Just vent and talk idc.
This post may include affiliate links.
Tired...
Yesterday, I became self harm free! I am happier than I’ve been in a lOOOOng time.
It's friday night, and friday night is cider night.... When it's cider night, I'm doing alright.....
I took my dog to the vet for an allergic reaction to a flea bite. She was diagnosed as having multiple allergy problems (the new one we weren't prepared for is her possible food), a small fatty tumor has developed on her chest, she somehow has staph (wasn't specifically told how but the vet could apparently smell it), and her good eye (the other has a well-settled cataract that blocks most all vision) has problems with it requiring we find a specialist. I knew she was getting old but this was a lot to be hit with this morning and I have a bag of medications to organize and start using for her.
On the positive side, she has no arthritis/joint problems at the moment.
I was slapped by someone I really dislike, and I was trying to control my homicidal rage, so I guess today could’ve started off better, but no, I got slapped in the face, and I felt like I was just punched in the stomach. So to sum it all up, it’s going s**t, today is a shitshow.
its friday im in school. i get annoyed at people who make funs at catholics im also insanely tired
Really really bad, I almost got fired from my daycare job yesterday
Oof, this is the worst time of year to be hit like that. I'm glad you hung in there.
I had a rough day at school yesterday. I feel like i embarrassed myself (everyone reassures me no one noticed by I’m not certain) and I have a headache from how much I cried yesterday and I want to go home but I can’t unless I’m sick and I’m not
WARNING! THIS IS LONG!
Not doing very well at the moment. Depressed, stressed, worried etc and this weather the past few months is making me hurt worse than normal.
The past few years have been really rough, but it started about 15/16 years ago. First I got diagnosed with chronic fatigue. I'm was a mom of 2 active kids, didn't worry. Then I got fibromyalgia, then arthritis, degenerative disc disease, spinal stenosis and finally get diabetes. - all this in less than 10 years. Then, 3 years ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma). Totally treatable when caught early enough. I was dead center of the different stages. Because of my chronic illnesses, my youngest really got the short end of the stick. 7 years between kids and she got me being sick - a lot. We had HUGE plans for her senior year. Then, cancer. It wiped out our savings, but we made it through. Work on repairing my relationship with her has been slow. Then, last December 10th, my husband had what they call a "widow maker" heart attack on his way to work. With me disabled, and him not working for a few months, the little we'd saved was gone again. Finally paid off my medical bills and now have his. On October 7th, he had a massive stroke. Luckily, he had stayed home that day and my parents & I were able to get him treatment in less than 45 minutes for the clot buster medication. Life flighted to a larger facility where emergency surgery removed the clot. We're extremely lucky that all he needs is speech therapy! But once again, no income. Living with my parents since my cancer and they are paying everything right now. I have a 15 month old grandson and a granddaughter due December 26th. I have no money, no prospects, etc. I craft so I've made some decorations I'm trying to sell just for Christmas gifts. Between caring for him, trying to wade through the paperwork, trying to get him disability, I've neglected some of my own health issues. But there are only so many hours in the day, you know?
Thanks for letting me vent.
I am in the ER, as I have been, for the past three hours and fifteen minutes and I have still not gotten helped. I got bit by something while I was outside, the bite welted up, I popped it (I know, I know, I shouldn’t have), I waited a few hours and then the skin started falling off, I knew this was NOT NORMAL, so I went to the hospital and the doctor sent me to the emergency room (he said whatever bit me was venomous), and here I am. Waiting.
Sigh. I feel like I'm feeling something that does not have a name.
Feel free to vent or to talk abt anything
It was a difficult year but I am doing a little bit better day by day, thank you for asking! How about you?
My throat is sore :(, but we had a maths test that went well so that's nice!
My life sucks but I can't explain anything because my stepmom is stalking my bp account rn.
Yesterday there was a photo on (what I guess is called) my Google feed. It seriously screwed with me. Like, never thought about something with this level of F ed up. Just needed to vent since I don't use FB.
Tired. So very very tired
Actually I had a really good day. This woman I work with and I had had trouble working together. But we've bonded over pranking a mellow dramatic jerk that we both hate. And turns out, we have alot in common besides wanting to annoy our coworker.
Weird tbh..
The past few months have been a absolute roller-coaster. My emotions were just everywhere. We moved from Texas to Florida. It sucked packing up and moving away. Arriving in Florida I knew nobody. (We went home school about 4-5 months before we even knew we were moving.) And literally none of my friends know I live in Florida now. I don't know what they would say, or what I would even say! My relationship with my family was a little wonky from emotions, and I was almost always in my head. I was just super depressed, Like we moved around before, a lot actually. (My dad was in the military during the beginning of my childhood, thus we moved a lot. ) I think it might have been hard cause we lived in Texas longer than anywhere else. The memories, both good and bad, were no longer physical. So definitely hard on me.
Another thing that was super stressful was the fact that my mother deemed me as the most "responsible" . It all started in Texas. I picked up cleaning as a past time. I would listen to music and just clean for hours. My mother loved it. My father loved it. I loved the attention. I no longer had to beg and plead for attention. I had the world in the palm of my hand. Sounds kinda funny, but when you are the second oldest of five children with a mother who loves perfection it makes a little more sense. All my siblings hate cleaning so me picking it up after years of hating it, it changed how things worked. It made things somewhat easier. When we moved to our new house however my mother wanted my help the most. I don't have good patience, nor do I work well under stress/pressure. I was on the verge of collapse. With stress I would procrastinate, and my mom would remind me to do stuff constantly. I wanted to be the"perfect" daughter, and the role model sister. It was so hard but we just kept going.
I want to talk about the way I feel but every time I cry. I cry like a baby, and I hate crying cause I feel weak. Therefore I don't talk about my emotions. Also my siblings if I tell them they tell my parents and they twist my words and I get in trouble. They also take my words in normal conversations (that they aren't even in) and mixed them to sound bad. Now I shut my mouth and am very careful with everything I say. My mom is getting better with understanding and so that is good. I still can't defend myself without crying though, so I just except punishments I don't deserve. I know eventually I'll snap if I don't start slowly letting it out. I don't want to, and I know it will break a lot of things. . I don't know what to do. I have tried writing, but again, the paranoia . Like what if my siblings find it and tell. I love them all. My mom, my dad, sisters, and my brother. Really I do. I opening up to opportunities again, but my emotions other then happiness (and slight anger) is off limits. Any suggestions?
I want to go to a dog show in St. Louis but I can’t because I have to study for exams.
The last couple weeks have been absolute hell. Thankfully I actually don't feel bad rn and it's just calm. I haven't started the day yet but later on I'm going out with a friend of mine =)
