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Friends Accuse White Woman Of Cultural Appropriation, Ask Her To Straighten Natural Afro, She Snaps
Interview With AuthorPlayful curls, lustrous waves, or silky straight, there’s so much variety in hair types all over the world! And although you can style your hair the way that you want, you don’t really get to decide the type of hair that you are born with, do you?
Just like Reddit user Reasonable-Ebb-5721, who was a Caucasian with a natural afro, and all her friends knew about it. But one day, they suddenly accused her of cultural appropriation. And when she snapped back at them for being born that way, they all just left.
More info: Reddit
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The poster of this story was a Caucasian woman who had a natural afro and her friend circle consisted of people of color
Image credits: wayhomestudio (not the actual photo)
Since they had all known her for quite a few years, they were well aware of her natural afro
Image credits: u/Reasonable-Ebb-5721
Image credits: KoolShooters (not the actual photo)
One day, they unusually started talking about cultural appropriation and she felt that they were all looking at her in a weird way
Image credits: u/Reasonable-Ebb-5721
Image credits: Nataliya Vaitkevich (not the actual photo)
One friend even said that it was weird how she was white yet had an afro, and they told her to get her hair straightened
Image credits: u/Reasonable-Ebb-5721
Stunned by this, she snapped at her friends, who then looked disappointed and disgusted by her loud tone and left
In today’s story, the original poster (OP) was a Caucasian woman whose close circle of friends were almost all people of color. And as they had known her for long, they were well aware that she had a natural afro. Usually, when they all got together, they spoke about political or societal topics, but never about cultural appropriation.
However, one day, when they were chatting, they brought up cultural appropriation and the issue of afros popped up. Well, our poster was sympathetic about the topic as she felt (just like most of us) that someone trying to mimic the hairstyle of people of color was kind of offensive. So, even though she nodded along to the topic, she didn’t really contribute much.
But then, she felt that people were looking at her weirdly. And as a survivor of social anxiety, she shrugged it off, thinking it was her insecurity kicking in. But the looks and stares just kept intensifying till one of them actually said how weird it was that she had an afro despite being white.
Well, OP was surprised as they all knew it was natural. But things didn’t end there, folks, because even others joined in and went overboard by stating that she was adding to racial tension and that she should straighten it. That was a pretty mean thing to say, so she just snapped and retorted loudly, “I’m sorry I was born this way.”
Some of her friends looked disappointed, while the others gave her disgusted looks and they all just left. Probably feeling confused about the way she retorted, OP vented online and asked Redditors whether she was in the wrong.
Quite a few Redditors opened up about how even they were white and had natural afros. They mentioned that she shouldn’t have to change her natural self just to please others, no matter the reason. Some even said that her friends were not even aware of what cultural appropriation meant and were just accusing her without any reason.
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Britannica states, “Cultural appropriation takes place when members of a majority group adopt cultural elements of a minority group in an exploitative, disrespectful, or stereotypical way.” From the definition, it’s pretty clear that OP was not being disrespectful as it was just her natural hair.
Bored Panda got in touch with the original poster, who mentioned that it was very challenging to see how the whole situation affected her perception of herself. That’s quite sad to know, isn’t it? After all, she’s just a 19-year-old girl who was already struggling with social anxiety!
However, when we asked her about what advice she would like to give to someone stuck in a similar situation, she was bold enough to say, “Try to talk things out before jumping to conclusions, but also make sure not to sacrifice yourself in this process.”
Research shows that 65% of Americans say it has become more common for people to express racist or racially insensitive views in the past few years. So, we can understand why anti-racism is important. But, a Redditor also mentioned, “A lot of people who are intending to be anti-racist end up going so far they end up in racist territory.”
And this seems true for OP’s friends as people concluded that their statements towards the poster was racist and highly inappropriate. Many suggested that she should end ties with such people. However, she commented that it might have been a misunderstanding, so she was going to talk things through rather than just end it, as these friends had been with her through tough times.
However, OP informed us that she reached out to her friends through text to explain how she felt and sent them the post but they did not respond to her, yet. She thinks it unlikely that they will. It seems quite sorrowful that a conflict erupted over such a thing. But alas, you can never know what life will throw your way!
Well, now that you know the whole scenario, feel free to jot down your thoughts in the comments!
Redditors called out her friends for their hostile comments and suggested that she shouldn’t have to change her natural self just to please someone
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What do you think ?
P Peitsch 1 year ago
This cultural appropiation thing had gone wild-wild-wild-wild-wild-west in the USA. Did I already mentioned 'wild'?
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
Just wanted to say the same 100%. There's a huge difference between dressing up with a bone in your hair and a loincloth making unga-bunga noises pretending to be African or just having an afro or braids. It's just hair, sharing hair styles should bring us closer together, not drive us apart. I mean, I as a white person am not offended either if a black woman dyes her hair blonde and straightens it. Everyone should have the possibility to look the way they want and feel pretty without such unnecessary judgement.
Load More Replies...
Donkey boi 1 year ago
Actually, the bit that got me was the 'can't really add to it as I am white'. If you feel that way around your friends, I hate to tell you, but your friends have made you feel that way and are racist. So you're not allowed an opinion on something because of the colour of your skin? Every person, of every colour, ethnicity, sex, nationality is entitled to have an opinion on any subject and to share it, anyone that tells you that you can't weigh in because 'you're not one of us'... Well, we have a word for that, it's 'bigot'.
Thanos'Fingers 1 year ago
How do you weigh in on experiencing racism if you've never experienced racism? Doesn't make what they said in this instance right, but if a black person is telling you how scared they were at a traffic stop and you respond with "ya me too bro", they will find you ignorant at best.
Load More Replies...
Igor914624 1 year ago
Your NTA. You are wearing your hair naturally. They would never say the same thing to a black girl that straightened her hair and dyed it platinum blonde.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago (edited)
I have similar hair. I’ve even posted pics on BP before of my hair XD It’s “relaxed” a bit as I’ve gotten older, but when I was young it was VERY tightly-curled and often sort of “poofed out”. My pediatrician once even made a VERY inappropriate comment about my potential ancestry (I’m adopted) that I have remembered for 30+ years (the comment wasn’t inappropriate because I’m ashamed of what races might be in my history - it was inappropriate because he used a racial slur). I used to get teased and bullied for my hair. It’s sad that OP is going through this. IMO those “friends” AREN’T friends, especially since they know darn well OP’s hair is naturally like that. And even if it WAS a style/perm/etc - do hairstyles “belong” only to certain cultures or races?
Jan Dunn 1 year ago
White cultures have worn braids black cultures have straightened their hair or worn braids or worn it natural people should just wear their hair the way they wear their hair it has nothing to do with cultural appropriation
Thanos'Fingers 1 year ago
It's only cultural appropriation if you wear a VERY large clock on a long chain around your neck. Outside that you're good.
Load More Replies... notlikeyou1971 1 year ago
NTA - I wouldn't change a thing about myself to please others if I were you. They know that you have were born with this hair texture/ style. It's only since this political ideology that's been shoved down ppls throat that ppl are making a big deal about it. They should not be shaming you for your natural appearance. They should be ashamed of themselves for their behavior. They are the AHs
WindySwede 1 year ago
And what if it cultural honoration? I can see if it's mocking a ethnicity. If clothing or appearance. But here it was by birth? *darn genes!* let med get CRISPR! /s
Load More Replies...
Toothless Feline 1 year ago
“Cultural appropriation” is rarely used to refer to actual cultural appropriation, which is using elements of other cultures as if they were your own and not acknowledging where they came from. Just making use of something associated with another culture is not appropriation. Also, using cultural elements to mock that culture (such as with cultural stereotype Halloween costumes) is not “appropriation”—it’s ignorant and insulting.
iseefractals 1 year ago
The only upside to the rise of this cultural appropriation nonsense, is that it's a rock solid indication that those making the complaint are best cut out of your life.
Glasofruix 1 year ago
This "cultural appropriation" BS is starting to get old. There is no such thing, and certainly not because someone's "fro" is wrong because they have the "wrong" skin colour. Seriously EVERYTHING is offensive to those f*ctards, stop engaging them.
P Peitsch 1 year ago
This cultural appropiation thing had gone wild-wild-wild-wild-wild-west in the USA. Did I already mentioned 'wild'?
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
Just wanted to say the same 100%. There's a huge difference between dressing up with a bone in your hair and a loincloth making unga-bunga noises pretending to be African or just having an afro or braids. It's just hair, sharing hair styles should bring us closer together, not drive us apart. I mean, I as a white person am not offended either if a black woman dyes her hair blonde and straightens it. Everyone should have the possibility to look the way they want and feel pretty without such unnecessary judgement.
Load More Replies... Donkey boi 1 year ago
Actually, the bit that got me was the 'can't really add to it as I am white'. If you feel that way around your friends, I hate to tell you, but your friends have made you feel that way and are racist. So you're not allowed an opinion on something because of the colour of your skin? Every person, of every colour, ethnicity, sex, nationality is entitled to have an opinion on any subject and to share it, anyone that tells you that you can't weigh in because 'you're not one of us'... Well, we have a word for that, it's 'bigot'.
Thanos'Fingers 1 year ago
How do you weigh in on experiencing racism if you've never experienced racism? Doesn't make what they said in this instance right, but if a black person is telling you how scared they were at a traffic stop and you respond with "ya me too bro", they will find you ignorant at best.
Load More Replies... Igor914624 1 year ago
Your NTA. You are wearing your hair naturally. They would never say the same thing to a black girl that straightened her hair and dyed it platinum blonde.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago (edited)
I have similar hair. I’ve even posted pics on BP before of my hair XD It’s “relaxed” a bit as I’ve gotten older, but when I was young it was VERY tightly-curled and often sort of “poofed out”. My pediatrician once even made a VERY inappropriate comment about my potential ancestry (I’m adopted) that I have remembered for 30+ years (the comment wasn’t inappropriate because I’m ashamed of what races might be in my history - it was inappropriate because he used a racial slur). I used to get teased and bullied for my hair. It’s sad that OP is going through this. IMO those “friends” AREN’T friends, especially since they know darn well OP’s hair is naturally like that. And even if it WAS a style/perm/etc - do hairstyles “belong” only to certain cultures or races?
Jan Dunn 1 year ago
White cultures have worn braids black cultures have straightened their hair or worn braids or worn it natural people should just wear their hair the way they wear their hair it has nothing to do with cultural appropriation
Thanos'Fingers 1 year ago
It's only cultural appropriation if you wear a VERY large clock on a long chain around your neck. Outside that you're good.
Load More Replies... notlikeyou1971 1 year ago
NTA - I wouldn't change a thing about myself to please others if I were you. They know that you have were born with this hair texture/ style. It's only since this political ideology that's been shoved down ppls throat that ppl are making a big deal about it. They should not be shaming you for your natural appearance. They should be ashamed of themselves for their behavior. They are the AHs
WindySwede 1 year ago
And what if it cultural honoration? I can see if it's mocking a ethnicity. If clothing or appearance. But here it was by birth? *darn genes!* let med get CRISPR! /s
Load More Replies... Toothless Feline 1 year ago
“Cultural appropriation” is rarely used to refer to actual cultural appropriation, which is using elements of other cultures as if they were your own and not acknowledging where they came from. Just making use of something associated with another culture is not appropriation. Also, using cultural elements to mock that culture (such as with cultural stereotype Halloween costumes) is not “appropriation”—it’s ignorant and insulting.
iseefractals 1 year ago
The only upside to the rise of this cultural appropriation nonsense, is that it's a rock solid indication that those making the complaint are best cut out of your life.
Glasofruix 1 year ago
This "cultural appropriation" BS is starting to get old. There is no such thing, and certainly not because someone's "fro" is wrong because they have the "wrong" skin colour. Seriously EVERYTHING is offensive to those f*ctards, stop engaging them.
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