years ago
Thank you. I once had a friend confess his affection to me. It was really weird. I guess I sort of needed to see his side of things... once again thank you!
Load More Replies... 𝓴𝓪𝔀𝓪𝓲𝓲_𝓐𝓾𝓭𝓻𝓮𝔂 💖 5 years ago
The part about "I'm wrong" Your feelings are not wrong. When COVID19 ends, maybe try to tell him in person!
DEKU x TODOROKI 5 years ago
trust me saying that you like someone in person is the hardest thing to do, some people have glossophobia. Which may be hard to do because well one you're talking in front of someone on top of that you might not know what to say, you have a lot going through your mind like "oh no he's gonna hate me" or "damn what am i doing, why am I about to do this?!" AND ON TOP OF THAT depending on what there click is they might not like you back, NOT saying that he won't like her but im just saying imagine what could be going through her mind if she does it in person AND WHO KNOWS WHEN COVID WILL END. she could be waiting for a response for another year or 4 you never know what's ahead.
Load More Replies... #61
I asked my crush to be my first kiss. I know he likes me and I’m fairly certain I like him but he said no. How do I get over the embarrassment???
Final score:
1point
Popcorn Colonel 5 years ago
You're just too awesome. It often scares boys away when you are that open about it. Don't worry we have all been there! You WILL get over it. I'm sure he's just as embarrassed as you are.
Hailey Hall 5 years ago
O-O Yeah... he aint deserve you. Also it happens to everybody. That is something people will give you empathy about, you shouldn't be embarrassed
#62
Covid???
Final score:
0points
#63
In Utah if you are not registered as a republican you cannot vote in the primary elections... a lot of people do not know this. It's unconstitutional and never addressed.
Final score:
0points
Jessica (Submission author) 5 years ago
https://www.sltrib.com/news/politics/2020/05/26/some-utah-democrats/
Curry on... 5 years ago
I had to look that up. From what I've read, it appears that you must declare a party if you want to vote in a primary, which is whether you're republican or democrat.
Jessica (Submission author) 5 years ago
Yea no duh and democrats don't get to vote in the primaries in Utah unless they register as a Republican... This is not common knowledge. I'm serious people!!!!!
Load More Replies... Harley Hoglin 5 years ago
As far as I know every state has two primary elections on the same day. One is for Republicans and the other is fo Democrats. Sometimes they are in the same building, but neither makes you register for one party or the other. They do stamp your card here in Texas voted.
Emilingo 5 years ago
What????? That can't be true. How did you hear about this? Because I bet somebody just planted that rumor.
Jessica (Submission author) 5 years ago
I read about it as I was trying to vote in the primaries.... as a democrats. It's not a planted rumor.
Load More Replies... #64
I have some sort of problem. i don’t know what it is. my best guess is bipolar depression, but i honestly don’t know. my family thinks i have depression, so they sent me to therapy. it doesn’t help. they really don’t understand. i don’t need, nor want help. there’s nothing they can do, what i really need is Ren. heh... i really hope my family doesn’t read this, y don’t know about ren. ren is my amazing crush who also likes me but we haven’t actually formed a relationship. wow. i meant for this to be a few sentences, but it’s turning into a novel. sorry. anyway, i don’t think they can help me. no matter how much love and attention they try to give me, ive never been comfortable with that much physical contact from adults. i don’t know why. i just prefer hugging my friends, or talking to them, also, i jumpstarts had an idea. maybe, it’s better to open up to your friends, because they’re probably around the same age as you, and haven’t fixed all their problems yet. then, you have someone to figure it out with you, instead of someone to tell you about your past problems and suggest the solutions that helped them, because... i lost my train of thought. hopefully you get the point. WOW i typed a lot. sorry! bye!
Final score:
0points
Jessica 5 years ago
I'm going to assume you're a teenager and all of this is perfectly normal part of development. socializing with your friends is a lot more important than your parents at this time of your life and that's okay. Bipolar disorder is an incredibly complex mental illness and unless you're showing some signs of that I wouldn't assume you have it...https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355955
#65
After having my first baby, I realized that I have wasted the last decade with someone who didn’t want the same things as me. I wanted children young so I could spend more years with them, I wanted to live on the coast, I wanted to pursue acting, I wanted to travel, I wanted to be able to say goodbye to my Grandma before she passed away. None of these things happened because I gave up my dreams to be with him. I have ruined my life and I do not know how to move forward.
Final score:
0points
#66
I want to have children. I feel the urge to have them. At the same time, I see the state of the world and feel envious of my parents because they'll likely die before me and won't see that much destruction because of the climate change. And I feel like it's selfish and cruel to bring more people (that I'll care about most in the world) into it. But also everyone around is having children like it's no big deal.
Final score:
0points
What do you think ?
Kristin Ingersoll 5 years ago
The children sharing their names and emails are making me really nervous. Please, if you've shared your email, delete it now!! This could get very problematic. I want you to get support, but possibly creepy strangers on the internet are NOT the right people!!!
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
yes I didn't post, but I commented and tried to help people out the best that I can. I can't understand why someone would down vote another person's cry for help! A few of these people have talked about committing suicide and you can't offer them a bit of advice or a kind word, but you downvote? Wow. That really shows.
Load More Replies... Among Us 5 years ago
This is a strange question but how do you make a post like this? How do I make an ask pandas post?
Zoe J. 5 years ago
I already commented this, but ironically, it got downvoted into invisibility. Here's the gist: WHY ARE PEOPLE DOWNVOTING FOR NO REASON??? This is a post to get stuff off our chests in a safe place, not to be bullied for our guilt!! What in the world, people?
Kristin Ingersoll 5 years ago
The children sharing their names and emails are making me really nervous. Please, if you've shared your email, delete it now!! This could get very problematic. I want you to get support, but possibly creepy strangers on the internet are NOT the right people!!!
Sent From The Slytherin House 5 years ago
yes I didn't post, but I commented and tried to help people out the best that I can. I can't understand why someone would down vote another person's cry for help! A few of these people have talked about committing suicide and you can't offer them a bit of advice or a kind word, but you downvote? Wow. That really shows.
Load More Replies... Among Us 5 years ago
This is a strange question but how do you make a post like this? How do I make an ask pandas post?
Zoe J. 5 years ago
I already commented this, but ironically, it got downvoted into invisibility. Here's the gist: WHY ARE PEOPLE DOWNVOTING FOR NO REASON??? This is a post to get stuff off our chests in a safe place, not to be bullied for our guilt!! What in the world, people?
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