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11 Funny Reasons Why The New Yorker Should Hire This 9-Year-Old Girl To Write All Their Cartoon Captions
Bess Kalb is an Emmy-nominated writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live, so she knows good creative writing when she sees it. And it looks like the knack for putting words together runs in her family. Recently, Bess tweeted a series of captions her cousin’s 9-year-old daughter wrote for The New Yorker cartoons, and they’re hilarious.
“Everything is terrible but my cousin’s 9-year old daughter Alice has been quietly and masterfully slaying the New Yorker’s caption contest and it’s pure delight,” Kalb wrote.
Each week the magazine provides a cartoon in need of a caption. The readers submit their versions, and members of the editorial staff choose three finalists. The finalists appear on the New Yorker’s website and people choose the winner who will have his or her caption and name printed in the magazine. But there’s a problem. According to the official rules, only people 13 and over can enter or vote, meaning Alice has to wait 4 more years to participate.
However, that doesn’t stop the comedy prodigy from perfecting her skills. “There are so many,” Kalb added. “She grabs every issue before her mom can get a hold of it, and every single one of them is perfect.”
After her captions went viral, Kalb showed the little girl the enormous support they received. “Teachers don’t always encourage creative writing, so today has been a huge shot of confidence for her. Let young girls know when they’re funny and smart. Many people don’t.”
More info: Twitter
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People instantly fell in love with Alice’s captions
Bess was overwhelmed by the positive response
What do you think ?
Laurence Srinivasan 7 years ago
9 year olds don't have the irony wit or double entendre to write clever captions really
Rosa Visger 2 years ago
Well, that trait is really environmental. Considering that her mom is a cartoonist, I suppose some of her talent rubbed off.
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Laurence Srinivasan 7 years ago
Conference table: "I've called you all together here today to discuss the improper use of personal sick days".
Hilzillah 7 years ago
I Will probably get downvoted, but I have to agree...
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Stille20 7 years ago
Eh, but she's nine, so its a good start. Besides, a lot of New Yorker comments aren't funny either.
joop loop 7 years ago
I can imagine the possibility of the sound of that laugh. High pitch likely. Nice to be presumptuous, projecting the assumed psychological genesis of my comment. Further, I'll wrap myself in objectivity and empirical evidence. Got it :)
Load More Replies...
Laurence Srinivasan 7 years ago
Hiker to Himalayan wise man: "I come in search of eternal wisdom, but I would settle for cot cocoa."
Laurence Srinivasan 7 years ago
Subway car: "I don't think I can sandwich myself into that car". Or : "I heard they run a $6 special on Fridays". Or: "the turkey always slows down after lunchtime"
Joseph Tessier 7 years ago
'Table for two please' is not bad, but the rest is terrible. I know she's nine, but, by that age, you don't say their drawing is amazing when it's not. Also don't like the nepotistic nature of this. We're supposed to pretend these are funny because her mother is a writer.
Claudia Lorenz 7 years ago
Perhaps this is hilarious to young children. Not to me. Over exaggerating is an American disease.
Sally Vogel 7 years ago
Not bad for a nine year old but not funny to adults. I'd hold off on hiring her.
Sree S 7 years ago
All the comments that are encouraging the NINE-YEAR-OLD are getting downvotes... if you scroll down, every comment is only encouraging and congratulating her. HONESTLY she is only a nine-year-old, and I don't get the hate thats going around here. Im pretty sure not half of you remember how 'clever' and 'funny' you were when you were nine, so you should stop hating. I don't mind the ppl who personally didn't really like it, but I don't like the ppl who r completely discouraging her.
Sree S 7 years ago
Its one thing to express your opinion and another to discourage and put them down.
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C Hypercube 7 years ago
At first I thought the language barrier prevents me from seeing the humor in these, but reading other comments I realize that it looks that she has a bad case of lack of humor.
Tommy Boylen 7 years ago
WELL, ONE MUST FIRST HAVE THE ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE HUMOR!!
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Johanna Zamora 7 years ago
She's off to a good start. Many a NY'er cartoonist is looking over his/her shoulder
Jef Bateman 7 years ago
"Table for two, please" - and there is only one climber (still alive, I mean). That is dark for a nine-year-old.
MJ Beecker 7 years ago
My caption with ducks is the obvious...One duck to the other, "every hear the joke about a bear, Abe Lincoln, and a clown walk into a bar?" Kids got a great sense of humor..
Laurence Srinivasan 7 years ago
9 year olds don't have the irony wit or double entendre to write clever captions really
Rosa Visger 2 years ago
Well, that trait is really environmental. Considering that her mom is a cartoonist, I suppose some of her talent rubbed off.
Load More Replies... Laurence Srinivasan 7 years ago
Conference table: "I've called you all together here today to discuss the improper use of personal sick days".
Hilzillah 7 years ago
I Will probably get downvoted, but I have to agree...
Load More Replies... Stille20 7 years ago
Eh, but she's nine, so its a good start. Besides, a lot of New Yorker comments aren't funny either.
joop loop 7 years ago
I can imagine the possibility of the sound of that laugh. High pitch likely. Nice to be presumptuous, projecting the assumed psychological genesis of my comment. Further, I'll wrap myself in objectivity and empirical evidence. Got it :)
Load More Replies... Laurence Srinivasan 7 years ago
Hiker to Himalayan wise man: "I come in search of eternal wisdom, but I would settle for cot cocoa."
Laurence Srinivasan 7 years ago
Subway car: "I don't think I can sandwich myself into that car". Or : "I heard they run a $6 special on Fridays". Or: "the turkey always slows down after lunchtime"
Joseph Tessier 7 years ago
'Table for two please' is not bad, but the rest is terrible. I know she's nine, but, by that age, you don't say their drawing is amazing when it's not. Also don't like the nepotistic nature of this. We're supposed to pretend these are funny because her mother is a writer.
Claudia Lorenz 7 years ago
Perhaps this is hilarious to young children. Not to me. Over exaggerating is an American disease.
Sally Vogel 7 years ago
Not bad for a nine year old but not funny to adults. I'd hold off on hiring her.
Sree S 7 years ago
All the comments that are encouraging the NINE-YEAR-OLD are getting downvotes... if you scroll down, every comment is only encouraging and congratulating her. HONESTLY she is only a nine-year-old, and I don't get the hate thats going around here. Im pretty sure not half of you remember how 'clever' and 'funny' you were when you were nine, so you should stop hating. I don't mind the ppl who personally didn't really like it, but I don't like the ppl who r completely discouraging her.
Sree S 7 years ago
Its one thing to express your opinion and another to discourage and put them down.
Load More Replies... C Hypercube 7 years ago
At first I thought the language barrier prevents me from seeing the humor in these, but reading other comments I realize that it looks that she has a bad case of lack of humor.
Tommy Boylen 7 years ago
WELL, ONE MUST FIRST HAVE THE ABILITY TO RECOGNIZE HUMOR!!
Load More Replies... Johanna Zamora 7 years ago
She's off to a good start. Many a NY'er cartoonist is looking over his/her shoulder
Jef Bateman 7 years ago
"Table for two, please" - and there is only one climber (still alive, I mean). That is dark for a nine-year-old.
MJ Beecker 7 years ago
My caption with ducks is the obvious...One duck to the other, "every hear the joke about a bear, Abe Lincoln, and a clown walk into a bar?" Kids got a great sense of humor..
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