If you thought muscle jokes were some kind of power jokes, think again, because what I actually meant here were literal muscles. The ones we often forget to train in the gym. It’s okay, we’ve all been there… multiple times. But whether you keep promising yourself you’ll start working out next Monday or actually do plan the rest of your day around scheduled gym sessions, you will definitely appreciate some fitness jokes.
Jokes about fitness can be a great motivation. Everything seems much easier and more pleasant if you can have a good laugh about it. And let’s be honest, there are plenty of situations in the gym that ask for creating some exercise jokes.
Even if you have never been to the gym before (it’s okay, I get it), working out jokes and gym puns might be the reason you break that habit and actually sign up for a session. Personally, I am not the biggest gym rat you’ll find, being more of a swimming pool/dancing cardio person, but each time I realize a trip to the gym is inevitable, finding a bit of fitness humor does help a lot.
So before you talk yourself into your next workout or if you genuinely enjoy fitness and exercise, I suggest you take a look at the jokes we collected for this article. And don’t forget to let us know in the comments about your gym habits.
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"While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill. People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead."
"It’s been six months since I joined the gym, and still no progress! I’m going there in-person tomorrow to see what’s going on."
"My bank just called me about suspicious activity on my account. They didn’t believe I bought a gym membership."
"I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time."
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii.
It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
"I asked my trainer at the gym if I could start shadow boxing. He said, “Knock yourself out!”"
"I asked my girlfriend to meet me at the gym but she never showed. I guess it just wasn’t working out."
"I always start my gym sessions with 20 minutes of stretching, pulling, and bending. Then I’ve finally got my gym clothes on and I can start my workout."
"I’ve found running is a great way to meet new people. Unfortunately, they’re normally paramedics."
"I’ve been going to the gym for five years now and I still don’t have abs. It sucks being the cleaner."
"I just saw real a real idiot at the gym. He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill."
"My first week in the gym was great. I lost 10 lbs already. I have no idea where I put those weights."
"I just signed up for a 12 month membership at a gym. My bank called wondering if my credit card got stolen."
"I started using this new machine at the gym. But after an hour, I got really sick. It had everything though: chips, Oreos, the works!"
What happened when the personal trainer brought a bear to the gym?
His clients got ripped to shreds.
"I asked a personal trainer “Do you need to eat chicken to get muscles?” He said “No whey!”"
Why does the trainer at the gym have to keep getting new clothes?
Because people keep telling him he’s ripped.
A man walks into a gym and asks the receptionist, “What machine should I use to impress women?”
She responded swiftly, pointing outside the door, saying, “The ATM machine, sir.”
What’s the easiest way to get a six-pack at the gym?
Take the beer from your fridge and smuggle it in.
A gym junkie is counting loudly in the gym as he does bench presses.
“1! 3! 5! 7! 9!”
Says another gym-goer, “Do you even lift, bro?”
To which the gym junkie replied, “Nah, I only lift odd, bro.”
"I joined a gym 6 months ago and still haven’t lost a pound. Tomorrow, I’m heading down there in person to find out what’s going on."
Did you hear about the marathon runners who got married?
It started out as a long-distance relationship.
A British man made a New Year’s resolution to lose some weight, so the next day he signed up for a gym membership.
He never went once, but he still lost £.
"Last time I went to the gym I hopped on the treadmill, but people were looking at me funny so I decided to run instead."
"I’ve been lifting weights for a week and I already dropped 25 pounds. Unfortunately it landed on my big toe and broke it. Guess I can’t go back to the gym until it’s healed!"
"I always avoid the gym for the first 3 weeks of the year. Which is really no different than what I do on the other 49 weeks."
"I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 500 pounds! The only problem is I’m British."
"I’ve been squatting at the gym. I sleep in one of the lockers. So far I haven’t been busted."
"I’ve been going to the gym for six weeks now and I have noticed some huge improvements. For one, they’ve fixed the vending machine."
"I have been hitting the gym recently. I'm not getting fitter, but my hand is getting darn bloody."
"I got kicked out of my gym in the middle of kickboxing class. Turns out they do not have kickboxing classes."
"My gym instructor advised me to wear loose clothing while exercising. I would not have joined the gym if I had any loose clothing."
"There's a police officer at the gym I'm going to. I asked him to stand behind me on the track so I run faster."
"I was suspicious or my girlffriend cheating on me with this guy from her gym. So i pick up her phone at night when she's sleeping. And drive to this dude's place on the other side of the town and go to stand on his porch to see if the wifi connects."
"I did 100 crunches at the gym today... but they threw me out because I was getting crumbs everywhere!"
"Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body. I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was.""
Sit-ups are the best type of exercise for lazy people.
You get to lay down between each one!
A girl saw her boyfriend flirting with other girls at the gym.
She walked up to him and said this isn’t working out.
Why did the depressed man start doing bench presses?
He had some things he needed to get off his chest.
Seven bodybuilders have been found dead in a gym.
Police are on the look for the mass murderer.
"I went to the gym on my own Accord this morning. I mean why would I take someone else's car?"
"While at the gym a good looking woman approached me and asked me, “have you tried skipping?” I replied, “like with a rope?” She replied,“no like skipping a meal.”"
"My friend has been going to the gym, because people kept calling him "fat" and "ugly". Now they just call him "ugly"."
"I got into an heated negotiation with someone on offerup over some gym equipment. Hopefully it works out in my favor."
"I just created a fitness app for insects. It's going pretty well, although I'm still working out the bugs!"
"I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me: "Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it." I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump."
"I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym."
"I called the local gym and asked if they could teach me gymnastics. They asked, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Mondays or Fridays.”"
Did you hear about the pumpkins that went to the gym?
They wanted to become jacked-o-lanterns.
If you run in front of a car you might get tired, but if you run behind a car you’ll get exhausted!
Why was the burglar popular at his gym?
Because he always did a great job wiping down his equipment.
Why is it a good idea to do your workout in the morning?
Because you can get it in before your brain wakes up and realizes what it’s doing!
"Yesterday at the gym I heard someone trying to convince a bodybuilder that yoga is a workout. He thought it was a bit of a stretch."
Why didn’t the physical therapist want to talk about his muscle fatigue course?
It was a sore subject.
A man got hired as a personal trainer, but when he realized he wasn’t qualified he had to put in his too weak notice.
An instructor was walking around a gym and saw a man doing crunches while holding a cat.
“What are you doing?” the instructor asked him.
The man said, “I’m trying to get purrfect abs!”
"I started going to the gym in my tuxedo, everything went well except the weight lifting. It’s not my strong suit."
"I forgot to bring my protein powder to the gym today. I guess I should’ve prepared whey in advance."
You know the best part about being the only person at the gym that uses a speed bag?
There’s no punchline.
"Started going to the gym and I dropped 10 pounds very quickly. Thankfully the dumbbell missed my foot."
"Some girls at my gym were saying I was related to Bruce Lee. I had to politely let them know I wasn’t, and my name isn’t Ugg, either."
If the corporate building for a company is called a headquarters, what do you call the gym?
Bodybuilding.
"I was pulled over while driving home from the gym. The officer said "you've been swerving all over the road, have you had anything to drink?" "Yes" I answered, "but only two light beers." As he saw the two empty kegs in the back he said "those don't look like two light beers!" I replied "perhaps you should work out, they're only about 16 kilos each.""
"A friendly reminder that gyms get really busy around the new year as people make their resolutions. So it’s best to wait for it to die down, usually around January 2nd."
"I went to the gym to practice my comedy routine but nobody found it funny. It was a tough crowd."
An American is exercising in a gym.
"This workout is intense," he huffs. "My heart is pounding."
"Eh?" says a fellow next to him.
"Oh sorry, I forget that you're European. My heart is 'kilogramming'," he replies.
"Oh yeah same," says the European.
"It would be great if menus listed burpee equivalents instead of calories. Like, if you have that pumpkin spiced latte, you might as well get down and do 367 burpees."
Friend No. 1: Why do you like going on night runs so much?
Friend No. 2: The added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio.
Have you heard about that new gym that sends trainers to your door unannounced?
It’s called Jehovah’s Fitness.
Did you hear about the guy weightlifting on Wall Street?
He was hoping to get some capital gains.
"I went to my local self defense gym and asked if I can take two classes today. They said, "No, you can taekwondo.""
"My first time in the gym went really well! I did 20 minutes of cardio, 10 minutes on the defibrillator and 3 days in hospital!"
"My account said I'm crazy for investing all my money in my idea of building a business that offers a boxing gym, a dentist, and a manicurist all under one roof. But I told him I'm going to fight tooth and nail for it. Now if I could just think of a clever name for it, I'd be all set..."
"I was passing gym class with flying colors until we got to the skiing unit. It was downhill from there."
Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym. After they were done, they sat together in the locker room.
One turned to the other and said, "I'm sore, eh?"
The other said, "What for?"
What's the difference between garbage and a home gym's weights during the COVID quarantine?
The garbage gets picked up once a week.
"I was looking for a gym one day, and I saw a sign saying "Fitness that way". So, since this seemed promising, I went down the hall, and there were more signs. I went up the stairs, walked through the hall, went up two stairs, walked through two more halls, walked down three stairs, walked out of the building, walked around the building, went into the building, went up ten stairs, walked through five halls, walked down eleven stairs, went up one stairs until I reached a sign which just read: "End of Fitness.""
A man moved into a new apartment and was telling his work-out buddy about it in the locker room.
The buddy asked, “Is there a gym in the building?”
“I don’t know,” the man answered. “I haven’t met everybody yet.”
Two guys meet at the gym to play handball. They start changing, and one guy notices his friend is wearing a sexy black bra.
He says, “When did you start wearing that?”
The other guy says, “Right after my wife found it in my car.”
Jack checks out of his hotel after 3 nights, but can't believe the size of the bill.
Jack: "Why so much?"
Manager: "It's not just the luxury bedroom, we also provided you with a swimming pool, gym, games room..."
Jack: "But I didn't use any of those!"
Manager: "Maybe, but you could have!"
Jack takes a pen and a seat, adjusts the bill and presents it to the Manager.
Jack: "I've deducted 3 nights of intimacy with my wife."
Manager, spluttering: "I never had relations with your wife!"
Says Jack: "Maybe, but you could have!
