Estranged Sis Says No When Gay Bro Tries To Reconcile Only After Parents Cut Him Off

It’s pretty normal for siblings to go through a phase where they hate each other, but when one wages all-out war on the other for their entire youth, things can get really messy, really fast. That’s the kind of thing that will leave family hopelessly estranged.

And that’s exactly what happened to one woman and her bullying brother. Then he showed up out of the blue (and out of the closet), begging to make peace, all because his parents told him if he didn’t, they’d cut him off. That’s when the drama really started. 

More info: Reddit

Almost all siblings will scrap at some point, but things usually calm down once they’re adults

Two young siblings in gray pajamas having a playful pillow fight on a bed in a bright bedroom.

Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

That wasn’t the case for a woman who spent her entire youth being bullied and harassed by her golden child brother

Text post about forcing parents to disown a gay brother who treated sister poorly, asking for context.

Alt text: Text about a sister hating her gay brother who treated her badly and later faced family rejection.

Text excerpt showing a person describing how their gay bro treated sis like dirt by lying and blaming her to their parents.

Alt text: Text describing a gay bro who treated his sister poorly and caused family conflict, leading to parents disowning him.

Alt text: Text excerpt exploring family dynamics where a gay brother treats his sister poorly and faces consequences later in life.

Young woman leaning against wall looking upset, reflecting on family issues and feeling emotionally hurt.

Image credits: SkelDry / Freepik (not the actual photo)

When she got a college scholarship, she left home and never looked back, and her family couldn’t even be bothered to make it to her wedding

Text excerpt about family struggles and support from husband’s family, relating to gay bro treating sis like dirt scenario.

Text excerpt discussing traditional parents shocked by a gay brother coming out and family name expectations.

Text on a white background stating that adoption and surrogating are not options, only proper marriage is accepted.

Text excerpt about a gay brother causing family drama and facing disownment over broken relationships.

Man with beard sitting on couch, talking on phone with frustrated expression, illustrating gay bro treats sis like dirt.

Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)

She was understandably stunned when her brother crawled out of the woodwork (and fresh out of the closet), begging her to forgive him, or their parents would cut him off

Alt text: Text about a gay bro blaming his stress from being in the closet after years of treating his sister poorly.

Text quote about family rejection and indifference reflecting gay bro treating sister like dirt and parents disowning him.

Text discussing a gay bro refusing contact with parents after being disowned and accused of homophobia and pettiness.

Text-based image with the question AITA, related to gay bro treating sis badly and parents disowning him.

Text post about parents wanting future baby to carry the family surname, related to gay bro and family conflict issues.

Image credits: jdjcjcinsbxjic

She wasted no time telling him to get lost, but now he’s calling her petty about the years of torment he put her through, so she’s asked netizens if she’s being a jerk about things

The original poster (OP) grew up feeling unwanted while her older brother basked as the golden child. He lied, bullied her, and wrecked her friendships and relationships. The worst part? Their parents sided with him every time. She finally escaped via a scholarship, while he stayed home, funded, praised, and shielded from consequences.

Once OP left, communication basically dried up. Family group chats celebrated her brother’s milestones, while she rebuilt her life in silence. Her family even skipped her wedding and never offered her any financial help. Now married and expecting again, she’s finally found steady love and support through her husband’s family instead.

Her parents are rigidly traditional, fixated on male heirs and bloodlines. When her brother came out, though, panic erupted over the family name. Suddenly, her brother got in touch after years of estrangement, eager to make peace, all because their parents wanted access to her children as backup heirs.

He flew to her state, sobbed, and blamed his cruelty on the stress of hiding his homosexuality, but she told him to get lost, just in more colorful language. Now he’s accusing her of being petty and even homophobic. She’s unmoved, refusing to offer her children as consolation prizes, but still turned to netizens to ask if she’s out of line.

Young man and woman having a tense conversation on a couch, highlighting conflict in family relationships.

Image credits: faststocklv / Freepik (not the actual photo)

To be honest, the only jerks here are OP’s family. After the hell they put her through, who can blame her for wanting less than zero to do with them? The fact that they’re only reaching out now because they want something only adds insult to injury. What’s the deal with going no contact (for good) with family, though? We went looking for answers.

According to the pros over at Psychology Today, there seems to be a cultural shift happening as people put their mental health first and rethink what family might look like. Some experts suggest that while estrangement has always been a phenomenon in families, it’s only recently being acknowledged publicly and analyzed in a significant way.

Family estrangement may defy what we’re taught as kids, things like “honor your parents,” “family is forever,” and “blood is thicker than water.” Yet, people don’t usually choose it out of rebellion, resentment, or a lack of forgiveness; they do it for their safety and emotional well-being, and the well-being of future generations. Sounds a lot like OP.

The folks from VeryWellMind say societal ideas about estrangement often put reunification or reconciliation on a pedestal and ignore the reality that estrangement can be painful, beautiful, illuminating, and a whole range of other experiences, often all at once. Whichever route OP decides on, both are valid choices.

We’d say OP’s got more than enough reasons to cut off her toxic family. Letting them back in will probably only lead to more drama, and who needs that noise? Here’s hoping she can get the closure she needs and move on with her life. 

What’s your take? Should OP give her family another shot, or is she better off without them? Drop your thoughts in the comments!

In the comments, readers seemed to agree that the woman was definitely not the jerk and blasted her parents for creating the whole mess in the first place

Reddit comment discussing parents disowning a gay brother and blaming them for his lack of self-sufficiency.

Reddit comment defending a person as not at fault over family issues involving a gay brother and parental disowning.

Comment discussing a gay brother's dependence and parents disowning him after years of treating his sister poorly.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a gay bro who mistreated his sister and faces consequences from parents disowning him.

Comment advice on a gay bro treating his sister poorly and consequences with parents disowning him.

Comment discussing a gay brother's toxic behavior and parents disowning him for treating his sister poorly.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing toxic parents and family legacy in a gay bro and sister family conflict.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment about escaping family toxicity and being disowned by parents over a wedding no-show.

Comment on family conflict involving disownment and emotional distress over treating sister badly and parental rejection.

Comment criticizing a gay brother who treated his sister poorly and later complains about being disowned by parents.

Text comment from a user advising no contact with family after being treated poorly by a gay brother who faced rejection.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment supporting self-worth and rejecting toxic relationships in family disputes involving a gay bro.

Reddit comment discussing a gay bro who treated his sister badly and faces consequences from parents later.

Comment discussing family name and tradition related to gay bro treating sis poorly and facing parents disowning consequences.

Reddit comment about toxic family dynamics and dealing with a gay bro who mistreated his sister years ago.

Reddit comment praising someone for cutting toxic family ties after being treated poorly by a gay bro.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a brother's toxic behavior towards his sister and family issues.

Comment criticizing parents and reflecting on family rejection in a gay bro and sis relationship context.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!