Guy Refuses To Spend $10k On An Engagement Ring, Gets A Reality Check Online
It’s vital that marrying couples are on the same page when it comes to important questions. Like values, family, and finances. And, yes, engagement rings fall into the latter category. If one partner wants to save money and the other opts to splurge, there’s bound to be friction.
Redditor u/Dry-Body-7578 went viral on the AITA subreddit after sharing how he and his girlfriend got into a big argument. The OP wanted to propose to her with a less expensive ring. Meanwhile, she wanted him to go all out and get her a proper, traditional, diamond band. The man asked the internet for advice and got a ton of useful feedback. Scroll down for the full story.
Bored Panda got in touch with Sam Dogen, the author of the bestseller ‘Buy This, Not That: How to Spend Your Way to Wealth and Freedom’ and the host of the Financial Samurai blog. He was kind enough to share his perspective on buying engagement rings, as well as what couples might want to consider investing in. You’ll find his insights as you scroll down.
Many couples think that diamond rings are the way to go when proposing
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
One man wanted some advice after arguing with his girlfriend over how (in)expensive her ring should be
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: serhiibobyk (not the aqctual photo)
Image source: Dry-Body-7578
The man kept an open mind and was willing to admit that he was wrong
From the get-go, it was very clear that the author of the post, redditor u/Dry-Body-7578, kept an open mind. Unlike some AITA posters, he was strongly considering the idea that he may, in fact, have been completely in the wrong.
And after an intense discussion on Reddit, he acknowledged that he’s reconsidered things. He then shared that he planned to speak to his girlfriend about the issue properly. At the core of all the advice the internet gave him lies the fact that a diamond ring is incredibly important to the man’s girlfriend. That’s what he should focus on, not the price. Especially considering all the emotional and financial support she’d given him in the early stages of their relationship.
The OP was willing to spend $1.5k to $1.8k on the ring. Meanwhile, his significant other wanted a band worth $6.5k to $10k, which is a significant investment. According to The Knot, the average cost of an engagement ring in the US is around $6k. But the actual price of the ring isn’t what matters.
“It’s much better to invest in real estate or stocks as opposed to jewelry and diamonds”
Image credits: Elias Jara (not the actual photo)
“If a couple is already arguing about how much to spend on an engagement ring and what type of engagement ring to buy, it’s a red flag!” Dogen, the author of ‘Buy This, Not That’ and the founder of the Financial Samurai personal finance blog, told Bored Panda via email.
“Couples need to talk about their finances before getting married and plan for the future. As the couple grows wealthier, they can always ‘upgrade’ to a nicer engagement ring,” he shared his perspective.
“Here’s my modern-day engagement ring buying rule for couples who want to come to an equitable decision on what to buy,” Dogen said.
Bored Panda wanted to get the personal finance expert’s thoughts on diamonds and jewelry as forms of investment. In his opinion, couples might want to look for alternative investment paths.
“Engagement rings, jewelry, and diamonds aren’t considered investments, for the most part. They are considered luxury items people don’t need,” the Financial Samurai host said.
“However, there are some jewelry pieces that are rare that may appreciate in value if you buy select pieces that are limited in supply and are designed by well-known designers. But those jewelry pieces may already be expensive to begin with,” Dogen said.
“It’s much better to invest in real estate or stocks as opposed to jewelry and diamonds. An investment should generally have an income component to it, which jewelry does not. At least with real estate, it generates rental income and provides utility!”
Engagement rings and diamond jewelry are big business
What’s more important is proper communication, being on the same page, and finding a ring that has deep emotional significance. A hundred-dollar band can be just as powerful as one encrusted in diamonds. Similarly, just because someone wants a diamond engagement ring does not mean that they’re shallow or materialistic. Every couple’s situation is unique.
The diamond engagement ring market is massive. Apviz points out that it accounted for $28.6 billion in 2019 in the United States and Canada. Meanwhile, according to a recent report by Grand View Research, the global diamond jewelry market was equal to $340.6 billion in 2022. It is projected to grow to $352.2 billion in 2023 and $482.2 billion by 2030.
There are lots of different reasons why people buy diamond engagement rings. Not only are they beautiful to look at, but they also signify a partner’s lifelong commitment. After all, not everyone can afford such an expensive piece of jewelry, so buying it symbolizes that you’re in the relationship ‘for real.’
Others might buy diamond rings for their partners because it’s the traditional thing to do in their family or culture. Others still might not actually value diamonds all that much, but they feel pressured to conform. It’s vital that you only go for diamonds if you and your partner think it’s the right decision, not because your friends did the same thing.
There are plenty of alternatives to diamond rings if you feel they’re not for you
Image credits: Katerina Holmes (not the actual photo)
However, if you decide that a diamond ring isn’t for you, there are plenty of alternatives. For one, you can go for a lab-grown Moissanite ring like the OP initially wanted. You could also opt for less-expensive gemstones if diamonds are out of your price range. If you have any family heirlooms, you could use those to propose as well, to carry on the tradition forward.
Alternatively, you could go for something far more personalized. For instance, instead of a gold band set with a diamond, you could find a skilled ring crafter who specializes in non-traditional metals. Some folks even go for wooden engagement rings which look very impressive but are harder to work with. At the end of the day, it all comes down to your creativity and the values you and your partner hold nearest and dearest to your hearts.
And if you do get into an argument over engagement rings or anything else, it’s important to remember that you’re on the same team. Instead of trying to prove how very right you are and how incredibly wrong your partner is, try to focus on the problem. Explain how you feel, but instead of blaming your partner, look for a compromise that works for both of you.
One of the hardest parts of any argument is setting your ego aside, staying calm, and actively listening to your partner. If you’re ignoring their perspective and waiting for your turn to speak, you’re doing things wrong. Take the time to cool down and revisit the topic in the near future when you’ve had a chance to rethink things.
Most readers thought that the guy was a jerk, but they offered him some sincere advice
This pisses me off that he got YTA comments. As a woman, I think he is right, no one is worth a £/$10,000 ring. That amount of money can do so many other things for you as a couple. Unfortunately for most women, the ring is all about showing it off. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable walking round with that amount of money on my hand. I also do not really like jewelry and wear a simple silicone band, I don't have to worry about it being damaged or stolen and it doesn't get in the way of me going about my day.
This isn't about what you personally would want. I'm a woman, and I don't want a traditional, pricey ring either. She doesn't ask for anything and supported him when he needed it. This is her one thing she wants and is asking for, and will wear every day for the rest of her life.
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*She* may be worth £10,000 but no diamond ring is. Diamonds are not rare and their cost is deliberately driven up by De Beers stockpiling them. Not to mention the environmental and human rights cost of mining them. I genuinely don’t understand why we, as a society, let De Beers (and the few other companies, but mostly it’s De Beers) romanticize them. I am absolutely not saying we shouldn’t like and appreciate diamonds - gem stones are beautiful - but I don’t understand ascribing such ridiculous values to them when they’re not rare.
Thank you! I'd much rather have a beautiful colored gemstone than an overpriced piece of carbon. Padparadsha sapphires are my absolute favorite!
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I am seriously shocked by the amount of YTA comments, even more so because of the reasoning behind it. Has the wedding and diamond industry really managed to ingrain the need for an overpriced diamond ring so extremely that it is not socially acceptable any more not to buy it? Engagement rings are not even a big thing in other countries. The focus elsewhere is more on wedding rings, but even then, the average ring is about 1000 Euro or less in countries like Germany. The "three month's salary" rule common in the US is based on nothing more than a bad advertising campaign by diamond seller De Beer back in the Sixties.
If he hadn't said she wasn't "worth it," people would have been much kinder to him I think.
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Disagree. He's NTA. 10k on a ring makes me feel sick. You care for someone because you love them! Been married for 15yrs and together for 26yrs. Love should always be the main focus
Been married for 22 years, and never had an engagement ring. Never even cared about having one. We both just have plain gold bands that we put on each other’s finger at our wedding (which was very small). The only thing my husband did was make sure to buy thicker, more solid gold bands, so they would last for decades, because gold is a soft metal. He also got them engraved on the inside. Our rings stay on our fingers. In fact, when my husband got his caught on an engine part and it got too mangled to wear about 10 years ago, he went right out and bought one of those rubber rings (or whatever they’re made of) because he said he felt naked without his ring. I took the mangled ring to the jeweler and had them fix it. Luckily, the mangled part didn’t affect the engraving. I still had the original ring box it came in, so I put the repaired ring in it, wrapped it up, and put it in his Christmas stocking. He was ecstatic to have his original ring back. It went right on his finger, and hasn’t been off since. The MARRIAGE is what’s important, not the ring, or the dress, or the reception, or the honeymoon. I wish more people realized that.
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Wow, so much wrong. Including in these comments. Yes it's important to her, that doesn't mean it's reasonable or worth doing. To a hoarder, pieces of trash are important to them for their own reasons, doesn't mean you should support them hoarding, or give them more trash. I do agree with communication, WHY is it so important? Does she equate love to ring size/price? That's something that one definitely shouldn't promote or accept. Figuring out a healthy solution is best. I do think rings need to be of quality material to endure daily wearing, and it needs to look nice cause the wearer sees it a lot, but that doesn't mean it needs to be thousands of dollars. I hope the couple figured out everything and I really hope she doesn't think her value and love is dependent on the cost of a ring.
Most 1c diamond rings cost $1500. You have to realise that it is ok to splurge once in a while.
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The YTA comments are stupid. No one needs a $10,000 ring. A ring that can be easily damaged, or stolen. I mean, yea. I had a custom engagement ring made for my wife, but it was not diamonds, and it coast a grand total of about £400-500 (cant remember the exact number) which is expensive enough, never mind adding several thousand on top of that! At least if anything happens to my wifes ring, it's easily replaced by contacting the jewellers who made it and within a few months of saving, easy to repay for. $10,000 can go into much more important things than a ring. Save for your future together gdi.
Most 1 c diamond rings cost $1500. The 10k is the highest amount he saw.
Load More Replies... The comments about "she'll be wearing it 24/7 for the rest of her life" are interesting. My engagement ring was £3000 and I barely wear it because I don't want to lose it or get mugged. When we talked about getting married and ring budget, I said "£500 sounds good". He replied "I was thinking more like £5000". It's important to some people as a symbol of commitment and as something you will keep long term. If you can afford it, and she really wants it, then yes, I would say go for it. Either way, this couple need to communicate honestly and openly about things. The way they're doing it now is no good.
But you are not her and is not about you. As he described her she doesnt ask anything, she deserve this.
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NTA. Nobody needs a $10,000 ring. Diamonds are a scam, anyway — but that's beside the point; the same would apply if it was a platinum or gold ring.
I proposed to my now wife with a ring pop on the stroke of midnight 2020/21. A big old hard candy "diamond" on a plastic ring. I did in time get her a diamond ring but we went shopping together and she picked the one she liked. We never did get our honeymoon though because of the pandemic and then the arrival of our little miracle, who as it happens is telling me it's about time for some milk.
Rings are a marketing scheme to sell worthless diamonds. I do not wear a ring, if you need a ring to remind you to stay faithful then you really shouldn't get married. Also that diamond money goes to slavery and wars.
F*** no. NTA. You could throw a wedding for $10,000. I'm a female and this is utterly ridiculous. In today's economy $10,000 is a means of survival. If you love someone why do you need the big huge ring? 10,000 can go towards the wedding. Or go towards a home. Or so many other things. I think this is a serious matter of priorities.
You just told your girlfriend you don't think she's worth money, time, effort, or listening to. Now you're not going to get out of this with a wife unless you go above and beyond on all of those fronts.
This is an engagement ring.... and for the actual wedding he has to cough up another 10k? Or more? The latter is the ring she will wear "for the rest of her life", the engagement ring will end up in a drawer and forgotten. Demanding a ring which is 1/8 of the yearly salary is ridiculous. If she expects him to pay off his "debt" with in daily life useless things, she should look for a husband with a significant higher salary.
Diamonds are overpriced, cruelty sourced, overrated trinkets. I think moissanite is such a much better choice… And they really are a lot prettier.
A diamond ring is the worst "investment" ever. You will never sell the stupid thing so all you're doing is paying a buttload of money for her to wear until she decides she needs a new one in 10 years. If a man ever spent that kind of money on me for a stupid ring, I would sell it immediately and use it as a down payment on a good horse.
I don't understand all the YTA comments. I got engaged with a £40 ring. I was more than happy with it. It wasn't the cost that made me happy, it was what the ring promised and that was a life with the one I loved. I'd be annoyed if my fiance spent more than £500 on an engagement ring let alone £10,000 even if they could afford it.
Jesus why does a diamond ring have to be 6500 to 10k?! Mine was £3000 and it's a real diamond with REAL little diamonds on the band. Ridiculous honestly that anyone would even expect that amount but at the same time - he's going to cheap out and not even get her a real Diamond?! I'd be upset if I was here too
I think he said that it is 10k to garner sympathy. A 1 carat diamond ring costs roughly 1200 euro or 1500 usd
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Did everyone forget about "blood diamonds"? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_diamond
Well, although I agree diamonds aren’t actually worth how much they are hyped, they aren’t actual coal though. C’mon, don’t be silly.
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Diamonds are a scam. They are not rare and aren't worth anything on the secondary market. Spending that kind of money on shiny rocks is excessive. If my partner didn't understand how I felt about that, I would reconsider the engagement.
What's with all the YTA? A $10K diamond is, at the most, worth $2500 because that type of jewelry is marked up astronomically. Then there is the Debiers problem, blood diamonds, etc. Are we ever going to go away from the "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" trope?
NTA. I told my husband to not waste money on a rock. He would happily have spent more but we are happy we could use the money on other things as we are trying to start our lives together. The prize of the ring does not represent the love and woman should stop treating it like that!! Its a f****d way of thinking. Honestly I appreciate finding an alternative that is equally pretty
Apparently, I would be in the minority … unnecessary spending is the root of financial ruin …
Oh thank goodness you all are not thinking he is TA! I thought my the world has gone mad for a moment there! 10k for an engagement ring? WTF? I would not demand that if I knew the guy is a millionaire!
Wow, I'll just sit here quietly, in the back with my £399 diamond ring...
In any case, finding a genuine love is a far greater achievement than any gemstone in the world.
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Count me amongst the diamonds are a scam crowd. Not to mention that wearing something like that is asking to be a crime victim. And how will she fare with wearing rings? It was only after we married that my wife discovered her fingers are remarkably unsuited to wearing rings--anything that's secure isn't comfortable. It was less than a year and multiple close calls before her wedding ring got relegated to dress-up only.
Over the years developed a culture surrounding weddings, that makes women expect things that seem extremely important. But are they really? My wife was dreaming of our wedding (the ring, the proposal, the dress, the decorating etc.). I didn't think it was important but I obliged because I love her. We spent a lot like many people do. After we started a family and had our 1st child, everything seemed so insignificant to her and it was like she awoke from being under a spell. Society (and the wedding industry) makes us believe all those things are the most important and special. So my opinion is that theres no right answer to this situation (NTA/YTA)
Meanwhile, the one I want is less than $1,000 for the set lol To each their own ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
In normal case I would agree that engagement rings are way too overprized, but since they can easily afford it, and she barely/never buys expensive or fancier things, and seems to live significantly under budget (which isn't a bad thing btw) I think he should absolutely get her the ring she wants. This is clearly something that's very important to her, and him saying that "no-one" which includes her is worth that much really was the tipping point for me. Normally someone would say that you can't put a prize on love or life, but here he is saying that it's bellow a diamond ring. Sure it may be a waste of money, but it's a one time thing and clearly important to her, he has more than enough, so I don't see why he shouldn't get it. I agree with the comments for once. Also he did live off her for months, by no fault of his own to be fair, but seriously him complaining about her expenses on an engagement ring after that comes off a bit icky to me. Not that he owes her, but how he talks about it
How far do you think 80k goes? That's like a month and a half of that salary and that's assuming he has no other expenses and every cent he gets paid goes towards that for that time period. I'm not trying to shame him that is still decent money but things are expensive right now and likely will continue to get more expensive. Spending 10k on a ring is absolutely r******d especially when there will certainly be other upcoming expenses for a couple trying to start their life together. If you wanna waste money at the very least don't give it to a diamond cartel.
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I don't think the issue here is whether or not 10K is too much for a ring, or whether or not diamond/ other gemstones are "worth it". It's about what the gf explicitly says she wants, and what OP explicitly says she isn't worth. If he couldn't afford it or is saving for something else, it's another issue (but he didn't mention it). It also sounds like he is weighing her worth, "is the love and care and job worth me using 10k to repay her?" She never asked to be repaid when she took care of OP. But now clearly he thinks that what she did for him is not worth it. He didn't try to discuss with her on spending less on the ring (maybe she just wants a real diamond, which can cost a lot less than 10k?), he didn't bother to try to see her point of view; he just dismissed her. People, it's not the debate on the diamond industry or should rings cost that much! It's the fact that OP does not choose to understand his gf when she expressed a different point of view than him. He simply judges her.
Im really disgusted by all thr YTA comments. Maybe he could have handled it well, but the fact that she NEEDS a 10k ENGAGEMENT ring. Is absurd. How much is she expecting for thr weddings bands, 100k? IF and thats a hughly questionable if, she had some special reasons why she needed a pricy engagement ring thats one thing but what an absolute failure in her oart to explain that
Ask her if she know where diamonds come from. And why they are considered to be the ‘ideal’ engagement ring.
is she marrying him or the f*****g ring ? this is ridiculous. here's a a thought : buy a 5k ring and add the remaining 5k to the honeymoon budget and make it a grand one. One both of you will remember for a long long time.
I’m not a fancy jewelry person and have only worn semi precious stones set in silver. My husband didn’t get me any kind of engagement ring, we just kind of agreed marriage was the next step of our relationship, and the wedding was more of a party for him and his family and friends. Though now I do almost wish he had made an effort to buy some kind of symbol. We’ve gone and bought $10k speakers for him and other expensive stereo equipment multiple times - it’s like a never-ending and maddening quest. When I met him he was disorganized and lived with his parents. I got his life and finances in order, so we could buy a house of our own. I even took his debt onto mine to improve his credit rating. He’s had all kinds of health struggles I’ve helped him through - emergency surgeries caused by his own negligence & hubris. He’s a challenge & life with him has been a crazy nutty roller coaster. My life and needs/wants have always been secondary. That guy shouldn’t have said she wasn’t worth it
I used to be married to the daughter of a Miami Beach jeweler. Her motto for gifts was, "It's not the thought, it's the cost." Expensive diamonds are a huge waste of money. The markups are like 400% and the cost proves nothing about how much the giver cares about the recipient. This guy should run.
Who is out there getting $6-10k diamond rings? It doesn't have to be huge!
While I understand the YTA comments, and do agree with them to some extent, I do agree that $10,000 is far too much to spend. The good thing for me is that my wife agrees. In fact, she insisted on no ring at all, because it was a waste of money. She said a wedding ring is enough, and we spent about £400 on a pair.
He would be able to fly to my country and buy her a beautiful ring with that much money
YTA. No question in my mind. You make $80K/year, she supported you morally, financially, and medically when you were injured, and asked for nothing in return. You said she generally does not ask for much, but this is important to her. You told her "no-one's worth a $10,000 ring!" You meant she isn't worth that to you, despite it being important to her. The issue isn't whether or not an expensive ring is a good investment. The issue is your money is more important to you than her happiness. Why not just get a Sharpie marker? You'll save thousands.
Might be alone on this but since he said No one is worth a 10k ring it seems more like he was saying the ring itself is the not worth it no mister what or who it's for. I'm surely not worth a 10k ring but a 10k car? That's a resounding yes lol. I don't think him spending 10k is the issue as much as spending 10k on a single ring that doesn't reflect its ginormous price tag.
YTA but only for the comment that 'no one is worth $10K', but NTA regarding the ring issue. as a woman i agree that 10k is an obscene about for a ring. IMO women who insist on this need a prop to show others "look how much he loves me!' a ring doesn't make a marriage. 10k could be used for the wedding or, better yet, small wedding & downpmt on home. the ring is supposed to a symbol love & intent of marriage, not a price tag. itempted to suggest he keep his $ & get another partner. in fact, there really isn't a need or requirement for a ring at all, engagement or marriage. it's a custom/tradition.
I just don't get y someone would want the ring tbh. Diamonds aren't even that pretty
I WOULDNT EVEN WANT 1000 SPENT ON A RING NEVER MIND WHAT LITTLE MISS GOLDDIGGERS ASKING FOR!!
OMG, are you people for real? Why spend so much on a ring! As long as it is a real diamond, it does not matter the cost! Spend the money on buying a house. I find this so stupid.
I like jewelry & gemstones, especially diamonds. My partner & I are in a relationship; I gave him a ring (I designed it) with a high quality 5.35 carats natural Ceylon blue sapphire & tons of accent 0.25 c “D color, F clarity, Brilliant cut” diamonds (total 5.25 carats). He didn't even ask me for that, & he couldn't provide an expensive gift in return. His financial status may not be impressive, but his love for me is unmatched. When we started dating, he had no idea about my real financial status. I played the role of a loser with a regular job & a low income. He accepts & loves me for who I am. My objective is to find a partner who loves me regardless of my insignificance & not just because of what I can afford in life. I'm once surrounded by false people due to my financial status. To me, it's a straightforward decision: If you can afford, your partner deserves & will treasure it, why not? In any case, finding a genuine love is a far greater achievement than any gemstone in the world.
that sounds like a huge amount of money. me and my husband chose my ring together, in a small local jewellers. I'm very fussy about how comfortable a ring is between my knuckles, and never wanted anything that wasn't a nice smooth, low profile. after trying a fair few on, I narrowed it down to the two I thought would be comfortable and practical, but still looked lovely, and told my husband to choose between those two. it was £405. I still remember that. just over a decade ago. (it's a .20 diamond, but a really good quality one, cut and clarity wise, and set very low in the band so it's not snaggy) so the prices seem pretty extreme here.
No one is worth a $10K ring. Engagement rings are so outdated bc they are just dumb. so are elaborate proposals. I question her values if a big ring is important to her. And I'm so disappointed that so many think he's TA.
To be honest, the current prices of diamond engagement rings are massively inflated. I've seen on YouTube a factory producing lab-grown diamonds in Henan, China. It really convinced me that when buying an engagement ring, my main focus should be on precious metals like platinum and white gold. As for gemstones, I can easily go for a more affordable alternative to diamonds, such as moissanite or white sapphires.
There is a place where you can dig your own diamonds. It's a state park in Arkansas. The two of you could spend a day digging and get just about any size diamond - if you find one. Read up on it.
If she's only happy with a certain ring then call it off. She's just a gold digger. Love has nothing to do with material things. It shouldn't matter if it's a $10k Diamond or a silicone band. If she puts that much emphasis on the ring then it won't be long before she'll adopt a line a friend used to use, "rings fill no holes". I hope I don't have to explain that to anyone.
I have a moissanite ring and I LOVE it! But I WANTED a lab-grown ring because diamonds are sold at highly inflated prices and there's always a chance it's a blood diamond (even though I live in a country that mines its own diamonds and has unions). Moissanite is almost as hard as diamond and a bit more sparkly - and totally lab-made.
Simple solution: Don't get married, and put the money towards a house.
Female here. OP is definitely NTA, and all the women on here saying he is make me sick. $10K is ridiculous to spend on a piece of jewelry.
Just so people who have not walked into a mall in their lives know, a 1 carat diamond ring costs an average of 1500 usd. Which is reasonable for a ring. The 10k is likely there to garner sympathy. Learn how to do research.
I think it doesn't matter what ring you get or how much money it is(i mean like just as long as it isnt like really really cheap) but yeah
I always thought it was hilarious/crazy that people want/expect expensive rings for an *engagement*. Aside from the artificial rarity/value of diamonds, it's not even a wedding ring.. That being said, he sounds like he was completely dismissive of her thoughts/feelings on the matter, which is not good at all.
Was about to NTA but the supportive thing broke it a bit, if she helped you like this she deserves a bit more. Yes the Engagement ring doesn't need to be above 5k but shouldn't be far below it. The Wedding ring tho, it better blings.
Ok. I'm gonna say it. She is priceless if he loves her. But the ring isn't worth that much. I think if they are well off and want to splurge, THAT's the kind of thing you can splurge on. Ideally, you only get one, so you might as well go all out to get exactly what she wants if you can make it happen. Are there things they COULD spend that money on that are more worth the price tag? Sure. But I cannot judge their financial decisions. I'm not them. I don't think spending "too much" here is going to break them financially. In the end, if anything it will give them an opportunity to grow in their communication with each other, which is always a good thing. NAH.
My wife wanted a 1 carat diamond for a ring. We looked at several stores and they ran $6-9,000 dollars. This was back in the 80's. I was just about ready to spring for one, when I saw a jewelry store sign that said, "Going out of Business last day". I hit the brakes and went in. They had several 1 carat diamonds and the lady behind the counter said, make us an offer. I picked out a round cut ring that was priced at $7,000 dollars and offered her 10% of the rings cost. She said she didn't think they could go that low, but went in the back to check. She came back out and said the lowest they could go was $1,500 dollars. Deal. My wife and I have been together for almost 40 years now and she still loves her ring. Bargains are out there; you just need some luck and determination.
In any case, finding a genuine love is a far greater achievement than any gemstone in the world.
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YTA - for the "not worth a £10,000 ring." comment, not for not wanting to spend that much on a ring. That comment is always going to sound like "you are not worth £10000 to me". That would p**s anyone off, particularly given your high salary, and the history of her supporting you. She may even be wondering "Would he invest £10,000 in medical care and physio for me if I was in an accident?" Have a talk where you listen to each other, and you apologise for sounding like you don't value her. maybe say that diamonds are not intrinsicly valuable, and they don't hold their value, and because you don't really see any aesthetic difference between a diamond and mossanite ring yourself, you would rather spend the money on your honeymoon, or your wedding, and make memories together. Possibly suggest getting a ring designed for her, so it's something more meaningful to both of you, and ultimately, let her make the call on what stone she wants to wear for the rest of her life.
I was going to go with NTA until he mentioned all she did for him and how much she supported him, including moving in with her when he couldn't work when they had only been together for 6 months! She went above and beyond and likely contributed more than the $6,500 to $10,000 she wanted him to spend on a ring. IMO this is not about the cost of the ring! It's about the one important thing to her, and he is dismissing it. Considering all she has done for him if a $10k ring will make her happy and feel pride, it should be a no-brainer, especially since he can afford it, and it's in no way a financial burden.
To everyone saying she doesnt need a $10k ring, I would like to know how expensive of a car you think is ok for him to have. A Chevy Spark or a Honda Fit can get you from point A to B just as well as a BMW or Lexus. Is no one allowed to have nice things anymore? In 2003 my engagement ring cost $1500 when gold and diamond prices were very low. I love my ring and it's the only expensive jewelry i own and i do wear it almost every day. We have a 12 year old car and a brand new one. I have a friend whose rings were probably over $10K but her dress 100 bucks. Its ok to splurge on nice things once in a while, especially when you work hard for them.
YTA. He says no one is worth $10,000. Yet she gave him more than $10,000 in free rent so he’s really saying that she’s not worth $10,000 but it’s ok when it’s her giving to him.
I'm stunned. I was fully expecting the usual "I want the big rock to show my friends how much I'm worth to you" . But it's just something she very much wants, that they can afford, and she hasn't behaved like a gimme in the time he's known her, quite the reverse. And no I don't think this is a slippery slope of wanting stuff. I think he just got freaked by the price, which is understandable if he grew up without much money, old habits die hard, and hadn't thought it through. I hope they have a good chat about this, go out and get a ring she likes, and start off married life with a good foundation. And for the record, my engagement ring is a cubic zirconia because I couldn't bear the thought of wearing a couple of grand on my careless hand
MoJo, to each their own. Please keep in mind that this is a woman who took care of this man when he was hospitalized, covered his expenses as well as had him move in with her, and her uncle got him a job. And yet, he feels like it's perfectly OK to tell her that she's not worth anything to him. I think she's too good for him not only is he the a*****e but I hope she leaves pronto
At no point did he say she wasn't worth anything to him, just that she wasn't worth a 10k ring. Also why does he need to pay her back for taking care of him, if they're a partnership, that's just what you do, you shouldn't do it expecting a big return later on. I hope she leaves pronto for other reasons, he obviously needs someone that isn't just interested in showing off her ring and instead actually investing in a marriage.
Load More Replies... This pisses me off that he got YTA comments. As a woman, I think he is right, no one is worth a £/$10,000 ring. That amount of money can do so many other things for you as a couple. Unfortunately for most women, the ring is all about showing it off. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable walking round with that amount of money on my hand. I also do not really like jewelry and wear a simple silicone band, I don't have to worry about it being damaged or stolen and it doesn't get in the way of me going about my day.
This isn't about what you personally would want. I'm a woman, and I don't want a traditional, pricey ring either. She doesn't ask for anything and supported him when he needed it. This is her one thing she wants and is asking for, and will wear every day for the rest of her life.
Load More Replies... *She* may be worth £10,000 but no diamond ring is. Diamonds are not rare and their cost is deliberately driven up by De Beers stockpiling them. Not to mention the environmental and human rights cost of mining them. I genuinely don’t understand why we, as a society, let De Beers (and the few other companies, but mostly it’s De Beers) romanticize them. I am absolutely not saying we shouldn’t like and appreciate diamonds - gem stones are beautiful - but I don’t understand ascribing such ridiculous values to them when they’re not rare.
Thank you! I'd much rather have a beautiful colored gemstone than an overpriced piece of carbon. Padparadsha sapphires are my absolute favorite!
Load More Replies... I am seriously shocked by the amount of YTA comments, even more so because of the reasoning behind it. Has the wedding and diamond industry really managed to ingrain the need for an overpriced diamond ring so extremely that it is not socially acceptable any more not to buy it? Engagement rings are not even a big thing in other countries. The focus elsewhere is more on wedding rings, but even then, the average ring is about 1000 Euro or less in countries like Germany. The "three month's salary" rule common in the US is based on nothing more than a bad advertising campaign by diamond seller De Beer back in the Sixties.
If he hadn't said she wasn't "worth it," people would have been much kinder to him I think.
Load More Replies... Disagree. He's NTA. 10k on a ring makes me feel sick. You care for someone because you love them! Been married for 15yrs and together for 26yrs. Love should always be the main focus
Been married for 22 years, and never had an engagement ring. Never even cared about having one. We both just have plain gold bands that we put on each other’s finger at our wedding (which was very small). The only thing my husband did was make sure to buy thicker, more solid gold bands, so they would last for decades, because gold is a soft metal. He also got them engraved on the inside. Our rings stay on our fingers. In fact, when my husband got his caught on an engine part and it got too mangled to wear about 10 years ago, he went right out and bought one of those rubber rings (or whatever they’re made of) because he said he felt naked without his ring. I took the mangled ring to the jeweler and had them fix it. Luckily, the mangled part didn’t affect the engraving. I still had the original ring box it came in, so I put the repaired ring in it, wrapped it up, and put it in his Christmas stocking. He was ecstatic to have his original ring back. It went right on his finger, and hasn’t been off since. The MARRIAGE is what’s important, not the ring, or the dress, or the reception, or the honeymoon. I wish more people realized that.
Load More Replies... Wow, so much wrong. Including in these comments. Yes it's important to her, that doesn't mean it's reasonable or worth doing. To a hoarder, pieces of trash are important to them for their own reasons, doesn't mean you should support them hoarding, or give them more trash. I do agree with communication, WHY is it so important? Does she equate love to ring size/price? That's something that one definitely shouldn't promote or accept. Figuring out a healthy solution is best. I do think rings need to be of quality material to endure daily wearing, and it needs to look nice cause the wearer sees it a lot, but that doesn't mean it needs to be thousands of dollars. I hope the couple figured out everything and I really hope she doesn't think her value and love is dependent on the cost of a ring.
Most 1c diamond rings cost $1500. You have to realise that it is ok to splurge once in a while.
Load More Replies... The YTA comments are stupid. No one needs a $10,000 ring. A ring that can be easily damaged, or stolen. I mean, yea. I had a custom engagement ring made for my wife, but it was not diamonds, and it coast a grand total of about £400-500 (cant remember the exact number) which is expensive enough, never mind adding several thousand on top of that! At least if anything happens to my wifes ring, it's easily replaced by contacting the jewellers who made it and within a few months of saving, easy to repay for. $10,000 can go into much more important things than a ring. Save for your future together gdi.
Most 1 c diamond rings cost $1500. The 10k is the highest amount he saw.
Load More Replies... The comments about "she'll be wearing it 24/7 for the rest of her life" are interesting. My engagement ring was £3000 and I barely wear it because I don't want to lose it or get mugged. When we talked about getting married and ring budget, I said "£500 sounds good". He replied "I was thinking more like £5000". It's important to some people as a symbol of commitment and as something you will keep long term. If you can afford it, and she really wants it, then yes, I would say go for it. Either way, this couple need to communicate honestly and openly about things. The way they're doing it now is no good.
But you are not her and is not about you. As he described her she doesnt ask anything, she deserve this.
Load More Replies... NTA. Nobody needs a $10,000 ring. Diamonds are a scam, anyway — but that's beside the point; the same would apply if it was a platinum or gold ring.
I proposed to my now wife with a ring pop on the stroke of midnight 2020/21. A big old hard candy "diamond" on a plastic ring. I did in time get her a diamond ring but we went shopping together and she picked the one she liked. We never did get our honeymoon though because of the pandemic and then the arrival of our little miracle, who as it happens is telling me it's about time for some milk.
Rings are a marketing scheme to sell worthless diamonds. I do not wear a ring, if you need a ring to remind you to stay faithful then you really shouldn't get married. Also that diamond money goes to slavery and wars.
F*** no. NTA. You could throw a wedding for $10,000. I'm a female and this is utterly ridiculous. In today's economy $10,000 is a means of survival. If you love someone why do you need the big huge ring? 10,000 can go towards the wedding. Or go towards a home. Or so many other things. I think this is a serious matter of priorities.
You just told your girlfriend you don't think she's worth money, time, effort, or listening to. Now you're not going to get out of this with a wife unless you go above and beyond on all of those fronts.
This is an engagement ring.... and for the actual wedding he has to cough up another 10k? Or more? The latter is the ring she will wear "for the rest of her life", the engagement ring will end up in a drawer and forgotten. Demanding a ring which is 1/8 of the yearly salary is ridiculous. If she expects him to pay off his "debt" with in daily life useless things, she should look for a husband with a significant higher salary.
Diamonds are overpriced, cruelty sourced, overrated trinkets. I think moissanite is such a much better choice… And they really are a lot prettier.
A diamond ring is the worst "investment" ever. You will never sell the stupid thing so all you're doing is paying a buttload of money for her to wear until she decides she needs a new one in 10 years. If a man ever spent that kind of money on me for a stupid ring, I would sell it immediately and use it as a down payment on a good horse.
I don't understand all the YTA comments. I got engaged with a £40 ring. I was more than happy with it. It wasn't the cost that made me happy, it was what the ring promised and that was a life with the one I loved. I'd be annoyed if my fiance spent more than £500 on an engagement ring let alone £10,000 even if they could afford it.
Jesus why does a diamond ring have to be 6500 to 10k?! Mine was £3000 and it's a real diamond with REAL little diamonds on the band. Ridiculous honestly that anyone would even expect that amount but at the same time - he's going to cheap out and not even get her a real Diamond?! I'd be upset if I was here too
I think he said that it is 10k to garner sympathy. A 1 carat diamond ring costs roughly 1200 euro or 1500 usd
Load More Replies... Did everyone forget about "blood diamonds"? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_diamond
Well, although I agree diamonds aren’t actually worth how much they are hyped, they aren’t actual coal though. C’mon, don’t be silly.
Load More Replies... Diamonds are a scam. They are not rare and aren't worth anything on the secondary market. Spending that kind of money on shiny rocks is excessive. If my partner didn't understand how I felt about that, I would reconsider the engagement.
What's with all the YTA? A $10K diamond is, at the most, worth $2500 because that type of jewelry is marked up astronomically. Then there is the Debiers problem, blood diamonds, etc. Are we ever going to go away from the "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" trope?
NTA. I told my husband to not waste money on a rock. He would happily have spent more but we are happy we could use the money on other things as we are trying to start our lives together. The prize of the ring does not represent the love and woman should stop treating it like that!! Its a f****d way of thinking. Honestly I appreciate finding an alternative that is equally pretty
Apparently, I would be in the minority … unnecessary spending is the root of financial ruin …
Oh thank goodness you all are not thinking he is TA! I thought my the world has gone mad for a moment there! 10k for an engagement ring? WTF? I would not demand that if I knew the guy is a millionaire!
Wow, I'll just sit here quietly, in the back with my £399 diamond ring...
In any case, finding a genuine love is a far greater achievement than any gemstone in the world.
Load More Replies... Count me amongst the diamonds are a scam crowd. Not to mention that wearing something like that is asking to be a crime victim. And how will she fare with wearing rings? It was only after we married that my wife discovered her fingers are remarkably unsuited to wearing rings--anything that's secure isn't comfortable. It was less than a year and multiple close calls before her wedding ring got relegated to dress-up only.
Over the years developed a culture surrounding weddings, that makes women expect things that seem extremely important. But are they really? My wife was dreaming of our wedding (the ring, the proposal, the dress, the decorating etc.). I didn't think it was important but I obliged because I love her. We spent a lot like many people do. After we started a family and had our 1st child, everything seemed so insignificant to her and it was like she awoke from being under a spell. Society (and the wedding industry) makes us believe all those things are the most important and special. So my opinion is that theres no right answer to this situation (NTA/YTA)
Meanwhile, the one I want is less than $1,000 for the set lol To each their own ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
In normal case I would agree that engagement rings are way too overprized, but since they can easily afford it, and she barely/never buys expensive or fancier things, and seems to live significantly under budget (which isn't a bad thing btw) I think he should absolutely get her the ring she wants. This is clearly something that's very important to her, and him saying that "no-one" which includes her is worth that much really was the tipping point for me. Normally someone would say that you can't put a prize on love or life, but here he is saying that it's bellow a diamond ring. Sure it may be a waste of money, but it's a one time thing and clearly important to her, he has more than enough, so I don't see why he shouldn't get it. I agree with the comments for once. Also he did live off her for months, by no fault of his own to be fair, but seriously him complaining about her expenses on an engagement ring after that comes off a bit icky to me. Not that he owes her, but how he talks about it
How far do you think 80k goes? That's like a month and a half of that salary and that's assuming he has no other expenses and every cent he gets paid goes towards that for that time period. I'm not trying to shame him that is still decent money but things are expensive right now and likely will continue to get more expensive. Spending 10k on a ring is absolutely r******d especially when there will certainly be other upcoming expenses for a couple trying to start their life together. If you wanna waste money at the very least don't give it to a diamond cartel.
Load More Replies... I don't think the issue here is whether or not 10K is too much for a ring, or whether or not diamond/ other gemstones are "worth it". It's about what the gf explicitly says she wants, and what OP explicitly says she isn't worth. If he couldn't afford it or is saving for something else, it's another issue (but he didn't mention it). It also sounds like he is weighing her worth, "is the love and care and job worth me using 10k to repay her?" She never asked to be repaid when she took care of OP. But now clearly he thinks that what she did for him is not worth it. He didn't try to discuss with her on spending less on the ring (maybe she just wants a real diamond, which can cost a lot less than 10k?), he didn't bother to try to see her point of view; he just dismissed her. People, it's not the debate on the diamond industry or should rings cost that much! It's the fact that OP does not choose to understand his gf when she expressed a different point of view than him. He simply judges her.
Im really disgusted by all thr YTA comments. Maybe he could have handled it well, but the fact that she NEEDS a 10k ENGAGEMENT ring. Is absurd. How much is she expecting for thr weddings bands, 100k? IF and thats a hughly questionable if, she had some special reasons why she needed a pricy engagement ring thats one thing but what an absolute failure in her oart to explain that
Ask her if she know where diamonds come from. And why they are considered to be the ‘ideal’ engagement ring.
is she marrying him or the f*****g ring ? this is ridiculous. here's a a thought : buy a 5k ring and add the remaining 5k to the honeymoon budget and make it a grand one. One both of you will remember for a long long time.
I’m not a fancy jewelry person and have only worn semi precious stones set in silver. My husband didn’t get me any kind of engagement ring, we just kind of agreed marriage was the next step of our relationship, and the wedding was more of a party for him and his family and friends. Though now I do almost wish he had made an effort to buy some kind of symbol. We’ve gone and bought $10k speakers for him and other expensive stereo equipment multiple times - it’s like a never-ending and maddening quest. When I met him he was disorganized and lived with his parents. I got his life and finances in order, so we could buy a house of our own. I even took his debt onto mine to improve his credit rating. He’s had all kinds of health struggles I’ve helped him through - emergency surgeries caused by his own negligence & hubris. He’s a challenge & life with him has been a crazy nutty roller coaster. My life and needs/wants have always been secondary. That guy shouldn’t have said she wasn’t worth it
I used to be married to the daughter of a Miami Beach jeweler. Her motto for gifts was, "It's not the thought, it's the cost." Expensive diamonds are a huge waste of money. The markups are like 400% and the cost proves nothing about how much the giver cares about the recipient. This guy should run.
Who is out there getting $6-10k diamond rings? It doesn't have to be huge!
While I understand the YTA comments, and do agree with them to some extent, I do agree that $10,000 is far too much to spend. The good thing for me is that my wife agrees. In fact, she insisted on no ring at all, because it was a waste of money. She said a wedding ring is enough, and we spent about £400 on a pair.
He would be able to fly to my country and buy her a beautiful ring with that much money
YTA. No question in my mind. You make $80K/year, she supported you morally, financially, and medically when you were injured, and asked for nothing in return. You said she generally does not ask for much, but this is important to her. You told her "no-one's worth a $10,000 ring!" You meant she isn't worth that to you, despite it being important to her. The issue isn't whether or not an expensive ring is a good investment. The issue is your money is more important to you than her happiness. Why not just get a Sharpie marker? You'll save thousands.
Might be alone on this but since he said No one is worth a 10k ring it seems more like he was saying the ring itself is the not worth it no mister what or who it's for. I'm surely not worth a 10k ring but a 10k car? That's a resounding yes lol. I don't think him spending 10k is the issue as much as spending 10k on a single ring that doesn't reflect its ginormous price tag.
YTA but only for the comment that 'no one is worth $10K', but NTA regarding the ring issue. as a woman i agree that 10k is an obscene about for a ring. IMO women who insist on this need a prop to show others "look how much he loves me!' a ring doesn't make a marriage. 10k could be used for the wedding or, better yet, small wedding & downpmt on home. the ring is supposed to a symbol love & intent of marriage, not a price tag. itempted to suggest he keep his $ & get another partner. in fact, there really isn't a need or requirement for a ring at all, engagement or marriage. it's a custom/tradition.
I just don't get y someone would want the ring tbh. Diamonds aren't even that pretty
I WOULDNT EVEN WANT 1000 SPENT ON A RING NEVER MIND WHAT LITTLE MISS GOLDDIGGERS ASKING FOR!!
OMG, are you people for real? Why spend so much on a ring! As long as it is a real diamond, it does not matter the cost! Spend the money on buying a house. I find this so stupid.
I like jewelry & gemstones, especially diamonds. My partner & I are in a relationship; I gave him a ring (I designed it) with a high quality 5.35 carats natural Ceylon blue sapphire & tons of accent 0.25 c “D color, F clarity, Brilliant cut” diamonds (total 5.25 carats). He didn't even ask me for that, & he couldn't provide an expensive gift in return. His financial status may not be impressive, but his love for me is unmatched. When we started dating, he had no idea about my real financial status. I played the role of a loser with a regular job & a low income. He accepts & loves me for who I am. My objective is to find a partner who loves me regardless of my insignificance & not just because of what I can afford in life. I'm once surrounded by false people due to my financial status. To me, it's a straightforward decision: If you can afford, your partner deserves & will treasure it, why not? In any case, finding a genuine love is a far greater achievement than any gemstone in the world.
that sounds like a huge amount of money. me and my husband chose my ring together, in a small local jewellers. I'm very fussy about how comfortable a ring is between my knuckles, and never wanted anything that wasn't a nice smooth, low profile. after trying a fair few on, I narrowed it down to the two I thought would be comfortable and practical, but still looked lovely, and told my husband to choose between those two. it was £405. I still remember that. just over a decade ago. (it's a .20 diamond, but a really good quality one, cut and clarity wise, and set very low in the band so it's not snaggy) so the prices seem pretty extreme here.
No one is worth a $10K ring. Engagement rings are so outdated bc they are just dumb. so are elaborate proposals. I question her values if a big ring is important to her. And I'm so disappointed that so many think he's TA.
To be honest, the current prices of diamond engagement rings are massively inflated. I've seen on YouTube a factory producing lab-grown diamonds in Henan, China. It really convinced me that when buying an engagement ring, my main focus should be on precious metals like platinum and white gold. As for gemstones, I can easily go for a more affordable alternative to diamonds, such as moissanite or white sapphires.
There is a place where you can dig your own diamonds. It's a state park in Arkansas. The two of you could spend a day digging and get just about any size diamond - if you find one. Read up on it.
If she's only happy with a certain ring then call it off. She's just a gold digger. Love has nothing to do with material things. It shouldn't matter if it's a $10k Diamond or a silicone band. If she puts that much emphasis on the ring then it won't be long before she'll adopt a line a friend used to use, "rings fill no holes". I hope I don't have to explain that to anyone.
I have a moissanite ring and I LOVE it! But I WANTED a lab-grown ring because diamonds are sold at highly inflated prices and there's always a chance it's a blood diamond (even though I live in a country that mines its own diamonds and has unions). Moissanite is almost as hard as diamond and a bit more sparkly - and totally lab-made.
Simple solution: Don't get married, and put the money towards a house.
Female here. OP is definitely NTA, and all the women on here saying he is make me sick. $10K is ridiculous to spend on a piece of jewelry.
Just so people who have not walked into a mall in their lives know, a 1 carat diamond ring costs an average of 1500 usd. Which is reasonable for a ring. The 10k is likely there to garner sympathy. Learn how to do research.
I think it doesn't matter what ring you get or how much money it is(i mean like just as long as it isnt like really really cheap) but yeah
I always thought it was hilarious/crazy that people want/expect expensive rings for an *engagement*. Aside from the artificial rarity/value of diamonds, it's not even a wedding ring.. That being said, he sounds like he was completely dismissive of her thoughts/feelings on the matter, which is not good at all.
Was about to NTA but the supportive thing broke it a bit, if she helped you like this she deserves a bit more. Yes the Engagement ring doesn't need to be above 5k but shouldn't be far below it. The Wedding ring tho, it better blings.
Ok. I'm gonna say it. She is priceless if he loves her. But the ring isn't worth that much. I think if they are well off and want to splurge, THAT's the kind of thing you can splurge on. Ideally, you only get one, so you might as well go all out to get exactly what she wants if you can make it happen. Are there things they COULD spend that money on that are more worth the price tag? Sure. But I cannot judge their financial decisions. I'm not them. I don't think spending "too much" here is going to break them financially. In the end, if anything it will give them an opportunity to grow in their communication with each other, which is always a good thing. NAH.
My wife wanted a 1 carat diamond for a ring. We looked at several stores and they ran $6-9,000 dollars. This was back in the 80's. I was just about ready to spring for one, when I saw a jewelry store sign that said, "Going out of Business last day". I hit the brakes and went in. They had several 1 carat diamonds and the lady behind the counter said, make us an offer. I picked out a round cut ring that was priced at $7,000 dollars and offered her 10% of the rings cost. She said she didn't think they could go that low, but went in the back to check. She came back out and said the lowest they could go was $1,500 dollars. Deal. My wife and I have been together for almost 40 years now and she still loves her ring. Bargains are out there; you just need some luck and determination.
In any case, finding a genuine love is a far greater achievement than any gemstone in the world.
Load More Replies... YTA - for the "not worth a £10,000 ring." comment, not for not wanting to spend that much on a ring. That comment is always going to sound like "you are not worth £10000 to me". That would p**s anyone off, particularly given your high salary, and the history of her supporting you. She may even be wondering "Would he invest £10,000 in medical care and physio for me if I was in an accident?" Have a talk where you listen to each other, and you apologise for sounding like you don't value her. maybe say that diamonds are not intrinsicly valuable, and they don't hold their value, and because you don't really see any aesthetic difference between a diamond and mossanite ring yourself, you would rather spend the money on your honeymoon, or your wedding, and make memories together. Possibly suggest getting a ring designed for her, so it's something more meaningful to both of you, and ultimately, let her make the call on what stone she wants to wear for the rest of her life.
I was going to go with NTA until he mentioned all she did for him and how much she supported him, including moving in with her when he couldn't work when they had only been together for 6 months! She went above and beyond and likely contributed more than the $6,500 to $10,000 she wanted him to spend on a ring. IMO this is not about the cost of the ring! It's about the one important thing to her, and he is dismissing it. Considering all she has done for him if a $10k ring will make her happy and feel pride, it should be a no-brainer, especially since he can afford it, and it's in no way a financial burden.
To everyone saying she doesnt need a $10k ring, I would like to know how expensive of a car you think is ok for him to have. A Chevy Spark or a Honda Fit can get you from point A to B just as well as a BMW or Lexus. Is no one allowed to have nice things anymore? In 2003 my engagement ring cost $1500 when gold and diamond prices were very low. I love my ring and it's the only expensive jewelry i own and i do wear it almost every day. We have a 12 year old car and a brand new one. I have a friend whose rings were probably over $10K but her dress 100 bucks. Its ok to splurge on nice things once in a while, especially when you work hard for them.
YTA. He says no one is worth $10,000. Yet she gave him more than $10,000 in free rent so he’s really saying that she’s not worth $10,000 but it’s ok when it’s her giving to him.
I'm stunned. I was fully expecting the usual "I want the big rock to show my friends how much I'm worth to you" . But it's just something she very much wants, that they can afford, and she hasn't behaved like a gimme in the time he's known her, quite the reverse. And no I don't think this is a slippery slope of wanting stuff. I think he just got freaked by the price, which is understandable if he grew up without much money, old habits die hard, and hadn't thought it through. I hope they have a good chat about this, go out and get a ring she likes, and start off married life with a good foundation. And for the record, my engagement ring is a cubic zirconia because I couldn't bear the thought of wearing a couple of grand on my careless hand
MoJo, to each their own. Please keep in mind that this is a woman who took care of this man when he was hospitalized, covered his expenses as well as had him move in with her, and her uncle got him a job. And yet, he feels like it's perfectly OK to tell her that she's not worth anything to him. I think she's too good for him not only is he the a*****e but I hope she leaves pronto
At no point did he say she wasn't worth anything to him, just that she wasn't worth a 10k ring. Also why does he need to pay her back for taking care of him, if they're a partnership, that's just what you do, you shouldn't do it expecting a big return later on. I hope she leaves pronto for other reasons, he obviously needs someone that isn't just interested in showing off her ring and instead actually investing in a marriage.
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