Man Gets Accused Of Being Possessive And Controlling For Referring To His Wife As “My Wife”

Now, before you start reading today’s story, I’m going to ask you just one question: “Who was the weirdest dude you’ve ever met?” You know, the conversation was completely fleeting, but the memory of it remained for years and years.

And while you’re reminiscing, let me introduce the user u/FatFaceFaster, who, many years ago, unexpectedly took heat from a random guy simply because during small talk he called his wife… well, ‘my wife.’ So let’s move on to the story itself.

More info: Reddit

The author of the post once went to a tree nursery for work purposes and encountered a rather strange guy there

Image credits: Vera Arsic / Pexels (not the actual photo)

While having a walk across the nursery, the man asked the author how he came to this business – and our hero was being quite talkative

Image credits: FatFaceFaster

Image credits: LinkedIn Sales Navigator / Pexels (not the actual photo)

The point is, at the time of the story, the author owned a small gardening business with his wife – and he told everything to that dude

Image credits: FatFaceFaster

Image credits: Greta Hoffman / Pexels (not the actual photo)

At one point the man just wondered why the author kept calling his wife ‘my wife’ and not by her name, and literally called him out for ‘being possessive’

Image credits: FatFaceFaster

The author says that this situation happened years ago – but it’s forever ingrained in his memory

So, the Original Poster (OP) says that the situation he described happened years ago, but every time he remembers it, he can’t help but react like “What the hell was that?”

The author of the post and his wife owned a small retail garden business at the time. The lady, whose name is Julia, knows her way around flowers, and her spouse, being a golf course superintendent by trade and having a horticultural science degree, is a great complement to her in all things lawn-related.

Our hero told some random dude about all this and much more when he came to the tree nursery to pick some plants by hand. During small talk, the guy asked how he and his wife had come to this business, and the OP, being a rather talkative person, was only happy to tell their story in detail.

Of course, the tree nursery guy didn’t know the author’s wife, so every time he mentioned her, the original poster said just “my wife.” And since the wife’s role in their business was so important, it’s not surprising that this phrase appeared a couple of times in his speech.

And so, at some point, the interlocutor muttered to our hero: “You say that all the time – ‘my wife,’ as if you own her. Why not call her by her name?” The OP was taken aback – he reasonably believed that if he had said ‘Julia’ in his speech, the guy would hardly have understood who he was talking about.

However, after that, the OP specifically called his wife by name for the rest of the convo with this strange guy. The conversation, however, as you probably already guessed, didn’t go well after that – so the original poster tried to quickly finish his business and leave, feeling surprised, to say the least.

Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko / Pexels (not the actual photo)

Well, I guess the key to understanding here will be two things: should the use of possessive pronouns be considered an exclusive designation of ownership, and should the author’s interlocutor be considered a weirdo? As for the first question, the answer is unequivocal – no.

First, possessive pronouns indicate not only ownership, as the Duolingo blog claims – but also a close level of relation or communication with someone. For example, if you say that yesterday you went to ‘your barber’ or nail artist, does this mean that they are in your possession? Of course not.

Secondly, when applied to relatives, it’s not so much a possessive pronoun as a conditional word that ‘cuts off’ a lot of other people who fit the basic definition (mom, dad, wife), but who don’t have a close relationship with you (your mom is also a mother, but she’s not my mom). As for the second question, let’s turn to the opinions of the commenters under the original post.

And they are almost unanimous in their belief that the original poster encountered a really strange dude. “What a weirdo. That woulda brought out my sarcasm,” one of the responders wrote. “Some weirdos call everyone by name even when you have no idea who the [hell] they’re talking about,” another person added.

And, of course, people in the comments absolutely agree with the OP that using possessive pronouns doesn’t make you some kind of insatiable owner. “I think it’s pretty clear that English speakers use ‘my’ in ways that do not suggest possession,” here was probably the best verdict from the commenters. And do you, our dear readers, also agree with this opinion?

People in the comments cracked up at that weird guy, and assured the author that he’s not ‘a man of property’

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