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“The Toaster Is Too Complicated”: Man-Child Claims Girlfriend Practically Left Him To Starve After She Went On A Trip For One Week
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“The Toaster Is Too Complicated”: Man-Child Claims Girlfriend Practically Left Him To Starve After She Went On A Trip For One Week

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In this day and age, it’s important to know how to do at least the basic chores around the house. How to vacuum, how to wash the dishes, how to do the laundry, and—probably most importantly—how to cook! Look, the fact of the matter is that every adult should know how to pull their own weight. You don’t have to put out MasterChef-level dishes every day, but you should know at least how to put some basic meals together.

Unfortunately, some people refuse to learn, no matter how much effort their loved ones put into teaching them in the Way of the Kitchen. One redditor shared how her boyfriend grew up in a house full of outdated gender norms, so he left all the cooking to her. Meanwhile, all he did was use the microwave to heat up some frozen meals. Meals that are, actually, quite expensive.

While planning to leave on a week-long work trip, the woman decided that they needed to save a bit of money. Instead of buying more of the expensive microwavable food, she got him enough ingredients to cook on his own. She then did her darn best to teach him the basics. Fast forward a week and she comes back to a massively angry boyfriend who started accusing her of nearly leaving him to starve. Scroll down for the full story, Pandas. Let us know what you think of the entire gastronomic drama in the comments.

Bored Panda got in touch with pie artist and culinary expert Jessica Leigh Clark-Bojin for her advice on how to get someone interested in food preparation and what basics to focus on for the best results. You’ll find her advice below! Spoiler warning: there are far more nutritious things than fast food that you can cook easily at home.

Everyone should know how to cook enough to take care of themselves

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Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)

A woman told the AITA community how things went when she wasn’t around to cook for her boyfriend for an entire week

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Image credits: William Rasmussen (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: BurderThrowaway

Pie artist Jessica, the author of ‘Pies Are Awesome,’ told Bored Panda that it’s “particularly important to understand nutrition, and how to work with the basic elements of food—veggies, fruits, meat—whether you cook them or not.” You’ve got to have at least some interest in food, in other words.

“Understanding what types of foods you need to stay fit and healthy, and how to source that food economically, trumps the specific recipes you use. You certainly can just eat a handful of nuts, berries, a few scoops of plain yogurt, a bell pepper, and cheese on a cracker and call it a day!” she said.

“But experimenting with different recipes can make things a little more interesting for you, and a lot of people soon find they really enjoy the creative side of discovering new recipes, tinkering with them, and making them their own.”

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According to culinary expert Jessica, you can go very far by learning a few healthy basics. For example, the various ways how you can prepare eggs, how to make some simple stir frys, and how to cook starches like rice, quinoa, and pasta.

“Search for ‘one pot meals’ or ‘one skillet meals’ and you’ll find a plethora of options that are not only really difficult to mess up, but will likely be a heck of a lot healthier for you than any fast food offering,” she told Bored Panda.

“And unlike baking, which relies on precise measurements to bring about critical chemical reactions, single pan/pot cooking can handle a lot of fun customization from novices. All you really have to worry about is keeping things moving to avoid setting off the smoke detectors!”

The author of the viral Reddit post tried to save them both some money by cutting out the microwavable meals. However, things didn’t turn out quite as she had hoped. Instead of coming home to find her boyfriend proud of having learned to become more independent, she was met with accusations.

As it turns out, he only ate sandwiches, canned goods, and fast food for a week. He also had a whole bunch of excuses lined up as to why he wasn’t able to cook for himself, even after all of those lessons.

The OP wrote that she got a whole range of excuses, from the fact that it was “too complicated” to use the oven and stove to how he couldn’t chop anything, and more. We’re not going to lie, this makes us a bit worried about the future of humanity. Just a little bit.

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Previously, relationship coach Alex Scot explained to Bored Panda that part of what makes things work well around the house is being able to divide up the chores in a way that’s fair.

“Divvying up house chores is a necessity. If one partner consistently does the majority of the work, typically it leads to that partner feeling like a nanny,” she said, adding that both partners should be honest with each other about which chores they absolutely hate and which ones they don’t mind doing.

“For example, I don’t mind cleaning toilets but I hate vacuuming, so my partner is the one who vacuums and I’m the one that cleans the bathroom. For any chores that both partners don’t want to do, take turns alternating. This will vary from couple to couple but the goal here is to keep communication open, fair, and realistic for each other’s schedules,” the relationship coach suggested.

The cost of food has been ballooning over the past year in the United States. CNN Business reports that grocery prices rose 13.1% over the last 12 months. And that’s the collective average. When you start looking at each item individually, you begin to realize that, hey, maybe it really is a good idea to work on a grocery budget and cut back on spending.

“The cost of eggs has soared 38%, and prices for other goods have also jumped: Flour is up 22.7%, chicken 17.6%, milk 15.6%, ground beef 9.7% and bacon 9.2%. Fruits and vegetables got 9.3% more expensive,” CNN writes.

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Here’s how people reacted to this gastronomic relationship drama

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saragregory0508 avatar
NsG
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He must either be phenomenal in bed, or buys her diamonds and roses in his outdated gender stereotype way of keeping his little woman happy, (in which case, I'm wondering whether OP also grew up in an outdated gender role household if she *accepts* this). WHAT T F else is *she* getting out of the relationship? WHY T F is she still with this infant?

jessica-bertram1 avatar
Jessica Bertram
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah, no man is THAT good in bed. not a single one. This guy is grooming her for a life of misery. if she doesn't run now, (and i suspect she will, given that she posted this lil exchange on Reddit) there is nothing we can do for her enabling his awful behavior. When a manipulator successfully grooms a doormat, it's really sad.

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kb0569 avatar
Karl Baxter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He’s being deliberately obtuse. Why is it considered “unmanly” to not know how to feed yourself? That sort of attitude is just embarrassing. This man is a child. Dump him and find someone who wants an equal partnership - not a mother substitutr.

izzycurer avatar
Izzy Curer
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It didn't used to be, even way back in the 1800s. "Baching it" was about the manliest thing a guy could do. If you want to talk about actual, traditional gender norms, cooking and cleaning for yourself was almost considered too manly, as in, if you were a gentleman, you weren't supposed to do it for very long because it wasn't good for you not to have a feminine influence in the house. The guy in this story has just made up some romanticized fiction of what gender norms are 'supposed' to be in his head. Throw the guy back in time, and they would have thought he was a prima donna manchild.

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zeljkoklaric78_1 avatar
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. If somebody claims a toaster was too complicated you know he's full of s**t. I think OP did way too much, to accommodate her lazy BF. Buying all the groceries for him for a week now? come on

ansistargirl avatar
Ansi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But, but, but... gosh, a toaster is really complicated to figure out. /s You have the square bread and the slots are rectangular. So were does the bread go and what's that little n*b med number and that push-thing? 😯 It's so much easier to gaslight his GF to do it for you. 🤦‍♀️

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dirkdaring99 avatar
Dirk Daring
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A man who can't feed himself ain't much damn use for anything else.

killerkittens avatar
Amy S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet his outdated gender roles don't extend to her giving up her job and him being the sole provider, plus doing all the DIY/garden chores. Just leave him, let him starve if he is too stubborn to even shop for foods he likes.

mar42991 avatar
Melissa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this idiot can't use a toaster, then he should return that college degree immediately. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than stuck with a user that makes me miserable.

iblewsheep avatar
iblewsheep
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The dude is a man child. MAYBE she could have mentioned she didn't buy his frozen meals for him, but if the guy is too useless to even go out to the store to buy his own pre made packaged s**t for dinner, then screw him. His "this is too complicated" nonsense is just that, nonsense. I learned how to cook. I didn't learn it from parents. My father was one of these "that's a woman's job," ninnies, my Mother was always screaming "GTF out of the kitchen!" any time i would try to see how she did what she was doing while making meals. I learned it on my own. I am not special for doing so.

c_devine avatar
Seedy Vine
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP is dating a toddler. He is the AH. If she stays and continues to enable him, she'll also be an AH... to herself.

ljmul83 avatar
L Mullen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Gender Norms"? My father grew up in the 20s and 30s, guess who knew how to cook. His mother and father raised a man who could take care of himself.

waril-debbie avatar
loona
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get it. So when he didn't find any frozen ready meals he was incapable to buy some for himself?! LEAVE THIS RELATIONSHIP, PRONTO!

eleabell avatar
Elea Bell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If nothing else, you can cook rice and salmon in a microwave. You can cook a potato in a microwave. You can cook steamed vegetables in a microwave. I suggest that the next time he approaches her with that attitude, she should inform him that all complaints will be handled by Ms. Helen Waite. If he won't make anything but frozen meals, and expects her to make edible food, he can go to Helen Waite.

magentamanganit avatar
MagNat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So is he saying that if we don't feed those men-children for long enough, they'll go extinct? I won't lie, it's kind of tempting.

nightshade1972 avatar
Nightshade1972
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A few years back, I read about a guy who had a very "traditional" marriage--she did all the cooking and cleaning, he worked outside the home. At one point, she needed to have surgery for a medical issue, and they told her she'd be in the hospital for three weeks. Even though she was feeling miserable, she went to the effort of making and freezing three weeks worth of meals so that he'd have something for dinner while she was gone. As it turned out, she had complications and needed to stay in the hospital an extra week. Rather than being sympathetic to her, he was angry! "I'm about to run out of meals, what am I gonna do if she stays in the hospital for anothr week?! You have to let her out so she can cook for me again!" That behavior was apparently enough for her to snap out of it--after she got out of the hospital (she *did* stay an extra week), she divorced him.

ina_11 avatar
Pianosaurus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Working with people with serious mental health issues. They learn how to cook very easily. The difference is: they WANT to learn it. You’re NTA!

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He doesn't know how to use a toaster?! Most children learn how to use a toaster by at least age 8, usually younger. Most men can find their way to a grocery store and locate the frozen microwaveable meals quite easily.

tiinabender avatar
Iifa A.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I cook meals at home and do dishes, my partner does not. But when I'm away on holidays he never complains and does it for himself. Last time I was gone he said he ordered once, and rest of the time.managed to cook. When I return he has new admiration and appreciation that I do it. He moved in with me with zero skills, he learned happily. Why are you living with a man that has zero respect towards you or himself. It would never occur to me to blame my partner for my own inability to cook. Send him back home. And please refrain from having children until this one is grown up. Life can throw obstacles where the wife may not be able to do any housework or cook, what then? What happens if you get sick, pregnant, difficult birth, newborn baby? I was on bedrest for 9mth, couldn't carry more than 3kg. You're not in a relationship living with a man. You're alone living with an entitled male roommate who has found himself a maid. Why are you together?

joop avatar
joop
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even my 86 y o dad can put a pizza in the oven. Lol we always got pizza when my mom worked.

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libstak avatar
Libstak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Claiming not to be able to use a toaster is pretty ridiculous. I was making toast at 4 and 5 years old fgs.

veritech-pilot avatar
onitsuka
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All these AITA posts make me lose faith in humanity. She needs to drop this potato sack. Cooking isn't rocket science. Boiling an egg isn't brain surgery. He's just refusing to do these things. Why people stay with these mouth breathers is beyond me.

madmcqueen avatar
Mad McQueen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Move on. He's a mommas boy and this is utter stupidity on him being entitled.

garymohammed avatar
WhoIsYourLeader
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He got fast fod, but could get his own frozen meals from the supermarket? Duh

anb1388 avatar
Allison B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA! I mean I didn't really learn to actually cook until I was like 30 but before that I at least tried to! I could pretty much only make frozen meals, pasta, and toast. Its only when I got an instapot as a gift one year that I really learned how to actually cook. Im still not great, but definitely better! But this guy doesn't even seem to try!

to-kim avatar
To-Kim
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope OP leaves this lazy abusive whiny overgrown toddler. She would be the AT if she stays with him.

abigailrose_1 avatar
Wysteria_Rose
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My stepsons tried convincing me that no one had ever taught them how to make a bed...until I went directly to their dad in the next room who called out this little white lie. Even when they insisted, I said, "Well, you're going to learn today! And you'll practice until you can do it well." This is a man-child who doesn't want to learn; a toaster is not complicated at all. Girl needs to take these red flags and run far and fast.

bellebeasleymiles avatar
Belle Miles
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Congratulations on your adoption lady. You might want to get him his big boy bed in another room. He's to old to still be sleeping in Mommy's bed.

pieladyjack avatar
Jacqueline Pie Francis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a big baby. She should dump him. That is RIDICULOUS. My family is Italian and everyone cooks—the men and the women. The great chefs of the world include men and women. It is not a woman’s job to coddle men. There is no excuse for this guy to not be able to make a piece of toast.

tahadata avatar
Lara Verne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Turning stove is too complicated, toaster is too complicated....Lol is he a toddler? Or mentally challenged? No?Then he can make his own food.

linbot1 avatar
Lily Mae Kitty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if a toaster is too complicated for him, he should move back home with mom and dad.

caseymcalister avatar
Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously NTA. This BF sounds absolutely pathetic. I just don't understand one thing - she didn't tell him she didn't buy his frozen meals, but why didn't he buy them himself? He could literally buy them instead of fast food. How stupid is this man exactly?

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is completely ridiculous. My fourteen year old brother knows how to cook a few things and is really capable of fending for himself. When I was growing up we learned all of these simple tasks early because we knew we would need to. We started washing the dishes and our clothes at eleven years old. I knew how a coffee maker and toaster worked long before that. Like several other people said this weaponized incompetence and you don't have to put up with it. You need to leave him and find someone that is not stuck in the toddler phase.

mfaby avatar
Mark Faby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree with her way of framing her story but having said that her bf is a effing moron, no ifs, ands or buts.

douggraham avatar
Doug Graham
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's not his girlfriend...she's his babysitter. Dump his a*s, and let him fend for himself...or find some other sugarmama to cater to his every whim.

elaineelder avatar
Elaine Elder
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My daughter (25) asked her dad (51) if I could make her a grilled herself sandwich because she doesn't know how to cook one with all the different cheeses in it. He said "Darlin! I know what your I.Q. is, you can make a grilled cheese sandwich!" "Yeah, but it never tastes as good as Mom's" So they made grilled cheese for me. Real Parmesan almost burnt into real butter on sour dough bread with whatever other kinds of cheese hiding in fridge.

asouthernbelle0 avatar
Lexie Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even my grandfather knew how to make fried bologna sandwiches and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when my grandmother wasn't around to cook. She did all the cooking in their marriage other than grilling. No man is that incompetent without wanting to be.

larisamigachyov avatar
Lara M
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This person has a job? He's allowed to drive a car? He has a bank account? Or does he need an assisted living facility?

brookeklein avatar
Brooke Klein
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How does he like frozen meals but not leftovers..? If you had premade meals like you mentioned & put them in the freezer/fridge for him to reheat it would have literally been the same thing???? Also dump him. My boyfriend didn't know how to even chop an onion or cook ramen on the stove before I met him, but after three months of us living together, if I work on a day he doesn't, he has dinner ready & waiting for me to get home. You're dating a pos

jppennington avatar
JayWantsACat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It''s not manly to cook", he says while whining and crying that a woman didnt feed him like a literal infant. These are the same morons who think liberals are cucks and Trump, who spends all him whining on social media, is an alpha

deborahharris avatar
Deborah Harris
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Perhaps he should have stayed at Mommy's house that week. I wonder how he managed to change his own diapers.

nikkisevven avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Learned helplessness to force someone else to do the work. You don't have a boyfriend; you have a man-child.

mbbookkeeping avatar
DuchessDegu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he can't operate a toaster I wonder how he navigates other basic tasks such as brushing teeth or wiping his bum 🤢

mim8209 avatar
MimSorensson
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The AITA question is moot, I feel; this woman needs to get the fùck out quick. That extreme level of weaponized incompetence is a red flag so big you could cover the country with it - she needs to leave now, before she’s the permanent substitute mommy to a whiny little man child.

editor_16 avatar
Sue Denham
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is scary. I hope she thinks long and hard about all the answers she received.

clairelise avatar
clairelise@pacific.net
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex when we met: "I do want to work, I can't find a job that I'll always enjoy." You don't have to like it. But you do have to do it.

gfstaylor avatar
GFSTaylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew a woman who was annoyed that her teenage son said he couldn't manage the washing machine to do his own laundry. I said that if he wanted driving lessons, she should say that if he can't manage a washing machine, he can't manage a car. Amazing how many 'men' know how to manage a large, fast-moving machine,, but can't figure out how to use a machine in the kitchen.

xqueenbee59x avatar
Spittnimage
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get rid of this loser who expects you to be his mommy and his girlfriend.

tmhb avatar
TM
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait… He can’t even buy the frozen meals? Definitely, she’s NTA, and she should get another boy friend.

amberhartsfield avatar
Amber The bear
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your actions were TOTALLY justified, girlfriend. If he wants to be such a manchild, let him and leave him. Or just refuse to cook for him until he learns how to. It’s not that hard to put a pan on the stove, turn the k.n.o.b (it was censored) and cook some eggs, for Pete’s sake!! I learned how to cook eggs when I was 10!! ALONG with learning how to toast bread in a toaster when I was 5 yrs old. My dad cooks for my mom all the time and is still one of the toughest guys I know. IF YOU COOK YOUR OWN MEALS, THAT MAKES YOU MORE DESIRABLE GUYS!!!! And one more thing. HOW DID THIS GIY EAT WHEN HE WASNT DATING ANYONE?!

findgretta avatar
I'mNotARoboat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My toddler loves mixing the eggs in the bowl and then watches while I cook. To say this man is a toddler does toddlers a disservice. This man is an infant and unwilling to grow up. Weaponized incompetence at it's finest. He needs to go if he's not going to grow.

hmoore_1 avatar
H M
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Time to leave him. Mine couldn't cook either, I did. But he could make toast, do eggs, and had a go at shepherds pie once, not bad...not perfect but he did manage if he needed to. He also cleaned the loo and the oven as well as more "manly" chores.

julija-mich avatar
B-b-bird
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For exactly this reason I’ve left someone before. Because his mommy was doing everything, he was used to it so much that made him completely incapable to take care of himself. Breaking point for me was when I was doing uni project through the night trying to chase time and finish before sunrise (still with a hope to get few hours of sleep). He was hanging out at my place, and interrupting me with constant questions “how to?”. Now I understand, maybe guy sincerely wants to learn, just it’s a bad timing for me. Then he comes “you need to boil an egg for me, because I don’t know how”. It was like “glass shattering“ in my brain, and it was over… I finally understood, dude wanted an attention and didn’t give a s**t about my needs and goals. Seriously f u, I was tired being a mother to 22 yo. Great decision to finish this nonsense, never looked back, it’s like ton of weight left my shoulders 👍🏼

amytaylor_1 avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good lord!! My husband was brought up by June F*****g Cleaver and he can still take care of and feed himself!! He doesn't make the gourmet meals I do because I love to cook, but he would never complain if I went out of town. He knows how to make plenty of healthy, simple meals for himself and our kids if I'm not here!!

angelanagel avatar
Yoga Kitty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, honey, you already lost me at "he doesn't mind helping with dishes". Do you also have to tuck him in at night because his blanky is too heavy? Just return him safely to his mommy, and before you start living with somebody else do some soul searching about enabling unwanted behaviour...

joop avatar
joop
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My nephews could stay home alone with 16 and fix themselves bread and a pizza. One is now a real good cook. If his parents don't teach him, he has to learn it himself, just like everyone who goes live on their own. If he wants salad and microwave meals, he can go to the grocery store or doesn't he have an income?

othornhill6792 avatar
Bisces
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No ma'am, he is not a man, he is a child. A complete child. There's nothing man about him. You are his mother, he is your son. No grown man that is competent enough, should have to be taught how to use a toaster or boil eggs! You literally put them in the water forget about them, remember them, and voila! Perfect boiled eggs! How hard is that?

renate_stargardt avatar
Awsomemom52
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So you thought you got a boyfriend and soon realized, he is a child... no, a spoiled teenager... in a mans body. Did you ever heard the phrase: He would do it, if he wanted to.? He really mastered "womanized incompetence". You should either have a serious word with him, about how he can't act like a child anymore.. or think about, if you want to be in a relationship with a man - child

janetch avatar
Janet C
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG women need to stop tolerating man-babies. If a man cannot be an actual half of a partnership he doesn't deserve a partner. OP's boyfriend is the definition of weaponized incompetence. She needs to dump him and find a partner who is actually mature and responsible.

yupan avatar
Yu Pan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are people really that starved for companionship that they purposely put themselves in relationships like this? Is being single really worse than being someone's free maid?

lmjohn19681950 avatar
L Johnson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hand him a metal knife and tell him to put it in the toaster. That will put an end to HER problem. She'll be free to find a REAL man. Can you imagine this d**k if they had kids? He would expect her to work, take care of all household chores, cook AND do all child rearing.

marymarty_2 avatar
Ally Joy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Send him back to his mother. She failed at raising an independent adult.

blatherskitenoir avatar
blatherskitenoir
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he is that bad and happy with his frozen meals, let him have the frozen meals.

nightfalltwen avatar
Kimberley McMillan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Your wife/girlfriend is your partner, not your mom" *clapclap* "Your wife/girlfriend is your partner, not your mom..."

sandrathomas_2 avatar
Just me, myself, and I
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A week or 2 after moving in with my boyfriend (we both were 23 and this was late 70s) I told him "pick one - cook or wash up". He hated doing dishes so he chose to cook. Took a while before I could leave him alone in the kitchen but he became a pretty good cook!

karinlinhardt avatar
Karin L
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel sorry for this woman that she's not sure or not if she is an a*****e doing this.

hjemmemac avatar
Soon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This has nothing to do with not understanding the stove, toaster etc. he likes being served. If you managed to get through college you should be able to understand how to boil an egg. Relatively small children know how to do this. I would run for the hills, he will never learn, and he will guilt trip you if you are to go away without him again.

himorythedreamer avatar
Himory TheDreamer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally I love to cook but I'm afraid of fire. Even when I see other people cooking I tend to panic over them being too close to fire as feel really threatened by it and also feel afraid for those I love. And even still I do everything else, cutting, seasoning, making dough for baking, washing and stay at a safe distance telling my mom or bf the steps to cook my odd-a*s recipes. I've been living with my bf for a week now and I'm really happy he liked some of the recipes I taught him despite not even getting close to the fire myself. Can't wait to make him homemade pasta which is one of few things I'm not afraid of cooking (it's real quick, not much time close to the fire).

roserosee avatar
Rosie Cat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he is that unwilling to learn how to cook, which is NOT a female trait but rather a survival trait their future is not looking too bright. He needs to go back to his mom or find a woman to do these things for him. If the OP were to marry him it would just get worse, because then she would have two babies, and only one of them deserves her to mommy them. Good luck.

karen_mattock avatar
lone dragon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My adult son has Down Syndrome and can make his own meals. This guy is a child. Dump him. NTA

ajones_1 avatar
A Jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can a person combat weaponized incompetence with attacking one's pride. Like "if a 10 year old child can learn to cook an omelet, what's your excuse?". Otherwise is that too toxic?

marigenbeltran_2 avatar
Marigen Beltran
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What kind of high tech toaster do they have that a 23 year old man can't use? I used to toast my own bread as a kid and it was a toaster oven.

niharikakaysan avatar
Bored Turtle Princess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not that he can't, it's just that he wants someone else to make all the food for him since he thinks women should do it.

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stevekenney avatar
Steve Kenney
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I learned to cook by doing it. I didn't know how to do anything that required me to make a meal. I could make toast and boil water but a whole meal, no way. I learned by doing and making mistakes and learning from them, that's how you learn to do the most basic of things.

spookyscaryskeletons avatar
Spooky Scary Skeletons
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Which site is worse? Reddit for pushing made-up BS stories as real, or Bored Panda being so lazy that they use Reddit made-up stories all the time and pushing them as their own articles? lies-62fd3...43fe1a.jpg lies-62fd39a43fe1a.jpg

conniebonneville avatar
Connie Bonneville
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think this is real. She was gone for a week, returns, and he's angry. Did they not text once during that time? I'm calling BS.

deborahbrett avatar
Deborah B
Community Member
1 year ago

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It was inconsiderate not to give him a heads up on the frozen meals. I would suggest you tell him he needs to either buy his own, or contribute more to the food expenses, if they're breaking your budget. However, If he wanted frozen meals why didn't he just buy some? You aren't his mommy, and he's not six. He's a grown man who needs to either learn to shop and cook, or stop whining about having to eat sandwiches and fast food. Weaponised incompetance is manipulative and toxic. Sit down, make up a chore chart, and work out whether he's doing a fair share of the household labour. If he's not, it's time for him to learn how. It doesn't have to be cooking, if you're the better cook, as long as there's still a fair division of labour. You can offer to teach him how to do chores if you think he's worth salvaging, but if he's uninterested in being an equal partner, kick him to the curb.

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's a grown man. He can find his own way to the grocery store and buy frozen meals for himself if he wants them that badly.

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Miss Kat O
Community Member
1 year ago

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I'm a 36 year old female and I can't measure things out in cups either... it's a stupid system.

libstak avatar
Libstak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's this great product called measuring cups. There are even measuring spoons available out there in the wild, was using both in the late 70s and early 80s as a CHILD

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saragregory0508 avatar
NsG
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He must either be phenomenal in bed, or buys her diamonds and roses in his outdated gender stereotype way of keeping his little woman happy, (in which case, I'm wondering whether OP also grew up in an outdated gender role household if she *accepts* this). WHAT T F else is *she* getting out of the relationship? WHY T F is she still with this infant?

jessica-bertram1 avatar
Jessica Bertram
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah, no man is THAT good in bed. not a single one. This guy is grooming her for a life of misery. if she doesn't run now, (and i suspect she will, given that she posted this lil exchange on Reddit) there is nothing we can do for her enabling his awful behavior. When a manipulator successfully grooms a doormat, it's really sad.

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kb0569 avatar
Karl Baxter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He’s being deliberately obtuse. Why is it considered “unmanly” to not know how to feed yourself? That sort of attitude is just embarrassing. This man is a child. Dump him and find someone who wants an equal partnership - not a mother substitutr.

izzycurer avatar
Izzy Curer
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It didn't used to be, even way back in the 1800s. "Baching it" was about the manliest thing a guy could do. If you want to talk about actual, traditional gender norms, cooking and cleaning for yourself was almost considered too manly, as in, if you were a gentleman, you weren't supposed to do it for very long because it wasn't good for you not to have a feminine influence in the house. The guy in this story has just made up some romanticized fiction of what gender norms are 'supposed' to be in his head. Throw the guy back in time, and they would have thought he was a prima donna manchild.

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zeljkoklaric78_1 avatar
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. If somebody claims a toaster was too complicated you know he's full of s**t. I think OP did way too much, to accommodate her lazy BF. Buying all the groceries for him for a week now? come on

ansistargirl avatar
Ansi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But, but, but... gosh, a toaster is really complicated to figure out. /s You have the square bread and the slots are rectangular. So were does the bread go and what's that little n*b med number and that push-thing? 😯 It's so much easier to gaslight his GF to do it for you. 🤦‍♀️

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dirkdaring99 avatar
Dirk Daring
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A man who can't feed himself ain't much damn use for anything else.

killerkittens avatar
Amy S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet his outdated gender roles don't extend to her giving up her job and him being the sole provider, plus doing all the DIY/garden chores. Just leave him, let him starve if he is too stubborn to even shop for foods he likes.

mar42991 avatar
Melissa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this idiot can't use a toaster, then he should return that college degree immediately. I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than stuck with a user that makes me miserable.

iblewsheep avatar
iblewsheep
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The dude is a man child. MAYBE she could have mentioned she didn't buy his frozen meals for him, but if the guy is too useless to even go out to the store to buy his own pre made packaged s**t for dinner, then screw him. His "this is too complicated" nonsense is just that, nonsense. I learned how to cook. I didn't learn it from parents. My father was one of these "that's a woman's job," ninnies, my Mother was always screaming "GTF out of the kitchen!" any time i would try to see how she did what she was doing while making meals. I learned it on my own. I am not special for doing so.

c_devine avatar
Seedy Vine
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP is dating a toddler. He is the AH. If she stays and continues to enable him, she'll also be an AH... to herself.

ljmul83 avatar
L Mullen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Gender Norms"? My father grew up in the 20s and 30s, guess who knew how to cook. His mother and father raised a man who could take care of himself.

waril-debbie avatar
loona
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get it. So when he didn't find any frozen ready meals he was incapable to buy some for himself?! LEAVE THIS RELATIONSHIP, PRONTO!

eleabell avatar
Elea Bell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If nothing else, you can cook rice and salmon in a microwave. You can cook a potato in a microwave. You can cook steamed vegetables in a microwave. I suggest that the next time he approaches her with that attitude, she should inform him that all complaints will be handled by Ms. Helen Waite. If he won't make anything but frozen meals, and expects her to make edible food, he can go to Helen Waite.

magentamanganit avatar
MagNat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So is he saying that if we don't feed those men-children for long enough, they'll go extinct? I won't lie, it's kind of tempting.

nightshade1972 avatar
Nightshade1972
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A few years back, I read about a guy who had a very "traditional" marriage--she did all the cooking and cleaning, he worked outside the home. At one point, she needed to have surgery for a medical issue, and they told her she'd be in the hospital for three weeks. Even though she was feeling miserable, she went to the effort of making and freezing three weeks worth of meals so that he'd have something for dinner while she was gone. As it turned out, she had complications and needed to stay in the hospital an extra week. Rather than being sympathetic to her, he was angry! "I'm about to run out of meals, what am I gonna do if she stays in the hospital for anothr week?! You have to let her out so she can cook for me again!" That behavior was apparently enough for her to snap out of it--after she got out of the hospital (she *did* stay an extra week), she divorced him.

ina_11 avatar
Pianosaurus
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Working with people with serious mental health issues. They learn how to cook very easily. The difference is: they WANT to learn it. You’re NTA!

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He doesn't know how to use a toaster?! Most children learn how to use a toaster by at least age 8, usually younger. Most men can find their way to a grocery store and locate the frozen microwaveable meals quite easily.

tiinabender avatar
Iifa A.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I cook meals at home and do dishes, my partner does not. But when I'm away on holidays he never complains and does it for himself. Last time I was gone he said he ordered once, and rest of the time.managed to cook. When I return he has new admiration and appreciation that I do it. He moved in with me with zero skills, he learned happily. Why are you living with a man that has zero respect towards you or himself. It would never occur to me to blame my partner for my own inability to cook. Send him back home. And please refrain from having children until this one is grown up. Life can throw obstacles where the wife may not be able to do any housework or cook, what then? What happens if you get sick, pregnant, difficult birth, newborn baby? I was on bedrest for 9mth, couldn't carry more than 3kg. You're not in a relationship living with a man. You're alone living with an entitled male roommate who has found himself a maid. Why are you together?

joop avatar
joop
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even my 86 y o dad can put a pizza in the oven. Lol we always got pizza when my mom worked.

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libstak avatar
Libstak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Claiming not to be able to use a toaster is pretty ridiculous. I was making toast at 4 and 5 years old fgs.

veritech-pilot avatar
onitsuka
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All these AITA posts make me lose faith in humanity. She needs to drop this potato sack. Cooking isn't rocket science. Boiling an egg isn't brain surgery. He's just refusing to do these things. Why people stay with these mouth breathers is beyond me.

madmcqueen avatar
Mad McQueen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Move on. He's a mommas boy and this is utter stupidity on him being entitled.

garymohammed avatar
WhoIsYourLeader
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He got fast fod, but could get his own frozen meals from the supermarket? Duh

anb1388 avatar
Allison B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA! I mean I didn't really learn to actually cook until I was like 30 but before that I at least tried to! I could pretty much only make frozen meals, pasta, and toast. Its only when I got an instapot as a gift one year that I really learned how to actually cook. Im still not great, but definitely better! But this guy doesn't even seem to try!

to-kim avatar
To-Kim
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope OP leaves this lazy abusive whiny overgrown toddler. She would be the AT if she stays with him.

abigailrose_1 avatar
Wysteria_Rose
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My stepsons tried convincing me that no one had ever taught them how to make a bed...until I went directly to their dad in the next room who called out this little white lie. Even when they insisted, I said, "Well, you're going to learn today! And you'll practice until you can do it well." This is a man-child who doesn't want to learn; a toaster is not complicated at all. Girl needs to take these red flags and run far and fast.

bellebeasleymiles avatar
Belle Miles
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Congratulations on your adoption lady. You might want to get him his big boy bed in another room. He's to old to still be sleeping in Mommy's bed.

pieladyjack avatar
Jacqueline Pie Francis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a big baby. She should dump him. That is RIDICULOUS. My family is Italian and everyone cooks—the men and the women. The great chefs of the world include men and women. It is not a woman’s job to coddle men. There is no excuse for this guy to not be able to make a piece of toast.

tahadata avatar
Lara Verne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Turning stove is too complicated, toaster is too complicated....Lol is he a toddler? Or mentally challenged? No?Then he can make his own food.

linbot1 avatar
Lily Mae Kitty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

if a toaster is too complicated for him, he should move back home with mom and dad.

caseymcalister avatar
Casey McAlister
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously NTA. This BF sounds absolutely pathetic. I just don't understand one thing - she didn't tell him she didn't buy his frozen meals, but why didn't he buy them himself? He could literally buy them instead of fast food. How stupid is this man exactly?

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is completely ridiculous. My fourteen year old brother knows how to cook a few things and is really capable of fending for himself. When I was growing up we learned all of these simple tasks early because we knew we would need to. We started washing the dishes and our clothes at eleven years old. I knew how a coffee maker and toaster worked long before that. Like several other people said this weaponized incompetence and you don't have to put up with it. You need to leave him and find someone that is not stuck in the toddler phase.

mfaby avatar
Mark Faby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree with her way of framing her story but having said that her bf is a effing moron, no ifs, ands or buts.

douggraham avatar
Doug Graham
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's not his girlfriend...she's his babysitter. Dump his a*s, and let him fend for himself...or find some other sugarmama to cater to his every whim.

elaineelder avatar
Elaine Elder
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My daughter (25) asked her dad (51) if I could make her a grilled herself sandwich because she doesn't know how to cook one with all the different cheeses in it. He said "Darlin! I know what your I.Q. is, you can make a grilled cheese sandwich!" "Yeah, but it never tastes as good as Mom's" So they made grilled cheese for me. Real Parmesan almost burnt into real butter on sour dough bread with whatever other kinds of cheese hiding in fridge.

asouthernbelle0 avatar
Lexie Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even my grandfather knew how to make fried bologna sandwiches and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when my grandmother wasn't around to cook. She did all the cooking in their marriage other than grilling. No man is that incompetent without wanting to be.

larisamigachyov avatar
Lara M
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This person has a job? He's allowed to drive a car? He has a bank account? Or does he need an assisted living facility?

brookeklein avatar
Brooke Klein
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How does he like frozen meals but not leftovers..? If you had premade meals like you mentioned & put them in the freezer/fridge for him to reheat it would have literally been the same thing???? Also dump him. My boyfriend didn't know how to even chop an onion or cook ramen on the stove before I met him, but after three months of us living together, if I work on a day he doesn't, he has dinner ready & waiting for me to get home. You're dating a pos

jppennington avatar
JayWantsACat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It''s not manly to cook", he says while whining and crying that a woman didnt feed him like a literal infant. These are the same morons who think liberals are cucks and Trump, who spends all him whining on social media, is an alpha

deborahharris avatar
Deborah Harris
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Perhaps he should have stayed at Mommy's house that week. I wonder how he managed to change his own diapers.

nikkisevven avatar
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Learned helplessness to force someone else to do the work. You don't have a boyfriend; you have a man-child.

mbbookkeeping avatar
DuchessDegu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he can't operate a toaster I wonder how he navigates other basic tasks such as brushing teeth or wiping his bum 🤢

mim8209 avatar
MimSorensson
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The AITA question is moot, I feel; this woman needs to get the fùck out quick. That extreme level of weaponized incompetence is a red flag so big you could cover the country with it - she needs to leave now, before she’s the permanent substitute mommy to a whiny little man child.

editor_16 avatar
Sue Denham
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is scary. I hope she thinks long and hard about all the answers she received.

clairelise avatar
clairelise@pacific.net
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex when we met: "I do want to work, I can't find a job that I'll always enjoy." You don't have to like it. But you do have to do it.

gfstaylor avatar
GFSTaylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew a woman who was annoyed that her teenage son said he couldn't manage the washing machine to do his own laundry. I said that if he wanted driving lessons, she should say that if he can't manage a washing machine, he can't manage a car. Amazing how many 'men' know how to manage a large, fast-moving machine,, but can't figure out how to use a machine in the kitchen.

xqueenbee59x avatar
Spittnimage
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get rid of this loser who expects you to be his mommy and his girlfriend.

tmhb avatar
TM
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait… He can’t even buy the frozen meals? Definitely, she’s NTA, and she should get another boy friend.

amberhartsfield avatar
Amber The bear
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your actions were TOTALLY justified, girlfriend. If he wants to be such a manchild, let him and leave him. Or just refuse to cook for him until he learns how to. It’s not that hard to put a pan on the stove, turn the k.n.o.b (it was censored) and cook some eggs, for Pete’s sake!! I learned how to cook eggs when I was 10!! ALONG with learning how to toast bread in a toaster when I was 5 yrs old. My dad cooks for my mom all the time and is still one of the toughest guys I know. IF YOU COOK YOUR OWN MEALS, THAT MAKES YOU MORE DESIRABLE GUYS!!!! And one more thing. HOW DID THIS GIY EAT WHEN HE WASNT DATING ANYONE?!

findgretta avatar
I'mNotARoboat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My toddler loves mixing the eggs in the bowl and then watches while I cook. To say this man is a toddler does toddlers a disservice. This man is an infant and unwilling to grow up. Weaponized incompetence at it's finest. He needs to go if he's not going to grow.

hmoore_1 avatar
H M
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Time to leave him. Mine couldn't cook either, I did. But he could make toast, do eggs, and had a go at shepherds pie once, not bad...not perfect but he did manage if he needed to. He also cleaned the loo and the oven as well as more "manly" chores.

julija-mich avatar
B-b-bird
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For exactly this reason I’ve left someone before. Because his mommy was doing everything, he was used to it so much that made him completely incapable to take care of himself. Breaking point for me was when I was doing uni project through the night trying to chase time and finish before sunrise (still with a hope to get few hours of sleep). He was hanging out at my place, and interrupting me with constant questions “how to?”. Now I understand, maybe guy sincerely wants to learn, just it’s a bad timing for me. Then he comes “you need to boil an egg for me, because I don’t know how”. It was like “glass shattering“ in my brain, and it was over… I finally understood, dude wanted an attention and didn’t give a s**t about my needs and goals. Seriously f u, I was tired being a mother to 22 yo. Great decision to finish this nonsense, never looked back, it’s like ton of weight left my shoulders 👍🏼

amytaylor_1 avatar
Amy Taylor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good lord!! My husband was brought up by June F*****g Cleaver and he can still take care of and feed himself!! He doesn't make the gourmet meals I do because I love to cook, but he would never complain if I went out of town. He knows how to make plenty of healthy, simple meals for himself and our kids if I'm not here!!

angelanagel avatar
Yoga Kitty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, honey, you already lost me at "he doesn't mind helping with dishes". Do you also have to tuck him in at night because his blanky is too heavy? Just return him safely to his mommy, and before you start living with somebody else do some soul searching about enabling unwanted behaviour...

joop avatar
joop
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My nephews could stay home alone with 16 and fix themselves bread and a pizza. One is now a real good cook. If his parents don't teach him, he has to learn it himself, just like everyone who goes live on their own. If he wants salad and microwave meals, he can go to the grocery store or doesn't he have an income?

othornhill6792 avatar
Bisces
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No ma'am, he is not a man, he is a child. A complete child. There's nothing man about him. You are his mother, he is your son. No grown man that is competent enough, should have to be taught how to use a toaster or boil eggs! You literally put them in the water forget about them, remember them, and voila! Perfect boiled eggs! How hard is that?

renate_stargardt avatar
Awsomemom52
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So you thought you got a boyfriend and soon realized, he is a child... no, a spoiled teenager... in a mans body. Did you ever heard the phrase: He would do it, if he wanted to.? He really mastered "womanized incompetence". You should either have a serious word with him, about how he can't act like a child anymore.. or think about, if you want to be in a relationship with a man - child

janetch avatar
Janet C
Community Member
9 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG women need to stop tolerating man-babies. If a man cannot be an actual half of a partnership he doesn't deserve a partner. OP's boyfriend is the definition of weaponized incompetence. She needs to dump him and find a partner who is actually mature and responsible.

yupan avatar
Yu Pan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are people really that starved for companionship that they purposely put themselves in relationships like this? Is being single really worse than being someone's free maid?

lmjohn19681950 avatar
L Johnson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hand him a metal knife and tell him to put it in the toaster. That will put an end to HER problem. She'll be free to find a REAL man. Can you imagine this d**k if they had kids? He would expect her to work, take care of all household chores, cook AND do all child rearing.

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Ally Joy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Send him back to his mother. She failed at raising an independent adult.

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blatherskitenoir
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he is that bad and happy with his frozen meals, let him have the frozen meals.

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Kimberley McMillan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Your wife/girlfriend is your partner, not your mom" *clapclap* "Your wife/girlfriend is your partner, not your mom..."

sandrathomas_2 avatar
Just me, myself, and I
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A week or 2 after moving in with my boyfriend (we both were 23 and this was late 70s) I told him "pick one - cook or wash up". He hated doing dishes so he chose to cook. Took a while before I could leave him alone in the kitchen but he became a pretty good cook!

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Karin L
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel sorry for this woman that she's not sure or not if she is an a*****e doing this.

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Soon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This has nothing to do with not understanding the stove, toaster etc. he likes being served. If you managed to get through college you should be able to understand how to boil an egg. Relatively small children know how to do this. I would run for the hills, he will never learn, and he will guilt trip you if you are to go away without him again.

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Himory TheDreamer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally I love to cook but I'm afraid of fire. Even when I see other people cooking I tend to panic over them being too close to fire as feel really threatened by it and also feel afraid for those I love. And even still I do everything else, cutting, seasoning, making dough for baking, washing and stay at a safe distance telling my mom or bf the steps to cook my odd-a*s recipes. I've been living with my bf for a week now and I'm really happy he liked some of the recipes I taught him despite not even getting close to the fire myself. Can't wait to make him homemade pasta which is one of few things I'm not afraid of cooking (it's real quick, not much time close to the fire).

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Rosie Cat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he is that unwilling to learn how to cook, which is NOT a female trait but rather a survival trait their future is not looking too bright. He needs to go back to his mom or find a woman to do these things for him. If the OP were to marry him it would just get worse, because then she would have two babies, and only one of them deserves her to mommy them. Good luck.

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lone dragon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My adult son has Down Syndrome and can make his own meals. This guy is a child. Dump him. NTA

ajones_1 avatar
A Jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can a person combat weaponized incompetence with attacking one's pride. Like "if a 10 year old child can learn to cook an omelet, what's your excuse?". Otherwise is that too toxic?

marigenbeltran_2 avatar
Marigen Beltran
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What kind of high tech toaster do they have that a 23 year old man can't use? I used to toast my own bread as a kid and it was a toaster oven.

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Bored Turtle Princess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not that he can't, it's just that he wants someone else to make all the food for him since he thinks women should do it.

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Steve Kenney
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I learned to cook by doing it. I didn't know how to do anything that required me to make a meal. I could make toast and boil water but a whole meal, no way. I learned by doing and making mistakes and learning from them, that's how you learn to do the most basic of things.

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Spooky Scary Skeletons
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Which site is worse? Reddit for pushing made-up BS stories as real, or Bored Panda being so lazy that they use Reddit made-up stories all the time and pushing them as their own articles? lies-62fd3...43fe1a.jpg lies-62fd39a43fe1a.jpg

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Connie Bonneville
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think this is real. She was gone for a week, returns, and he's angry. Did they not text once during that time? I'm calling BS.

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Deborah B
Community Member
1 year ago

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It was inconsiderate not to give him a heads up on the frozen meals. I would suggest you tell him he needs to either buy his own, or contribute more to the food expenses, if they're breaking your budget. However, If he wanted frozen meals why didn't he just buy some? You aren't his mommy, and he's not six. He's a grown man who needs to either learn to shop and cook, or stop whining about having to eat sandwiches and fast food. Weaponised incompetance is manipulative and toxic. Sit down, make up a chore chart, and work out whether he's doing a fair share of the household labour. If he's not, it's time for him to learn how. It doesn't have to be cooking, if you're the better cook, as long as there's still a fair division of labour. You can offer to teach him how to do chores if you think he's worth salvaging, but if he's uninterested in being an equal partner, kick him to the curb.

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's a grown man. He can find his own way to the grocery store and buy frozen meals for himself if he wants them that badly.

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Miss Kat O
Community Member
1 year ago

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I'm a 36 year old female and I can't measure things out in cups either... it's a stupid system.

libstak avatar
Libstak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's this great product called measuring cups. There are even measuring spoons available out there in the wild, was using both in the late 70s and early 80s as a CHILD

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